NSFW

by Piper Lawson

  “You know, I’d love to introduce you to them.”

  23

  Dr. Thatcher’s a Buffoon

  “You going to tell me where we’re going?”

  “And ruin the fun of keeping Mr. I Know Everything in suspense? No way.”

  I shifted into the passenger seat of Avery’s Jeep. My black cigarette pants and flats had replaced my skirt and heels. I’d pulled on a headband that pushed my crazy hair back off my face.

  Being out in the daylight with him felt different. Good.

  He handled the Jeep easily, and I snuck looks at him in between calling out directions to get us through the last of the rush hour traffic.

  “Why do you even have this car?”

  “What, I’m not the rugged outdoors type?” he deadpanned. I slid down my sunglasses to take in his close shave, the slick haircut. The easy elegance in his mint green shirt, cuffs still buttoned from the workday.

  “Nope.”

  “I lost a bet.”

  “Seriously?” I glanced at the Jeep. “It’s not that bad.”

  “It used to be pink.” The car pulled to a stop, and Avery looked over.

  I managed to stop laughing long enough to ask, “Why was it pink?”

  “The guys in law school used to call me Ken. Like Ken and Barbie. Kenna thought it was hilarious. During the time I was looking for a car, we were drunk and made a bet. I lost, so I got the Barbie Jeep.”

  “How long did you drive it for before painting it?”

  “A year. Those were the terms. It’s hard to get out of bets with lawyers.”

  “I can imagine.” I shifted back in my seat, the grin seemingly etched on my face.

  Avery cut the engine, cocking his head to look out the window. “You sure we’re in the right place?”

  “Absolutely.” I slid out of the car and rounded the hood, starting for the front doors. We passed a woman sitting on the bench and knitting, in her own world.

  “Hi, Tricia.”

  She didn’t respond. I held the door for Avery, and, with a raised brow, he went inside.

  “What are we doing here?”

  “I’m putting you to work, boss.”

  Our strangely happy bubble burst when the man in chinos and a pressed shirt stopped in front of us.

  “Charlie.”

  “Dr. Thatcher. Daniel.”

  Dr. Thatcher glanced between me and Avery, his brown gaze assessing. He held his tablet between his body and ours like a shield. “How’ve you been?”

  “Good.”

  He shook his head, like he suddenly remembered manners his mom had taught him a long time ago. He held out a hand to Avery. “Daniel Thatcher. Doctor Daniel Thatcher.”

  Avery glanced between us, his expression hardening. “Avery Banks.”

  It was the most awkward silence since the time I’d walked in on a full guys’ bathroom at Tilt because I didn’t want to wait for the ladies’. I opened my mouth, but Dr. Thatcher shook his head.

  “Well, I’m late for rounds. Your grandmother’s blood pressure has been up. We’ll keep an eye on it.”

  “OK. Thanks, Dr. Thatcher.”

  He continued down the hall, his steps seeming more hurried than before.

  “Did you date that guy?”

  “No. He did ask me out.”

  “And you said…”

  “I prefer to drink alone.”

  “That’s my girl.”

  Avery followed me toward the recreation room. I stopped to pull the bin out of the cupboard in the corner. I set out the props on the piano at the front and went to the sound system.

  My usuals were trickling in, but for one. I’d have to see my Grams after.

  “You guys better be on your best behavior—yes, that means no f-bombs—because I have a special assistant today and I don’t want you to scare him away.”

  Avery’s mouth twitched at the corner as I turned to set up the record player.

  “He’s new to dancing, but as you can see, he’s cute. So cut him some slack.” Micheal Buble’s “Haven’t Met You Yet” flowed from the speakers.

  “OK. Foxtrot, people. Slow, slow…quick, quick.” I got the couples set up, and because most of them knew this one, it wasn’t long before I turned to Avery. “You dance, boss?”

  “No. And I didn’t know you did.”

  Dancing was a place I never felt self-conscious, but today I did as I placed his hand on my back. I coaxed the other to extend at his side, then rested my hand in his.

  “This is your frame. Don’t crush my hand. Pretend there’s a bird between your hand and mine and we need to keep it alive.”

  I showed him one step, two. He followed, fast and confident. “Good.”

  “You think you and me could keep a living creature alive?” he smirked.

  “You already have Charlie.”

  “A dog is one thing. Kids, on the other hand…”

  I glanced up at him, surprised. “You want children?”

  “I like children. And I like the idea of having someone that’s part of me, and someone I respect.” The way he looked at me had me tingling. “But I don’t like relationships.”

  “That is a problem.”

  Avery’s fingers tightened on mine. “Relationships are built on dependence. Someone has the strength. And someone wants it. It can swing like a pendulum. But someone’s always winning and someone’s always losing.”

  I didn’t have a response for that so focused on what we were doing. “OK. Now shuffle to the side… Again.” We did a few basic steps, adding in the movement across the floor.

  “You sure you haven’t done this before?” I asked, suspicious.

  “Once. Kenna broke up with her boyfriend right before prom. She went through a phase for a few days where she wanted me to take her. I told her she couldn’t possibly want to be seen with her brother, but she insisted.”

  He shook his head, like he was remembering it.

  “So I learned. YouTube—I wasn’t about to humiliate myself in front of a class. But they got back together the day before prom, and thankfully I never had to use it.”

  My heart squeezed. “That’s sweet. I had no idea you were such a sap.”

  A flash of color caught my eye. “Grams!” I stepped out of Avery’s arms and wove between couples to my grandmother.

  “Charlie, dear, don’t let me stop you. My bowels were clearing up so I thought I’d come and say hello.” She eyed up Avery. “Who’s this handsome brute?”

  Avery looked between us before extending his hand. My grandmother held out hers, and he surprised both of us by lifting it to his lips.

  I stifled a snort, but Grams cut a look at me. “I want this one.”

  “Let me train him up first.”

  She settled into a stool in the corner while I took Avery back.

  “You brought me to meet your grandmother?”

  “Don’t flatter yourself.” My body moved easily, and I could’ve done it in my sleep.

  We turned a few more times, me keeping an eye on the others over his shoulder. But mostly I was enjoying the feel of his touch, the strength of his body. I’d never danced with someone I’d been with before, and it was different. Good different.

  “Charlie, don’t hog the man.”

  The spell broke and I snuck a look over my shoulder. “You got it, Grams.” I turned to Avery. “Go easy on her,” I murmured. “She’s not as spry as she looks. She shouldn’t be dancing, and…”

  “Charlotte. I know.” His expression put me at ease.

  “I can hear you,” Grams said. “Just because you’re going to go easy on me, Avery, doesn’t mean I’ll extend the same courtesy to you.”

  He flashed me a pleased grin before taking her hands and moving her across the floor. Slowly. Gently. But with every ounce of his usual charisma, as I watched them fall into easy conversation.

  I grabbed a feather boa from the box of props and draped it around my shoulders, playing with the fluffy ends. I watched them for a
moment, my heart doing a funny twitchy thing.

  Seeing him with Grams made me wonder if I’d been wrong about a lot of things. He wasn’t the kind of guy I could see myself with. He was too educated. Too arrogant. Too hard.

  Everything about him was hard.

  Except being with him.

  The end of the record startled me out of my daydream. “That’s all for now, guys.” I walked them out, saying goodbye to each of them and teasing them along the way. “Grams, let me walk you back. You weren’t supposed to dance today. Dr. Thatcher wanted you to take it easy.”

  “Dr. Thatcher’s a buffoon. Could you go get my walker please?” She sent a faint smile Avery’s way. “Thank you, Avery.”

  I watched him retrieve it. It was sweet seeing my grandmother tell him what to do. As if her errand wasn’t solely for the purpose of getting him out of earshot.

  “Next weekend we’re going to New York,” I promised. “You and me. We’ll relive the glory days.”

  She patted my hand. “Your glory days are still ahead, Charlie. Mark my words.” She threw a meaningful look at Avery before he returned.

  We walked her to her room before returning to clean up the props.

  “She’s quite the force.” Avery slid the record we’d been playing back into its case.

  I put the props we’d been using back in the bin. “She had my mom late in life. When most of her friends were getting married and having kids, she decided she wanted to be a Rockette. No one told her she couldn’t do what she wanted.”

  “Kind of like you.” His face lit up as he went to put the record back in with the others. His fingers grabbed the edge of a new cover, lifted it out. “Dean Martin. From the original Ocean’s Eleven.” He held up “Ain’t that a Kick in the Head.”

  A smile pulled across my face and I nodded.

  He set the needle on the record. The smooth voice chirped out and filled the room that was now empty except for us, stacks of chairs in the corner, and the bins of props on a table.

  Avery held out his arms as he raised a brow. “Who, me?” I teased as I stepped into them.

  I peered up at him. It felt different being here alone with him. More intimate.

  “You’re good,” he decided under his breath. “How old were you when you started?”

  “Twelve. My mom wanted me to do this local pageant. I thought it was dumb, but my cousin was doing it too and she seemed so excited. So I said yes.” I snorted. “I would’ve rather been fishing in our pond. But my mom bought me a dress, shoes, everything. I took dance lessons. Practiced at night in my room. Long after everyone went to bed.”

  “And did it pay off?”

  I cocked my head. “Well, the day of the pageant, my cousin’s dog had ripped into her dress. We were the same size and without asking, my mom gave her mine instead. I mean, she was a great singer. She actually won, so I told myself it was a worthwhile sacrifice.”

  “A mature response to a difficult situation.”

  His hands were warm on mine as he pulled me around the floor.

  “Well, the next day I broke into her room during my aunt’s barbecue and stole her trophy.” His mouth twitched. “No one would’ve known, except one of my brothers caught it fishing off the dock in the pond the next summer.”

  “That’s the Charlotte I know.” His smile faded. “The man. The married one. Was that a prank too?”

  Being honest was risky. But in the moment, looking up into his earnest expression, I didn’t have it in me to lie.

  “Derek was a teacher. Not at my school,” I went on as his body stiffened, “but the ladies at church group still ate the scandal up like finger sandwiches.”

  I caught sight of us in a mirror by the door and lifted my chin, stretched through the top of my head. Habit.

  “I wish I could say I did it to piss off my mom, though it definitely did that. I was never the best at anything. Never the smartest, or the funniest. Not the most artistic. Looking back, I think the affair and me dropping out of school was the cherry on top of a double fudge sundae of disappointment I’d dished up for her.

  “I was eighteen. Hungry for attention. Validation. Excitement. Derek was there. He told me I was beautiful. Special. That I should be loved.

  “I shut out everyone for him. My family. My friends. Anyone who said it was a bad idea. Every step brought me closer to him, cut me off further from everyone else. I can remember the day I found out I was pregnant. It should’ve been the last straw but it gave me hope. Hope that this, finally, would make it worthwhile. He told me he’d take care of me.”

  We’d stopped moving. I glanced past Avery’s shoulder at the record player. Dean was still crooning from the speaker, but the air felt thick.

  “I’m sorry.” My smile felt like it was made of tissue paper. Fragile and tentative. “This got heavy fast.”

  Avery’s face gave me confidence. “It’s OK,” he murmured, pulling me closer, his hand tightening on mine. “I want to know.”

  I took a breath. “I didn’t bank on him being married. He said they were separated, which wasn’t exactly true. I decided to leave home and Derek promised to follow me. I waited years for him. Long after the miscarriage that should’ve been a relief. Wrote to him every day, even after his phone number changed.”

  I cocked my head.

  “Come on. I know you’re dying to say something. Like how you never would’ve gotten pulled in by that shit.”

  “No, I don’t think I would’ve gotten seduced by a tall, dark, and studly teacher,” he deadpanned. My throat felt too tight to laugh, but I appreciated the effort. “Charlotte, how you grew up is none of my business. But I reserve the right to hate him anyway.”

  The song finished.

  “Thank you for that,” I said, stepping out of his arms and crossing to the record player. “I wasn’t an innocent bystander, though. All the guys in my school paled in comparison to Derek. He was older. Experienced. Interesting. And he wanted me. It felt so good to be wanted.”

  I put the record away, then carried the box of records to the shelf in the corner.

  When I turned back, Avery was standing next to the record player, studying me.

  “It still hurts,” I went on, “looking back, the bridges I’ve burned. But maybe some good has come from it. I needed my grandparents, and they were there for me. Now I can be there for them. It is nice being leaned on sometimes.”

  I spanned the distance between us, stopping just in front of him.

  “It’s a lot of pressure,” he said finally. “When Kenna first moved in with me, I used to lie awake at night terrified someone would take her away. Now, I worry I’m going to let her down.”

  “I met Kenna for all of ten minutes. But from seeing you together, it’s pretty damn obvious she loves you, Avery Banks. And you deserve to be loved.”

  The words were out before I could think about them. My heart hammered in my chest as he studied me.

  Not because of the attention; because of the expression on his face. Like I was the only person in the world, not just the room.

  Avery lifted the ends of the boa I’d forgotten was around my neck. Used them to pull me closer.

  Close enough we were breathing the same air.

  His gaze dropped to my mouth. “You know what?”

  “What,” I whispered.

  “You deserve to be loved too.”

  And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you fall.

  24

  Appreciation

  “Where were you last night?” Payton rolled up to me in the lobby. “You weren’t at Tilt. You’re always at Tilt.” My friend scooped ice cream into her mouth, her replacement for watermelon. Then cringed.

  “Brain freeze?” I sympathized.

  “Just cramps.”

  I frowned. “That’s not good when you’re pregnant. Speaking of, how’s Max doing with the new normal?”

  “Better. Now he’s being careful with me. Like he knows his first response wasn’t the right one, but
he’s not sure what to say instead.”

  “You’ll get through it.”

  She turned big eyes on me. “You think so?”

  “For all of Max’s…quirks, he adores you. He’ll come around.”

  She winced again and I frowned.

  “Come on, let’s get you some water.”

  I steered her toward the water fountain at the entrance to the gym. It was noon, and the gym was half-full.

  “At least Redpath seems to have taken an interest in me now.”

  “That’s great.” I hesitated. “There’s something I need to tell you, Payton. Avery and I overheard some news…” I filled her in on what we’d learned from Redpath in the closet two weeks ago. It felt good to get it off my chest.

  “So if corporate’s likely downsizing, why is Avery still here?”

  “He says he’s not going anywhere.”

  “Huh.” She turned it over. “That’s pretty decent, you know.”

  As we passed the glass windows, something caught my eye.

  Everything slowed down.

  Avery was doing pull-downs on a bench, the bar coming down behind his head before he pressed it back up.

  I’d known he worked out a few days a week. I’d never thought about it…

  Until now.

  The white tank left his shoulders and arms bare. My throat dried as I saw those muscles work.

  “Hmmm.”

  I tore my gaze away to look at my friend. “What? He’s hot.”

  “No argument. But that’s not lusty face. That’s feelings face.”

  “How do you know?”

  “Because I’ve never seen that face on you except when you look at that man.”

  “We spent two years hating each other.”

  “Maybe you felt something for each other but neither of you was ready for it. Besides, you won’t be his admin in another week. After that? Blank slate. You can do anything you want.”

  I turned back to see Avery release the bar, shifting back to take a breath.

  Watching him like this, I felt like a voyeur. But if he turned, spotted me through the glass… Payton was right. He’d be the one seeing things he shouldn’t.