by Holt, Leah
Shaking my head, I raked my fingers through my hair and shut my eyes for a second. “It's nothing really, just a dumb name people used to call me when I was a kid.” Giving her a head nod, I started walking forward. “Dinner sounds good,” I said as I stepped past him and looked over my shoulder, making sure Bliss wasn't far behind.
“Wait,” he called out, “I don't have your number.”
“Don't worry, I'm not hard to find.” Giving him a smile, I faced forward and kept moving.
“What does that mean?” he yelled across the store.
“You're a smart guy, Jay, if you want to find me, you'll know where to look.”
A flutter hit my chest, making my heart skip a beat. Dinner with Jayden Henry, I would never have thought in a million years I'd agree to that.
I swore I'd never waste another breath on him. Yes, I had pushed him away, but I did it because I had to. I didn't want to, but my father didn't give me a choice.
He had to know that, there was no way he couldn't. Jayden knew how my father was, he wasn't ignorant to the fact my father held all of the control. I just never thought he'd give up on us so easily.
On my eighteenth birthday, I waited for him to show up at my door. I expected him to ride in on his white horse and whisk me away. I waited and watched for him for the next two years.
He never came back. And I tried to move on.
But now he's here, asking me out to dinner after our impulsive, stupid, lust filled moment.
Dinner means nothing, it's innocent.
Is it really?
Dinner meant being alone with him.
Dinner meant the opportunity for questions I might not want to answer.
All I could do was hope he'd never ask. . .
Chapter Fifteen
Jayden
Wow, she's a mother.
The thought moved through my head with a million other ones. She had been married, had a child, and gotten divorced all during our time apart.
The thought actually made me sad for her. She deserved better than that. I knew she always wanted a family, with four kids, and a big house. Blue had told me so many times what our future would look like.
Our future—the one she kicked me out of.
I couldn't imagine that she deviated from her plan just because I wasn't in the picture anymore. But from the sound of it, her ideal future only came partially true; she had a daughter, that was the one part that came true.
Her ass swayed side to side as she moved like a proud lioness through the store. My cock thickened just watching her cheeks jiggle, and her hips kick out as her long legs brought her further away. With an hourglass figure and curves I could lick for days, that woman set my insides on fire.
If her daughter hadn't been there, I probably would have tried to coerce her back to my car for round two.
That was a freak thing, nothing more.
Turning to take a left, Blue twisted her head in my direction. It was barely a second, but when our eyes met, it felt like time had stopped.
I could feel everything all over again. The warmth I felt in my stomach when she was near me, the prickles on my skin when she touched me, and the pain in my chest when she told me we were done.
She might not be my Blue bird right now, we might have went in separate directions, but she still had that fire sitting under the surface. I got a taste of it again the other night, and I knew it was just waiting for the right man to bring it out.
I was that man. I had always been that man.
I'll know where to find her. . . What the hell does she mean?
I wasn't sure what her life looked like anymore, or where I'd even begin. Her old house was abandoned, it didn't look like anyone had lived there in years. When we were young she talked about wanting to work as a nurse or a vet.
But that couldn't be what she meant, she said it as if I would know the answer without having to think about it. That's when it hit me, the answer was as obvious as if I held my hand up in front of my face.
Church. That has to be it.
It was the only thing that made sense, the one thing I could imagine hadn't changed in her life.
Paying for my groceries, I grabbed a cab back to my old house. Dropping the bags on the counter, I called out, “Beth? You here?” Listening for a minute, I yelled again. “Beth?”
Nothing.
Taking the cold groceries out of the bag, I went to the fridge and started putting them inside. Closing the door, I spotted a note from my sister. The note said she had gone out for a few hours to meet up with some friends and she'd be back later.
I stood listening to the silence for a minute, highly aware of how strange and out of place it felt to be back. The house creaked on its own, and I remembered being really little the first time I heard it, and thinking the house was alive.
Tipping my head, the walls popped and the floors cracked. No one was there, but that didn't matter. This house wasn't just four walls, it was generations of life that had bled for its survival.
With our father passing, the house was ours now. He hadn't left it to either one specifically, but neither of us were really sure what we wanted to do. I wanted to sell it, just rid ourselves of all the shit that came with this place.
All the yelling.
All the drunken nights.
All the forgotten birthday's and lost Christmas mornings.
Most of all, I wanted to forget the pain.
Beth wasn't so sure. This was our family's home, not just our father's. It had been in my mother's family for generations.
How do we just sell our history?
We needed to really sit down and figure it out. I wasn't planning on staying there to live in that house, neither was Beth. She was heading to college in the fall, and who knew where her life would take her after that. We could both use the money, that would make things a little easier.
Then there was this place and the history behind it all. The tiny town that had been a part of our lives forever, the home our mother grew up in, and her father, and his mother before that. It almost seemed like a sin to sell it.
Grabbing a bag of chips, I dropped down onto the couch and tried to drown myself in grease and salt. I tried to watch television, then I tried to take a nap, but nothing worked. I couldn't get Blue out of my damn head.
All I wanted to do was see her again, I wanted more, I needed more. We weren't done, no matter how much I tried to convince myself we were. The years apart didn't make me love her less, they made me love her harder.
And I didn't even know it until I saw her.
When my cock slipped into her pussy, when my mouth found hers, and my tongue found her skin, everything else disappeared. I felt good, I felt full, I felt whole.
Fuck, that girl has me in every way.
Shifting on the couch, my cock twitched as I imagined her raindrop shaped tits, and perfect hot little pussy. I fit inside her as if she was made for me. She was so wet and warm as my cock spread her wide open and filled her up.
Reaching down, I grabbed my dick through my pants, gently squeezing the tip. The blood was rushing through my shaft, making my cock throb. I wanted to fuck her again, then again, and keep fucking her until I couldn't get it up anymore.
Looking around, I made sure I was still alone. With Beth gone, and the house drenched in silence, I took out my cock and started stroking it. My dick was engorged, the tip shiny and sensitive as I thought about Blue and how it felt to be inside her again.
Moving my hand up and down, I stroked slow and steady. Closing my eyes, I pictured her big hazel eyes, and delicate lips. I could see her in my mind as clear as if she was standing right in front of me.
From base to tip, I tore down my cock, then back up again, curling around the crown and squeezing as I hit the edge. Over and over, I pumped my dick, wishing I was inside her, thinking about her body.
Resting my head back against the couch, I could feel my balls as they pulled up, getting tighter the closer I got to coming. My st
omach clenched, and my muscles tensed as I jerked my dick.
The skin on my palm was hot, the friction almost sharp as the blood caused my cock to swell. I could feel the come as it filled my length, my body wishing it could explode in Blue, and not on my hand.
Harder and faster, harder and faster, my fingers ran up and down the thick vein running underneath, as the orgasm purged my body, spewing over the top of my hand in one hot burst.
“Jayden, I'm home!”
Shooting upright on the couch, I snapped my face over my shoulder, panic in my eyes as I saw my sister.
Beth was standing in the doorway of the living room, her brows arched high in shock as her mouth fell into a firm frown. “Jayden, what the hell!?” Throwing her hand over her eyes, she twisted away. “Couldn't you do that upstairs? Fuck!” Gagging, she shook her head, not daring to look.
Looking down at myself, my dick was still in my hand, the come now spilling down my knuckles and dropping into my lap.
“Beth, your back already.” The words came out fast and frantic as I stuffed my sticky dick back into my pants. Zipping up fast, I jumped up off the couch and went into the kitchen to wash my hands. “What are you doing here?”
“Oh my God,” she said, turning her body to make sure we weren't face to face. “What the hell are you doing?”
“You weren't supposed to be home yet.” Shaking the extra water off my hands, I grabbed a paper towel and dried them off. “I thought you were going to be out late.”
“Well I'm home, so. . .” pausing, she waited for me to fill in the blank.
“You can look, it's fine.”
Removing her hand from her eyes, she glared at me. “You have a bedroom, I suggest you use it. You're not living in your bachelor pad, you can't just whip it out where ever you want to.”
“I know, I'm sorry, can we just forget it please?”
“I don't think I'm ever going to be the same again.”
Rolling my eyes, I thinned my lips. “Alright, let's be adults here.”
“Adults?” she asked, her jaw dropping open. “I thought adults yanked their wank in private?”
“Okay, enough already.” Reaching my arm out, I tried to give her a playful shove.
Holding up a hand, Beth took a big step back. “Whoa, don't touch me with that hand, I know where it's been.”
Shaking my head, I started for the stairs. “I'm going to bed, good night, Beth.”
“Don't forget to shut your door, you know that thing that separates your room from the hall, it'll be best for both of us. I think I'm traumatized now, seriously, I need therapy.”
“Ha ha, real funny. Who's the adult now?”
I heard the fridge open, and Beth's voice sounded muffled as she spoke. “I know it's not you, so that only leaves one other option.”
Closing my door, I dropped onto the bed and stared up at the ceiling. The same water stain was still right there, a giant eye staring down at me, same as when I was a kid.
I watched that water stain grow over the years, spreading outwards, slowly eating the plaster and creating dust bubbles that would burst if you even brushed them lightly.
And as I laid there, highly aware that my drive to stay away was being stifled by this growing need to have this one woman; to take her and make her feel what I already knew deep inside; we were meant for each other.
I'm not going anywhere now. I can't.
Not without my girl.
Chapter Sixteen
Blue
“Sit still, it's all most done.”
Bliss slouched in her seat, laying her head on the back of the pew. “How much longer? You said that ten minutes ago.”
Giving her a quick stink eye, I didn't answer, turning my attention back to the stage. She could wait, we were at Sunday service.
Pastor Tom's voice came out strong and loud, projecting into the sea of people. It was still strange to not see my father up there anymore. Even though he hadn't done a service in over two years, it was like my brain just couldn't fathom another person in his place.
'A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. . .'
Looking down at my bible, I read the passage he was referencing, and all I could think about was Jayden and how he had stormed into my life like an army at war. I smiled at the thought of him, I warmed from the memories, and tingled from the way his lips felt against mine.
He made me feel things no man ever had, even my ex-husband didn't have the effect on me that Jayden had. For years I excused those feelings, pretending that it was just puppy love, that it was never real love, that we were just kids looking for something more in life.
“Hey, Mom,” Bliss said, tugging on my arm. “Isn't that the guy from the other day?”
Her words were a mushed up pile of letters, all spilling into one ear and out of the other. Nodding, I touched her hand, keeping my eyes on my lap.
“Why is he looking at you like that?”
“What?” I asked, finally coming into the conversation.
“The guy from the store, he's over there.” Holding out her finger, she cautiously pointed so no one could see her.
Peeking over my left shoulder, I glanced around the faces behind me. Up each row, down each row, until I came to the very back.
He came, I can't believe he actually came.
Jayden smiled using just the corner of his mouth. Veering his stare, I could see his pupils as they twinkled, catching the light shining through the stain glass window.
Snapping my face forward, I let my hair fall against my cheek like a wall, blocking him from seeing me. Fiddling with the edge of the bible, I kept my eyes forward. It didn't matter how much my face was covered, I could feel his eyes burning a hole in the back of my head.
“Well, that's him, isn't it?”
“Yeah, that's him.”
“And who is he again? How do you know him?”
“We used to be friends a long time ago.” Looking at my daughter, I forced an uncomfortable smile, doing my best to not let her see the anxiousness simmering under the surface.
“Oh.” Slouching back down, Bliss watched her feet, tapping her toes against each other.
She didn't care who he was, she didn't pay any attention to the sweat beading up on my forehead, or the way I kept shifting in my chair and trying to look over my shoulder without actually looking.
Bliss was too young to pick up on those cues, oblivious to the underlying shakes and nervous butterflies that had started to fly around in my belly.
The service lasted about twenty more minutes—twenty, uncomfortable, nail biting, heart throbbing minutes. I couldn't focus on the pastor and what he was saying anymore. All I could do was count down the seconds, wondering what Jayden's plan was.
He never went to church, he never believed in any of this.
But he's here now. And it's not for the service.
As the service came to a close, I grabbed my daughter's hand and attempted to move through the crowd quickly. I reacted, doing my best to control the situation.
“Mom, what are you doing?” she asked, attempting to pull her hand out of mine. “Why are you dragging me this way?”
“No questions, just follow me.”
Pushing through people, I smiled and nodded, giving blessings and brief hugs. I had to act as casual and normal as possible, not drawing any attention to the panic flowing through my veins.
The last thing I needed was for someone to tell my mother—or worse—my father, that they had seen Jayden Henry.
Jayden was standing to the side, his gaze floating around the room. I knew what he was doing, he was looking for me.
Spotting me as I got closer, a thick grin spread across his face. “You weren't that hard to find,” Jayden said with a wink.
“Come with me.” Snatching him by the wrist, I had my daughter in one hand, and Jayden in the other.
“What are you doing?” he asked.
; “She's being weird, she does that sometimes.” Bliss answered for me, giving her own perception on the situation.
“She's still weird, huh? I guess I shouldn't be surprised.” Jayden smiled, biting on his lower lip as I glared at him over my shoulder.
Pushing the double doors open that exited out into the side parking lot, I pulled my daughter to my side. “Here, take the keys and go wait in the car.”
“But it's probably a million degrees in there.”
“So? Leave the door open then.”
“But—”
“Bliss,” I snapped, opening my lids wide so she knew I serious.
“Fine.” Yanking the keys out of my hand, she started to storm off towards our car. “But if I die from the heat—”
Holding up my hand, I cut her off. “Just stop, don't talk like that. Go.” Giving her a stern head nod, Bliss rolled her eyes, huffing out an annoyed breath as she continued on her way.
Waiting until she was out of ear shot, I looked at Jayden and asked, “What in the world are you doing here?”
“You told me I'd know where to find you, and you were right.” Holding out his arms, his smile broadened.
“You know what I mean, Jayden. Why would you come here where someone might recognize you? You know how my father feels about you, I don't need someone running to him to tell him about you. He has enough going on right now.”
Arching a brow, he crooked his chin. “Still? After all this time, he still hates me?”
“Yes.”
“But he's a pastor, isn't he supposed to forgive all sins or something? Why would he still hate me?”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I rubbed my forehead. “Was a pastor.”
“Was?” Scrunching his brows, he tilted his head. “I didn't think you're father would ever give up this place.”
“I don't want to get into it right now, but you can't be here. Alright?”
“Alright, that's fine. I won't come back to the church.” Pausing, Jayden took a small step in, a playful smirk teasing the corner of his lips. “So long as you have dinner with me tonight.”
