Sweet Hope

by Tillie Cole

  Rome took the lead, holding Molly, and led us to the left into a huge TV room. On the couch right in front of me was a pregnant Cassie, her blonde hair and red cheeks as bright as ever.

  As soon as her eyes clocked mine, she hurriedly rose from the couch and plastered on the biggest smile. “Ally friggin’ Prince!” she bellowed out in her loud Texan accent, her usual rhinestone jeans and plaid shirt covering her large baby bump.

  “Cassie!” I squealed in excitement and crossed the room to take her in my arms. “I’ve missed you so much, girl!” I said in her ear and she held me in her tight strong grip.

  Cassie pushed me back and, looking down my body, whistled low. “Shit, girl! Just when I thought you couldn’t get any hotter, you go and fucking hit it outta the park. You make me wanna buy a strap on and DP your ass.”

  Frowning, I shook my head and tried to accept her words for what they were: a compliment!

  Bending down, I rubbed my hand over her stomach and glanced up at her smiling face. “You look amazing, darlin’. I can’t believe you’re pregnant again! What’s this now, number three?”

  She shrugged on a ‘eh’, and pointed at JD, “Yep, number three. Blame it on this one, he can’t keep his damn hands off me. Which I get by the way, I’m one fucking hot bitch.”

  Laughing at her usual boisterous antics, I looked round Cass to see JD stood beside Austin and Levi, all drinking beers, watching a basketball game on Austin’s wide screen.

  Shifting around Cass, I moved to the ever-smiling JD and crushed him in a bear hug. “How’re you, darlin’?” I asked and stepped back.

  “Not too bad, Al, how’re you? Heard you’re curating some fancy ass exhibition here in Seattle.”

  I rolled my eyes and looked at Austin who was smiling. “Let me guess, Austin told you that?”

  Next to me Levi started laughing as Austin shrugged. “Well it is, right? Fancy ass, I mean.”

  Shaking my head, but smiling at how they viewed the art world, I threw my arm around Levi’s shoulder, ruffling his sandy hair. “Don’t you laugh, Lev, you’re meant to be more cultured than this sorry lot!”

  Levi laughed, then his face beamed bright red as he glanced down to my outfit. “You look real pretty, Ally,” he said quietly, and my heart swelled. He was such a good kid. But then my heart quickly deflated as I wished I could make him see that Axel was a good man too. A man who had done more for his brothers than they knew. A man who loved them so much, but didn’t know how to express it, because he’d never been shown how.

  Faking a smile, I hugged him hard and replied, “And you’re not too shabby yourself, Lev. Tell me, you got a girl yet? The chicks at college must be clamoring after you. If I was younger, you’d have been on my radar.” I winked.

  He gave me his usual shy smile and shook his head. “No, ma’am, no girls as yet.” Austin was watching Lev as his younger brother closed in on himself. I could see the racking worry in his gaze.

  “Hey Ally!” Hearing Lexi enter the room, I turned and walked to kiss her on the cheek. Within minutes I had a glass of Moscato in hand and was crushed beside Cassie on the couch, Molly and Lexi sitting in chairs in front of us.

  Glimpsing something flicker in the darkened hallway, my heart began to race when I caught sight of Axel, hiding in the shadows, watching me. Knowing he could see me, I smiled in his direction and I caught his lip hook into a smirk as he stepped further into the light. God, he was beautiful. As always, he was dressed all in black, his long hair falling like a curtain over his face, but those dark eyes I loved so much stayed on me, drinking me in, making me feel like the most beautiful woman in the world.

  God, I wanted to go to him. I wanted my friends to welcome him into the room, talk to him because they liked him and he belonged to me. I wanted them to watch me openly walk up to him and kiss him without shame. I wanted them to accept him because we belonged to one another, no matter how difficult it was for them to understand.

  But I knew it couldn’t be. My friends, his brothers, wouldn’t understand. So instead, I had to make do with furtive glimpses into the shadows, where the man who held my heart hid from the world... the world that had shunned him… the world that, at age thirty, he didn’t understand.

  “Axel?”

  My every muscle froze on hearing Axel’s name being called from behind me. I turned to see Austin rushing forward, a huge smile on his face.

  Glancing back to the shadows, I saw Axel trying to duck his head and get away, but it was too late, Austin had already seen him.

  “Axe!” Austin called, “Come have a beer with us… with me.” He belatedly corrected himself, clearly embarrassed at his slip.

  Rome’s eyes narrowed as he stood beside Lev and JD. Levi cast his eyes down on seeing his big brother and Rome muttered something to himself.

  Anger burned in my veins at my cousin’s change of mood. Thankfully, Austin stood before Axel, a hopeful look on his face. “I didn't think you’d come down when I invited you to join us earlier. I’m so damn glad you did, fratello.”

  My heart sank when I heard how happy Austin was that Axel had shown face. Because I knew Axel would never have come down here to sit with us. He shunned any contact with people or crowds. Yet here he was, skulking in the safety of the dark just so he could watch me.

  Suddenly I felt like crying. Axel should feel welcome in his own family’s house. He shouldn’t have to keep what he felt for me a secret, for fear of my friends turning their backs on me... because of the man I’d chosen to lo—

  My hand flew to my chest as I realized what I’d been just about to admit. I couldn’t… I didn’t, not yet, right? It was impossible… it was…

  Shit… it was true…

  I glanced up to check no one had noticed my strange reaction, and nobody had… until I locked gazes with a familiar pair of golden eyes, Molly Prince’s golden eyed gaze was firmly glued on me.

  Forcing my attention back to the darkened hallway, I was convinced Axel would refuse to come in. He’d make some lame excuse and bail. I knew this was his idea of hell, so I had to prevent my mouth from dropping open when, rather awkwardly, he walked fully into the light. He looked so damn sexy and brooding that, for a moment, I couldn’t catch my breath.

  I did love him. I loved this tortured man before me with a breathless intensity.

  Austin, clearly also in shock at his brother’s appearance, threw an arm around Axel's shoulder and led him toward a bucket of beer, handing over a bottle of Bud.

  “That’s Axel?” Cassie whispered from beside me. Swerving in my place on the couch to face her, I silently nodded my head. I wanted to tell her it was my Axel, my Elpidio, the man who’d brought me to life with his deep soul and magnetic dark force, but I couldn’t.

  Watching Cass assess my man, I braced for her to talk shit about him, feeling like she’d be stabbing me with a dagger in the process, but in typical Cassie fashion, she did the opposite.

  “Fuck me, that guy is sin on a stick!” Cassie exclaimed with an impassioned sigh.

  Molly and Lexi shook their heads at Cassie whose eyes bugged out at Axel. Her blue eyes tracked every inch of his built body, a body I now knew better than my own, his every tattoo etched in my memory.

  “I mean, that long almost-black hair, the beard, the tattoos on his neck and face… the whole I’m an ex-gangster, I could kill you on the spot and I’ve served hard time thing? Whew!” Cass fanned herself with her hand, “If I wasn’t pregnant and married I’d be all up in that bad boy shit! I’d sure as hell rehabilitate him!”

  Jimmy-Don was staring at Cass in exasperation. After all, she was being her typically loud self. I forced down a swig of my wine for fear I‘d burst out laughing… especially when I looked at Austin and Axel who were staring at Cass with mutual expressions of disbelief. At least Austin was; Axel just glared at her, his jaw clenching.

  Austin, deciding to ignore Cass, nodded to Axel in the direction of JD, Rome and Lev. When Axel reluctantly looked over at the three men,
they were all watching him with wary expressions, none of which exactly looked welcoming.

  Axel pointed his beer at the seat nearest to me, under the TV. “I’ll just watch the game,” he said gruffly. He sounded his usual hard tough self, but I could detect the pain and hurt in his gaze and his voice. Levi's actions made it clear he wanted Axel nowhere near him.

  Hearing Cass sigh again, I looked in her direction and she was still fanning herself, staring hungrily at my man. She turned to me and mouthed, “That voice!”

  Part of me was glad that Cass felt the way she did. It gave me hope that Axel and I weren’t a lost cause.

  “So, Ally,” Cass said, leaning back against the couch as Axel slumped into the chair… the chair that offered a perfect view of me. Hell, he was sat exactly opposite.

  I turned to Cass. “Yeah, darlin’?”

  “Rumor has it, you got yourself a new beau?” Cass’s eyebrows danced, but my cheeks flamed when I saw Axel freeze in my peripheral vision.

  “Yes,” I whispered and took a sip of my wine, trying to avoid follow-up questions.

  “So, what’s he like? Some reclusive artist, right?”

  Feeling my breathing hollow out, I nodded my head. “Yes.”

  Cassie slapped her thigh loudly and groaned in frustration at my short answers. “Ally, I’m pregnant and have been with JD for what seems like forever. Molly’s knocked up too and Lexi and Austin, well, she’s his little Pix and he’s her bad boy. They don’t see anyone else, so we need to live the single life vicariously through you. So spill it, I need details! Mama needs some gossip!”

  Flashing a glance to Axel, I debated what to say. I was worried I would be too transparent and our secret would be found out. Axel raised his bottle of beer to his mouth and cast a glance back at me. That one hungry look alone melted me on the spot. I thought I caught a flicker of amusement in his dark eyes, but from here I couldn’t be sure.

  Shit. I had no idea how to get out of this.

  Feeling Cass’s laser stare burning through me, I sighed in defeat and asked, “What do you want to know, Cass? I don’t really wanna talk about it… it’s private.”

  When she smiled excitedly, I knew I shouldn’t have spoken.

  She screwed up her face, deep in thought, then pursing her lips, she asked, “What’s he like in bed? Hung? Fuck of the century?”

  Choking on my sip of wine, I spluttered a cough and looked to Lexi and Molly who were trying real not to laugh at Cass.

  “Cass!” Lexi admonished, her lips pursed in humor, “Stop it!”

  Cassie’s face scrunched up in confusion. “What?”

  “You can’t ask things like that, Cass,” Molly said tiredly, causing me to momentarily forget my exasperation at Cass and grow concerned for her instead.

  “Yeah, I can. We’re all friends here! And I friggin’ heard you and Bullet fucking and screaming more than I wanted to back in College, so there’s no need for shyness now, Mol! Ain’t no secret you’re at it like bunnies!” Cass’s hand landed on my arm as Molly’s eyes bugged out. Rome coughed behind us, and Cass plowed on regardless. “Well? The sex? How is it?”

  Blowing out a breath, I could feel my face flame, but I replied quietly, “The best of my life, Cass. It’s… he’s, amazing. There, you happy now?”

  Cassie grinned and I dipped my head to look at Axel, who was staring at me, his gaze lit with the heat I’d come to adore. He wanted me. And, Christ, I wanted him too.

  “And looks? What does he look like? I need a visual,” Cass asked.

  “He’s dark, beautiful, muscled… pretty damn near perfect,” I whispered, realizing that I was betraying more of how I felt about Axel than intended. “Putting it simply, he’s the most incredible and staggering man I’ve met, in all ways, not just physically, though he’s beyond words in that department too.”

  “Well, shit, Al!” Cass said, for once, her voice at low volume, “I didn’t know you were gone for the guy, like fallen head over heels, gone. I thought it was just sex?”

  My heartbeat accelerated to match the speed of a Hummingbird’s wings, and I blinked too fast. Cass’s arm threaded over my shoulders. “You really like this mysterious guy, huh?”

  Inhaling a shuddering breath, I cast a side-glance to Axel who was gripping the neck of his bottle with a fierce intensity, waiting with bated breath for my reply.

  “He’s stolen my heart,” I whispered, “It’s hopelessly and irreparably fused to his.”

  “Ally…” Lexi hushed out and I saw water fill her eyes. “I had no idea…”

  Feeling the room aquire a deafening silence, I looked up to see all my friends staring at me in surprise. Clearing my throat, I nervously asked, “What y’all staring at me for? She asked me, I was just being honest.”

  Molly sat forward capturing my attention. “Just never seen you this smitten with a guy before, sweetie. It’s a blessing to witness.”

  As I stared into the golden brown eyes of my best friend, I said, “That’s because he’s not just any guy, he’s my more, my bolt of lightning, the one I’ve been waiting for all my life.” A smile pulled on my lips as I stared at the floor and I whispered, “Él es mi corazón.”

  I knew they couldn’t understand that I’d just called Axel my heart, and I was glad, it was my admission to myself.

  When I looked across the room, Axel was sitting forward in his chair, his elbows on his knees. Then, as if feeling my stare, and unable to cope with such a declaration, wordlessly, he got to his feet and walked out of the room.

  Feeling like the air had been stolen from my lungs, I drained the rest of my wine and got to my feet too. “If you'll excuse me a moment,” I requested, “I’m going to the bathroom.”

  Leaving my friends to mull over my confession, I walked into the hallway and, on my left, I saw Axel enter the kitchen.

  As I looked down at the empty glass in my hand, I knew, if caught, I could use that as my excuse for being in the kitchen with Axel. I simply needed more wine. That was plausible, right?

  Not giving it anymore thought, I entered the large kitchen, immediately spotting Axel. He was bent over, hands placed firmly on the countertop. His back was rising and falling with deep controlled breaths.

  Checking no one was behind me, I walked forward and stood beside him. Axel jumped on sensing my presence. His guarded expression melted into one of deep want when he saw it was me.

  Without taking his hands off the counter, his eyes slowly undressed me. I could feel my nipples harden under his harsh scrutiny. “Fuck, Ally,” he rasped, his deep voice guttural, and I could see a bulge forming beneath his jeans. “You’re fucking killing me looking like that. Fucking nearly took you on the TV room floor.”

  Clenching my thighs together at the effect his words were having on me, I turned and pretended to search a cupboard up high. I could feel Axel’s hard stare on me as I reached up, faking a search for more wine, knowing my stomach was showing and my breasts were pushing out as my back arched.

  Hearing a low groan, my breathing paused when Axel brushed past my back with his front as though he was innocently passing by me to reach for a glass.

  Shivers ran down my spine at his hard touch and I bit back a moan as his warm breath drifted by my neck. As if that alone didn’t have me yearning for him to press me up against the counter and fuck me from behind, the scrape of his lips and teeth on the skin of my nape sure did.

  Slamming my palm on the granite surface to steady my feet, he ordered almost inaudibly, “You better leave those shoes on tonight when I get you alone. I want you in nothing but them, your hair as it is now and those heels stabbing into my back.”

  Shakily opening another cupboard door, I kept up the pretense of searching for anything, when his arm pushed past mine, his skin scalding.

  “You’re getting me alone?” I asked, knowing he, and only he, would be able to hear me.

  Axel’s head leaned closer to mine. Licking along the shell of my ear with his hot tongue, my eyes flutteri
ng closed, he growled. “You fucking bet I am. Didn’t have you last night and didn’t like it. I…” he cleared his throat and I heard him pause in breath, “I… missed you, carina…”

  Completely shocked that an admission so heartfelt came out of his usually non-confessional mouth, such tender, honest words, when he rarely gave anything away, made me tearful. “Axel…”

  I forced myself to hold it together, but my heart was so full of emotion and my blood so charged with need that I didn’t think it would be possible. Axel didn’t move from my side. In fact his large hand drifted across my stomach, wandering fingers first running along my exposed skin, then drifting down to trace the outline of my pussy as his lips drifted from my ear to nip at my neck.

  “Did you mean it?” he whispered and my eyes fluttered open.

  “Mean what?” I asked breathlessly.

  “That I’ve stolen your heart,” he hushed. I could hear the reluctance in his voice at how much he wanted to know, “that it’s hopelessly fused to mine.”

  Warmth filled my chest as he repeated my completely honest words back to me. Sliding behind me, his unyielding arm around my waist grinding my ass against his hard crotch, he pushed, “Well, did you? I need to fucking know…”

  I could feel his heart beating rapidly against my back. I smiled. He was nervous. Axel Carillo, with me wrapped in his strong tattooed arms, desperately wanted my words to be true. He needed someone to care about him so strongly… he needed to be… wanted.

  “Yes,” I murmured in a quiet voice, knowing that I could tell him so much more if I wasn’t so afraid. “I meant every single word. You have completely consumed, possessed and made me yours, querido. Todo tuyo…”

  Axel’s grip on my waist bordered on painful and his hips rocket against my ass with more force, making us both moan. Hard his cock was teasing my already-wet pussy.

  Gasping and scraping my fingernails against his hands, Axel was suddenly dragging me across the room toward the pantry. Once there, he slammed my back up against the wall, his hands keeping my wrists pinned up above my head. My chest heaved and he groaned on seeing my breasts swell with his attention.