‘He’s blinded by…’
‘Sex?’
He laughed quietly, his stare as determined as mine. ‘Whatever you’re doing to him, he’ll get over it. Eventually. He’ll get tired of the attitude and the language and this ridiculous obsession you’ve acquired that involves branding your skin with that vile ink. He’ll get tired of it all. Eventually. He isn’t that shallow, Lana. He’ll see sense. He’ll see that you aren’t right for him. You never were. You’re even less so now. He needs someone who can accompany a man of his standing to functions and dinners, a woman who holds herself with dignity; someone on the same level as him. Someone who doesn’t put him on edge, in fear of what they might say or do. He needs…’
‘He needs you to keep out of shit that doesn’t concern you,’ I hissed, leaning forward only slightly. ‘And I have no idea where you get off thinking you can say any of this to me because you are so out of line here, it’s ridiculous. Now, I really don’t care what you or anyone else thinks of me; I’ve already told you, David, nobody else’s opinion matters anymore. So…’ I shrugged, ‘… say what you like, because to me it’s nothing but white noise. You’re just wasting your breath.’
He continued to stare at me, but I was holding my ground here. Even if, for just a fleeting second, I wished I was somewhere else. Some place where I didn’t have to deal with all this crap.
‘You really are an incredibly beautiful woman, Lana. I can’t deny that. And, you know, if you’d come back into Adam’s life the same woman you had been before, maybe things could have worked out. It’s just a pity you’ve seen fit to ruin yourself in the way that you have.’
‘Everything okay here?’ Adam asked, walking into the conservatory, looking from David to me.
‘Everything’s fine,’ I replied. ‘David was just congratulating us, weren’t you?’ I held his stare for a few more seconds before turning to face Adam. ‘Where’ve you been? I’ve had to amuse myself annoying Finn.’
Adam walked over to me, kissing me quickly. ‘I had to take a phone call.’
‘Work-related?’ David asked.
Adam looked at him. ‘Graham Kenwood. He just wanted to make sure the meeting was still on for Monday afternoon.’
‘Do you want me to take charge of that one? Only, I know you’re pretty busy with Hendersons, and sorting all that paperwork out for the LA contract…’
‘We’ll both take care of the Kenwood meeting, David, and can we talk about this on Monday, hmm? Tonight is supposed to be a party.’
‘If business needs to be handled at awkward times…’
‘Monday, David. Go get a drink and loosen up, will you? Go on.’
I couldn’t help smiling at that. Yeah. I was teaching him good.
‘Has he been bothering you?’ Adam asked, once David had finally left us alone.
‘No. He’s fine,’ I sighed, pulling him between my legs and kissing him slowly, enjoying a few brief minutes to ourselves.
‘You sure? Only, I know you two never really got on and…’
I shut him up with another kiss, running my hands up and down his forearms. ‘You gonna keep going on about your brother?’
‘If this is what I get every time I mention him then, yes, probably.’ He grinned, and I smiled back, hooking my legs around his hips as he lowered his mouth back down onto mine. ‘But, as much as I would love to do nothing but stay right here, between your incredibly beautiful legs, we really should be more sociable. This is supposed to be our party, after all.’
‘Yeah. You’re right.’ I played with the collar of his shirt, keeping my legs wrapped around him for just a few more seconds. ‘And anyway, these legs are quite happy to take a rain check.’ I kissed him quickly. ‘They’ll open up again later. When we’re alone.’ Another kiss. ‘Naked.’ And another. ‘In bed. With nothing to do but make love until the sun comes up.’
‘Now that sounds like a plan.’ He smiled, sliding a hand into his pocket and pulling something out. ‘Give me your left hand, come on.’
‘Adam! We said no rings. Anyway, I’ve already got one.’
‘From eighteen years ago, Lana. You’re not wearing a second-hand ring, okay?’
‘It’s not second-hand. It’s my bloody ring.’
‘Shut up and hold out your hand.’
‘So romantic,’ I sighed, grudgingly doing as I was told.
‘I didn’t think hearts and flowers were quite your thing.’
I looked at him, the smile he gave me making my heart shudder. ‘When did I ever say that?’
He just raised an eyebrow as he slid the ring onto my third finger. I looked down, my smile growing a little wider as I stared at it. To say it was different to the first engagement ring he’d given me was an understatement. That one had been simple and understated, but you couldn’t really call this one understated. This one was almost the complete opposite of that first ring. This one was uniquely beautiful, and I fell in love with it immediately. And that was coming from a woman who didn’t do expensive jewellery. I did leather bands and cuff watches, but this ring – a square, black diamond set in black gold – it was so me I couldn’t have chosen better myself. I hated to use the word perfect, because nothing was ever that, but this ring, it sailed pretty close.
‘It’s a cushion-cut black diamond,’ Adam explained, his hand still holding mine. ‘And I thought the black gold was more your thing, too. Did I do okay?’
I looked up, loving him for doing this, but hating him because he was making me cry, for such a girlie reason. ‘I love you so much, Adam Saunders.’
‘You like it?’
I nodded, quickly wiping my eyes with the back of my hand. ‘Yeah. I like it and I’m gonna show you just how much I like it later.’ I kissed him again, sliding a hand around the back of his neck as our mouths moved together, his body close to mine. Exactly where I wanted it to be.
‘We’d better go join the party.’
I rested my forehead against his, running my thumb lightly over his mouth. ‘I’ll be out in a bit. Go on. I won’t be long.’
He gave me one last kiss before he headed out of the conservatory to rejoin the party. I crossed my legs up underneath me, cocking my head slightly as I stared back down at my ring.
‘Whoa!’ Finn whistled, leaning over to get a closer look.
‘Isn’t it amazing?’ I looked at him, scrunching up my nose. ‘I went all “girlie” again, didn’t I?’
‘He’s changing you, sis,’ Finn mock-sighed, shaking his head and leaning back against the sideboard, nudging me gently. ‘Seems like he’s got you sussed, though. That really is one hell of a ring. Must’ve cost him a small fortune.’
‘Yeah,’ I whispered, looking back down at my hand. ‘I suppose it must’ve done.’
‘Oh, Jesus, now what’s wrong?’
I looked at him. ‘Nothing. It’s just… David’s being an arsehole, and I’ve stupidly let him get to me, even though I’d promised myself I wasn’t going to let that happen.’
‘Being an arsehole in what way?’ Finn asked, handing me a fresh bottle of beer.
‘Telling me I’m not right for Adam, voicing his dislike about the way I look…’
‘And that matters, does it?’
‘No, but…’
Finn just raised an eyebrow. ‘He’s always been an arsehole, Lana. I knew that from the second I met him.’
I couldn’t help smiling. ‘Yeah. He’s always been a big fan of yours, too.’
Finn shrugged. ‘Well, there you go, then. His opinion means fuck all. Forget it.’
I looked back down at the ring. ‘It just…it feels as though me and Adam have such a battle ahead of us, Finn. On so many levels. I hate doing all that corporate shit, I hate it with a passion but, if I’m gonna be his wife again, then surely I just have to suck that up and support him. But does that mean I have to change who I am when we’re out together? Am I gonna have to cover up and dye my hair and act like the perfect partner? Because that’s not what I’m signing
up for here.’
‘And I’m sure Adam knows that.’
‘I know there are gonna have to be some compromises. I mean, I’m not that selfish to think everything has to be done my way, but…’
‘You said yourself it wasn’t gonna be easy, kiddo.’
‘Yeah, I knew it wasn’t gonna be easy. But there are times when I can’t help thinking we might be hoping for the impossible.’
He pulled himself up onto the sideboard beside me, taking my hand and squeezing it gently. ‘What really happened with you and Eddie at the festival? I mean, you said you just talked, but…’
I looked at Finn. ‘I didn’t sleep with him, if that’s what you’re getting at.’
‘Is that what I asked?’
‘It’s what you meant. Seriously, was I away long enough for that to have happened?’
‘Did you want to?’
I looked straight at my brother. Right into his eyes, not missing a beat before I answered. ‘Yeah. I did. I wanted to sleep with him.’ And that was the truth. I had. For a brief second or two.
‘Jesus, Lana…’
‘But that was just because, him turning up like that, out of the blue, I was hit with this wall of memories and I…’ I looked back down at the ring Adam had just given me. ‘I knew it would have been wrong to go there. But he… he said a lot of things that… Look, I dunno. They just hit a bit close to home, that’s all.’
Finn threw me a slightly confused look. ‘You having second thoughts here, kiddo?’
I shook my head, running my thumb lightly over the black diamond nestled nicely on my finger. ‘I’m just letting David get to me more than I should. But, you know, maybe he’s got a point.’
‘And what point would that be, exactly?’ Finn frowned.
‘I fell for Adam so hard in the beginning. So hard. And because I would have done anything for him back then, I allowed myself to change everything I was, everything I wanted to be to fit in with his world – to make mine easier. And isn’t that what he’s doing now, Finn? Changing everything he is to fit in with my world?’
‘Would that be such a bad thing?’
‘It didn’t work out so well for me, did it? In the long run it only made me unhappy. What if all we’re gonna achieve is the same outcome here? I mean, I know we seem happy enough now, and for the first half of our marriage I was happy. I…’
‘Lana…’
‘I’m not having second thoughts, Finn.’
‘I think you are.’
I looked down, letting go of his hand and clasping mine together. ‘I love Adam. I never stopped loving him, not really, and I will fight as hard as I can to make it work this time around, I really will, butI don’t want him to end up unhappy. I don’t want him to end up feeling what I felt in the end or we’re gonna lose it all over again.’
Finn gave my hand another squeeze and I leant in towards him, resting my head on his shoulder. ‘When did your life become so complicated, beautiful?’
‘When I let it,’ I sighed, sliding down from the sideboard, my eyes going straight to Adam, who was over the other side of the living room, chatting to a pretty, dark-haired woman. She seemed to be hanging on his every word, looking right into his eyes, an interested smile on her face. With her beautifully styled shoulder-length hair, smart trouser suit and expensive-looking jewellery she was everything I’d tried to be for him, but had never quite managed to pull off, even after almost twenty years of trying.
‘Lana?’
Finn’s voice brought me back to reality and I turned to face him, frowning slightly as he slowly shook his head. ‘Don’t, okay? Don’t go there. Don’t start moving backwards, kiddo, don’t do that. You’ve come such a long way since I rescued you from oblivion…’
‘Shut up!’ I laughed, loving him for pulling me back from a mood I didn’t want to sink into.
‘You see?’ He smiled, taking my hand and squeezing it again. ‘I told you you needed me here tonight.’
I moved in for a hug, snuggling in against him. I really hadn’t realised just how much I’d missed my brother, until I’d found him again.
‘Are you sure you’re doing the right thing, Lana?’
I pulled back slightly, frowning as I looked up at him.
‘I mean, I know I practically pushed you into going back to Adam, but that was only because I was worried about you out there, in Vegas, with Eddie, this guy you barely knew. I just wanted you to come back home and I thought Adam might be able to talk you round better than I could. And now, after seeing you guys together, I just want you to be sure. I want you to be really sure. Because marriage – even to a guy you’ve been married to before – it’s a huge decision. And you, more than anyone, are putting a lot on the line here. You’re putting who you are now on the line.’
I ran my hands up and down his arms, lowering my gaze as his words sunk in. ‘I know.’
‘I want you to be happy, sis.’
I looked back up at him, smiling slightly. ‘Yeah. I know you do.’
‘Does Adam make you happy? Really happy?’
‘I love him, Finn.’
‘That’s not what I asked, Lana.’
It was the same question Eddie had asked me a couple of weekends ago and the answer I’d just given Finn was the same answer I’d given him. Was there a reason for that?
‘I’m gonna go see him,’ I said, kissing Finn quickly, then heading back out into the living room before he could throw any more curve balls at me. This was my engagement party. It was time to find my fiancé and start celebrating properly. But he seemed to have disappeared from the living room, so I tried the kitchen. There was no sign of him there, either. But as I walked past the slightlyopen utility-room door, I heard their voices – David and Adam’s. They were speaking in low tones, so it was hard to make out what they were talking about, and even though I wasn’t one to eavesdrop, the one thing I could make out was my name. That caused me to stop in my tracks. Leaning back against the wall, as close to the door as I could get without being seen, I was grateful the kitchen was all but empty. I hoped it stayed that way. I wanted to know what Adam and his brother were talking about now I’d heard my name being mentioned. But they were keeping their voices quiet and I had to concentrate really hard to hear anything they were saying.
‘Are you sure, Adam?’ David’s voice was clearer, which told me he was standing closest to the door. ‘Really sure. Because some would say you’d had a lucky escape.’
‘Jesus, David, come on. Cut her some slack, will you? She was my wife…’
‘And she walked out on you. Remember? Almost twenty years together and she walked out on you to become some freak who hangs out with bikers and tattooists and all manner of people you really can’t afford to be seen mixing with. Have you any idea how bad it would be for business if our clients thought those were the kind of people you associated with?’
‘Do you have any idea how narrow-minded you sound right now?’
‘It’s the truth, Adam. And deep down you know it. Why you couldn’t have made it work with Caroline…’
‘I didn’t want to be with Caroline, David.’
‘Caroline was perfect for you. Elegant, classy, polite; from a good, well-respected family. She knew how to handle herself in the social circles we mix in…’
‘Did you hear what I said? I didn’t want to be with her. She was a perfectly lovely woman, but we just didn’t click.’
‘You could’ve made it work.’
‘Have you always been this bigoted? Or have I just chosen to ignore it all these years?’
‘Lana’s image, Adam – it doesn’t “fit” with the company. It doesn’t fit with who you are.’
‘Doesn’t…? What the hell are you talking about?’
‘Image is everything in business.’
‘Is it?’
‘Oh, come on… Do you want to lose everything? Are you willing to put it all on the line just because you’re infatuated with your ex-wife’s need to turn herself
into some kind of…’
‘Leave it, David. I’m warning you…’
‘Think about it, Adam, for Christ’s sake. Can you really see her, with all those vile tattoos, and that hair and the language she uses, the way she carries herself now, she looks…’
‘Hot.’
I almost laughed out loud at Adam’s quick-fire response to that.
‘Jesus, Adam…’ David sighed. ‘She looks cheap. But then, she hardly comes from good stock, does she? Look at that brother of hers…’
‘I’m not going to tell you again, David. You don’t talk about her in that way, do you hear me?’
‘You’ve built that business up… We’ve built that business up…’
‘This isn’t about you, David.’
‘I’m only saying these things because I care about you, Adam. I think she’s wrong for you. The way she is now, she’s wrong for you. Can you not see that?’
‘Look…’
I closed my eyes as Adam’s voice rose slightly, my heart hammering hard as I continued to listen in to this quite obviously private conversation. But it involved me, so I figured I had every right.
‘… maybe this is just something she needs to get out of her system, okay?’
My eyes sprung open at that remark, my heart beating even faster now.
‘Maybe she just needs a bit of time to live out these –I don’t know – these fantasies. Maybe this is nothing more than her version of a mid-life crisis, but she’s back with me and now we’re together again, things will probably change, David. They’ll change.’
‘Do you think so?’
‘She’s an intelligent woman. She knows what she should be doing.She knows right from wrong.’
I couldn’t quite believe I was hearing those words come out of Adam’s mouth. It was like a black mist had descended over me and I really had to try hard to stop myself from crashing their conversation and smacking the pair of them. Because now – now the truth was coming out. The game was changing again and I was close, I was so close to letting them know I was there and I’d heard it all. But I stayed where I was. I needed to hear where this was going. I needed to hear exactly what else my fiance had to say now he’d seemingly opened the floodgates.
Shirley Valentine Goes to Vegas Page 27
