I smiled again, reaching up to stroke his cheek, running my thumb over his rough skin. ‘Yeah. You too, Eddie Fletcher.’
Letting go of him, I walked away without looking back, because I knew looking back was dangerous. I’d done what I’d needed to do. I’d made the right decision.
31
Lying on the couch in Adam’s front room, I turned over onto my stomach, picking up another of the many brochures I’d surrounded myself with, all of them showcasing far-flung places that looked like paradise with their white beaches and swaying palms and wedding packages the price of which were making my eyes water. But none of it was doing it for me.
‘I’m just not the flowing-white-dress-and-flowers-in-the-hair kind of girl,’ I moaned to Finn, the phone tucked between my chin and shoulder as I continued to flick through the pages.
‘Blackpool in a tracksuit more your thing, is it?’
‘Fuck off!’
‘Well,’ he laughed. ‘What kind of wedding do you want?’
‘The complete opposite to the one I had last time.’
‘That’s incredibly selfish of you, sis. The last time you married Adam there was a free bar and a party that went on until four the next morning. You telling me we’re not gonna get that this time around?’
‘No. You’re not. I want it to be just me and Adam this time.’
‘Boring!’
‘Shut up!’ I laughed, glad I’d called him now. I didn’t even know why I was stressing over wedding arrangements anyway. We hadn’t even begun to discuss dates or honeymoons or anything like that. ‘Anyway, I’m going now.’
‘Really? And I was just beginning to enjoy this conversation.’
‘Yeah. You’re hilarious. I need to get ready. This engagement party’s starting in a couple of hours and I haven’t even thought about what I’m wearing.’
‘It’s only a house party, Lana.’
‘Yeah, but, it’s not gonna be like one of your house parties, you do know that, don’t you? There are gonna be people here who… Best behaviour, Finn. Okay?’
‘Scout’s honour.’
‘Like you were ever in the scouts.’
‘Listen, Lana, I’m being serious now. You do want to get married, don’t you?’
‘Oh, not this again… Of course I want to get married.’
‘To Adam?’
‘Are you being funny?’
‘No. I’m asking a serious question. It’s just that, after what happened with Eddie the other weekend, at the festival… I just want to make sure you’re doing the right thing, that’s all.’
‘I am. I know I am. I love Adam. I love him, Finn, and I’m not willing to let him go a second time.’
I felt a hand on my hip, a body move close to mine, his mouth almost touching my ear as he spoke, sending a huge shiver tearing up my spine. ‘I’m glad to hear that.’
I bit down on my lip, closing my eyes as Adam’s hand moved lower, sliding down my shorts. ‘Gotta go, Finn.’
‘Mister CEO home after a hard day’s work, huh? On a Saturday, too. He must be keen.’
‘Yeah. See you later. And bring beer.’ I threw the phone down, keeping my eyes closed as Adam kissed the back of my neck, his fingers stroking my skin, the smell of his cologne overwhelming. ‘You still wearing your suit?’ I murmured into the cushion.
‘I’ve just this second walked through the door, so, yes. Why?’
I turned over and looked up at him, all tall and handsome with his short, dark hair, those ice-blue eyes and a beard I was continually begging him to keep. In fact, I was thinking of making it a kind of pre-requisite to our engagement – shave it off and the wedding was a no-go. I was that serious about it staying.
He stood there, a slight smile on his face, his hands in the pockets of his navy suit pants. He’d loosened his tie slightly, his shirt now open-necked, his jacket still on, and I couldn’t remember ever seeing him look so sexy. Why had I never seen that whole businessman thing as a turn-on before? Because I’d been too busy trying to be the perfect wife, that was why, when I should have been focusing my attention elsewhere, instead of trying to become something I could never be.
‘Don’t take it off.’ I returned his smile, wriggling out of my shorts. ‘Well, you can take the jacket off. But leave the rest on.’
He shrugged off his jacket, throwing it over the back of a chair, leaning over to help me out of the rest of my clothes. ‘I want you naked,’ he whispered, rolling up his shirtsleeves and spreading my legs. ‘Actually, I’d like you permanently naked.’
‘You’d like your own personal plaything, you mean.’ I stretched out, locking my fingers above my head as he lay between my legs.
‘Have you got a problem with that, Ms Saunders?’
Jesus! When had he learnt to talk like that? He’d almost growled those words, all deep and sexy and, for Christ’s sake, he’d just made me wet within seconds. ‘No problem at all, Mister Saunders. After all, you’re the boss.’
I got such a kick out of this role-paying shit; couldn’t believe we’d wasted all those years not even realising the fun we could have had. Still, we were making up for that now.
I closed my eyes as he bent his head, his hands on my breasts, his thumbs flicking over my nipples.
‘I’ve been dreaming about this all afternoon,’ he moaned, lowering his head, his mouth touching my stomach, kissing it ever so lightly, making it contract in the most beautiful way. ‘All fucking afternoon.’
His language was almost turning me on as much as his actions, because hearing him use those kind of words, well, he didn’t do it all that often. Not in this context, anyway, and I was kind of hoping it was going to become a habit. I’d turn this man into something darker and dirtier if it killed me. He was already getting there.
‘I can’t believe I’m actually saying this…’ I groaned, arching my back as his hands gripped my hips, his mouth moving lower still. ‘But, do we have time for sex? The party’s starting in a couple of hours…’
The touch of his tongue between my legs shut me up instantly. We’d make time. Besides, he was down there now and if there was one thing I knew about Adam, once he’d started something, he didn’t stop until he was finished. So I just left that question unanswered, lay back, and let his mouth bring me to the kind of climax that rocked my body in the calmest of ways. It was so gentle, so peaceful, almost, I didn’t want it to stop. Didn’t want to leave the place it took me to.
‘I love you, Lana,’ he whispered, moving back up, the feel of his clothed body against my naked one a whole new turn-on. ‘I love you so much.’
I looked up at him, pulling him nearer to me by his tie, wiping his mouth with my thumb, smiling slightly. ‘Yeah. I kind of love you back, handsome.’
He laughed quietly, reaching down to unzip himself. ‘I just need you to know that I love you and I’m really trying to get my head around all these changes and… You’re this whole new woman to me Lana and it’s still quite strange but… Jesus…’ He bowed his head, watching as he pushed inside me before his eyes locked back onto mine. ‘I’m as confused as hell, but I can’t…’
I put a hand on his cheek, stroking his rough face, keeping my gaze fixed on him. ‘Can’t what, baby?’
‘It feels new, Lana. And when something is this new it scares me, and right now I am so scared.’
I kissed him, wrapping my legs around him, pulling him deeper into me, wanting him to feel safe and know that this was scaring me, too. All of it. It was scaring me, too. ‘We’ve got to learn to shut out the rest of the world and concentrate on us, Adam. Because that’s where we went wrong last time. We have to try and focus on what makes us happy.’
‘But some of those things don’t fit, Lana. What makes you happy doesn’t always make me happy, and I don’t know…’
I shook my head, stopping him from talking any more. ‘I don’t want us to live in each others’ pockets, Adam. We can be a couple, we can have a great life without having to do everything togeth
er. I know that now, and I think it’ll be much better, for both of us, if we aren’t glued to one another.’
‘I worry about you,’ he whispered. ‘Out there, riding pillion with Finn, I mean.What if he has an accident, and you’re on the bike with him? What if…?’
I shut him up with a kiss, pulling my legs tighter around him, drawing them up slightly, forcing him even deeper. ‘Can we not do this while you’re fucking me?’
‘Lana, please, do you have to call it…’
‘You’re fucking me, Adam. I don’t always want us to make love, okay? Sometimes I just want us to fuck… Oh, there you go.’ I arched my back as I felt him stop for just a second, before he came so fast it surprised even him. ‘You love it when I talk dirty, don’t you? Really?’
He couldn’t help laughing, looking down at his hands still holding onto my hips as his movements started to slow down. ‘Was this always you?’ His eyes slowly moved back up, once more locking with mine. ‘Was this person always inside you, waiting to be set free?’
I reached out to touch his face again, running my fingers over his beard. ‘For a long time, yes, I think she was probably in there.’
‘If she’d shown herself sooner…?’
‘She’s out now and all I want is for her to never feel the need to hide away again. Do you understand, Adam? If you want me, you have to take who she is, too. Because she isn’t going away.’
He looked down again as he pulled out of me, zipping himself back up before he climbed off me.
‘We should be getting ready,’ I said, sitting up, pushing both hands through my hair. ‘People will be arriving soon.’
‘Come here,’ he whispered, holding out his hand and pulling me up into his arms. ‘You are making me step so far out of my comfort zone, do you know that? Who you are now, what you do; how you talk. It’s all so different and…’
I looked at him, trying to read his expression, see something in his eyes that I could understand because all I was getting were words. And they didn’t always match what was really going on inside someone’s head. ‘If you can’t handle this, Adam. If you really can’t…’
‘No.’ He shook his head, his arm tightening around my waist. ‘No, I… Jesus, I came all the way to Vegas because I knew I needed you back in my life, I just… It’s intense, Lana. More intense than I thought it was going to be.’
I narrowed my eyes as I continued to stare at him. ‘David been in the office today, huh?’
‘Listen, baby…’ He tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, kissing me gently, his hand resting lightly against my cheek. ‘I’m sorry, okay? For bringing this up tonight, for…’
‘Don’t,’ I whispered, pressing myself against him, stroking the back of his neck with my fingertips, my mouth almost resting against his now. ‘We have to shut them out, Adam. Remember? We have to shut them all out because, if we don’t, we’re in trouble.’
‘I can’t lose you again, Lana. I won’t lose you again.’
‘Then ignore David. Ignore all his shit and concentrate on what’s important, which, right now, is you and me sharing a shower. And believe me, once I start showing you just how useful shower gel can really be, you aren’t gonna care what your narrow-minded brother thinks. Anyway, he’s probably just jealous. Maybe, deep down, he wants to find out for himself what it’s like to fuck a woman with tattoos and a love of hot, dirty sex.’
‘Jesus, Lana…’ Adam laughed, letting his hands wander over my naked breasts, his eyes following their every move. ‘You really don’t know when to stop, do you?’
I shook my head, smiling as his eyes once more met mine. ‘I promise, I’ll be on my best behaviour tonight, though.’ I ran my thumb lightly over his mouth. ‘Around everyone else, anyway.’
He smiled back, his hands falling onto my bottom, pushing me harder against him. ‘You are going to kill me.’
I kissed him slowly, feeling his hard-on make a fast return. ‘Let’s get upstairs, handsome. We haven’t got much playtime left and I haven’t finished with you yet.’
‘Your favourite brother-in-law’s here, I see,’ Finn said as we hung out in the conservatory, drinking beer and people-watching.
I looked over at David standing by the fireplace in a pale-grey shirt and tailored charcoal pants. ‘Still looks like he’s got something permanently shoved up his arse,’ I sniffed. ‘And his wife doesn’t look any more relaxed.’
‘Still a big fan, then?’ Finn smirked.
‘Don’t even go there. You really don’t want to get me started.’
Finn looked back over at David, and the glamorous Tamsin, his undeniably beautiful but, in my opinion anyway, completely unapproachable, wife. She could, actually, be rather lovely when she wanted to be, and we’d had one or two fairly pleasant days out together in the past, surprisingly. But I’d always felt that she allowed David’s opinions of me to cloud her own, which meant I’d kept her very much at arm’s length, whenever possible. She intimidated me way too much, or she’d used to. But something told me I wasn’t going to let that be the case anymore.
‘They really don’t look alike, do they? Him and Adam,’ Finn continued.
‘No. They don’t.’
‘The lovely Tamsin’s still looking hot, though, in that kind of stuck-up way… Man, that is such a fucking turn-on…’
I rolled my eyes, shaking my head. ‘You’re not still fantasising about her, are you?’
‘Always fancied a bit of upmarket posh myself.’ Finn grinned, throwing me a wink. ‘And you don’t get much posher than Tamsin Saunders. Her father still owns that stud farm, doesn’t he?’
I just gave him a withering look. ‘She’d eat you for breakfast, baby brother.’
‘Yeah,’ he sighed, taking a swig of beer. ‘I know.’
I threw him another look, which he returned.
‘Anyway, where’s Christian Grey?’
‘Will you fuck off?’
‘No. You need me tonight, and don’t deny it.’
I nudged up against him, quickly kissing his cheek. ‘Yeah, you’re right, I do. Without you here I’d be drowning in Adam’s friends and colleagues. Can’t believe Bobby and the guys have that biker’s rally in Morpeth this weekend. This would’ve been so much more fun with everyone here. I’d have paid money to see David’s face when that lot turned up.’
‘Adam’s friends can’t all be that bad, surely.’
‘No,’ I sighed, taking another drink of beer. ‘They’re not. Some of them are really lovely. Mainly the ones I’ve known since me and Adam first got together. It’s just me being paranoid. Ignore me. I haven’t had enough to drink yet.’
‘So, where is he, then? The gorgeous Adam.’
‘Pack it in, Finn.’
‘No. I’m enjoying myself. Every time I say his name you go all “girlie”, and that is so entertaining for me, you have no idea.’
‘I hate you.’
‘Yeah. Sure you do. Oh, hang on, here he is.’
I followed Finn’s gaze, my eyes immediately falling on Adam. He looked heartbreakingly handsome in dark jeans and a navy-blue shirt, displaying his own brand of casual-relaxed with the sleeves rolled up to the elbows, his hair just a touch messed-up. And that was only because I’d ran my fingers through it not ten minutes earlier when he’d pushed me back against the kitchen wall and grabbed a quick kiss on his way to fetch more wine from the fridge. I bit down on my lip and Finn looked at me.
‘You see? You’re doing it again.’
‘I am not!’
‘You are.’ He waved his empty beer bottle in my face. ‘Re-fill?’
‘In the kitchen. You know where they are.’
‘You’re not the best hostess in the world, are you?’
I threw him a sarcastic smile. ‘Those days are well and truly behind me.’
I watched him head off into the kitchen, pulling myself up onto the sideboard behind me, taking a long swig of my own beer.
‘Are you doing this on purpose?’
&
nbsp; I looked up to see David standing in front of me, but I wasn’t about to let him get to me. Not tonight. Not ever. Those days were well and truly behind me, too. ‘Sorry. Am I not allowed to drink now?’
‘You know what I mean.’
‘I don’t, actually… Oh, you mean the bottle, is that it? A lady should always be drinking from a glass, right? Am I not displaying the proper manners here?’
‘This is supposed to be a celebration, Lana. What’s wrong with champagne?’
I kept my eyes fixed on him as I drained my beer. ‘Nothing. I’m just not all that keen on the stuff, to be honest. Well, not unless your brother’s pouring it over my naked tits and licking it off while he fucks me – hard.’
‘Jesus Christ.’ David turned away for a second, pushing a hand through his hair before he turned back to face me. ‘You’ve proved your point, Lana, alright?’
‘I don’t have a point, David.’
He moved a step closer, but I still wasn’t about to let him intimidate me. He was welcome to try, though. I was more than ready for him. ‘Why, Lana? Why do this to yourself? You’re a beautiful woman, but this – whatever it is you think you’ve become… I never thought you were right for Adam, but at least before… At least you did what was expected of you…’
‘I’m sorry?’ I laughed, unable to believe I was hearing this. Although none of it really surprised me, I’d always known the way David felt about me. I’d just never heard him say it out loud or in such in a candid way. Back then it would have bothered me. Now, I didn’t give a crap.
‘Do you really think people are going to be accepting of you walking back into Adam’s life…?’
‘He walked back into mine, actually. Get your facts right. Dave.’
‘I’m ashamed to say he’s acting like any man faced with a woman like you…’
‘A woman like me. Do you want to expand on that?’
‘You look cheap, Lana.’
‘If I were you, I’d be extremely careful right now, David.’
Shirley Valentine Goes to Vegas Page 26
