Find Me Series (Book 4): Where Hope is Lost

by Dawson, Trish Marie

  With a nervous laugh, I pointed a finger at him. “If this was a horror flick, you’d have just signed your death warrant.”

  “Who said this wasn’t a horror flick?” With a little shrug, he blew me a kiss and walked into the hall, turning in the direction of his room.

  I counted to ten at least three times before I heard Drake’s boots come up the stairs. By the time he reached the doorway, my face was dry, my breathing was as regulated as it was going to be from my cough, and I was sitting cross-legged in the center of the bed, braiding my hair.

  He leaned into the room and visually inspected the space. “Is he in here?”

  With a shake of my head, I gestured with my elbow toward the hall. “He’s in his room, I think.”

  Drake entered slowly, as if the floor hid tripwires and mines. “Did you…talk?”

  I nodded.

  “And you both said what needed to be said?”

  Again, I nodded, but my eyes lost focus on his face, and I let them fall to the floral print on the bedspread.

  “So, it didn’t go well,” he whispered, reaching the bed and pressing his legs into the mattress.

  “It went as well as expected.” I cleared my throat and wrapped one of Kris’ hair ties around the bottom of the braid, then flipped it onto my back. “And your walk…how did that go?”

  We kept our voices low, but Drake told me Ashlyn was downstairs, talking with Kris in the kitchen about what to make for dinner. Soup. Canned vegetables. Beans. We had quite the menu.

  “I’m tired,” I said after our brief chat. “I think I’m going to take a nap, okay?”

  He kissed my forehead, then placed the back of his hand on my skin. “You feel better,” he said with a smile. “Get some sleep, I’ll bring up something to eat…something Ashlyn hasn’t touched.”

  Though I let him kiss me, and I smiled for him, I didn’t feel better, I felt worse. A thousand times worse. But not from the fever. The pain I had as he left the room came from a place deep inside my heart. A place I had reserved for Connor. A place that had become dark and lonely and forever broken.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  COLE

  When the truck stopped at the front gate, and Keel hopped out of the cab to greet a guard Cole didn’t recognize, he tried to regulate his breathing by counting backwards from one hundred. When he hit eighty-four, the guard waved him out of the truck, and Cole’s palms began to sweat. Jin had also jumped out and stood at the rear of the vehicle, scanning the tree-covered hills that surrounded the Ark’s property.

  “They just need to search us, then we’ll be good to go in,” Cole muttered to Jin.

  “Fine.”

  Jin wasn’t nervous, not even a little, but Cole noticed he was impatient. “Should only take a minute,” he added.

  Jin glared hard at him, and said nothing, so Cole left his side of the truck and joined Keel and the guard. As if annoyed, he lifted his arms and let the guard pat his body down inside his coat, and then Cole bunched the coat up in his hands to give the guard a clear line of sight of his waist as he turned in a circle. When the guard nodded and moved on to Jin, Cole’s mouth almost flew open from surprise. The man hadn’t bothered to check any of his pockets.

  The wind was beginning to pick up, and it tossed Jin’s long hair around like an angry black storm cloud, and Cole tried not to laugh as the hair repeatedly stung Jin in the eyes. He was searched, much like Cole was, and then the guard gave Keel a nod and returned to the small box that served as a lookout station by the gate entrance. He was heavily armed with a handgun and an automatic rifle, of which Cole had no name for, and he was bundled up in several layers of clothing, most likely expecting to be at his station overnight. Sneaking out through the front gate would not be the best option, he told himself.

  “Now?” Jin asked at his side, rearranging his clothing that had been un-tucked and lifted during the search.

  “Now, we go in. See about getting Riley some medicine.”

  Keel froze with his hand on the hood of the truck and gaped at Cole. “You’re with Riley?” he hissed.

  Cole knew the moment he said her name that he’d messed up. His eyes darted from a startled Keel to Jin, who was clenching his jaw so hard that the muscles visibly twitched under his skin. When Cole opened his mouth to correct his words, Keel jerked a hand toward the cab and told him to shut up and get in.

  “Both of you,” he ordered.

  Jin narrowed his eyes, but climbed into the truck after Cole. It left him very little wiggle room next to Keel, who seemed on the verge of punching his face in. The moment the driver door closed, and he turned the engine over, a barrage of questions was thrown his way.

  “Where is she? Is she okay…the others, how about them? What the hell are you doing here? It’s not safe, don’t you get that? Don’t mention her name, got it, don’t tell them you’re with her, okay?”

  Cole let out a long gust of air and looked to Jin for help. The man, who had yet to lose his cool in front of Cole, casually cleared his throat and placed a hand on the dash as the truck lurched over several potholes in the road.

  “We came for medicine, that’s all,” Jin said coolly.

  When Keel glanced at him, he elbowed Cole in the side hard enough to hurt. “Who’s this guy, huh? Your bodyguard?”

  Jin snorted and Cole felt the color drain from his cheeks. “No…he…he’s part of the group now, I guess.”

  It was Jin’s turn to elbow him, though it was subtle and didn’t hurt. Keel slapped a hand on the steering wheel and laughed. “I knew it. I knew that girl was still alive out there. Damn.”

  “She’s not a girl,” Jin corrected, staring out the window. They passed by the Tank, and Cole stiffened in his seat.

  “You’re breaking protocol,” he said to Keel.

  “Why would I lock you up for no reason? We don’t do that no more,” he grumbled.

  “You aren’t detoxing new members?” Cole asked, surprised.

  “Haven’t had to. The snow either killed most of the people out on the road, or they’re all holed up somewhere, avoiding this place. Like they should,” Keel said.

  As he drove, he fidgeted with the string that was wrapped around the wheel, and slowed to a stop behind the main building. He waited for Jin to look around before opening his door. Once the three of them were out of the vehicle, Keel flipped the collar of his coat up to block the wind from his neck.

  “Where are you taking us?” Jin asked. He hadn’t moved since exiting the truck, and stood with his hands in his pockets, waiting.

  “Inside, for starters. It’s fucking cold as hell out here,” Keel complained, leading the way around the building.

  “Hell’s supposed to be hot,” Cole corrected. He choked a laugh back down his throat when Keel turned around and stared at him. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

  As they rounded the building, the wind struck them viciously from the east. “Shit,” Cole gasped, struggling to close the front of his coat.

  “What happened there?” Jin stopped to stare at the large heap of blackened wood and twisted metal piled over a large slab of concrete.

  “Oh, that. Your friends did that before they took off,” Keel said with a wink. “Burned the community hall down to the foundation. Best bonfire this place has ever seen.”

  “Anyone injured?” Jin pressed.

  “Not anyone important.”

  “Except for you,” Cole corrected.

  Keel shrugged. “I wasn’t anywhere near that blaze. But it was a shitty night, I won’t lie.”

  Jin remained standing in place, scanning the location before sending a questioning look Keel’s way. “He was shot, like a dozen times during the escape. Almost died. I thought he would, honestly,” Cole stated.

  “I should have. Took two bullets to the chest and one in the side. Not a dozen. I’m tough, but not that tough, kid,” Keel said, ruffling Cole’s hair. He pushed Keel’s hand away and jammed his own into his pockets for warmth.

  “I
don’t understand,” Jin said. “Which side were you on?”

  “Me?” Keel asked. “I’m on my own damn side, man.” He dropped his voice, so the wind didn’t carry it down the front of the building, and tucked his chin into his coat. “I did what I needed to do to stay alive, like you’re going to do. No mention of the group, no mention of Riley. Got that?”

  Cole and Jin nodded, and fell in step behind Keel as he crunched through the frozen grass and opened the double doors of the main building, ushering them inside. Immediately, Cole was blasted in the face by warm air.

  The first thing he noticed, aside from the heated interior of the building, was a heavy scent in the air. Fresh and sappy. He turned, following the glow of lights from his right and blinked at the massive fir tree in the far corner, covered from top to bottom in multi-colored lights. It was decked out with shiny ornaments and yards of ribbon, too.

  “Wow,” he said under his breath, staring at the display. “Is it Christmas time?”

  Keel ignored him and approached the empty front desk. He lifted the phone receiver and pressed a button, and moments later had the Ark’s doctor on the line. When he hung up, Cole was standing in the same place, mesmerized by the tree, lost in memories of his childhood, not that far away, when he would see the tree go up in the living room the day after Thanksgiving. His mother would work all day, fluffing the artificial tree out, then weaving the lights through the branches, using him as a helper. A lump filled his throat and he coughed to dislodge it.

  “He’s in the back,” Keel said. When Cole didn’t respond, Jin nudged him on the shoulder.

  “Oh, right,” he said with another cough. “Let’s go, then.”

  Christmas had been his most favorite time of the year as a kid. The lights, the presents, the days spent eating pies and cookies, but he mostly remembered it being the only time of year both his parents were home, and willing to give him attention. He hadn’t felt that sort of love since they had died, not that they were the most loving of parents, but still, he missed them.

  “Today, kid,” Keel snapped.

  Cole, efficiently pulled out of his nostalgic moment, followed Keel around the desk and down the hall, turning into the small room that served as Dr. Steele’s office. The man, short and lean, with a full head of grey hair, turned around on his stool, and pushed his glasses down his nose to peer over the rim at them.

  “Keel,” he said with a curt nod. “And Cole, is it?” He made no move to get out of his chair, but signaled for them to come into the small space. Jin stayed in the doorway and Keel leaned against the exam table, which was partially covered with boxes of gauze and other random medical supplies. The room had a faint whiff of antiseptic to it, but also something spicy. Like cinnamon candy.

  “Yes, sir. Cole,” he mumbled, sniffing the air for the out-of-place sweet smell.

  “What can I do for you boys today?”

  Cole thought it odd that the doctor never asked for Jin’s name. Perhaps he didn’t care to be bothered with it. “Uh, we need medicine, for a cough,” he answered, shooting Jin a glance.

  “A cough? Who’s the patient?” Doctor Steele asked, spinning his chair back toward his desk, where he pushed aside a stack of notes for a pad of paper. When no one answered right away, Steele glanced up from his notepad and stared at each of them over his glasses again. “The patient?” he repeated.

  “The patient’s not here,” Jin answered. “But I can describe the symptoms.”

  The doctor laughed once, then let his face fall back into its previous scowl. “That wasn’t a joke.”

  “No.”

  “Keel, does Dinnley know you’re here?” Steele asked.

  Before he answered, Keel pushed off the exam table and folded his arms. “Nope.”

  “So, what is this…a request for a favor?” the doctor pressed.

  “Nah,” Keel said, sucking something invisible out of his teeth. “I’m the one cashing in a favor. I’m sure I don’t need to tell you what for.”

  Steele’s eyes burned into Keel, hot and accusatory, but he nodded quickly. “Fine. Tell me the symptoms.”

  Cole opened his mouth to answer, but Jin stepped into the room and spent five minutes explaining the sound of Riley’s cough to the doctor, how long she had it, the fever that accompanied it, and every other little tidbit of info he felt pertinent to her treatment. Once he finished, the doctor scratched at the side of his jaw.

  “I should see this patient. Could be pneumonia, could be bronchitis. Fact remains, I can’t treat the patient unless I know exactly what the ailment is. Might need to do an x-ray, and run some tests.”

  The room fell silent and Cole shifted uneasily on his feet. “Can you treat them the same way?” he asked.

  The doctor shook his head. “Well, that’s the thing. Is this bacterial or viral? Some rest, an inhaler and good old-fashioned acetaminophen or flu medication could help with one. The other could require antibiotics. I can’t make that determination alone just by word of mouth.”

  “We can’t bring the patient to you,” Jin stated.

  After another long pause, Steele dropped his hand into his lap. “Well, I can’t just hand out antibiotics like candy. This is most likely bacterial in nature, but to be safe, a few days of antibiotics can be given.”

  Cole felt as if a weight had fallen off his shoulders. He swayed, bumping into Jin, who frowned at him and pushed him upright.

  “Give me a few minutes to put some things together. Wait out in the lobby, will you?” Steele said. He stood and followed them to the hall, then went the opposite direction, toward the supply room.

  “Can we trust him?” Jin asked as they made their way back to the lobby.

  “You have no other choice, do you?” Keel pointed out.

  He was right. They were out of choices, but Cole couldn’t help but feel as if something wasn’t right. The request for meds was too easily met. His unease multiplied by one hundred when the five-minute wait turned into ten, then twenty.

  “He’s not coming back,” Cole finally said. He paced from one end of the lobby to the other, reaching out and touching the Christmas tree before each return toward the desk. “He’s on to us…he called security.”

  “Why would he do that, Cole?” Keel snapped. “I’m the head of security.”

  “Well, what’s taking him so long?”

  As if he heard them, Steele came wobbling down the hall, a bag in one hand, a white box in another. He set both on the lobby desk and pushed his glasses back into place.

  “Shit, Doc. Thought you got lost back there,” Keel joked. The doctor didn’t smile.

  “Seems someone’s already helped themselves to a few things, I had to put a call in to Dinnley,” he grumbled back.

  “Dinnley’s on his way?” Keel asked, glancing over his shoulder to look out the double doors.

  “Relax, boy. He’s still upstairs, playing master of the castle in a well heated room with fuzzy slippers on his feet, smoking from a pipe while playing a game of Monopoly.”

  “Really?” Cole balked.

  Steele chuckled. “No, Cole. He is upstairs, but it’s me who wants to retreat to my room and put on my shearling-lined Venetians and take a few puffs off the pipe.”

  “Oh,” he said, embarrassed.

  He stood aside and listened as the doctor explained to Jin what he’d put in the bag, and how to use each item, and when, if at all, it was necessary to bring the patient in to see him. He then rifled through the box.

  “There’s a portable nebulizer in here, with a few units of medication. Follow the instructions inside, and it should help open up the airway to make breathing less labored,” Steele explained.

  Cole reached out and touched the box, folding it closed. “Wow, thanks!”

  “Don’t thank me until your friend is well. And Keel, a moment?” He stepped behind the counter and waited as Cole grabbed the box and met Jin by the door. They were out of earshot, but Cole didn’t miss the quick glances from the doctor and Ke
el in his direction.

  When Keel finally joined them, they went out the same way they had come in, and rounded the building in higher spirits. Even Jin cracked a smile or two as they climbed back into Keel’s truck, but he didn’t return to the main road. He went straight, over the snow-covered stretch of land that dipped down to the Ark’s makeshift cemetery. When he didn’t change course, and continued along the bumpy path that circled the property, Cole became twitchy.

  “Where are you going?” he asked, when Jin didn’t.

  “Another way out, unless you want the front guard’s blood on your hands.”

  Cole felt insulted and tilted his chin up. “I can handle one guard.”

  Jin snorted at the window. “Your hands have never seen blood before.”

  This was true, but Cole didn’t want them to think of him as a helpless kid, so he argued until the point was beyond relevant, and the trail turned into a mushy slip and slide. Cole had to set the medical box down between his feet and hold onto the dash as Keel struggled to keep the truck going in a forward direction. Even as they slid off the trail and banged into branches, Keel never lost his manic bad-boy grin.

  KEEL

  With every dip and lurch the truck took over the poorly maintained service road that ran parallel with Lou’s place, Keel felt a spike in adrenaline rush through him. He’d been doing the Ark’s bidding for long enough, and now, with the realization that another group was surviving the winter outside of his current prison walls, he had what he needed, a reason to leave. No more errands. No more guard duty. No more Ark.

  The kid must have thought him crazy, the way he laughed every time the truck tires spun into the embankment on the right side of the road, but he wasn’t crazy, Keel was relieved. He’d racked up enough favors in the place to get what he wanted from every senior member of the Ark, including their resident pilot. He’d already cashed in a favor with the doc, and as they neared the partially hidden metal gate that cut through Lou’s neck of the woods, Keel hoped it wouldn’t take much to keep the older man from covering for him, even if it was just for a few hours.