Inner Core: (Stark, #2)

by Sigal Ehrlich

  “I want you so badly,” I breathe, feeling heat radiate from my cheeks, my skin, my eager body.

  “Me too baby,” he whispers into my lips. He turns slowly to lie on his back, shifting me ever so carefully to lie on top of him, as if I were too fragile to hold.

  “I don’t want to hurt you,” he says, his eyes warm and sincere.

  I bend to kiss his handsome face, his eyes, his cheeks, nibble at his hard jaw line and finally, collide my mouth with his with all the longing that has accumulated in me for the last torturous fourteen days. Thinking about the fact that my mom and my discontented dad are just a floor below us, I turn on my ancient CD player for Madonna to soothe the room with “Dear Jessie” in a sugared melody.

  “A lullaby for sex? That’s kinky, Hales,” Daniel chuckles.

  I shush him and say, “I haven’t touched this thing in ages.”

  “Whatever works for you, I’m game.” He says, pressing a delectable kiss to my lips, still smiling.

  “And we need to keep it down, especially with my Dad not being your biggest fan.”

  “He’s not? And here I thought we’d grab a beer after I’m done projecting his daughter…”

  Our light chuckles die as soon as he slides his hand through my hair to hold the nape of my neck. He leaves tenderness aside, pulling me toward him. Our lower halves press together hard. And that ember that was steadily burning for him since the last time he touched me lights faster than I thought it possibly could, making my body simmer from the inside out.

  “There’s something I need to tell you Hales, before we...” He pauses. I can’t even begin to read his tone with the desire clouding my mind. I just pull him closer with uncontrollable need.

  “Hales…”

  “Not now…later…” I plead and shamelessly rub against him. In less than a breath we are devouring one another.

  “Shaving is caring, baby.” A low snort comes from the edge of the bed, a cluster of blond strands rise from between my legs and a wicked grin shines my way. Flustered, with my breath coming out erratically, I narrow my eyes at him and scold, “Seriously, now’s the time for joking?”

  He chuckles again but the moment his expert mouth continues its skillful work of art on my spasming tissue all is forgotten. He takes his time to painstakingly, lazily, attend my need. My head drops to the pillow while my body independently lifts to press against him, in rhythm with his pace. When his name flies out of my mouth in a mumble he pulls me up to straddle him. His hand on my back encourages me to grind against him as he moves in me.

  I look at his blazing eyes, his face in front of me, flushed with pleasure and concentration. Our mouths hover closely as we move in synch. His hands grip me at my waist and he moves me tightly against him to better feel our connection. I lean my cheek against the scruff of his jaw; the scent of him and sex intoxicates me. When moans start rising from my mouth he swallows them with his, pushing me closer, until I shatter against him—wildly shatter against him. Daniel burrows his mouth into my neck and strangles a groan against it with his last thrust. I could cry from the want and longing that were just released. I could cry from how much I want and need this man.

  ~~~

  When we return downstairs it's clear that my mom has spoken to my dad and made sure he won’t keep up his grilling-Hayley's-boyfriend act. We join them for a light dinner in the kitchen before we leave for the airport. The conversation is only a tad less hostile, more like a cold war now.

  Just before we leave Daniel turns to my dad as he shows us to the door. “Sir, I intend to take good care of her,” he says in a low, authoritative voice, his arm affirming his statement by firmly enfolding my waist. I snicker inwardly. D’s statement sounds like it's from an old movie. Next he'll tip his hat and nod. Add a thick drawl, and that's a wrap.

  “I'm glad to hear that,” my father responds in that same masculine, stern tone. As he pats Daniel’s shoulder and thanks him again for getting the information about Steven my smile turns to a full-hearted grin. I hug him forcefully, whispering to his ear. “Thanks. I love you, Dad.”

  Chapter 4: Is My Blessing Also My Enemy?

  Once we are approximately above 10,000 feet, Daniel turns my way. He brushes my hair to the side and with a gentle hold on my face he tilts it closer to his, looking at me intently for a suspended moment, then chastely brushes his mouth on mine. Pulling back, though still close enough for his breath to mix with mine, he trails his stare over my face. I smile, sensing he has something on his mind that he's thinking about sharing with me.

  “What is it?”

  He beams his lopsided smile, still pensive. “I think you should move in with me when we get back home.”

  Come again? We’re back to that already? Didn’t we just get back together a second ago?

  A déjà vu of our last conversation about this issue comes to life in my mind. Just like the last time, my opinion is decided. Too soon, too impulsive. And, given our recent breakup, this time I don’t even have a shred of a doubt.

  “We just got back together two minutes ago. I really don’t think it’s good timing.”

  He heaves a sigh in distinct displeasure, scowling. “This breakup was a mistake that shouldn’t have happened. I thought we established that point by now. Nothing has really changed.”

  I study him closely. His mouth is twisted and I can see his restlessness all over his face.

  “We can’t go from hell to heaven in a split second and pretend nothing happened. It doesn’t work that way.” I deepen my stare. “Let’s absorb the impact of hell first and go from there.”

  His eyes bore back into mine; the determination in them overwhelms me.

  I inwardly shake my head.

  “Nothing really changed, Hales. I want exactly what I wanted before.” His voice wears his not-to-be-argued-with, confident tone.

  “How can I argue with you if you don’t even try to make sense?”

  “Are we arguing? What about, for fuck’s sake?”

  Really? He bites his lower lip. My focus on his ripe mouth distracts the hell out of my resolve. I take a deep breath.

  “We broke up, we had trust issues.” That is to say…you had trust issues with me. “We were apart for some time. At a certain point you didn’t even want to see me. Ring a bell? How can you be serious about this?” I’ve almost forgotten how “pleasant” it is to reason with him.

  “Oh, I am more than serious, believe me. I'd even take it to the next level, but I don’t want you freaking out on me… it’s too early for you.”

  “How can you be so sure?” My voice is a clear sign of my exhaustion and I'm this close to giving up trying to make a counter argument, or sense for that matter. He gazes at me with a look that I know portends a wicked resolve.

  “I’m not. I'm still debating.”

  My eyes rip open and I grimace involuntarily. For the space of a breath I am truly offended. He tips my chin up and presses a flirty kiss on my lips, then mouths, “kidding”, clearly elated.

  “How can I be so sure?” He murmurs. He stares at me with gleaming hazel, on the verge of amused. “You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep, because reality is finally better than your dreams."

  First my jaw drops. Then I scan him with startled eyes. Finally I bite my lip which is stretched into a smile.

  “Who are you, and what did you do with my Daniel?”

  He snorts out a short laugh, and looks at me amusedly.

  I heard that one before, I’m not sure where. I wouldn’t tag him as a Nicholas Sparks type fan.

  “Dr. Seuss,” he answers sternly to an unspoken question.

  I can’t help but snicker. That’s much more fitting! “Seriously, baby,” he takes my hand and pecks my knuckles, all humor dissolved. “Even if I had you custom-made they wouldn’t reach this kind of compatibility. It’s like I did something really god damn fucking virtuous in a past life to be rewarded with you. So, hell yeah, I’m fucking sure.”

  The mush my gut
just turned into. I press a short but meaningful kiss on his lips. I rest my head on his shoulder, utterly content.

  “My Daniel,” he mumbles. I tilt my head to look up at him. His stare descends to meet mine, and with a boyish smile he says, “Glad I'm your Daniel again.” I smile softly, emotionally. I’m glad you are. “You know what?” I return to the subject we just strayed from. “Let’s start with a key and a drawer, just like the last time, and go from there.”

  His eyes squint as he gauges my proposal.

  “For the time being,” he says with clear dissatisfaction, emphasizing his reluctance with a sigh.

  “Oh my, thank you sir. You are just too kind to me.” I smirk at him and roll my eyes. He scowls playfully and a ghost of a smile tugs on his lips. We embrace as closely as we can and fall into comfortable silence, deep in our own thoughts.

  When the seat belt sign darkens we share a glass of wine. I watch him fondly as he gazes out the window and think about how grateful I am to have him by my side, loving me again. But in equal measure to my almost unreasonable adoration my persistent insecurity rears its head. It unnerves me that I might be setting myself up for the greatest heartbreak, which I'm not sure I would ever be able to recuperate from. I’ve been there with him once too many times: never again. I know that my head should be leading me this time around, rather than my heart.

  Daniel gifts me with a soft smile, brushes my cheek with the back of his hand. His eyes turn quizzical as they scan me. I try to dismiss his concern with a short blink and a shake of my head.

  “Okay?” he probes with a shade of doubt. I nod. Torn and unsure would be more accurate.

  I smile and kiss the corner of his mouth, and he gives me one last glance to asses my mood and turns to work on his laptop. I gape at the screen in the seat in front of me and listen to the playlist on Daniel’s iPod. There's a song that catches my attention, and I listen to it again.

  “They're good,” I tell Daniel and point my finger at the group’s name on the display. He nods and leaves a kiss on my temple. One sentence keeps recycling in my head over and over, long after the song is done playing. “My blessing is also my enemy.” I stare at Daniel’s handsome profile and ask myself whether my own blessing is indeed also my enemy.

  Chapter 5: Messages

  I wake up in a vast, empty bed; it takes a whole lazy moment to realize where I am before the familiarity of Daniel’s bedroom registers. On the pillow next to me there’s a note in a frenetic scribble. I smile at how apt this chaotic handwriting is, and how it fits its owner to perfection.

  Loved waking up next to you…again. Had to leave early, see you tonight. D.

  I look at the note and then around me and there is not a single doubt in my heart that I belong here, in this place, in this bed, in his bed. I smile and snuggle under the light comforter, inhaling Daniel’s scent deeply. I try, but can’t recall anything from the moment we got into the Veyron at the airport until now. He must have carried me inside and put me to bed, because otherwise I'm not sure how I made it here. The only thing that comes to mind is how exhausted I've felt since hell began. Curious, I peep under the covers. I find out I’m wearing one of Daniel’s t-shirts and smile. The one thing that would make this morning better would be if the shirt’s owner were here now, next to me, on me. Checking the time, I realize that it’s only half past seven, meaning I have plenty of time to leisurely get ready for work. At the breakfast counter I find my bag and dig in for my phone. Next to my bag there’s another note from Daniel with a car key on top of it.

  Take the car.

  Yes sir. Even his memos are commanding. The keys make me grimace. These are the keys to his car, the same car I just recently returned when I came to say what I thought at the time was our final goodbye. A shiver runs through me at the morbid memory and I shake it away. The last thing I want is to dwell on that.

  Waiting for the massive stainless steel coffee machine to produce my a.m. cardinal caffeine fix, I dial Tasha’s number.

  Though it’s been just a few days since I’ve last seen Tasha, I’ve missed her a lot. Having a morning talk with Tasha is as vital as the first coffee of the day. These conversations usually take place at our royal dining area, also known as a bright orange breakfast bar that barely fits the two of us. I smile at the thought of how, even early in the morning, Tasha always looks refined, with her silky black hair, radiant green eyes and this annoying, too straight, so together posture of hers.

  Though I can’t help but frown at the thought of the last time I saw Tasha. She'd gotten home from work to find me in the middle of a breakdown, crying my eyes out, after I asked Daniel to leave, right after I refused his attempt at reconciliation. At the time it had felt like too little, too late. I had been deeply hurt by the horrid feeling that the one person I loved had given up on me as quickly as he had. I couldn’t get back to him at the time, and frankly, I still harbor a serious mixture of insecurity and doubt.

  “Did I wake you? Busy?” My lips pull up at the semi grunt I get in reply.

  “Yes, busy. I was just having a hot and heavy makeout session with Ryan Gosling and decided that the one thing I wanted to do was answer your call.” She puffs, then chirps, “Morning! And welcome back, missy.”

  “Morning. What’s with this annoyingly bright tone at the crack of dawn?”

  “Glad to hear your voice, Hales, glad to hear your voice,” she says scornfully, sarcasm dripping loud and clear, which makes me giggle.

  “Mm hmmm, and the real reason...?”

  She snickers. “Later. First, how are you?”

  “Well, I guess you know about Steven.”

  “Yep, spoke to Mr. 411 yesterday.”

  I snort at Tasha’s extremely suitable name for Ian.

  “Also, I’ve been told that you’re in the very capable hands of Mr. Psycho.”

  I smile to myself.

  “Happy, Missy?”

  “I am, Tash. More than I could have hoped for.”

  “Will I see your royal butt home anytime soon? Or ever, now that you're getting some again?”

  “Well, not tonight.” We both snicker in unison, knowing it will be hard to keep me away from Daniel, at least for the next few days. Well, we’ve just got back together and there’s plenty of “catching up” to be done.

  “Now will you share the reason for your disgustingly sunny mood?”

  “I met someone,” she says, practically singing.

  “Oh, really. I hope no one from work…” I murmur, referring to Tasha’s short, forbidden fling with her geeky boss. A moment of weakness on her part that for the life of me, I still don’t understand.

  “A true comedian you are. Ha ha, cracking up here. Listen Hales, I really don’t have time now, sorry. How about lunch? I could drop by, say, around noon?”

  “You can’t leave something like this hanging. A crumb?” I plea.

  “Smart and sexy as hell,” she says. I can clearly hear the fervor that laces her words.

  “Okay, I’ll text you when I get to work and see how the day rolls.”

  “Fine, stay tuned.” She giggles. “Love ya.”

  “Will do. Me too.”

  As I hang up I think about just how much I’ve really missed her, and get ready for work.

  I check my watch for the millionth time. The minute hand still insists on being stuck at the same place it was the last few times I checked it. I hardly slept last night; our redeye back landed somewhere around O’dark-thirty. I look around for some sort of diversion that will keep me from dozing off. How embarrassing it would be to do just that, seated at one of the front rows, during the company’s quarterly review, when the CEO is in the middle of a speech, with a clear view of my seat. I flinch when I feel a vibration in my back pocket, and when I check my phone, I see that Daniel is trying to call me. Reluctantly I press “decline” and resume my desperate hunt for a distraction, til my eyes rest on the snack table at the other end of the room. Gawwwwwd, coffee… The blessed roasted drink would
be my absolute savior right now, but I can't just stand up and walk over there when the head of the company is monologuing, patting her own shoulder in a kind of trance. My phone, which I'm now holding against my thigh with my palm, vibrates and flickers through the cracks of my fingers, announcing an incoming message.

  When I open the message I can’t restrain the snicker that escapes my mouth and quickly try to cover it with a short cough. Some heads beside me turn to look my way and I excuse myself with a coy shrug. Eagerly turning back to my phone, I expand the image with a quick swipe to get a closer look at Daniel’s sexy scarred lip. I respond with a wide grin threatening to crack my face in half.

  ???

  Daniel: A promo, baby, for the premiere featuring my mouth and you tonight.

  One text message and all my nerves stand at attention.

  I will be camping outside Seacliff to secure a ticket.

  Daniel: Don't bother; you’ve got center bed seat...

  Not a blink of an eye later.

  Daniel: Now return a favor!

  My inner smile blossoms, and I look around. People seem to be engaged in this speech, I think to myself. Perhaps I should try to listen. But before I give that a try I covertly check that no one is looking my way and nonchalantly slide my phone, camera mode on, under my loose camisole and take a snap. I'm glad I have my red bra on today. I pray to any of the almighty gods on duty that the flash blinking through the fabric was noticeable to me and me alone. Goodness, what people would make of this.

  I slide my phone back in the same casual way and check out the results, pleased.

  Reciprocating…

  Daniel: Room full of people and I am grinning to myself. You’ve got me appreciating technology like I never thought possible.