The Zombie Letters

by Shoemate, Billie

  “I don’t like how you’re treated,” Alvin said, breaking the silence between them. “You’re a nice person. Very intelligent. Why does that man treat you the way he does?” “I think it is because I can’t have children. He said he wanted kids before we even got married and I didn’t tell him I couldn’t. I was so afraid he’d leave me. There was always an excuse as to why my tests always ended up negative. I had a million of ‘em . . . but I couldn’t take the lying anymore. I told him and over time he . . . changed. I mean, he was always highly-strung, but after that, he got . . .”

  “Violent?”

  She nodded.

  “Despite what you did or didn’t tell him, that is no way to treat your wife. You forgive the ones you love.”

  “Yeah, well . . .” Ana turned to face French. He met her stare and looked into her eyes. She’d never really observed his before. He had deep blue ones. Long lashes for a man, too. They were beautiful. “Well . . . who asked you?” she said as cold as she could, but even she could hear the still-existing uncertainty in her voice.

  “Sorry . . .” Alvin said. His voice deepened and he sighed, returning his oddly feminine eyes to the light of the moon that reflected itself in them.

  “Don’t be sorry. It wasn’t until you, Doctor Miles and Dennis came along that I have actually been around real men. You protected me. I almost forgot what real men were like. I’m afraid of him. I’ve been thinking about leaving for a long time, but I know he’ll kill me. He beat me when I’d forget to lock a door or when dinner was cold. Imagine his reaction to me splitting. Hey, Alvin?”

  “Yes?”

  “Are you really interested in this lunar geography stuff?”

  He smiled sweetly. His eyes were still glued to the pale orb hanging in space outside the window. He didn’t turn to face her, but he nodded as he smiled. “Actually, I am absolutely fascinated. Didn’t think I would be, to be honest. It’s the way you put it into perspective. Makes me think it’s not all just names for stuff seen through a telescope. You’re passionate about it. True passion is infectious. Reminds me that those mistaken seas up there are actual places.”

  Ana’s face flushed again. She didn’t know why, but the strangest thought popped into her head. She wanted to hold his hand. Happy or unhappy, she was still married and a good, Christ-loving woman. It sounded absolutely childish to her, but just looking at him with that thought in her mind made her shudder. However, as good as it would feel, it wouldn’t be right with God. Even if her husband was a bad man.

  Darin Miles walked up to the both of them with a large smile on his face. He patted Alvin on the back. “Hey, anti-socials! Wanna play poker with Dennis, Vic and me?”

  “I’m in if Ana is. Whaddaya say, kiddo?”

  “What about Christian?” she said, stammering a bit.

  “Guy’s dangerous. He’s outside being fuckin’ weird like usual. He can stay there. Dude creeps me ou . . . sorry, Ana. I didn’t mean any disrespect,” Darin said. “My big-ass mouth. That was mean. Sorry.”

  “It’s okay,” she replied. “Being around you both and Dennis . . . you men are so respectful. I wasn’t allowed any male friends. I feel stronger with you. Like I recognize things I didn’t before.”

  “So you’ll play??!!” Victoria yelled from the far-off room where they set up the table.

  “Jesus, you have fucking super-hearing or something, Vic?! Remind me to never talk about you while your back’s turned!” Darin said.

  “I love you tooooooooooo!” She playfully yelled back.

  She said she loves me.

  Alvin placed a hand on Ana’s shoulder. She felt a strange sensation echo through her. She wanted to pull away; embarrassed by her vulnerability at the present moment. She kept still, pretending his touch had no effect on her. “Listen,” he said, “you are smart, capable and a hell of a lot tougher than you think. Any person that can survive what happened to the world is no one to fuck with, in my opinion. I’ll protect you. We are a family now . . . ok? All of us. If a member of that family mistreats another, they’re gonna get a permanent dent in their forehead.”

  “Why, though? Why take it upon yourself to protect someone like me?” she said. “You didn’t even know me until just recently. Before this all happened, you would barely say ‘hi’ under your breath if you saw me on the street.”

  “You may not believe this, considering what you’re used to, but you are a woman. I respect women and if one is ever mistreated and pushed around, it is my duty as a human being . . . as a man to make damn sure it never happens again. You’re part of this little family now . . . and no matter where we go or what happens to us, we don’t split. As long as you want us, you got us. So . . . how about playing some five-card draw? I broke open a change machine a few days ago and I have a whole bag of quarters we can use as chips. Kind of useless items now, but hey . . . what’s a rich guy gonna do when money is useless, huh?”

  “Come on,” Darin said. “Have fun with us.”

  III

  He sat outside in the grass . . . a fresh game of solitaire going. There was no wind outside, so the cards stayed put. Solitaire was never much of an outdoor sport, but tonight it worked. This game always helped him think. His mind was a steel trap lately. Christian Garner was rattled, yes, but he was nothing if not calculated. The physically stronger men outnumbered him . . . but like Dad always said, keeping enemies close is one thing, but never let anyone know what you’re thinking. Even friends. Friends can become enemies quicker than anyone. True. Keep yourself small. That’s the ticket. Christian had let too much of his anger slip already. Some damage was done, but not enough to permanently fuck up the plan taking root inside his mind. They were inside having a grand ol’ time. That bitch. Standing there, talking to that faggy-looking rich-boy pilot about all that moon horseshit. Probably just wanted to fuck her. From the way she looked at him, she’d probably enjoy it. Those guys can pass her ass around like a peace pipe for all he gave a shit. She had fucked his life up for long enough.

  Christian glanced at the planter in which Archie now sat. “How ya doin’ over there, Archie?” he said. “You and I are a lot alike, you know. Yeah . . .” he heard his own voice bounce off the exterior walls of the building. What echoed quickly past his ears sounded like the talking of a madman. The sound of his voice was frightening. Perhaps it was just the jitters of what was to take place tomorrow. “Tomorrow’s gonna be an interesting day, Arch. Gotta finish this game here and get crack-a-lackin’. The cavalry will be arriving tomorrow. Gonna make ‘em feel welcome. Maybe throw them a little welcoming party, what do you say?”

  “Who are you talking to?” the voice startled him. Christian reached for the large knife he kept strapped to his leg when Darin Miles walked up and sat in the grass across from him.

  “Oh, just thinking. Planning out a . . . strategy.”

  “Yeah,” Darin said. “Solitaire is a game of the mind, man. Very overlooked and underrated strategic exercise. Never been really good at it myself. I always have to find some way to cheat. I guess not all doctors are smart at everything, huh? Well . . . you’re a doctor too, I’ve heard.”

  He didn’t hear what I was saying. Close one . . . wasn’t it, Archie? Christian thought, taking his hand off the Velcro strip at his ankle. “Yeah. Always had kind of a fixation with solitaire. Not a lot of people know that there are about a million-and-a-half different ways to play it.”

  “Garner,” Darin interrupted with a deep and slow breath. “Everyone’s afraid of you. Especially Ana. Dennis says you haven’t said three words to her in weeks and you spend nearly every waking second by yourself. I wanted to tell you that I understand, man. Believe me, I do. Nothing about the world is understandable anymore. It does crazy things to a person. I’ve had my moments too. I wanted to tell you that I get it. I mean, I really get it. Dennis says we’re a family now and I agree with him. We all should watch out for each other. Even you. I know you’re hurting, buddy. If you need to talk to someone who won’t jud
ge . . .”

  Christian halted Darin by putting his hand gently in the air, as if to physically halt the words coming out of the doctor’s mouth. He put on the best smile he could, softened his voice and put on his good-guy eyes. “I’ve been the jerk-off here . . . for a long time. Things are difficult enough and I am just making things more stressful. I came out here to think . . . do a little soul-searching and I promise . . . man to man, that I’ll start making it up to everybody tomorrow. It’s about time I became a part of the solution for a change.” Darin didn’t seem to pick up on Christian’s acting skills. He swelled inside with pride. Good fucking acting. I’ll have my Oscar, please. You love me. You really love me.

  Doctor Miles stood up and clapped his hands together. A nice complacency was on his face. “Awesome, man. And if you need help, I’m here. You wanna get a jump-start on it? Play a little game with us? More than welcome.”

  “I’d love to . . . but I have a couple things I gotta do before I turn in. Kinda put off my chores today. You all have a good time tonight. We have a lot to celebrate about. The Army rides in tomorrow. I just want to take care of a few little things before we go.”

  “No problemo, Christian. You know . . . what scares me the most about all this that’s happening?”

  “What?”

  “Man, I knew that formula like the back of my hand. I studied every single side effect. I can manufacture that stuff in a lab like I’m baking a cake. Teel told me how they spread to other countries. Those things walked on the bottom of the fucking ocean like some kind of biblical plague. You know what bothers me so much about it? I can’t explain how. I can’t explain how Archie’s extract works, I can’t explain how they can take all that tremendous pressure at the bottom of the sea without flattening like pancakes, but bullets seem to stun them. I know so little and I created this stuff. “

  “Well, you said that the drug you made did really well in saline solution,” Christian said, sounding distracted.

  “Never thought of that before. Maybe I am just too jumbled up to comprehend anything right now. Listen, man. Take ‘er easy and let me know if you need anything. Have a good night.”

  “You too, Doctor Miles. See ya in the morning.”

  “Bright and early, fellow Doctor Garner! Gonna be a big day tomorrow!”

  Christian went back to his cards and smiled. “Big day . . . you bet. You bet.”

  IV

  They stayed up for another couple of hours. Victoria Rains kicked everyone’s asses at Monopoly not only once, but twice. She had a stack at the end that nearly shut down the banker. Dennis Jackson called the General before they all turned in for the night. They were on their way and would be arriving the next morning. Despite the extreme need to get there, he said that they had to move slowly. Too late to start making mistakes. Getting in a big hurry will only fuck things up. There were enough side-rooms to accommodate everybody. Dennis slept on a couch in the main Base Commander’s office. Doctor Miles, who drew first watch, eventually retired on one of the cots set up at the back of the barracks. Ana came to relieve him. She was always apprehensive about the watch, but after Dennis showed her how to safely fire a gun, she seemed at least halfway at ease enough to stand a shift without too much objection.

  Victoria Rains lied awake at the cot she set up in the cafeteria. Everyone aside from Frenchie was at the back of the building. French slept near the door. He said he felt safer there. The cafeteria was the warmest area of the whole building . . . September was still warm enough at night to remain comfortable, but not without at least a light blanket. The other rooms felt at least ten degrees colder. She lay on her back with her hands laced behind her head. She tossed and turned through Dennis’ whole shift. Her thoughts drifted to Dennis for a moment. What a terrible thing he must be going through. His wife and babies were taken away and he was nearly killed trying to go with them. They were out there now . . . believing he was dead. Right now, his loved ones were mourning him. Poor Dennis. He is such a nice man. He seemed to have a deep sense of loyalty about him. Dennis Jackson took respect seriously. When someone or something steps in the way of that, his personality instantly changes. He can be a pretty intimidating guy. Kind of funny for a tall, curly-headed computer guy with thick glasses. The whole group had a lot of respect for Dennis Jackson. Alvin French too. For such a good-looking Los Angeles rich boy, he seemed truly genuine. Victoria could tell he didn’t originally come from money. Ana had seemed to take a liking to him. She was a little naive, but a good person. Christian . . . she didn’t even want to get started on that guy. Darin kept vouching for him anytime his name was mentioned, but Darin Miles is naturally a trusting person. Christian Garner isn’t all there.

  “I think he’s snapped,” Victoria told Dennis before the evening’s festivities began. “We’ve all come to be close . . . closer than you’d really think in such a short time. I dunno . . . maybe it’s just the circumstances, but it’s true nonetheless.” Dennis decided to make a pact with everybody. No matter what, they would all stick together. Even if they were rescued or not. Even if and when they get transported to a safe place with other survivors, they formed a strange bond with each other. Strange, but natural and real.

  Darin wanted to give Christian the benefit of a doubt, but Christian was just so strange. Ana was a sweetheart and seemed to come out of her shell even within the past few days. Dennis said that her breaking free was a fairly new development. Maybe it was Alvin French. Frenchie told Victoria he was a Buddhist. Why such a catch like that would want to remain celibate was a mystery to her . . . but to each their own. Buddhists are good people. Ana Garner seemed fascinated with him. She was like that with all the other men to a certain degree. It was almost as if she wasn’t aware that men could show kindness. Men could laugh without having to be drunk, they could speak softly without an ulterior motive and they could have a difficult conversation without throwing a fist. That Christian would need to be watched.

  She forced herself to stop thinking about that creep. The last thing she wanted on her mind as she laid out on the cot in only her bra and panties was Christian Garner. Just the thought of him made her want to cover herself . . . as if merely conjuring up the image of him could somehow cause him to see her. Tonight was going to be the last night that her and Darin could have had alone for awhile. She’d known he had fallen for her for some time and wanted to respect his need to break the fear, but she was finished waiting for him to make any kind of move forward. As she rested there, she imagined his hands on her, his breath in her face, the feeling of a rushing heart against her skin. Tickles of falling hair, the splaying of fingertips, the goosebumps caused by even the slightest caress. When Darin entered her room and slipped under the blanket beside her without saying a word, she nearly didn’t believe it. For a moment, her imagination must have created a phantom of him. The shudders inside, short breaths and the wetness of her now-exploring fingers between her thighs had created a tangible likeness of the man she loved . . . from her mind’s eye to her bed. Thank God that notion passed quickly. The heart-skips inside were hers. The exited breaths passed between them. His hands on her face. Victoria opened her mouth to speak to him. She wanted to say anything to assure herself that he was really there and that she wasn’t losing her mind. When he pressed his lips to hers and placed one hand at the small of her back, she didn’t feel from this man what she felt from any other kiss she ever had. Her loved her and wanted nothing in return but that. She could stop him . . . even make him sleep alone and he would still love her. No more sleeping alone. Not anymore. He was really here. The man that was on her mind constantly was giving her the embrace she’d waited her whole life for.

  As they kissed with their arms around each other, Victoria Rains reached behind Darin and removed her watch. She had no use for it anymore.

  V

  Everyone was still asleep when the front door was broken down. Darin Miles snapped awake and looked out the window. A sea of the dead surrounded the entire building. T
hey had entered inside and were slowly piling in. The ear-piercing pops of a machine gun rang shrill in the early morning air. Dennis Jackson emerged from the barracks with a machete in one hand and a micro SMG in the other. Ana stood behind him . . . her eyes wide and frightened. Christian was standing in the middle of the building as the dead piled in. He was spraying fire from the large gun at his hip. “We gotta get the hell outta here! The roof! The roof!” Christian screamed. He reached behind his back, where he had a grenade strapped to his belt. He flipped a little switch on it and lobbed it into the spreading mass of the rotting, marching dead. Ana looked at him strangely. She had no idea he knew how to use those things. He was even wearing one of their camouflage field jackets. Then it hit her . . . Alvin was right inside, in an officer’s office right near the front door. Alvin emerged from his closed side-office with an assault rifle in-tow. He came out shooting as the grenade blast went off. The horde of the infected were surrounding the entire area. He had no chance. In a shot of desperation, he pointed the gun at the head of one of the creatures in front of him. The bullets fired from the gun ripped through its head, sending a spray of its dark, murky blood onto Alvin’s face. He screamed and continued to blindly shoot. A stray bullet ricochet off the ceiling and missed Dennis’ head by inches before it buried itself into the drywall next to Ana’s leg. Clawing at his eyes, the sound that came out of Alvin French’s mouth was horrifying. A wet gargle replaced his high-pitched wails as his body thrashed violently, as if he were having a terrible seizure. “Dennis! He’s turning!” Christian shouted as he backed up a couple feet while spraying more machine gun fire. The masses of the deceased people groaned when the bullets hit them. Some made that odd hissing sound that sounded like the warning call of a cornered animal. A moving mass of the dead . . . their throats and lungs filled with dirt and rocks, the stench of decay hung heavily in the air; were advancing on Christian.