The Back of Beyond

by Doris Davidson

  As Alistair said, much later, ‘Puke’s not really so bad, is it? But we’ll have to watch him. He picks up every damned thing he hears.’

  ‘Remember that, then.’ Gwen’s eyes suddenly clouded. ‘You’re not really thinking of going into the army, are you?’

  ‘Yes, I am. Dunkirk has set the country back. The army needs replacements for the men who were lost.’

  ‘Please, Alistair, don’t go. Look at what Marge’s had to put up with these last few days. Do you want to put your children and me through the same agonies?’

  After a pause, he mumbled, ‘If it wasn’t for you three, I’d have been off months ago.’

  ‘But you still have us.’

  ‘That won’t stop me from being called up, you know. In fact, I’m surprised they haven’t done it already. I registered with the over-twenties.’

  ‘You’ll soon be twenty-seven. Surely they’ll have enough without taking you?’

  Her eyes were so distressed that he pulled her into his arms, and, whether it was a result of the eventful day he’d had or not, he found himself wanting her more acutely than he had done for years.

  ‘I bet Dougal and Marge will have been …’ she whispered afterwards.

  ‘I doubt it.’ Alistair ran his fingers down her neck. ‘I don’t think Dougal’s up to it yet, but once he comes to himself properly, then …!’

  ‘I wonder if all the worry they’ve had will make a difference? I know they’re both desperate for a baby, and this might have done the trick. What do you think?’

  ‘I’ve no idea.’ Alistair wished that she hadn’t brought up this subject. With all the upheaval and uncertainty in the world, he hoped that he hadn’t made his wife pregnant a few minutes ago. They had a big enough struggle to make ends meet as it was, what with the rent to pay, and gas and electricity. This old house was a killer in the winter, and coal was getting dearer and dearer as well as scarcer and scarcer. He couldn’t expect Manny Isaacson to give him more wages; what the shop was taking in barely covered the old man’s expenses as it was.

  Afraid that Gwen would expect him to make love to her again, he gave her a quick kiss, said, ‘Good night, dear,’ and turned away. The only safe method of contraception was to keep well away from your wife in bed.

  Chapter 12

  The Battle of Britain, as it came to be known, was over at last, the little Hurricanes and Spitfires had pluckily repelled the enemy’s attempts to blow our airfields and all our aircraft to smithereens. Yet despite this unexpected and insulting defeat, Hitler was still set on beating the British into submission. The Luftwaffe’s heavy bombers were sent in – the Dorniers, the Focke-Wulfs, and thus began the Blitzkrieg.

  Civilians now found themselves in the front line. Not only the Home Guard, air-raid wardens, ambulance drivers, firemen, medical staff, munitions workers, but those merely going about their daily business. This was when the true meaning of war was brought home to the man (and woman) in the street. Being the capital, London took the brunt of the raids at first, night after night of bombs screaming down, night after night spent in the large shelters built by the councils, or in Anderson shelters provided for back gardens, or Morrison shelters intended for those confined to the house but who were often too afraid to make use of them in case they were trapped inside like mice.

  There were some, of course, who relied instead on their own makeshift boltholes – under the stairs, in a narrow lobby, in the cellar, even just under a table – and those who made a point of ‘not giving in to the murdering bastards’, who did nothing when the howling of the alert sirens rent the air. As the days passed, and they saw the havoc that was being wrought, the devastation the bombers were wreaking, their bravado was replaced by rationality or, more likely, by the need for self-preservation.

  Night after night, Alistair Ritchie had helped his wife to carry the food and blankets she had laid out ready to take with them to the council shelter just along the street, where they and their neighbours tried to take the children’s minds off the bombs by playing games with them and singing songs. Neither of these methods were 100% effective, especially when the terrifying sounds of explosions came nearer and louder. At times like these, every single person shook with fear, youngsters sobbing and clutching their mothers, who prayed while they held them that it would end soon.

  ‘I don’t know what to do, Manny.’ Alistair Ritchie shook his head viciously as if that would dispel the worries he had. ‘It looks like Jerry’s trying to bomb us into submission now, and Gwen still won’t hear of going to Forvit with the kids.’ He paused, then went on hesitantly, ‘Could you have a word with her, please? She’d listen to you.’

  Laying down the pocket watch, an heirloom, which he was repairing as a favour to an elderly neighbour, Manny removed the little magnifying glass from his eye and regarded his manager sadly. ‘I am sorry, Alistair, but I could not take that upon myself. It is entirely, up to you, but let me warn you, my boy. Women are fickle creatures, and if they feel that they are being forced into something, they will fight against it.’ He picked up the magnifying glass, but before fitting it into his eye, he cleared his throat. ‘Um … I take it that you … still love her, hmm? You do not have what they call the seven-year itch?’

  ‘Oh, no! I’ve never stopped loving her!’

  ‘And I know that she has never stopped loving you. That is good. There must always be love there for a marriage to survive, but you must persuade her to change her mind … and soon.’ He replaced the glass, retrieved the watch and the subject was closed.

  ‘I hear your Sam’s joined the Air Force,’ Lexie remarked to her friend.

  Alice Guthrie sighed heavily. ‘I couldn’t talk him out of it this time. He just went to Aberdeen and signed up, and he’s got to report at Padgate on Monday. He’s just a big bairn really, thinking he’ll get to fly an aeroplane some day, though I’ve kept telling him he hasn’t got the brains to be a pilot.’

  ‘He’ll be a lot safer on the ground, at any rate. It’s a wonder to me your Alistair hasn’t joined up. With Dougal Finnie just getting away from Dunkirk by the skin of his teeth, I’d have thought he’d be itching to do his bit and all.’

  Alice’s shrug was hardly worthy of the name. ‘There was no word of it in Gwen’s last letter. She says he doesn’t want to leave Manny, but no doubt he’ll be called up shortly.’

  ‘Lizzie Wilkie was saying the first lot of troops are to be arriving at Ardley before Christmas, so Hogmanay should be a bit brighter than we thought.’

  ‘For you, maybe, not for me. Even if Sam gets home, I’ll still be stuck in the house with wee Morag. He’s always gone out boozing with his pals about seven o’clock, and he comes home too drunk to remember anything about seeing in the New Year.’

  ‘You’d started on the wrong foot with him,’ Lexie laughed. ‘You should have let him see on your wedding night it was the end of him being a single man. But that’s your own business, and if there’s any soldier-boys going about the place, I’ll tell you all about it if I manage to click with one.’

  ‘Well, thanks,’ Alice said, heavily sarcastic, ‘and have me green with jealousy?’ But she was laughing as she left the shop.

  Lexie, however, wasn’t laughing. Her last chance of, perhaps not going as far as getting a husband, at least getting some fun out of life, lay with the men who would be arriving at Ardley House some time in the near future. Rumour had it that there would be over two hundred, and there certainly had been dozens of large Nissen huts erected in the grounds, so she should have plenty to choose from. And, as Lizzie Wilkie had pointed out, there weren’t that many girls left in Forvit now. A lot of the younger ones were in uniform themselves, branching away from their humdrum existences and going out to find adventure for themselves. She had considered following their lead, but it would have meant giving up the shop her father had worked so hard to establish …

  Her father. He was the centre of so much of her thoughts. She had almost learned to accept that he had run
away to be with Nancy Lawrie – not Margaret Birnie, that had been a daft idea – but another, far more distressing explanation had occurred to her the other night and she couldn’t get it out of her head.

  Maybe Nancy hadn’t gone away at all! Maybe Alec Fraser had offered to pay for an abortion, but she had refused and threatened to tell the whole village if he didn’t support her and the infant when it was born. Knowing that his life would be in ruins if she did, he might have lashed out in his anger and accidentally knocked her off her feet. She could have hit her head on a stone and when he tried to help her up, he had discovered that she was dead. He would have been aghast at what he had done, but his first thought would be to protect himself, to hide the body.

  Lexie’s troubled mind blotted out the actual disposal and picked up the story where it had crossed Alec’s mind that one or more of the other choir members might have known about him and Nancy … even about his indiscretion. His overruling instinct then would be to escape, to flee from the aftermath of his crime.

  ‘A penny for them, Lexie. You was miles awa.’

  Startled, she looked up into the inquisitive eyes of Mattie Wilkie and forced a smile. ‘Alice Ritchie was saying Sam’s joined the Air Force, then we got speaking about the soldiers coming to Ardley, and I was just thinking …’

  A sly grin spread over the older woman’s face. ‘Was you hopin’ to get a lad? My Lizzie’s the same, but she’s younger than you. You’d best pull your socks up if you’re nae wantin’ to be left on the shelf. Now, can I get a quarter o’ tea and a half loaf, for I clean run oot and Joe’ll be hame for his denner in ten minutes.’

  Lexie was thankful that the woman was in a hurry, she usually hung about hoping to have a gossip with the next customer. She had an edge to her tongue though she meant nothing by it, yet she shouldn’t have said that about being left on the shelf. She would have to find a lad soon, Lexie told herself, and not be too choosy. What was more, she’d have to put what she’d been thinking about her father completely out of her mind. It was just a lot of nonsense. He’d been a good-living man, and even if he had slipped with Nancy Lawrie, he’d have owned up to his responsibility and taken the consequences. In any case, what was the point of dwelling on it? It wouldn’t change what had happened.

  Alistair kept pressing Gwen to take their children away but, adamant that it would be giving in to the enemy, she still held out against it, until one Sunday morning in January 1941, when they emerged into the open air to find that the house behind theirs had been damaged. The bomb had actually fallen in the roadway, but the blast had practically sheared off the entire side yet left the gable of the next house intact.

  Looking out at the pile of rubble and realizing what a narrow escape they’d had themselves, Gwen at last questioned if she had been doing the right thing. Leila and David were pale and haggard, jumping nervously at the slightest noise, and she was to blame by being so stubborn. It wasn’t fair to keep them in London when most of their chums had been sent away again. Only a few stragglers were left, those with mothers as stupid as she was.

  Not surprisingly, while they were preparing to make their usual Sunday visit to Lee Green, Alistair told her that he’d had enough. ‘I’m writing to Alice tonight and that’s final! And I don’t want any nonsense from you about not going. I want the three of you out of London, and you’ll stay away until I say you can come back. Do you understand what I’m saying?’

  It was Rosie who wondered, when they told her what they were proposing, if Marge would also be welcome at Forvit. ‘Your sister knows her, Alistair, so I’m sure she wouldn’t object to taking Dougal’s wife along with yours.’

  Gwen put her finger on the one flaw in this arrangement. ‘Who would look after you, then? Peg’s out at work all day, and you can’t manage by yourself.’

  ‘If she left things for me to heat up, I’d manage perfectly well,’ Rosie declared.

  ‘If we ask Alf,’ Peggy put in, colouring a little, ‘I’m sure he’d look in now and then. He’s got a dicky heart, and he feels bad about not being fit for any of the services or anything. Checking on Mum, he wouldn’t feel so useless.’

  Gwen did make a tentative effort to get her mother to go to Scotland with them, but Rosie wasn’t having that. ‘I’m not letting that cocky little German clown put me out of my home. When I leave, it’ll be feet first!’

  This didn’t make her daughters feel any easier. As Gwen said to Alistair later, ‘She should have years ahead of her yet, but if she stops in Lee Green …’ Realizing that this was the argument he had used to her, she said, softly, ‘OK, you’d better write to Alice.’

  An answer came by return, saying that they were all welcome, for as long as was necessary. ‘Sam’s been trying to get somewhere for me and Morag to stay,’ her letter went on. ‘He’s stationed at Turnhouse, and I’ve been worried about leaving Benview empty, but with Gwen and Marge here to look after it, I can go with an easy mind.’

  ‘Alistair’s wife and kids are coming here to get away from the raids,’ Alice told Lexie when she went to cash her RAF allotment. ‘They’ve hardly been out of the shelter for weeks and weeks, poor souls. He can’t give up his job, of course, but Marge, that’s Gwen’s sister, she’s coming with them. Well, I’d better get back, for I’ve things to get ready and they’ll be here tomorrow forenoon.’

  Nothing fazed Lexie for the rest of the day, not even the grumpiest of grumpy old folk who came in to collect their pensions and wanted to chat though there was a long queue waiting behind them. She was normally flagging more than an hour before closing time, but this wasn’t a normal day, and she locked the shop door jauntily at six o’clock and walked through to the house with a spring in her step.

  If Alistair’s wife and kids were going to be staying at Benview for any length of time, she thought, as she lit the gas ring under the kettle, he would have to come to visit them at some point. It must be almost nine years since he was married, and the magic was bound to have worn off. It might be worth while to make friends with his bairns. The way to a doting father’s heart would surely lie through his children, wouldn’t it?

  Her mood changed suddenly. What the devil was she thinking of? Alistair Ritchie hadn’t figured in her plans for a long time now … and there was still the long-awaited arrival of the troops to look forward to.

  ‘It’s worked out fine,’ Alistair told Manny after seeing his family off at King’s Cross. ‘Alice is glad they’ll be in the house to keep it heated, and it’s a big relief to me. Marge has rented out their house, and Rosie says I should give up ours and move in with her, but I don’t want to upset Peg. I think there’s something between her and Alf Pryor next door, and it’d be a shame if I spoiled it for her. She’s never kept a boyfriend long before, and Alf’s a really nice bloke though he must be nearly twenty years older than her.’

  ‘If she loves him,’ Manny observed, shrewdly, ‘twenty years is a mere nothing. But what have you decided, Alistair?’

  ‘I’m going to stay where I am. Lee Green’s too far for me to travel every day.’

  Manny made no comment, and Alistair wondered if the old man had realized why he hadn’t volunteered for the forces as he’d spoken about after Dunkirk. When he’d had time to think, his affection for his employer had been stronger than his wish to have a go at the Germans. He couldn’t leave poor Manny in the lurch.

  Alice Guthrie was shocked when she beheld the little group trailing off the bus – two women and two children, all looking like … oh, she couldn’t find words to describe them. Rushing forward, she clasped the boy and girl to her breast. ‘You poor wee lambs! Was it a terrible journey?’ Letting them go, she took the bags they were carrying and led the way along the rough track to Benview. ‘I hope you’re not too tired, there’s a good bit to walk,’ she apologized. ‘And I bet you’ll all be ready for a cup of tea once we get in?’

  Getting no response from any of them, and thinking how sunken their eyes had been and how they’d looked as if they did
n’t care what happened to them, she came to the conclusion that what they needed most was peace and quiet.

  ‘Come upstairs and I’ll show you where you’ll be sleeping,’ she said when they entered the house. ‘I’ve taken Morag in with me so Leila can have her room. Gwen and Marge, you can have the other double bedroom, if you don’t mind sharing, and David’s in what we call the boxroom, but I’ve cleared it out and he should be quite comfy.’

  She showed, the girl and boy their rooms first, saying, ‘Don’t worry about anything. Just get undressed and into your beds, and I’ll take up a tray with something to eat.’

  ‘No,’ Gwen said, wearily, as Alice ushered Marge and her along the landing. ‘They won’t want anything and neither do we … thanks. We had sandwiches with us on the train, and flasks of tea, so we’re not hungry.’

  After standing for a few minutes watching the two women unpacking some things until they found their nightdresses, Alice said, ‘I’ll leave you to it, then. The bathroom’s next door to you. Sam had it put in over a year ago – another room we never used.’

  Before going downstairs, she looked in at Leila and wasn’t altogether surprised to find her already asleep as was David, when she peeped round his door. Poor wee devils, she thought, compassionately. It was going to take all four of them a good while to get over their terrible ordeal.

  * * *

  Even in the shelter with all the noise going on, Alistair slept better that night than he had done for some time, and guessed it was because he didn’t have to worry about his family any more, just himself. He emerged into the daylight with a light heart. His house was still standing and there didn’t seem to be any damage near them as far as he could see. He boiled the kettle to have a wash, then made himself some tea and toast. The house was so quiet, though. He missed the chatter of his children, his wife’s constant urging at them to hurry up and get dressed.

  On his way to work, he discovered that the bombers hadn’t been all that far away the night before. Many of the buildings he passed had been damaged by blasts that had completely destroyed others, and as he went on, it became more difficult to get through. He was almost sick with apprehension when he neared the end of Manny’s street, and his legs faltered when he rounded the corner and saw that the pawnshop was no longer there.