Find Me Series (Book 4): Where Hope is Lost

by Dawson, Trish Marie

  “Guess so,” he squeaked.

  “I’m guessing you need a ride back to the Ark?”

  “You’re from the Ark?” Jin asked, his interest piqued, which surprised Cole.

  Cole began to shake his head, hoping it would be enough to convince the man he was only out for a stroll, but the driver smiled at Jin and thumped his fist on the hood. “That I am. I don’t mind playing taxi, but I have a rule in my truck.”

  “A rule,” Jin repeated.

  “Yes, sir.” The burly dark-haired man turned around and stepped halfway into the cab, and stood on the step bar so he could look over the top of his door. He flipped his long coat out, exposing his gun. “Put all your weapons in the tool box. And don’t try hiding none, the guards at the gate are gonna frisk ya anyway.” With a theatrical sigh, he dropped into the cab and slammed his door shut, signaling for Cole to hurry.

  “We should run,” Cole grumbled. “But it’s no use. He’ll just chase us down.”

  Jin took a long glance back the way they’d come. “Then we take the ride.”

  Cole watched as the wind shifted the older man’s jet-black hair, and for a moment, he imagined him as the star in a kung fu movie, on the verge of kicking ass and taking names. It made him smile a little, but Jin frowned back at him, not amused by his staring. As they rounded the bed of the truck to drop their weapons inside, Jin clamored over the side and sat near the tailgate.

  “Really?” Cole asked. “You’ll freeze.”

  “I’m fine here.” Then, as an afterthought, Jin asked him, “Who is he?”

  Cole opened the passenger door and tossed his pack onto the bench seat. “Oh, this is Keel, and he’s the biggest asshole at the Ark.”

  Keel, smiling broadly into the rearview mirror, winked at Jin. “The boy’s not wrong,” he laughed.

  Damn, it was going to be a painfully long drive back to the Ark, Cole thought. Just when he’d found Riley and the others, the Ark was sucking him back in. As the truck lurched to a start and turned around, gravel spit into the air as the wheels spun. He propped his head against the window and rubbed at his face, trying to think of what he was going to say to them when they asked if he’d found Kris. Would he lie to save her? Or would he betray her to have her back? He thought he knew the answer, and hoped that he’d have a chance to talk to Jin before the two were questioned upon his return. They had to get their facts straight. And their lies. Well, mostly their lies, he thought.

  As they began to race against the direction of the forming clouds, up higher into the next mountain range where the temperature was low enough to keep the grasses on the sides of the highway frosted for most of the day, he stared at the pines that flanked the road, wishing he had stayed in his bed that morning where he knew Kris was close, and the Ark was miles away. Because that cursed place was the last thing he wanted to see. When the heat in the cab became too much, he unzipped his coat and poked his thumb on something in his front pocket. He stopped just before reaching inside to investigate, remembering the corkscrew he’d taken from the lodge. Keel would be pissed if the guards searched him and found it hidden there. But he could explain it away, he was sure. Just say he’d forgotten it was there. Or maybe they wouldn’t find it at all.

  Cole kept his coat on, but open, exposing the soft parts of his body, so he could climb out of the truck at the gate and show them he wasn’t armed, not really. If they let him in without a thorough body search, the weapon gave him leverage to escape later. He had a way out.

  Cole let his cheek fall back onto the cold glass and smiled at the pines and firs flying by them. The changing landscape held secrets the hills would never tell, but Cole had a secret, too. As he shifted in his seat and tried not to let the corkscrew burn a hole through his pocket, he realized with some surprise, that he quite liked secrets.

  Chapter Twenty-Three

  RILEY

  I woke up slowly with a splitting headache that throbbed through the center of my brain, feeling as if I’d been dropped in lava and then into the cold ocean. My wet hair was plastered to my head like a hat, and every muscle felt used and pulled. I felt like shit.

  “Where am I?” I croaked at the face that hovered near mine.

  A hand went to my forehead and then felt the pulse at my neck. After trying to move, the pain in my body multiplied by one hundred, and I let my eyes close so the light in the room didn’t burn black spots into my retinas.

  “She’s awake,” Drake said from my side.

  “Drake?”

  “Hey.” The bed dipped near my arm, and a hand went to my face again. “You had us worried,” he said.

  “I don’t feel very well.” With my eyes still closed, I stretched my neck, and marveled at its stiffness, like I hadn’t moved it in years.

  Jacks’ soft, yet masculine voice came from my other side. “Sweetie, that’s because you aren’t well,” he said with a chuckle. “But you’re getting better…don’t worry.”

  “Better?”

  “You had a fever, Riley, a bad one,” Drake said. I felt the bed shift and he leaned over me, kissing my cheek. “Jesus, you scared the shit out of me.”

  “I did?” Nothing being said made much sense. I remembered coming into Drake’s room, and as I sifted through the memories of what we did, and what we said, I cringed realizing that Jacks was sitting next to both of us. I pulled at the blanket that was draped across my midsection, but Drake pulled it back.

  “You need to stay cool. We should probably put you in a tepid bath, now that you’re awake.”

  “I don’t want a bath,” I mumbled, pulling at the damp t-shirt that clung awkwardly to my skin. “I want food.”

  “You’re hungry?” Jacks said, pushing off the bed. “That’s a good sign. I’ll get you some broth, or beans or something…okay?”

  With a nod, I opened my eyes and watched him leave the room in a rush. He spoke to someone in the hall, and the next face I saw was Connor’s. Relief drained the color from his cheeks, but he didn’t come in the room.

  “You’re okay?” he asked softly, tapping the doorframe with his fingers.

  “I think so,” I said, though my brain was close to exploding. “Head hurts…everything hurts…” I paused and brought a hand to my chest. “Especially here.”

  “But you’re awake.”

  “Why is that a surprise?” I managed to croak before triggering a cough. “How long was I out?”

  “A day and a half,” Drake answered, rubbing my knee.

  “What?” I stared at him, then Connor, who confirmed with a nod. “I slept for almost two days?”

  Connor smiled at me. “Not sure I’d call it sleeping…more like non-responsive.”

  “Shit.” Using my elbows, I tried to sit up, but the pain was too intense. I closed my eyes again, breathing in the smell of earthy tea and wet towels.

  “You still have a fever, Riley. But we can manage it.” Drake reached for the bedside table and grabbed a glass of water. “Drink what you can,” he urged.

  “Okay.”

  After he handed me the glass, and watched me sip it for over a minute, Connor cleared his throat and gestured for Drake to join him in the hall. Even though they were out of sight, I could clearly hear what Connor said.

  “You should read this,” he told Drake.

  “What is it?”

  “Jin left it.”

  After a few seconds, Drake cursed. “Stupid ass.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. Guess we’ll know soon enough.”

  “Or never.”

  Drake came back into the room, and by then I’d pulled myself upright, despite the pain in my head. “What’s happened?” I asked. When the two men didn’t answer, I swung a leg out of the bed, determined to find Jin and ask him myself.

  “Wait,” Drake warned. “You should stay put.” Connor stepped into the room, but didn’t come near me. Like he was afraid to get too close.

  “He’s not here,” he finally said after I’d used up half my energy to glare at him.<
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  “Where is he?”

  “He left early this morning. To get you medicine.”

  I blinked at Connor. “Where’d he go?”

  “The note doesn’t say.” He handed it to me, but the words melted into an inky blur, and I pushed it away, unable to focus on the letters long enough to read them.

  “He took off by himself?”

  “Well, I don’t think so. Cole’s not here either. I doubt he’d run off and leave Kris behind, so my guess is Jin took him with.”

  “Good,” Drake grumbled, taking his place on the edge of the bed again. “Little punk gives me the creeps.”

  “He’s just a kid, he’s harmless,” I blurted. The admission shocked even me, and I rubbed at my fever-flushed face, hoping it would erase the statement from not only my memory, but Drake and Connor’s as well. I didn’t like Cole. I told myself that I never would. That’s the way it had to be.

  Zoey trotted into the room and jumped onto my feet, snuggling against my leg. “When did you find a soft spot in your heart for Cole?” Kris asked from the doorway. Connor turned around and gave her a nod.

  “I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” he said over his shoulder. Then, with a smile, he looked at me. “Really glad you’re better.”

  After he left, I blinked at the space where he’d stood, like I had imagined the whole awkward conversation we’d had. He wasn’t acting like the Connor I knew at all. His distance was alarming. When Drake got up to get the bath ready, I grabbed for his arm, ignoring Kris’ downcast eyes.

  “What happened between you two?”

  He shook his head. “It’s a long story, Riley.”

  “Do I look busy? I’m not going anywhere.”

  “I hope not.” With a quick kiss, he vanished into the bathroom to prepare the tub, then left me and Kris alone in the room while he went to get hot water from downstairs.

  “It’s like Twilight Zone on Snowy Mountain around here,” I joked.

  “Seriously.”

  She took a seat beside me and fluffed her pillow, but I noticed her wincing as she moved. “You okay?”

  “No worse than any other day,” she grumbled. The pale shade of her cheeks matched the ivory of the sheets. She seemed worse than the last time I saw her, and less than eager to talk about it.

  “I’m sorry about all this,” I said with a sigh, resting back into my own pillow.

  We stayed in the bed, her, me, and the dog, listening to the late morning life of the ski lodge. Lily squawked loudly, and the sound of talking drifted from the stairway to the lower level and out of earshot. The walls settled with soft groans and squeaks, and a gentle breeze pushed against the bedroom window, reminding us that nature was outside, always waiting.

  “I’m tired of this place,” Kris complained. She rolled onto her side and pulled the covers over her feet.

  “You and me both.”

  “Are we leaving soon?”

  “I sure hope so.”

  We listened to the impatient wind as it rattled under the roof eaves and gradually died there, and I wondered how far that particular gust had traveled before crashing into the lodge. One mile? One hundred miles? Did it have a story, that breeze? Had it touched the cold-chaffed face of another traveler, lost on the road, before twirling and spinning up high above the trees, to give the birds a boost before it fell into the valley and ran smack into the lodge? Maybe it had a lover, and the two winds lived an entire life dancing together through the woods, and when one finally perished, the other threw itself at the first structure it could find to end its misery. Or, perhaps it had just been born, right outside in the valley, and died before going anywhere.

  “Whatcha thinking about?” Kris asked.

  “The wind.”

  “Really?” She laughed, and then looked outside. “It’s mild out…I can barely hear anything.”

  “That’s because it died,” I whispered, stroking the dog’s ear. “Right outside the window…”

  “Exactly how much of Jin’s tea have you had today?” Kris asked.

  “Not enough,” Drake answered for me. He came into the room with two hot buckets and took them straight to the bath. I listened to the sound of the water as it sloshed into the tub, and watched him walk back through the room, smiling sweetly at me over his shoulder.

  “I thought the point was to lower my temperature, not raise it,” I said to his back as he stepped into the bright hall.

  “I’m getting one more round of hot water…the rest will be nice and snow-cold for ya,” he hollered.

  “Great. Can’t wait,” I mumbled. “Kris…help me up, will ya?”

  She slid off her side of the bed and came around to mine, helping me stand and wait out the drowsiness from my light head. “You good?” she asked, as I began to make my way to the bathroom.

  “Yep. Go relax for a bit…take care of you.” I tried to smile, but it was hard to walk. My legs weighed about one thousand pounds each and my head wouldn’t stop pounding.

  “I’m bored,” she answered, waiting awkwardly by the bed. “I seriously have nothing to do.”

  “No toes to paint? No books to read?” I chuckled over my shoulder. Using the doorframe to hold me up, I gave her a nod. “Go rest, I’ll find you later.”

  “Fine,” she muttered, kicking at the carpet and patting her leg for the dog to follow, but Zoey didn’t. She jumped off the bed and sat down at my feet.

  “It’s okay, Zoey. Go with Kris.”

  She hoofed once, then stretched out along the wall, wagging her tail against it with soft thumps. With a shrug, I gave Kris a tired smile and a wave, and watched her leave the room.

  The bathroom was cold, except for the small space of air just above the one inch of water in the tub. I cut my hand through the steam, which was quickly fading away, and sat down on the toilet seat, waiting for Drake to return with more water. The bath seemed like too much effort but he wouldn’t leave me alone if I didn’t get in. With a tug, I pulled off the loose shirt he’d put on me while I’d been passed out, and draped it across the dry sink. Thankfully, he’d also dressed me in a pair of his boxer briefs, so I slipped free from those and set them on top of the shirt. After I stood and wrapped a scratchy towel around my , I stepped into the water, which was only slightly warmer than my body temperature, and leaned against the wall, staring out the small window at the still day. Not a bird in the sky, not an animal in the trees.

  “You decent?”

  I turned around expecting to see Kris standing in the doorway, but it was Ashlyn, clad in leggings, faux fur boots, and an oversized sweater. She held a tray in her hands, and set it down on the sink, directly over my clothes. We stood just a few feet from each other, and she appeared unfazed by me being half-naked.

  “Well, not really,” I answered, tightening the towel in my grip.

  She waved a hand at me. “Please, it’s not like we don’t have the same body parts, right?” When she laughed, I stared at her, waiting for her odd presence in the bathroom to be a fever-induced hallucination, but every time I blinked, she was still there, standing with her hands on her hips, staring at me with large brown eyes the color of fresh dog shit.

  “Uh, thanks for the food.” I nodded at the tray, and the bowl of soupy liquid sitting in the center of it.

  “I hope you’re hungry, I made it especially for you,” she quipped. She turned to leave, then spun on her heels to face me, and clapped her hands together like a small child on Christmas morning. “Oh, and the coffee is especially for you, too.”

  “What’s special about it?” I eyed the black drink.

  “It’s super sweet,” she said, beaming. Then she was gone, just as quickly as she’d come in.

  As I reached for the coffee, Drake came in with a second set of hot buckets. “What did Ashlyn want?” he asked, setting them down inside the doorway. “Wait…don’t.” My fingers had just touched the rim of the mug when he lurched forward and snatched the tray away so carelessly that soup sloshed out of th
e bowl. “Did she bring this to you? Damn! Don’t take anything from her!” With the tray propped on one hip, he walked to the window, opened it, and threw the contents of the bowl and then the coffee outside.

  “Are you crazy?”

  “Don’t trust anything that comes out of that woman’s mouth, or from her hands,” he mumbled.

  “Why? What the hell kind of soup did she make?”

  “Let’s not find out the hard way,” he said, setting the tray back down on the sink with a loud sigh.

  “You’re scaring me.” I laughed to cover up the nervous undertone of my voice, but it wasn’t enough to keep my knees from knocking together.

  “Let’s just say that Ashlyn is a bit more complicated than she looks. And she’s not your friend.”

  “Well, she seems to be awfully close to Connor, doesn’t she?”

  His eyes burned into me, then fell to the floor. As he dumped the buckets into the bath, he gestured for me to sit. “I don’t know how much I should tell you,” he began, chewing on the inside corner of his lower lip.

  “Well,” I said, sitting with a plop in the water and draping the towel over my shoulders. “How about you tell me everything, because now you need to.”

  “Fuck,” he groaned. I stared hard at him, and waited a full minute for him to readjust his clothes, his posture, his face, till he started talking again. “I think what’s happening between Connor and her is more blackmail than reality.”

  “What’s that mean?” The water began to chill around me.

  “He told me…damn. He told me that he’s afraid of her, of what she might do to the rest of us.”

  “Why?”

  “Because she’s a crazy bitch, Riley. She’s trying to get her hooks into all of us, Jacks included. Connor shut her down, and I guess she threatened him.”

  “How?”

  “I didn’t ask. But it’s clear she has a motive, and I don’t think you being here is part of her plan.”

  “So, she’s threatened by me? I barely know her.”