Loved Bayou (Martin Family Book 1)

by Brooke St. James

  We had a receptionist downstairs at the main entrance named Carla, and I heard her buzz my phone while I was looking over an invoice from one of our distributors.

  "Whatcha got, Carla?" I asked, pushing the button on my office phone.

  "There's a gentleman here to see you. He said his name is Jacob."

  "Send him up," I said, with no hesitation whatsoever.

  "He's asking if you can come out here," she said. "He said Larry's in the car."

  I smiled, knowing by the tone and Carla's voice she had no idea who Larry was. "Tell him I'll be right there," I said.

  I crossed immediately to the mirror that was hanging on my wall just to make sure I wasn't going down there with a sprig of hair standing straight up or a poppy seed between my teeth.

  I hadn't expected to see Jacob, so instead of dressing up for work, I had on some skinny jeans and a t-shirt that said Martin Outfitters across the chest. I straightened my hair and checked my teeth before headed downstairs to talk to him. I was nervous and couldn't help but wonder why he was there. I thought maybe since he had Larry with him, he was bringing him to a dog park in New Orleans or something.

  "He said he would meet you outside," Carla said when she saw me get off the elevator.

  I nodded and smiled, planning on heading directly for the door, but before I made it out, she said, "You know who he looks like?"

  "Who?" I asked, stopping to look back at her before I reached the door.

  "That guy who's dad was the—"

  I cut her off before she could say anymore.

  "He is him." I said unapologetically. I smiled like none of this was a big deal. "He's good friends with our family. Cole and Cam have known him since they were kids."

  "Really?" she asked, sounding surprised. "I didn't know they were from around here."

  "They weren't, but he lives here now."

  "Really?" she asked again, scrunching up her face like she thought everything I was saying was odd. "Is he your new man?" she asked.

  I hesitated before nodding imperceptibly as I opened the door to go outside. "Something like that," I said, smiling from over my shoulder as I closed the door.

  Jacob was standing in a little patch of grass near the parking lot with Larry on a leash. It was bright out, and he had on sunglasses. They only complimented his face, and I smiled, seeing the word CRUSH flash in front of me in bubble letters again.

  "What are you two doing here?" I asked, smiling broadly. As I stepped closer, I could see that Larry was panting like crazy. I reached down to rub him behind the ears. "Have you been running a marathon, boy?" I asked, cooing at him.

  Jacob breathed a laugh. "He's devastated," he said. "He hates road trips."

  I stood up and glanced at Jacob, keeping my hand on Larry's head. "Why'd you bring him?" I asked.

  "Because I'm not going back home," Jacob said. "At least not right away. That's what I came to talk to you about."

  My heart was in the middle of sinking when Cole pulled up in the parking lot right next to the grassy spot where Jacob and I were standing. He had obviously seen us and parked there on purpose so he could talk to us.

  "You're leaving?" I asked as Cole's door opened and he got out.

  I could tell by Jacob's expression that the answer was 'yes', and my heart was already feeling broken because of it.

  "What are you doing here?" Cole asked, looking at Jacob.

  "I stopped by to talk to Alex."

  Cole tilted his head and stared at us like he was just realizing something might be going on between us.

  "I was going to call you," Jacob said to Cole. "I'm going to Maine for a week or two. I thought maybe between you and Alex, you could go by the place to take care of the chickens and ducks."

  "Of course," Cole said.

  "I left instructions on a piece of paper in the shed. It's about ten minutes a day of responsibility, if you don't mind working it out between the two of you."

  "No problem. I could do it everyday if Alex doesn't want to worry about it," Cole said. "Do I get to keep the eggs?"

  "Of course," Jacob said, smiling. "I want you to—and I really appreciate it."

  It was a lot for me to take in, so I didn't say anything right away, but I knew I wouldn't be leaving the job to Cole.

  "I already took care of them today, but if you guys can work it out starting tomorrow…"

  Jacob hesitated, and Cole cut in. "No problem," he said. He gave Jacob a small salute saying he was heading inside. "Have a good trip," he said, not asking why he was going to Maine, like a typical man.

  "Thank you," Jacob said.

  "I'll see you inside," I said, letting Cole know I was planning on staying there with Jacob so he'd be on his way.

  Cole gave us a nod and took off for the office building.

  "Maine, huh?" I asked when Cole was far enough away not to overhear.

  "I didn't mean to tell you like that, but I wanted to ask him about the chickens while I had him here."

  "It's fine," I said. "I just didn't realize you were leaving town."

  "I didn't realize it either, till last night."

  I gave him a curious look that said I wanted him to continue.

  "Alex, I'm not the person you need," he said sincerely. There was such regret to his voice that I had the distinct feeling he was breaking up with me. My heart literally hurt—there was a miserable, dull ache the second he said those words. He reached out and put his hand on my arm. "Don't," he said. He was talking about the tears that were filling my eyes. I blinked them away, staring up for a second. My movement caused me to pull my arm away from his grasp, which was better anyway, given the nature of our conversation.

  "Alex," he said, touching the side of my face to try to get me to look at him. "I'm not that person yet, but I'm trying to be. I'm trying to see if I can be at least."

  "I have no idea what that means," I said.

  "It means I need to figure out what's going on with me before we can see if I'm the person you need."

  I put a hand to my chest. "I'm the one who says who I need," I said.

  He smiled patiently at me as he shook his head. "I'm not that person right now, Alex," he said sadly. "I'm trying to be, and I sort of think it might be possible, but I'm not that person yet. I thought I would wash my hands of the church and God, but I keep thinking about what you said about Him leading me here." He paused and sighed. "Every time you're at my house, I tell myself we're taking it slow, and you're just my friend, but that's not the truth, and we both know it."

  There was a breeze, and the front part of his hair where it was a little longer, flew around, catching my eye. I reached up to smooth it down.

  "Like that," he said. "You touch me just to fix my hair, and I feel like… my body… I don't want to be just friends with you, Alex."

  "I don't want to be just friends with you either," I said as if all our problems were solved.

  "But I want to deserve you," he said.

  "I decide that," I said convincingly, holding my hand to my chest.

  He shook his head regretfully. "I have to work some stuff out," he said. "I'll be gone for a week or two, maybe more. I'll be in touch about the chickens, but don't stress if you can't get by there. They'll make it on bugs if you forget."

  I felt heartbroken and nervous that he had to go. I wondered if he was taking care of something legal or something within himself. "Is this about your dad or about you?" I asked.

  "Both," he said.

  I stood there thinking he might elaborate, but he didn't. "I'll take care of the chickens," I said. "Just please take care of yourself and get back to me."

  "Alex," he said, touching my cheek. "If I don't come back, it's not because I don't love you."

  "If you don't come back?" I asked, latching onto the part of that sentence that had my heart feeling like it had just been run over by an eighteen-wheeler. "Why would you not come back?"

  He was quiet for a second before responding. "If I can't be with you, then
I'm not gonna—" he trailed off because I spun on my heels, turning around. I tossed my hands into the air, feeling totally flustered. "Alex, I love you too much to let you settle for the person I am right now. You deserve someone who's gonna go to your family dinners and your church picnics with you—someone who's gonna go to all the little league games and not send his dog to chase off unsuspecting visitors. You need someone better than me."

  "And you think a week-long trip to Maine is just gonna solve everything?" I asked, fearing the worst.

  "It'll be a start," he said. "I need to clear my head," he said. "I was holding you last night before you left, and I felt like I didn't want to let you go—like I wanted you with me forever." He paused, sighing. "It's too much too fast," he said. "Especially, with me being in this off sort of mindset."

  I wanted to tell him how ridiculous he was being, and that I would help him work through all his stuff. I wanted to beg him to reconsider his trip and tell him I didn't need him to come with me to family dinners or little league games. I wanted to say all those things, but as heartbreaking as it was, I knew he needed to go. "I hope you come back," I said, glancing down since I couldn't bear to look at him.

  "I hope I come back, too," he said, using his finger to tilt my chin up.

  I pulled back just enough to make us break contact. His touch sent electricity shooting through me, and right then, I wasn't in the mood to experience it.

  "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry this all seems so dysfunctional. I didn't anticipate meeting you when I moved out to the middle of nowhere. This whole situation caught me off guard."

  "It's not dysfunctional," I said. "It's our lives—our story. The things that led us up to this point are just our story. Everything we've been through got us where we are now."

  He sighed again before tugging at Larry's leash. "We better go," he said. "I was hoping to make it to Knoxville today, but there's no way."

  "Be careful," I said.

  "I will."

  I reached down to pet Larry, who was still panting nervously. "You bring your daddy back home to Louisiana, okay boy?" I put my ear toward him as if waiting for an answer. "He said y'all are coming back," I said, even though I didn't quite feel like being playful.

  Jacob rubbed Larry's head. "He likes Louisiana," he said. Larry just stared straight ahead in a traumatized way that said he didn't like it very much at the moment.

  "I'll see you in a week," I said, with a little hopeful smile. Jacob smiled and lifted his chin to me as he started walking to his truck.

  I took a few steps in the opposite direction toward my office building. "You said you loved me," I said, turning around to look at him from over my shoulder. There was no one else in the parking lot, and I couldn't resist.

  "Because I do," he said, opening the passenger's door for Larry.

  A wave of hopefulness washed over me at the sound of his words. "Come back," I said, smiling as I continued to walk away.

  He didn't answer. He just smiled at me with a little wave before he crossed to the other side of the truck.

  Chapter 17

  I went inside the office building and finished the last bit of work I had for the day, but I was preoccupied the whole time, thinking about the conversation I had with Jacob in the parking lot. I tried to remember what he said, but that was difficult since my own thoughts and emotions kept getting in the way.

  The worst part about it was that I didn't know if he would come back. He was a good person, and if he thought I'd be better off without him he would leave, even if it hurt us both. I missed him like crazy already, and he hadn't even been gone one day. I thought back to what he told me in the parking lot, and I was pretty sure he said that I was the reason he was going to Maine in the first place, which was crazy since all I wanted him to do was stay home.

  I felt like drowning my sorrows, so I stopped by Ty's on my way home to get a Coke Icee and at least one snack.

  "There's Ms. Alex," Shonda called when the front door dinged as I opened it.

  "What's up, Shonda?" I said from across the way. I was trying to act like nothing was bothering me, but Jacob's absence and our uncertain future hung over me like a dark cloud.

  "You'll never believe who came in here earlier today," she said, wiping the bar in a huge sweeping motion since nobody was sitting up there. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I thought it was Shonda's day off, and I was sort of surprised to see her. I actually really didn't feel in the mood to chat—I just wanted to get in, get an Icee, and get out.

  "Who?" I asked, being nice.

  "Jacob," she said with wide eyes, still wiping the place in front of me. "Jacob Fox. The guy who moved in down the—"

  "I know what Jacob you mean," I said, stopping her in mid-sentence. "Can I get a pepperjack ball?" I continued, since I was on-edge at the mention of his name, and I wanted to say something normal. Shonda tossed the towel to the side so she could get my food out of the warmer.

  She absentmindedly used the tongs to put one single boudin ball in a tiny paper bag as she regarded me with wide eyes. "He was nice," she said, as if she couldn't quite believe it.

  "He was?"

  She nodded. "So nice. Like a different person."

  During a conversation I had with Jacob, I had described Shonda and told him a little bit about her, including how she had grown up with abusive parents. I wondered if that had anything to do with his change in demeanor.

  "He came in to get some ice," she said. "He got a cup of coffee and some boudin, too." She paused and lifted her eyebrows. "And I think he might have a thing for someone I know," she said, raising her eyebrows over and over the whole time she spoke.

  I tried to keep from smiling, but I couldn't help it. "Who?" I asked, feeling nervous and giddy like we were in middle school.

  "Someone named Alex Martin!" she said with wide eyes, leaning over the bar and reaching out to push at me with the same hand that was holding the paper bag.

  "Why do you say that?" I asked, feeling like I wanted to giggle.

  "Because he asked me what I knew about you."

  "He did what?" I asked, scrunching up my face.

  Shonda nodded, looking over my shoulder at whoever had just walked in. She waved at them before focusing on me again. Her face was serious as she pointed right at one of the stools at the bar. "He sat right there and talked to me for what must have been ten minutes," she said. "And eight of it was all about you."

  "What?" I asked, shaking my head and giggling as I covered my face with my hand.

  "He was asking me all about you. I told him about the time you gave yourself an eraser burn and your leg got all infected."

  "No, you did not!" I said.

  She smiled like she'd really done something good. "I also told him about Dustin videoing himself kissing you and playing it for the whole school."

  "That wasn't even me!" I said, "That was Wynn."

  "I know, I just wanted to see if it would make him jealous. I figured he was asking all those questions because he liked you."

  "Did it?" I asked.

  "Did it what?"

  "Make him jealous?"

  She nodded. "I think it did. He asked me if Dustin still lived here. She continued to wipe the counter in front of me as I giggled. "I didn't tell him that Will's the one he should be worried about." Shonda was referring to the guy I dated for two years in high school. We were ancient history obviously, but Shonda still put us together for some reason.

  "He should definitely not be worried about Will," I said. I took the bag, planning on paying for it on the other side after I got my Icee.

  "Do you like him?" she asked, looking at me like she was really curious.

  I nodded.

  "You really like him, don't you?" she asked, looking directly at me.

  I kept nodding.

  "I thought you said he kicked you off his property."

  "He did the first time, but I've hung out with him several other times after that."

  "What do you mean by
hang out? Like you go to his house?"

  I shrugged. "Or he comes to mine."

  "Is he your boyfriend?" she asked gawking at me. I shook my head, and glanced down. "He's not even sure how long he's staying in Louisiana," I said, just in case he didn't come back.

  "Are you going over there now?" she asked.

  I shook my head. "He's in Maine for a while."

  She could see I was trying to walk away, so she smiled and waved.

  "Well, he's definitely sweet on you, Ms. Alex," she said, finally putting the towel away.

  I waved back before turning to walk across Ty's to the Icee machine, and I ran smack-dab into Caleb Reeves. "Goodness, Caleb," I said, nearly tripping over him. He remembered me from the conversation I had with him previously, so he just looked down, kind of purposefully ignoring me. I rolled my eyes as he walked away, thinking I wish his mama would teach him some manners.

  I didn't talk to Jacob all evening. Part of me thought he would call or text when he stopped for the night, but he didn't. I decided to try to forget about him till I heard something. Obviously, that didn't work, but at least I wasn't obsessing about him. I innately knew he was doing his best to come back to me, and that's all I could ask for.

  I went to his house the following morning to feed the chickens, and I was shocked and confused at what I found. There were the remains of a bonfire in his side yard next to his driveway. As I walked over to it, I could see that the ashes at the very center were still smoldering. I stared at it, feeling confused.

  The first thing I did was call my cousin, Cole. "Did you start a fire over here last night?" I asked when I heard him pick up the phone.

  "Where?" he asked.

  "At Jacob's."

  "No. Why would I do that?" he asked. "Was there a fire?"

  "The house looks fine, but someone lit a bonfire out here. There's some beer cans, and the ashes are still smoking a little."

  "Well, I wasn't out there."