The Perfect Distance

by Kim Ablon Whitney

  “I needed this, Francie,” Tara said. “You don’t know how much I needed this win.”

  Still shaking, I walked Tobey forward and halted in front of a man in a crisp navy suit who pinned the red ribbon on Tobey’s bridle. Tobey turned his head to the side and glanced back at me. And right then, instead of crying, I started to smile. In that moment, as Tobey looked back at me, I realized I didn’t need to win. Not like Tara thought she did. Not like Rob thought he did. Maybe Tara had won because she was a better rider, or maybe it had just been her day. But I had ridden my heart out and done things the right way. Whether I went to college or turned professional right away, I had learned to believe in myself.

  I reached down to hug Tobey. More than anything else, I was so proud of all that we had achieved together. No one had ever thought we’d get this far. As I let go and walked him back to line, the announcer’s voice raised a decibel. Goose bumps rose up on my arms.

  “And winning the ASPCA Maclay Finals . . . Miss Tara Barnes.”

  Samantha Potter, last year’s champion, was there to present this year’s award. She looked so different out of her riding clothes. She wore a dark pantsuit, and her blond hair brushed her shoulders. I hadn’t seen her since this time last year, and I remembered she was a freshman at Vassar now.

  Tara led the victory gallop with me behind her. For once I didn’t mind being second to her. I looked at the beautiful red ribbon fluttering on Tobey’s bridle as I cantered and felt I had achieved all that I wanted. As I passed the in gate, I saw Dad and Camillo leaning into the ring cheering wildly.

  When I came out of the ring, Rob was waiting for me. “Great ride,” he said. “I’m proud of you.”

  I looked him straight in the eye.

  “Thanks,” I managed, surprised that his words could still mean something to me after what I now knew about him.

  Epilogue

  * * *

  It was finals time again. I took the bus from Skidmore, where I was at college, to the Albany airport and flew to Kentucky to watch the Maclay Finals. I waited at the airport in Lexington for Katie. Her flight from LaGuardia was delayed and she showed up a half hour late, in jeans and a black long- sleeved shirt, looking skinnier than I’d ever seen her before.

  “I thought you gave up Weight Watchers,” I said as I hugged her hello.

  “I did.”

  “You look amazing.”

  Katie did a little twirl and grinned. “I guess that’s what love’ll do.” Katie was at NYU now and was still planning to go to the Fashion Institute of Technology after graduation. She had met Ben in her freshman English class, and according to her it was love at first sight. “Sorry I was late,” she said. “You look great, too—all dressed up.”

  I had put on a skirt that fell just past my knees and a new sweater I’d bought on a mini–shopping excursion with some of my friends from school. I had a part-time job at the campus bookstore. It wasn’t as tiring as working in the barn, but it wasn’t as fun either. Still, it helped me pay for my books, and sometimes I had a little left over.

  Katie and I talked nonstop on the way to the Horse Park. When we got there, riders in breeches and boots passed us, some we knew and new faces, too.

  Katie said, “This is kind of weird, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah,” I agreed, glad that Katie was there to share it with me.

  We went to the stalls first and found Dad. “There’s my college girl,” he said, hugging me tight. Camillo and Pablo were there, too, and they asked me all about school, even though I knew Dad reported to them everything about what I was doing.

  “Have you seen Tobey?” I asked him.

  After I did so well with him, Rob had sold him. He knew he was hard to ride and figured he should get what money he could for him, which was typical Rob. The day before he left the farm for his new barn, I took him for a last hack around the fields, trying to imprint in my brain just how he felt at the walk, trot, and canter. Then I took him for some grass, and finally I spent over an hour with him in his stall, trying to say good-bye. I waited for it to feel right, for something to hit me so I could kiss him and leave. I decided that saying good-bye to Tobey and that part of my life would never feel right. Even if I waited forever, the moment would never come. I just had to do it—kiss him, wrap my arms around him, bury my face in his neck—and walk out without looking back.

  “Not yet,” Dad said.

  The class was just about to start, and I asked him if he needed any help.

  He gave me a look and said, “And what? Get you all dirty? No way. Go watch. Enjoy being a spectator for once.”

  As Katie and I headed up to the stands, I wasn’t sure I could enjoy being a spectator. After what had happened with Rob, I decided to go to college. In lots of ways it had been nice to concentrate on school over the last few months and have a regular life. I lived in a suite with three other girls, and we had all become good friends. We stayed up too late watching TV and movies, talked about boys, went to campus parties—all the things I’d skipped in high school. But then I started to miss the part of me that was connected to the finals. I hadn’t given up my dream of turning pro; I’d only put it on hold.

  I’d been riding for the school team, and in the summer I was planning on working for Susie, who’d started her own stable in Westchester after she left Rob and West Hills a few months after the Maclay Finals. I wasn’t sure what I was going to do when I graduated—but that was a long way off. I had a feeling I’d be back in the horse world again, but if not, like Dad said, I’d have a solid education to fall back on.

  Katie and I sank down into seats near the in gate and watched the first few rounds.

  “Does this feel surreal or is it just me?” I asked her, thinking about how strange it was not to have to go get on or to focus on how to ride the course.

  “Totally surreal.”

  Gwenn entered the ring on Finch, and I saw Rob for the first time since I’d left for school. I still wished somehow people had found out about what Rob had done. No one but Colby, Dad, and I would ever know. Maybe Susie knew, too. Maybe that was why she left Rob. Rob finished building the new indoor, put his mother in a fancy nursing home, hired a new assistant trainer when Susie left, and went on with life. I still thought about Stretch now and then, and Katie and I talked about him sometimes. I guess the only way I made myself feel okay was in knowing that no matter what, I’d always put my horses first and my ambitions second.

  Gwenn turned in a decent trip and Rob whooped a few times.

  “She’s gotten better,” Katie said.

  “Yeah.”

  “So, how’s Colby?”

  I could feel my face light up. Colby and I texted, Facebooked, and Skyped all the time. He was at the University of Colorado at Boulder and, to his disbelief as much as mine, he was pretty sure he was going to be pre-med. No specializing in boob jobs, though, he promised. We weren’t officially dating—we’d agreed that it didn’t make sense, since we lived two thousand miles apart. But so far neither of us had met anyone else.

  “He’s good,” I said. “I’m thinking of trying to stop and see him on the way to Mexico over Christmas break.”

  “So you’re really going?” Katie said.

  “Yup, my dad finally broke down and agreed.”

  “Look.” Katie pointed a few rows over. “Tara.”

  Tara had come today to award this year’s winner the blue ribbon. She had taken a job with a grand prix rider from Florida. She and her mother had scraped together enough money to buy a young horse with grand prix potential. Maybe someday we’d be riding against each other again, but for now I was all right with being a step behind her.

  “She looks good,” Katie said. She did look good—she had gained a little bit of weight and had cut her hair—but I was surprised Katie would say something nice about her.

  “There’s something I never told you,” Katie said, in a serious tone.

  “What?”

  “It’s so long ago now, but you know
how I’ve really gotten myself together this year and I can talk about things now, like what happened with Mike . . .”

  Katie had traded the sports shrink for a regular shrink and now, among other things, she could actually say Mike’s name. “Tara didn’t tell your dad about you and Colby . . .” Katie hesitated. “I did. I was so mad at you over Colby, but that’s no excuse. It was an awful thing to do. I’m sorry.”

  Even though it was so long ago, I was still shocked. I’d been so sure it was Tara. It had never even occurred to me that it could have been Katie. If I had found out at the time, I would have been angry, but it was all behind us now. I glanced over at Tara. “So it wasn’t Tara, huh?”

  “No,” Katie confirmed. “It was me.”

  I wished I could tell Katie about Stretch. But it would hurt her so much to know the truth and to think that maybe she could have prevented it somehow if she’d been able to convince her dad to pay for the operation and his rehab. Maybe someday I’d tell her, but not yet.

  Katie and I talked more about school and life until Tobey came into the ring. Then we fell silent. At first it was tough watching someone else ride Tobey. I tried to remember what he felt like in the air over a jump, but it was hard to recall. His new rider was small and looked tentative. She turned in a decent round until the fourth-to-last fence, when she pulled too much and chipped in. Tobey seemed unfazed by her mistake, though, and kept going like nothing had happened. He seemed to understand that she was starting from the very beginning and it was his job to help her. Maybe over the next few years she’d get there, get to where she was competitive. And maybe she’d even end up with a chance to win the finals.

  Author’s Note

  Random House first published The Perfect Distance in 2005. This new edition reflects some changes in society, such as changes in technology. Also, it reflects changes in the equitation and the horse show world in general. Special thanks to my writers group: Lynne Heitman, Mike Weicek, and Samantha Cameron. Also thanks to Maggie Dana for advice on publishing an e-book, Caranine Smith of Bigeq.com for the cover photo, Caroline Kraunelis for designing the cover, eq trainer Timmy Kees for his expert read, and other horse people and friends for their consultations and contributions including Jenny Belknap, Liz Benney, Abby Bertleson, Melissa Welch, Sean Rogers, and Jen and Jordan Stiller.

  About the Author

  Kim Ablon Whitney lives with her husband and three children in Newton, Massachusetts. In addition to writing fiction, she is a USEF ‘R’ judge in hunters, equitation, and jumpers and has officiated at the Washington International Horse Show Junior Equitation Finals, the Capital Challenge, the Winter Equestrian Festival, Lake Placid, and the Vermont Summer Festival. As a junior, she showed in the equitation, placing at the USEF Talent Search and USEF Medal Finals. She later competed as an amateur in the A/O jumpers, winning top ribbons at WEF, Lake Placid, and Devon on her self-trained off-the-track Thoroughbred. To learn more about Kim and her books, please visit www.kimablonwhitney.com.