Tattooed Dots

by Kimberly Knight

Brooke: Me too. I’m tired of reading and there is nothing on TV.

  Me: Have you been walking like Dr. Bloom told you to?

  Brooke: Yes and I’ve eaten 2 popsicles and a cup of grapes already.

  I looked at the clock and it was only nine in the morning. While I had been with Brooke, she didn’t have an appetite. A cup of grapes was actually a lot for her and I was proud.

  Me: Good. Try to eat your lunch when they bring it.

  Brooke: The food tastes like shit!

  I laughed. It really did. I was bringing in fast food because the hospital food was gross. I didn’t want to eat junk food, but I didn’t want to be away from Brooke for too long. I tried to get her to eat some of my cheeseburger once and she turned her nose up. I knew she liked cheeseburgers because I saw her eat one on the cruise. I just wanted her to eat because I wanted her to get better and get the hell out of the hospital.

  Me: Well, I’ll get Nicole to bring you something. What do you want?

  Brooke: Nothing sounds good. Just the grapes.

  Me: Okay, get more grapes.

  Brooke: Yes, dad!

  I laughed again. Seemed like Brooke was already feeling much better.

  “Nicole’s calling me,” Avery said. “I’ll be back.” He stepped off the treadmill and walked towards the locker room.

  Me: I’m serious. I want you better so I can take you home on Wednesday.

  Brooke: I know, I’m trying. I’m going to take a nap now. I love you!

  Me: Love you, too!

  Avery returned fifteen minutes later and I watched him sit down next to me at the leg press.

  “Well?” I asked.

  “I really am going to be a father,” he said and finally cracked a smile that turned into a shit-eating grin.

  “Shit, dude. Congrats!” I said and stood to walk over and give him a hug.

  We did a quick “bro hug” and then we both sat back down and started lifting weights. “Don’t tell Brooke, yet. Nicole is going to tell her next week.”

  “Yeah, no problem.”

  *~*~*

  I returned to the hospital around noon on Wednesday. When I arrived, Brooke still hadn’t been released, but said that a nurse was going to call her doctor and see if she could go home.

  She looked a million times better. The tube that was in her right side was removed, she was out of bed, dressed and pacing the halls.

  “I’m tired of lying down,” she said as I gave her a questioning look.

  “I can tell.” I chuckled and gave her a light peck on the lips. I didn’t want to hug her—even though I really wanted to—because of her stiches in her side.

  I sat and watched TV as Brooke continued to pace. About an hour later, her doctor arrived and finally discharged her. He was reluctant at first and told her that once the good medication was out of her system, she would be in a lot of pain. She told him that she didn’t care and that she just needed to go home. He told her to get lots of rest and that he would see her on Monday.

  After we waited another hour for the nurses to get their shit together and for Brooke to get her medications to take home, we finally left.

  “Oh my God, I never thought I would leave,” she said. “I need a shower ASAP!”

  “How are you going to shower with your bandage? You can’t get it wet.”

  “Well, you can help me.” She looked over at me and smiled.

  I took a deep breath. It would be the first time seeing Brooke naked and not fucking her. I didn’t know when the next time would be that we would have sex and seeing her naked wasn’t going to help matters.

  “Of course, no problem,” I said and grabbed her hand as I drove.

  *~*~*

  The first thing Brooke did was head straight to the bathroom, start to take off her clothes and turned on the shower. She really wanted that shower and I didn’t blame her. It had been six days since her last one and she told me that the nurses gave her sponge baths, but they didn’t take her clothes off.

  I stripped myself of my clothes and helped her get in the shower. My cock started to harden and I had to keep my mind off her naked body. It was hard as she leaned back and I wet her hair with the removable showerhead. Her breast stuck up in the air and if I just leaned down half a foot, I could lick one of her nipples. Baseball: I wonder if the Angels will make it into the playoff this year?

  I grabbed her shampoo and lathered it in my hands and then in her hair, kneading her scalp and she moaned. Don’t moan! “This warm water feels so good!” she said and moaned again. Damn it!

  We rinsed her hair free of the shampoo and I stared at her breasts the entire time. Bacon: I wonder if Brooke has her appetite back? I could make her some bacon and pancakes. After her hair was free of the shampoo, I put her conditioner in it and then she told me that it needed to stay in for a few minutes and that I should wash her body.

  She turned and eyed my semi. “What did you expect?” I asked, raising my eyebrows.

  “I didn’t say anything.” She laughed.

  I squirted her apple shower gel into my hands and started from her shoulders, working my way down to her feet. I paid extra attention so I didn’t get water or soap in her bandage. Hairy legs: Brooke has hairy legs. Well, I guess she would since she hasn’t showered in six days, but I’d still fuck her with them hairy. Damn it! After I washed her body, she turned and we rinsed out her hair.

  I quickly washed myself and then I stepped out, toweled off fast and secured the towel around my waist. Then I helped her out of the shower. I patted her dry near her bandage. She was able to wrap the towel around her wet hair and then I helped her dress.

  “Six weeks ago, I bet you would have never guessed you would be helping your girlfriend shower because she had a tumor removed, huh?”

  “No, but I don’t mind. I actually like having a girlfriend,” I said with a wink. Funny how things can change in only a few weeks.

  “I’m just glad the tumor is finally gone and I can get back to my old self.”

  “Do you know how long that will be?”

  “Doctor Bloom said about six to eight weeks.”

  “You know you’re staying with me until you go back to work, right?”

  “Yes,” she said with a huge smile.

  “Hungry?”

  “No,” she said, shaking her head.

  “Tired?”

  “Yeah, will you lay with me?”

  “Of course.”

  After she insisted that she couldn’t go to sleep with wet hair and I used her blow dryer to dry it, we climbed in her bed and took a long nap.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE

  Brooke

  I arrived at Doctor Bloom’s office and it was hell. Every bump Easton went over, hurt like a bitch. I was in a lot of pain starting day two of being home. I figured it was because all the “good drugs” were out of my system and I was back to being on only the narcotic. It helped a little, but it wasn’t like the good stuff.

  He tried to miss any and every bump, but the slightest one, hurt. I didn’t want to tell him that I was worried about driving five hours to New York City, so I kept my mouth shut. I would just double up on the pain meds until we got there.

  The nurse called me back when it was my turn and Easton and I waited for Doctor Bloom in an exam room. Other than the pain in my side where my stiches were, I felt fine. The pain my shoulder blade was gone.

  “Hey Brooke, Easton, it’s good to see you again,” Doctor Bloom said and shook our hands when he came in. “How are you feeling?”

  “Good.”

  “Let me take a look at your stitches,” he said and came over to lift my shirt. “They are healing nicely. Let me change the bandage and in about three or four days, you can remove it and can get that area wet.”

  “Okay,” I said and waited as he put on a fresh, white bandage and tape.

  “They X-rays all look good and everything seems to be healing fine,” he said, looking at his computer. “We got the biopsy report back.”

&nbs
p; I took a deep breath. “And?”

  “Well, we were both very hopeful that after we removed the mass, then you would just heal and that would be it.”

  “Right?” I questioned, raising my eyebrows.

  “The tumor that you had is called a Desmoid tumor. They aren’t cancerous, but they’re known to grow back. We aren’t sure what causes them so I want you to talk to a genetics counselor.”

  “Oh great,” I said and looked over at Easton.

  Doctor Bloom continued. “I’ve been talking to some of my colleagues and there are two options to prevent more from forming. One chemo and the other is radiation.”

  Chemo? Radiation?

  “Okay…” I said nervously.

  I want you to go talk to both doctors and then make a decision on what you want to do.”

  I don’t recall any more of what Doctor Bloom and I talked about. I’m actually not sure if I even talked except uttering “uh huh” and “okay” a few times. All I could think about was chemo and radiation. When he told me that my tumor wasn’t cancer, I was relieved, but once he told me that I would either need chemotherapy or radiation, I was stunned.

  *~*~*

  I called the doctors that Doctor Bloom recommended on the way home and made appointments for consultations. I just wanted this whole nightmare over with. On one hand, I was relieved I didn’t have cancer, but on the other hand, I didn’t want more to form and be in pain again.

  When Easton and I arrived at my apartment, we were both sad. The plan was for me to stay with him for the next few weeks, but instead, I had an appointment the following morning with the chemo doctor and then the next afternoon, I was meeting with the radiation doctor.

  He didn’t want to leave me, but I assured him that I would be fine and I would ride with Nicole on Friday to the city.

  We said our goodbyes so he could make Cheyenne’s practice. I knew the back and forth was hard on him. He stayed with me on Wednesday when I got out of the hospital, returned home Friday and then came back Sunday night. I really wanted to just stay with him in New York because it would be better on both of us, but it wasn’t working out.

  I didn’t bother unpacking my bags. I was determined that on Friday, I wouldn’t return to Boston until I had to start chemo or radiation and if anything, I was going to wait to schedule those until it was summer, so Bailee would be with me and Easton didn’t need to worry about me so much.

  When I walked into the kitchen to make me a sandwich for lunch, I noticed that my voice mail light was blinking on my answering machine. The only person that had that number was Jared and my mother. I never got rid of my landline because I never wanted to give my mother my cell phone number. I didn’t want her to feel that she could get ahold of me whenever she wanted.

  She was never there for me growing up, so why should she have my number in case of emergencies?

  I pushed the blinking red light and waited for the machine to start the message. It was from that morning while I was at the doctor’s office.

  “Brookie, it’s your Mother. Your sister told me about your surgery and your tumor. I’m worried about you. Please call me. If I don’t hear from you, I’ll keep trying.”

  I was instantly pissed at my sister. Just like Nicole, she couldn’t listen to my wishes. I didn’t want my mother to know about my tumor—especially since no one knew it wasn’t cancer except Easton and I now. I hadn’t even had the chance to tell anyone else.

  If I did have cancer, I was going to tell my mother. But since I didn’t, I wasn’t planning on telling her. Of course, she said she would call back because she knew I wouldn’t call her back for a while. When I last talked to her the Sunday after my birthday, I only answered because I didn’t feel like hearing the phone ring all day.

  The line rang three times before my mother answered.

  “Brookie, how are you feeling?”

  “Fine.” I really wasn’t in the mood for this phone call.

  “Your sister called and told me that the surgery went well. I wish you had told me. I would have flown in.”

  “It wasn’t necessary.”

  “Is your boyfriend…what’s his name…Jared? Is he taking good care of you?”

  “Jared and I broke up before my surgery.”

  “So you’re all alone? Do you need me to come take care of you?”

  Why the fuck did she care?

  “Actually, I’m dating another guy and he’s taking good care of me.”

  “Do you have cancer?”

  Let’s not beat around the bush or anything.

  “No.”

  “Good, I don’t know what I would do if you had cancer.”

  “Really?”

  “What is that supposed to mean?”

  “Nothing,” I said and rolled my eyes.

  “Well, I was just calling to see if you had cancer…”

  “Well, I don’t,” I said and cut her off.

  “Are you angry with me or something?”

  “No more than usual.”

  “What has gotten into you, young lady?”

  “Look, Mom, I really don’t want to talk about it. Thanks for calling.”

  “You can’t still be mad at me from when you were a kid, can you? I explained to you…”

  “Explained what? That you weren’t ready to raise two children so you decided that your eldest should raise herself and her sister?”

  “I know I messed up. I want to be there for you now.”

  “Why?”

  “Because Stanley has children, and they have grandkids, and I want my own.”

  “What?” I questioned, almost falling off my chair. “You want to be a mother figure now? It only took you thirty years…”

  “I miss you and Bai, and since you don’t have cancer, you can give me grandkids.”

  “Mother, that’s absurd.”

  “Please…” she sighed into the phone.

  “Please what? You just want me to get knocked up now?”

  “Well…”

  “No, I’m not going to just pop out kids for you. You won’t even be in their lives.”

  “Yes, I will. That’s what I’m trying to tell you. I will be there. Stanley will fly me out to take care of them when you have them, and I’ll be a wonderful grandmother.”

  “You’ve lost your mind.”

  “I promise.”

  “I haven’t even seen you over four years…your own daughter. You’re too busy to come see me, what makes you think that you’ll have time to see your grandkids?”

  “I’ve changed. Stanley…”

  “No, Stanley. I’m not going to give you grandchildren just because you have another family and you want a grandchild that’s your own blood.”

  “Why are you being like this?”

  “Don’t get me started. I have to go. If you recall, I just had a tumor removed and I’m in a lot of pain. I don’t have time for this.”

  “Please, just think about it. I want to be in your life now.”

  “Yeah, fine. I’ll think about it. I have to go. Bye.”

  My mother had lost her fucking mind. Even when I had children, they were not going anywhere near her unless she proved that she had changed. She could take care of that Stanley guy’s grandchildren.

  *~*~*

  I went to the chemo doctor and the radiation doctor. The chemo doc told me that chemo wasn’t the answer. I was beyond relieved. I wasn’t looking forward to losing my hair and becoming extremely sick. I wasn’t looking forward to hours of treatment either.

  The radiation doctor didn’t give me the same good news. Hopefully, to prevent the tumor from coming back, I would need to have radiation Monday through Friday for six weeks. Six weeks!

  “Do you want to proceed?” the doctor asked after telling me how they would basically burn the cells around where the tumor was to hopefully prevent another one from returning.

  “I guess I have no other option.”

  “Okay, I’ll have the nurse come in and schedule the
CT.”

  “Actually…is it possible to refer me to a treatment center in New York?”

  “New York? I can assure you that our center is…”

  “No, it’s not that. I’m moving to New York and I would rather have my treatments there.”

  When the doctor told me that radiation would last six weeks after another four weeks for my recovery from surgery, the thought popped into my head. I didn’t want to stay with Easton for a month and then come back to an empty home. Plus, Lucy and Mike never came to see me in the hospital like they promised. They’ve only sent a text message since to see how I’ve been doing and not a word from Ian.

  When Easton told me that he loved me, the words “pack her shit up in her apartment and move her in with me” kept ringing in my ear. I wasn’t sure at the time if he was serious or he was just saying that in the heat of the moment, but before Doctor Bloom dropped the bomb that I would need either chemo or radiation, I was on my way to stay with Easton for six weeks.

  I also got the feeling that Nicole was planning to move, too. I’ve never seen her so hung up on a guy before and the distance between everyone was brutal. Nicole has always been the one to want to drop everything and start a family. Every guy she meets, she thinks about marrying the guy. Of course, they don’t work out, but Avery…I think, is the one for her. I can tell he loves her and all the other guys didn’t have that look about them.

  Even if Easton and I were not to work out, I needed a fresh start somewhere. I didn’t want to go back to a job where I hated my boss. Life is too short to be miserable and that’s what I was. Yes, I loved doing the work—helping children in the long run, but I was tired. I wanted to start over and get out of the apartment that I shared with Jared.

  “Okay, sure, I can refer you to a center in New York. I’ll let Doctor Bloom know and the reception desk will have your referral.”

  After I left the appointment, I was supposed to call Easton and tell him how it went and what the doctor said. I made the phone call short and just told him that I would need six weeks of radiation and that it would start in about a month. Luckily, he was getting ready for Cheyenne’s softball practice and couldn’t talk long. I didn’t tell him about having it in New York, I wanted to do that in person and surprise him. Little did he know that I wanted to surprise him tonight.