Tattooed Dots

by Kimberly Knight

  I wanted to talk to her and find out why Jared was such an asshole and did that. If my girlfriend—the girl I was in love with—left on vacation for eight days, I would be at the airport early to make sure I was there whenever her plane arrived.

  By the time Cheyenne and I got back to the gate, they were boarding the plane already.

  “Did you get her number?”

  “No.”

  “Do it!” I said, handing my boarding pass to the attendant.

  “I’ll do it when we land. Nicole wants me to call her when we get to JFK.”

  “Fine, but you better call her as soon as we land.”

  “I will, calm down.”

  Once we were in the air, I purchased a movie for Cheyenne to watch for most of the six-hour flight home. I kept thinking to myself that Brooke was fine. She was an adult and could take care of herself, but I wanted to take care of her. I already missed her and that was freaking me the fuck out.

  *~*~*

  “Do it!”

  “Jesus, let my phone boot up,” Avery groaned.

  We had just landed at JFK, and the whole flight I thought about Brooke. I thought about the way that Jared had sealed his fate, and that now Brooke would break up with him, and I would swoop in and make her mine. It didn’t help that the movie Cheyenne picked to watch, Man of Steel, ended up being a love story at the end.

  I waited for Avery to text Nicole as we exited the plane. We walked towards the baggage claim, and I kept wanting to rip the phone from his hands. He wasn’t hurrying, and I wanted to just do it myself. I would have thought that he would want to call Nicole first thing, but I guess since he had already spoken to her the night before, he got his fill.

  Well?” I questioned when we arrived at the bagged claim.

  “She…um, hasn’t texted me back.”

  “Call her!”

  “She’s at work. I’m sure that she will text me back when she goes on a break or something.”

  I groaned…again. I just wanted to hear Brooke’s voice and make sure she was okay. Tell her that I was there if she wanted to talk or ask for advice on how to break up with Jared. I also wanted to know if she did break up with Jared.

  Maybe he didn’t pick them up because he was hurt and she wasn’t able to break up with him, yet. My brain was jumbled with so many emotions that I wasn’t used to running through my head. Brooke not saying goodbye hurt me, but I understood. I just didn’t want her walking out of my life.

  We grabbed all of our bags and met my dad out on the curb. By the time we arrived at my house, we had told him all about the cruise, and Cheyenne had told him all about California. Avery’s truck was at my house, so my dad dropped us all off.

  School was out for the day, and Courtney arrived home just in time to run over and wrap her arms around Cheyenne. Practice wasn’t for another hour, so they ran to Cheyenne’s room, and I heard Cheyenne start from the beginning about her trip to California.

  “I’ll see you at the gym at nine, and text me Brooke’s number when Nicole calls you back,” I said, tossing Avery his keys.

  “She did already.”

  “What? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  “Look, you need to sit down.”

  “Why? If she didn’t dump Jared yet, I’ll be a man and deal with it,” I said, crossing my arms over my chest and leaning against the kitchen counter.

  “That’s not it.”

  “Okay?”

  “You know how Brooke’s shoulder has been bothering her?”

  “Yeah?”

  “Well…” he paused, took a deep breath and started again. “Nicole made her go to the doctor today and they took an X-ray. They…uh…found a mass, dude.”

  I felt like the wind was knocked out of me. “A mass like a tumor?”

  “Yeah.”

  *~*~*

  I couldn’t fathom losing two women that I loved from them dying before their time. I guess it was Dana’s time, but she was too young. She had her whole life to look forward to, but she would never see Cheyenne go to her first dance, go to prom, have her first boyfriend (I didn’t want to think about that day) and walk down the aisle.

  I knew that I was a bad person for the way I treated Dana, but since her death, I had really changed. I didn’t know if I was still being punished for being an asshole, but I wouldn’t survive if Brooke died, too. Was this Dana punishing me? I told her to take Brooke from me if I deserved it, but Brooke didn’t deserve to die.

  Deep down in my heart, Brooke and I were meant to be together. Like I’ve said many times before, she makes me a better person. I thought my forever was supposed to be with Dana, but life has a way of working out other than how you plan it. Brooke was meant to be my forever, and now I stared at Avery as he confirmed that Brooke has a tumor in her shoulder.

  She turned out to be my best friend, and she wasn’t just pretty, she took my breath away. I wanted to wrap her in my arms forever, kiss her and tell her that everything would work out. No one had ever been there to take care of her. She was the one to always take care of everyone else, and now my other best friend was keeping me from her.

  “Get her number for me now!” I growled.

  I was beyond pissed. I wanted to pack Cheyenne in the car and drive to Boston. Every fiber of my being was telling me to get to Boston.

  “Nicole said it’s not a good time.”

  “I know it’s not a good time. She fucking has a tumor, Avery!”

  “Dude, don’t shoot the messenger. We’ll go this weekend. You need to spend time with C.C. You haven’t seen her in a week, and today is her first softball practice. I’m going to go see if the bar is still standing, and tomorrow we need to go through the books and make sure everything went smoothly.”

  He was right, but I didn’t like being so far away from her. I couldn’t save Dana, but I was going to do everything in my power to save Brooke. She was a fighter. She was strong, and she was my Superwoman.

  “Fine. Give Nicole my number and tell her to give it to Brooke. Tell her that I want to talk to Brooke—no, tell her I need to talk to Brooke!”

  “I will.”

  Avery left me standing in my kitchen, looking out the window and thinking about Brooke. Men are supposed to be strong, but around Brooke, I was wearing my heart on my sleeve. I wanted to show her how much I wanted her. The way she kissed me, I knew that she wanted me. I thought Jared was the hurdle, but the tumor might be the hurdle I can’t jump over.

  “Daddy, are you ready to go?” Cheyenne and Courtney came out of her room, bringing me out of my thoughts.

  I turned, pushing down the lump in my throat, putting a smile on my face and masking the pain I was feeling in my chest. “Yeah, Peanut, let me go change real fast.”

  *~*~*

  As I drove my Peanut to the field, I came to the conclusion that if I didn’t hear from Brooke, then she didn’t want me like I thought. There was a reason why she didn’t give me her number and a reason why she left without a goodbye. She said it wasn’t goodbye, but when going through a major health issue, I could only imagine wanting to disappear from society.

  I didn’t want her to go through it alone, but I would check in with Avery and see how she does through the process. If she were to call me, I would be there for her. I wanted to tell Cheyenne about Brooke, but I didn’t want to bring her up if we would never see each other again—or at least in a relationship aspect.

  The way Avery’s brain worked, I wouldn’t be surprised if he and Nicole were married by the new year.

  I stuck my phone with my wallet and keys in the bat bag that carried the equipment that I bought for Cheyenne. Before we left for vacation, we threw the ball around, and I also took her to the batting cages. We still needed to work on her hitting since that was her weakness. She had never played any sports before and was jumping into fast pitch softball.

  “Girls, gather around.” Courtney’s dad, Phil, motioned for us.

  After introductions of Phil and myself, practice was under
way. There were some girls who couldn’t throw, catch or hit a ball. It was understandable, but after seeing that Cheyenne wasn’t the worse on the team, she relaxed and started to play really well. She even went as far as trying to teach a teammate how to throw like a boy.

  I laughed as I watched her in her new element. Whenever I was teaching her how to throw, I would pick on her that she was throwing like a girl. She would stomp her foot and tell me that she was a girl.

  After the girls warmed up by throwing the ball in pairs, we broke off into two groups. I hit soft infield balls to the girls that wanted to play infield, and Phil hit popups to the girls that wanted to play outfield.

  I don’t think any of them really understood what each position did. I went around the horn, hitting a grounder to each girl and then telling them where to throw it. Some of the girls were picking it up while others still didn’t understand.

  I explained to them that it was only the first practice and that they would all understand the rules by our first game.

  “I think I’m either going to choose third base…or short stop. One of the two. Daddy, what do you think?” Cheyenne asked, buckling her seatbelt after practice. I thought she already decided on third, but women are always changing their minds.

  “Your mom played both. I think either one will be perfect.”

  “Yeah, but I can only pick one, right?”

  “No, not at all. It’s better to learn every position. Then you can be very valuable when you get to high school or even college.”

  “That’s true. Okay, let me think about it.”

  I laughed as she said that. She had all the time in the world. She wouldn’t be in high school for at least three more years, and with me and Avery coaching her, she was going to be the best girl in town.

  *~*~*

  Once again, I couldn’t get a good night’s sleep. I tossed and turned, thinking about Brooke. I hadn’t heard from her, and I had a half a mind to stalk her on Facebook—but I didn’t.

  I got up at six, made breakfast for Cheyenne and then took her to school. After grabbing a cup of coffee from Starbucks, I met Avery at the gym and then we went to Halo after a good workout. The bar was still standing, and believe it or not, Bethy did a really good job managing. All the cash and credit cards were accounted for, a list of what we needed to order was on my desk, and everything was in tiptop shape.

  “Let’s promote Bethy to full-time manager,” I said to Avery as we both counted money.

  “I was thinking the same thing. I think we should get someone else, too.”

  “Why? I think one person will be enough.”

  “Not if we are both spending our weekends in Boston.”

  “Brooke didn’t call me. I scared her off. So looks like it will just be you going to Boston on the weekends.”

  “Fuck—okay—look, you’ve been my best friend my whole life. I’ve seen you fuck around with a shitload of chicks. If you’re really serious about Brooke, I’ll give you her number. Nicole gave it to me because Brooke does want you to call her, but if you’re just going to hurt her, I’m not giving it to you. She’s in a really bad place right now and doesn’t need you fucking with her life more.”

  I leaned back in my black leather office chair, looking him straight in the eyes. If he would have focused his attention on something other than Nicole’s pussy during the cruise, he would see that I was in love with Brooke. We both fell in love on the cruise, but he was enjoying his relationship while mine was being dangled in front of my eyes like a carrot for a fucking mule.

  “You’re right, we have been friends our whole life and you know what? I love her more than I’ve ever loved anyone in my whole life—except Cheyenne, of course. You know what I mean. Anyway, I won’t hurt her, I promise. If anything, Jared is hurting her. I want to save her. I want to be there for her—to take care of her. Av, I need her. She needs me.”

  “Jesus, who’s the lovesick fool now?”

  “I know,” I said, hanging my head.

  “Alright, here,” he said, handing me a piece of paper.

  I took it from him and stared at her number for a few seconds. “Thank you.”

  I glanced at my phone, checking the time and knew that she was at work, so instead of calling her, I sent her a text:

  Me: Hey Superwoman! Avery told me about your tumor…I miss you, but want to give you all the time you need. I’m here if you ever need ANYTHING! X –Easton

  CHAPTER FIFTEEN

  Brooke

  Jared came home after he got off work the night before, and I was too emotionally drained to fight with him. After Doctor Sam told me about the X-ray, she made me take a series of other images to determine how big the mass was and where it was located in my chest.

  I didn’t go back to work after my appointment, and frankly, I didn’t care. Being told that you have a tumor is one of the worst things you could possibly hear from a doctor. Of course, there were other things, but none of us knew if my tumor was cancerous or not.

  After Doctor Sam and Nicole told me about what the XX-ray had shown, I cried in Doctor Sam’s office until Nicole got off work at five. She followed me home and then dragged me to Yogurtland for dinner. Yogurtland wasn’t a healthy choice since I piled on the candy—and since it was basically ice cream, but Nicole was a firm believer that after a doctor’s appointment, you should get ice cream or in our case, frozen yogurt.

  I got more chocolate and candy than actual frozen yogurt. I didn’t want to be in public with my tear-stained face, so we got our dinner to go and headed back to my apartment. As we sat in my apartment, drinking vodka and eating our yogurt, I told her to give Easton my number. I should have never left him the last morning of the cruise. I should have never stopped the kiss that I desperately wanted.

  Fucking Jared. He was a lying bastard and an asshole for forgetting us at the airport. On the cruise, my heart was telling me to give in to the temptation of Easton, but my head was telling me no. I should have known to always listen to my heart.

  After an hour of being home, and getting a little tipsy from the vodka and lack of food, Jared came home, and Nicole left me after she gave him an earful of how much of a loser he was. During her rant, I left and went into my bedroom, locking the door behind me. I didn’t want to talk to him.

  All I wanted to do was take a hot shower and go to bed. I stood in front of my bathroom mirror, staring at myself and thinking of everything I could have done differently in my life. I didn’t know what caused tumors, but there was a reason I had one.

  I slowly peeled off my clothes, turning so I could see my shoulder blade as I stood in front of the mirror naked and imagined the tumor that was growing inside me. The radiologist said that the mass was the size of a little bouncy ball that kids play with.

  Ironically growing up, Bailee and I would buy the miniature bouncy balls when I went grocery shopping for us. She would beg me for a quarter, and she would always get a ball so that we could bounce them off walls, tables, floors—anything—and count how many times it would bounce.

  We made a game of going to the top of the stairs and seeing who could get it to bounce on the most stairs as it went down. Now I had a fucking mass the size of one in my shoulder.

  As I stared at my backside, Jared tried to talk to me through the door, but he should know I was mad at him and didn’t want to talk to him—especially after the text I sent that morning. I actually didn’t want to talk to anyone but Easton, and I hoped he called soon since I told Nicole to give Avery my number for Easton.

  After a long shower and crying my eyes out as I sat on the floor of the tub, I crawled into my bed with my bedroom door still locked. Jared could go back to wherever he slept the night before. He tried pounding on the door more, but I didn’t respond. After a while, he stopped. I didn’t know if he slept on the couch like he said he did the night before or if he left. I didn’t care.

  I fell asleep clenching my phone, waiting for Easton to call.

  He didn’t.
<
br />   *~*~*

  When I woke the next morning, I dressed for work, not putting any makeup on or drinking my usual morning cup of coffee. My mind was elsewhere, and I didn’t care if I got fired. No amount of coffee would give me enough energy to give a shit about anything.

  I arrived early to work and slipped in without anyone seeing me and shut my office door and locked it. After two hours of staring out the window at nothing and not doing any work, I got Easton’s text:

  Easton: Hey Superwoman! Avery told me about your tumor…I miss you, but want to give you all the time you need. I’m here if you ever need ANYTHING! X –Easton

  I stared at it for a few minutes. He texted me, and he missed me. I missed him, too. I wanted to go home to Easton and cuddle with him until my tumor magically disappeared. But that wasn’t reality. He had his own life in New York and had Cheyenne to take care of. He couldn’t leave her and take care of me. He had responsibilities, and I had nothing but a stupid tumor growing inside me and a lying boyfriend.

  Me: Thank you for the kiss. I really need it and I miss you, too. I’m sorry for the way I acted the last night…and the next morning.

  A few seconds later, he texted back:

  Easton: I’ll always want to kiss you.

  Me: You say that to all the girls, huh?

  Easton: Actually no…you’re the only one. You’re MY Superwoman.

  Me: I haven’t broken up with Jared.

  Easton: I understand. You got some big news yesterday. Is he at least taking care of you?

  Me: I didn’t tell him, yet.

  Easton: Can I call you?

  Me: I’m at work.

  Easton: Can I call you tonight?

  Me: Yes, I would like that.

  Having Easton text me put a smile on my face. He made my worries disappear for a short time; he was my distraction. Knowing that he missed me made me want to fight the tumor—made me want to live no matter if it was cancer.