Riot Hearts: An Enemies to Lovers Romance (Saints of Crow Book 1)

by Livy North

  If River had told them anything, I would personally kill him. Especially after that last night. I thought we’d kind of connected that night. At least, I thought we’d reached a place of mutual respect.

  Sean’s soft whistle was backed up by some oohing and whistles of his brothers and a few others who had listened in on the conversation.

  Sean wiggled his eyebrows at me. “So, you’re saying something worth hearing happened?”

  I licked my lips, biting my lower one before slowly letting it out of my mouth. “Nothing meant for your ears anyway.”

  His chest rumbled with laughter and he slapped his thigh. Twisting his upper body to look at River, his shit-eating grin was already in place. “Sinclair. Did she finally let you hit it?”

  My eyes burned and so were my cheeks. I clenched my jaw and stared wide-eyed at River. I held my breath in anticipation of his reply.

  He sucked on his teeth, his jaw moving, still keeping his body relaxed. It was impossible to anticipate what he was going to say. Would he brag or would he leave it? His eyes met mine and my heart skipped a beat. Whenever he looked at me like that—with that flare of emotion in his eyes—I didn’t know what to do.

  “If she had,” River stated flatly, “do you think she would be able to resist me now?”

  My heart sank in relief, but I rolled my eyes at the same time. Of course, he could only be decent if he complimented himself in the same sentence.

  “Well, how do we know she can?”

  My eyes flew to Brian, Sean’s younger brother, and the second oldest. What did he say?

  “What kind of childish game are you playing at now?” Sebastian chimed in, grimacing at us.

  Brian shrugged. “I just think Emory is a smart girl who wouldn’t openly throw herself at someone. That doesn’t mean she isn’t attracted to him.”

  “See, you’re talking, but I don’t hear a point,” River said, sounding utterly bored.

  “Whatever.” He rolled his eyes. “You’re both pussies anyway. Suppose you and River were together, what do you think your parents would say?”

  I opened my mouth to speak but struggled to find the words. “I… Don’t… What kind of question is that?”

  “All I’m saying is, your parents were kind of odd. They were kind of modern, unlike many of our parents. Do you think they’d approve?”

  Annoyance was riling in the pit of my stomach and I smothered a growl in my throat. “I don’t know. They are dead, does it matter?” I enunciated my words, trying to sound as detached from the fact as I could, but my eyes stung like crazy.

  I’d never been this overwhelmed by their deaths as I was then. Why did they all feel the need to talk about them when I didn’t?

  “Wait, they’re not the issue. They probably wouldn’t mind anyway. It’s Gabriel who’d flip,” Sean said, humming with amusement.

  “Ooh, yes!” Brian laughed. “Gabriel was crazy protective over you. Once I said you had a fine ass, and he gave me a black eye.”

  They laughed and shoved at each other, being stupid guys, talking about their memories of Gabriel and what they thought he’d do if he were alive.

  The lump in my throat had grown painfully big and I bit my lip, trying to distract myself. No one cared that talking about them—especially talking about Gabriel—upset me more. He was my brother, my protector, and my best friend. Even when our parents eventually died, we were supposed to have each other.

  But he was dead and everyone in this frickin’ town seemed intent on reminding me of that.

  “Could you imagine River and Gabriel in a fight?” Sean whistled into his fist. “Who’d win?”

  “I don’t know, man, but Gabriel was crazy ripped and if it was about his little sister, I think he’d take River down,” some guy from the university said.

  “You remember what he did to Peterson?” someone else said. “And he only fucked her once.”

  I had zoned out. I heard what they were saying, but I wasn’t listening. My breaths were heavy, wavering, and I had to clench my jaw to keep myself still. I searched out River, who rested his chin on his fist and watched the conversation, but he didn’t interact. He looked thoughtful, and when his eyes met mine, he kept that same unreadable expression.

  Their conversation flooded off without me. They were happily talking about me instead of with me. So when I stood and walked away, no one noticed and thank God for that because for the first time since I got the call that my family was dead, I missed them to the point that I was on the verge of crying, and I didn’t want anyone to see that.

  Because I knew most people in the city were glad that they had died.

  I took a harsh intake of breath and wrapped my arms around myself. Although it was fairly warm in the day, the October nights were cold.

  I found myself standing outside the cemetery where I buried my family two long months ago. This would be the first time I went to visit their grave since then. When I left the bonfire party, I’d felt the need to visit them—to see them in the only way I could. That was a need I hadn’t felt since they died.

  Of course, I’d been to the cemetery before, but I’d never had this kind of hard knot in my stomach. My mother and father had both been only children, and their parents died when I was too young to remember them. I had never buried someone I loved before—until them.

  Until my family was taken away from me.

  “We are sorry to inform you that it seems the corporate jet has crashed into the Atlantic with your parents and your brother Gabriel on board.”

  Thinking about the officer who got to spill the news made my stomach retch even though I willed myself to stay passive.

  I’d waited until now so I could avoid prying eyes or tabloid magazines. The Lauder name was slammed across enough papers as it was.

  Now it was dark, and I could slip in and out of hiding in the shadows. The mid-October air was crisp and stung me like acid.

  When I stood there, looking at the cemetery from outside of its walls, it felt like I had buried my family yesterday. Tears prickled the backs of my eyes, and it was the first time I experienced difficulty reining in my emotions.

  I drew in a shaky breath.

  Stepping foot onto the empty graveyard with nothing but cold gravestones staring back at me, I finally got why the main character in movies hated cemeteries.

  The place gave me the creeps, and it was as if I could feel a spider crawling up my neck. I shuddered under the chilled air, wrapping my arms around myself once more. Apparently, a trench coat over a chunky knit sweater wasn’t enough to keep me warm.

  “Boo.”

  The sudden voice to my right made my heart get stuck in my throat as I whirled around. For a second, I didn’t see who it was until a shadow on top of the brick walls framing the cemetery caught my attention.

  Staring back at me was an annoying grin that came with a skeleton-looking face. His cheeks seemed hollower due to the harsh lighting of the moon and streetlamp.

  “Christ. Fuck,” I cursed under my breath, clenching my fists. “Are you serious?” My heartbeat settled and River chuckled, tilting the bottle he held against his lips.

  “I don’t play games, so I guess yes, Nightmare.”

  “You’re the nightmare,” I shot back, rolling my eyes.

  I turned around to walk. I was there to visit my parents’ and brother’s graves, and whatever River was doing there, I didn’t want to know.

  I could never catch a break from him. He was in everything, everywhere.

  A thump behind me suggested River had jumped from the fence and the pebbles crunched under his shoes when he walked after me.

  “What are you doing in a cemetery late at night?” he asked.

  “Visiting my family. Would you let me have a moment?”

  “In a moment.”

  Resisting the urge to cry out of frustration alone, I turned and waited for him to catch up to me. “What are you doing here? Last I checked, your parents are both alive.”

&nbs
p; “I’m not here to visit. Well, not anyone specific. I just happen to have a fascination with the dead and morbid.” He grimaced.

  Piercing him with a deadly glare, my teeth ground together. “Have a good night, River.”

  “Wait.” His voice surprised me for a moment when it sounded wavering, making me hesitate in my tracks. “I lied.”

  “What do you mean?” I turned around so I could see his face, analyze his features, but they were clouded with darkness and shaded by the shadows making him look ghostly.

  “I didn’t come here because I have a fascination with the dead and morbid.”

  I raised an eyebrow. “No?”

  “No.” He shook his head. “Or, well… I do. But I figured you’d go here.”

  I frowned in confusion.

  “After the bonfire. I saw you were upset,” he said calmly. “What they said was fucked up. I could’ve said something, but I didn’t.”

  “Is that some sort of apology?”

  River closed his eyes and breathed out. Something calm had settled in his eyes but for some reason, that unsettled me more. The only response I got for my question was a lousy shrug that told nothing.

  It wasn’t until I was by my family’s gravestones that my shoulders fell again. The engraved names on the stones drew out tears and my lips trembled.

  “Are you… crying?” River asked behind me.

  “It’s just cold,” I lied, but I knew he didn’t believe me.

  I heard him step closer.

  Because my thoughts were a jumbled mess, I spoke out loud. The only reason why I confided in him being he was coincidentally there to listen. Not because I wanted to talk to him. Nope.

  “I never realized—” I needed a break to breathe in shakily through my nose and let it out through my mouth. I quickly wiped my eyes before a tear could spill.

  “Realized what?” River asked.

  Now I could feel his calm breathing right behind me as it fanned me over my head. Warmth radiated from him, and I took comfort from it.

  “They’re never coming back. I won’t ever see them again.” Staring at the tombstones, I shrugged at a loss for placing my emotions. I hated excessive emotions and I didn’t want to show them. I hated feeling so vulnerable with him. “I’m all alone.”

  “You’re not alone,” River mumbled. “I mean, you have Evie, and all of the city wants to be your friend.”

  I snorted. “So you’re saying I should suck it up?”

  How was he this insensitive?

  “I didn’t say that,” he said, and I perked up when there was a softness coating his voice. It was almost unnoticeable, but it was there. River took a step back. “I…” He paused, fumbling for his words. What was going on with him? “I shouldn’t have bothered you right now.”

  My jaw almost dropped. Was that another half-ass apology? Twice in ten minutes?

  He stepped back, allowing cold air to fill the gap between us, replacing the warmth from him with the chilled night air.

  “Then why did you?”

  He grimaced and it looked as if he was in pain as he raised the bottle in the air. “See, I would like to know that, too.” I frowned in confusion. “I don’t know what it is about you, Emory. You set something off inside of me… something in here.” He touched a finger to his temple, looking completely detached from the rest of the word. His eyes were like glass. “And in here.” He moved his finger to his chest.

  And I still didn’t understand a single thing.

  Other than the fact that he was mildly buzzed.

  “I didn’t realize how much I missed them,” I whispered, looking back at the gravestones. Tears forced their way up again.

  The more I stared, the more memories flashed behind my eyes, and I was lost in my blur of emotions and grief. “I haven’t let myself feel the grief and pain because I knew it would bring no good,” I said, my voice choked by tears. “I shouldn’t have come here. I’m such a mess and I’m so fucking embarrassed. Please don’t tell anyone?” A few of the words came out as sobs as I choked on my own voice. Tears streamed down my cheeks and I trembled.

  I sucked in a gasp when two strong hands spun me around and held me steady. “Tell anyone what? That you miss your deceased family? You’re human, Emory.” River’s voice was as soft as silk, and in that moment, I almost forgot I was supposed to hate him. I couldn’t see him due to the tears blurring my vision.

  “Fuck. I can’t believe they’re actually dead. You must think I’m so pathetic. I can’t even control myself. That’s like the first thing they teach kids as they grow up.”

  “Shh.” I was stunned when River pulled me into a hug, cupping the back of my head with his hand. In that moment, I felt comfort for the first time since I could remember.

  This was a moment of humiliation, but he made it better. He didn’t mock or tease. Was this a River clone?

  “What are we doing?” I sobbed pathetically into his shoulder. “We don’t like each other.”

  His hand stroked the back of my head and his other rubbed my back in soothing circles. “It doesn’t matter.”

  Willing my breaths to remain calm and my head to stay cool, I remained still until River clicked his tongue. “I have been here quite often, actually. You want to know another reason I’m here? It’s a tragic story… maybe it’ll cheer you up.”

  “Yes.” I wasn’t aware of how fragile my voice sounded until I’d spoken the words.

  “I believe in visualizing what you want before you get it.” He pulled out a bit.

  Why did this not sound like the beginning of a motivational speech?

  A wicked smile tugged on the corner of his lips. “And I’m visualizing the day when I finally get to trample over my father’s grave.” He threw a distant glance down at me. “I’ve always been punished for my emotions. I’m not as detached or calculating as Nico, nor do I have Sebastian’s charm to distract from the fact that I have a hard time controlling my emotions. That has been my biggest flaw, and my father has made damn well sure I know it. I picture him dead and buried, six feet under, finally where I want him to be. Blue skin, empty eyes, rotting away with worms crawling out of his skull.”

  I could practically feel my pupils dilate at the vivid picture he painted for me.

  What was I going to say to that? Sounds good? It didn’t, not at all. It hadn’t hit me before, but I realized how lucky I was to have a family built on love. River didn’t have that.

  “I can see your brain wheels spinning, Nightmare. Don’t worry. I’m not a lunatic. I won’t kill him.”

  Oddly enough, that wasn’t what I was worried about.

  “Before he dies, I want him to feel everything he’s made me feel over the years.”

  I watched him intently, trying to get some information out of his body language or face. He looked at me the same way.

  “That goes for you too, Nightmare,” he added with an inclined nod.

  I licked my lips. “And what have I made you feel?”

  “Everything.”

  “Have you had any time to think about what we discussed a few weeks back?” My lawyers sounded a bit annoyed over the phone. I continued on my path down the corridor of the university.

  “If you’re talking about the will, then no, I’m sorry. It has been busy around here.”

  I shoved the flare of emotions back down. My emotions from that night in the cemetery were still raw in my mind, even after three days, but I had managed to get my shit together.

  I didn’t know what happened that night. I fell apart in front of the one person in this world who was so strong, I didn’t want to appear weak in front of. But weirdest of all, he didn’t judge or mock; instead, he was quiet.

  “I see.” Franklin clucked his tongue. “Well, please contact me to discuss it as soon as possible.”

  I sighed. “I will. Thanks.”

  Stifling a growl, I hung up.

  Once again, River flooded my mind, but I blamed it on the logical fact that he was waiting for
me outside. It was about a month until Founders’ Day, and today we were finalizing the last details.

  “Hey,” I said when I was in earshot of River out on the parking lot. He stood with one hand in the pocket of his pants and the other held a blazer over his shoulder. Of course, he was one of the males on this planet with good taste in clothing. Shirts and tapered pants looked too good on a body like that.

  I had avoided him since the cemetery, and the way his eyes bored into me made it hard to keep my cool, which I normally had significantly less trouble doing.

  “Hey.” He nodded. “You can ride with me to my place and I’ll get Seb to pick up your car.” His eyes traveled over my body, but then he quickly drew his gaze away and walked to the driver’s side of his car, unlocking it smoothly. He turned back to me and sent me an arrogant look. “Is that a yes?”

  Nodding, I headed to his car and got in. The drive was silent, making it hard to miss how he glanced over at me with scrutiny in his eyes. After a short drive, we turned into the parking garage I remembered from the night I drove him home.

  God, that felt like ages ago.

  My cheeks heated when all our memories together flashed in my mind. The kiss, New York, the dinners…

  “So, this is my place.” River’s shoulders were tense as he walked into his apartment.

  “Yes, I’ve been here before.” The place was as nice and cozy as I remembered it to be.

  “I know.” He hung his coat on a black hanger before moving farther inside. “You can hang your stuff there, and uh… make yourself comfortable.”

  Frowning, I tried an awkward smile.

  Why was he being so tense all of a sudden? It wasn’t the first time I’d been here, so I didn’t get why he was so nervous.

  Shuffling inside, I sat down on the dark gray couch in his living room. Placing my phone on the glass table, I leaned back and watched as River moved around behind the kitchen island that was right in front of me.

  “You want anything to drink?” Before I had the opportunity to say yes or no, he came over with two glasses and put one down for me. He popped open a bottle of tequila and poured an inch into both glasses.

  “Thanks,” I said, scooping up the glass and sipping from it. The liquid burned down my throat and I grimaced. Once my glass was empty, River poured me another.