Harvest Moon

by Helena Shaw

  Two more days, she told herself as she looked over the map. I’ll give him two more days.

  While the cloudy skies had cleared some and the threat of snow didn’t seem so imminent, Dawn knew she needed some fresh air, and she knew she was running out of time to get it. She filled an old travel mug that had come from a thrift store a few towns over with coffee and then went to add a dash of the last bit of whiskey to the mug.

  No, she decided, stopping herself. She didn’t know why she’d been drinking so much lately, but she knew it was a bad habit to get into. It had become something of an automatic reaction to grab the bottle, and it had to stop. She needed her wits about her if she was preparing to get back on the road, and alcohol wasn’t the way to achieve that.

  With her map tucked safely away, Dawn threw on Jase’s faded green jacket and grabbed her travel mug. The jacket wasn’t quite warm enough for the bitter mountain cold, but it made her feel safe. It was too big and had empty junk food wrappers in some of the pockets, but it didn’t matter. It smelled like Jase, and that was enough for her.

  For once, the wind had died down and the sun was shining. She still shivered from the cold, but as the sun warmed her skin and the coffee warmed her insides, she began not to notice the near-freezing temperatures.

  Instead, the briskness of the day helped her senses come alive. Dawn quickly noticed that she wasn’t the only one who was taking advantage of one of the last nice days Goosemont would probably have that year. It was still early, but the streets were filled with people she hadn’t seen in weeks, and they happily greeted her as they passed.

  As she strolled down to the local park, Dawn suddenly became innately aware of how the knowledge Jase had given her set her apart from everyone else. Here these people were, smiling at her, waving, asking how her day was, and not one of them worried that a werewolf might still be stalking them from the shadows.

  Part of her wished for that blissful ignorance again, but she would never be the girl who could smile and think that everything was all right with the world. Even before Jase had opened her eyes to the real horrors of what lurked in the dark, she’d known enough of evil to make most people unable to sleep at night. It was only one more thing to add to the pile of shit that made her reach for that whiskey bottle.

  With the kids in school, the park was empty. It wasn’t much to look at, not for a girl who had spent her teens in a bedroom that overlooked Central Park, but it was enough. There were a couple of swings, an old merry-go-round that was rusted so much it didn’t move, and that was really all the maybe hundred kids who lived in town needed.

  With nowhere else to go, Dawn took a seat on the swings and let the wind sway her back and forth as she drank her coffee. She knew she’d miss Goosemont, and she wouldn’t be leaving without at least a few goodbyes. Jim and Gabe, she’d say goodbye to them. Courtney’s family, too. They deserved that much.

  And Jase? her mind asked her as she took a sip of hot coffee.

  She couldn’t just leave without giving him some hint, some knowledge of where she was going. Part of her thought that she should tell Jim where she was headed so he could tell Jase for her, but she thought better of it. If the wrong kind of person did catch up with her, she was putting Jim in danger by giving him that information.

  A note would be a better idea, but she had no idea where to leave it so that Jase would find it. She didn’t even know if he would come looking for it.

  It was the first time in two years, maybe even more than that, if she really thought about it, that she was stalling her departure for another person. Since she’d turned eighteen, Dawn had only taken herself into consideration for when it came to moving on. Goosemont was the sixth place she’d stayed, and the one she’d stayed at the longest, and now she was dragging her feet.

  Another week, she thought as she sipped the coffee from her mug. Its slightly metallic aftertaste was bitter on her tongue. One more week. That isn’t too long.

  As she sat on the swing and tried to settle her mind, a shadow crept over her and blocked the warm rays of the sun. She shivered from the sudden cold, but it wasn’t just the temperature that made her skin rise into tiny bumps. Fear was welling up from within her, a sudden terror that made her want to spin and face her attacker all while she dreaded the very idea of seeing who was there.

  Still, she forced herself to turn. Slowly, cautiously, she looked over her shoulder and found Gavin Mosley standing behind her.

  Dawn expected to find herself relieved to see it was him instead of some monster or murderer, but in the cold shadow he cast, she couldn’t find it in her. Apprehension clawed at her skin, and she had to force herself to stay calm and casual as she said, “Hey, Gavin.”

  “Hey, yourself,” he replied, smiling at her as he pushed his brown hair out of his big puppy dog eyes. “Didn’t expect to see you here.”

  Somehow, deep in her gut, Dawn knew that was a half-truth at best, but she let it slide. “Yeah, just enjoying the nice weather.”

  “Mind if I join you?” he asked as he took a seat on the swing next to her.

  “Go ahead,” she said, finding it a little easier to smile once the sun was back on her again.

  “Everything okay?” he asked her, studying her face.

  “Yeah,” she said, but her smile weakened at the question. “Just thinking.”

  “About Courtney?” he asked. It seemed to be all people thought she was allowed to think about these days, and she felt guilty whenever someone mentioned her best friend’s name. It wasn’t in Dawn to correct anyone, she knew how that would look on her, but she couldn’t help but resent Gavin for it.

  “Off and on,” was the best Dawn could do at telling him he was wrong. “I know it’s awful, but it’s been what, two weeks? I’m starting to think she’s not coming back.” That was another half-truth. Dawn had known for at least a week that her best friend was dead, or possibly worse, but she couldn’t let anyone else know that.

  “You have to hold on to hope,” Gavin told her, like he was some kind of an expert on dead best friends.

  She shrugged. “I don’t know about that. I mean, do you think she might still be alive? Do you feel safe in this town?”

  Cracks appeared in Gavin’s playful, hopeful smile as she asked her questions. A shadow passed over his face for only a moment, but then it was gone again. “Honestly,” he said, “I don’t know, but I sure as hell hope so. As for safety, well, I think Goosemont doesn’t have to worry about that any longer.”

  “And why’s that?” Dawn asked as she studied him.

  “I just think we would have seen something by now.” He smiled at her with that all too sure of himself smile. “Everyone is saying that the hunters have left town and didn’t find a trace of a bear anywhere near here. Maybe whatever it was moved on, or died, or something.”

  “But what if they’re wrong?” Dawn pressed him. “What if it’s smarter than they think, and it’s just hiding and waiting before it attacks again?”

  “I don’t think bears are that smart,” Gavin laughed. “They eat garbage. They can’t be all that clever.”

  “What if it isn’t a bear?” she asked him. “What if it’s something else, something weird?”

  “Like what?” Gavin asked, his eyes narrowing as he looked at her. “A cougar?”

  “No,” she said, but a voice in her mind was telling her to drop it then. It wasn’t her own conscious, but a different voice.

  Don’t tell him, Jase’s voice echoed in her ears. Do you really think you can trust him?

  Dawn didn’t know what that last part meant, but it shut her up. Even if the voice was just her own subconscious reminding her that trusting people wasn’t always in her best interest, it was enough to keep her lips sealed.

  “Then what do you mean by weird?” Gavin asked, his brow furrowing as he stared at her.

  “I just mean…” She searched for a suitable answer as she spoke. “What if it’s got rabies, or something? Or a disease we don’t know a
bout? Or like, an escaped zoo animal?”

  “Oh,” Gavin said as he leaned back in his swing and relaxed some. “A zoo animal, eh? Now that sounds like a pickle. When I was in Miami, I heard a tiger escaped from one of them Disney parks, but it was probably just an urban legend. Still, wouldn’t surprise me.”

  “Me either,” Dawn said with a forced smile. “So maybe those hunters were looking for a bear, and they should have been hunting a tiger, or a leopard, or a hyena, or something.”

  “Could you imagine?” Gavin laughed as he began to pump his muscular legs to gain motion on his swing. “A leopard running around Goosemont? I can picture it walking right by Guy’s Drugs, and the old coot telling one of those blue-haired ladies that her cat got out.”

  “It would be something,” Dawn said as she let herself laugh with him. “Although it might be nice to help reduce the raccoon population.”

  “Nah, I like those fluffy guys,” Gavin said. “They’re all fat and goofy lookin’.”

  “Yeah, but they get into the trash at the bar,” Dawn said. “And then I get to clean up after them.”

  “Poor thing,” Gavin said as he planted his feet to stop his swing. Before Dawn knew what he was doing, he’d grabbed the chain that held her swing and was pulling her closer to him.

  “Gavin?” she asked as he slipped his arm through the chain and pulled their swings together.

  “What?” he asked as he walked his legs forward, pulling her with him.

  “Nothing,” she said, smiling. “You just startled me there.”

  “Sorry,” he said as he let her chain slip some, but then caught her before she moved more than an inch. “Just playing around.”

  Dawn was about kick her legs to swing, but Gavin slipped his muscular arm around her shoulders and pulled him closer to his chest. The thick chains of the swing pressed into her side, and she squirmed against them, but Gavin didn’t seem to notice.

  “Gavin,” she said as she tried to pull back, but he wasn’t listening. “Gavin!” she said with more force as she raised her hands and pushed against his chest. Even as she pushed harder, it was no use. He was strong as an ox, and even with all her strength, it seemed he barely noticed her resistance.

  “Stop!” she shouted at him before he finally released her from his bear hug.

  “What?” he asked as her swing flopped away from his. Before the swing could move back toward him, Dawn dug her feet into the ground and forced it to stop. “Dawn, what’s wrong?” he asked as she stood up from the swing.

  “Nothing,” she lied as she took a few steps away from the swing set.

  “Come on,” he said. “I was just playing around.”

  “I know,” she said. “It’s just... I can’t, okay?”

  “Wait,” Gavin said as he stood up from his swing. “Is there another guy?”

  “Huh?” Dawn said, startled by the accusation. “No, there’s not,” she lied. “It’s just… with everything going on, I can’t do this. It’s not you, it’s me.”

  “Uh huh,” Gavin said as he shook his head.

  “I know it sounds cliché,” Dawn tried. “But it’s the truth. I can’t get involved with anyone right now, but I appreciate you being there. I just don’t want to lead you on.”

  For a second, she thought Gavin might get mad, or maybe go the opposite and cry, but instead, he only smiled at her with that same look she’d grown accustomed to.

  “It’s totally cool,” he said as he put his hands up in faux defense. “I didn’t mean to push you or anything, and I apologize if I did.”

  “You didn’t,” Dawn assured him. “But I appreciate you understanding.”

  “I’m just happy you were honest,” he said. “Doesn’t mean I might not try again, but only when you say it’s okay. How’s that sound?”

  “Sounds fair,” she said with a weak smile. Gavin was so sweet, and she had to wonder why she couldn’t just go with him. Yet there was a block there, and it wasn’t just the idea of Jase returning. Something inside her just couldn’t make the connection with Gavin.

  “Thanks,” he said. “Can I at least get a hug, as friends?”

  “Okay,” she relented, and let him fold her into his muscular arms. He was warm against her body. Even through Jase’s jacket, she could feel the heat that came off of Gavin. He had a warm, woodsy smell about him that was almost comforting, but at the same time, it made her stomach clench. Even though she knew she should feel safe in the arms of such a big, strong man, that reassurance never came.

  “I’ll see you at Jim’s tomorrow,” he said, smiling at her as he pulled away. “If you’re working, of course.”

  “I almost always am,” she said as she took a subconscious step back from him.

  “Cool,” he said. “If you need anything, though, just let me know.”

  “Okay,” she said, but somewhere inside she knew she wouldn’t call him for help if it came to it. Not yet, at least.

  From a bench in the park, Dawn sipped her coffee as she watched Gavin walk away. A couple housewives had arrived, their little ones in tow, and they smiled and waved at her as she sat and let her mind wander. The wind had begun to pick up, and she pulled Jase’s jacket around herself to keep in the little heat it provided.

  While the toddlers played in the gravel and the moms chatted about what had happened on The Bachelor, Dawn brought the sleeve of Jase’s jacket up to her nose to breathe in his comforting scent, but it wasn’t there. His familiar, reassuring musk had been washed away by Gavin’s earthy scent. No matter how hard she tried to find a hint of Jase, it wasn’t there.

  “Damn it,” Dawn said as she felt a tear tickling the edge of her eye. And then, so low that the wind blew away her words before even she could hear them, she whispered, “Come home, Jase. Come back to me.”

  Chapter Seventeen

  In her mind, she’d given Jase another week to show his face, but after only three days, Dawn found herself unable to sit still. There had been no hint, no clue, and no sign that Jase was even alive. He’d told her not to wait for him, and now she knew she had to follow his advice.

  Even after a week and a half, she wasn’t getting over him. She was only worried out of her mind. It wasn’t the same as when Courtney disappeared. She knew in her heart that Courtney was gone for good. But Jase? He might still be out in the woods, hunting something, stalking something, and here she was, leaving.

  Tomorrow morning, she thought to herself as she grabbed the bottle of Johnnie Walker out of the cupboard under the sink. I’ll give him the night.

  Dawn poured a touch of the whiskey into a glass and tossed it back. The alcohol burned her tongue but didn’t satisfy her thirst, and her second pour filled the short glass to the rim.

  From its hiding place under the couch, Dawn brought out her map and tried to settle on where she was headed. South, she knew that much, at least, but beyond that, she was lost.

  Even with the old map, she never had really settled on a place until she arrived in it. She had planned to head all the way to Florida at one point, but ended up in the Appalachian Mountains instead.

  With an exasperated sigh, Dawn pushed the map off her lap and reached for her glass. Two big gulps of her drink later, she was already starting to feel the buzz she’d been looking for, and she got to packing up the few things she knew she’d need.

  A few days earlier, she’d finally applied the dye that had been sitting on her counter, yet the box still sat there as she made her way into the bathroom. The blonde she’d selected had come out a little paler than she’d expected, but she couldn’t deny she liked the subtle platinum. It was a slight change, but a good one, and perfectly timed for her departure.

  From the cabinet above her sink, Dawn grabbed a few essentials: her toothbrush, some deodorant, and a couple mini bottles of shampoo she’d squirreled away to use on the road. The moisturizer Courtney had given her would have to stay behind. The glass jar it was in was too fragile to toss around in her bag. Her razor she could replace.
She was only taking the things she would need daily.

  Back in the living room, Dawn pulled the suitcase she’d taken during a particularly desperate time in her life. It wasn’t one of her finer moments, but someone with more money than her had left it sitting on the curb while they argued with a cab driver over the fare. She’d needed the bag. Her old one had been falling apart from months of hard travel.

  It wasn’t like she kept the things inside it. Okay, maybe a little cash to see her to the next town and a sweater she still wore on occasion, but the rest ended up in a plastic garbage bag with an apology note. According to their ID, a woman named Carol, or maybe it was Cheryl, would hopefully have her stuff returned by the kind-hearted person who found it.

  Dawn kept the suitcase partially packed just in case she needed to bolt at a moment’s notice. A few pairs of clean underwear, a bra, some socks, a pair of shoes, a sweater, a pair of jeans, and a t-shirt were all there and accounted for, and she added the few items she’d pulled from the bathroom to the pile.

  The suitcase was perfectly suited for Dawn’s needs, small with wheels and plenty of pockets. It fit more than it looked like it would, but still, she had created a life in Goosemont, and she had, for the first time since she’d left New York, accumulated a fair bit of stuff.

  That stuff was proving harder to part with than she’d realized. Between the clothing she’d bought during the occasional shopping trip with Courtney, to the mug that Jim had given her as a gift, it was all too much to leave behind, but she knew she couldn’t take it.

  Would staying be so bad? her mind asked as she debated over two similar pairs of pajama bottoms. The whiskey was making Dawn sentimental, and every choice was becoming harder and harder to make.

  “I have to go,” she said as she tossed aside the lighter pink pair of pants and put the darker ones in the pile of things for her to take with her. The pile was already too big and would need some trimming before she could actually zip up her suitcase, but at least she’d made one choice.