Reckless Destiny
Page 25
Kane followed Cady to the stable and swung down from his saddle. Already dismounted, she stood holding her reins, eyes wide. Outside, the bugle sounded the call to arms.
When Cady spoke, her voice belied the unmistakable traces of fear on her face. “What are you doing here?”
“I wanted to make sure you’re all right.”
“I’m fine. But you should be with your men.”
She was right and Kane knew it. He had gone after her, once again thinking with his heart instead of his head.
“What happens now?” she asked.
“I plan to chase Cuchillo until I catch him.”
Cady watched him and saw the exact moment when the gleam of excitement stole into his eyes. It was the same instant her blood turned cold at the thought of what might happen to him when he caught up with the Apaches.
He walked over to her and lifted her chin with his knuckle. “We don’t know what the Apaches are up to. Until we do, I want you to stay inside.” He sent her a slow smile that she knew was meant to be reassuring. “Consider that an order.”
She tried to return his smile, but bit the corner of her lip when hers wavered. “Yes, sir.”
“Will you be all right? Stay with Betsy Wexler.”
“Don’t worry about me. I’ll be fine. Go do your job.”
He gave her an all-out grin; then he was gone. He’d left before she could tell him to be careful—before she could say she loved him.
Cady paced the length of her quarters for what she thought was the hundredth time. The sun had gone down long ago, and still there was no word from Kane. By itself, that didn’t worry her, but occasional spurts of gunfire made her heart go cold. She didn’t know if it was nervous guards firing at shadows or an all-out attack.
If he hadn’t ordered her to stay inside, she would have flown out of there. But where? How she wished Kane would get back.
A burst of anger shot through her as she recalled the look in his eyes when he told her he was going after Cuchillo. He was enjoying this. He loved the excitement, the danger. It made him feel really alive.
No woman could compete with that and win.
She was beginning to see what Annie had faced, what any woman faced who fell in love with a soldier. There was a lot more to being a military wife than following orders. He thought she was afraid, and he was partly right. Her fear was for him. Any woman who shared this life had to be willing to accept the fact that her husband was in constant danger. Then she had to find the strength to let him go while she stayed behind, waiting and worrying. She had to let him know she could take care of herself, with or without him. Anything less than that was another burden and distraction that a soldier didn’t need.
Cady stifled the sob that jumped into her throat. She loved Kane, and the thought of losing him was terrifying. All she could do was make his home a place he longed to come back to, try to give him something that made him feel as alive as the army. God willing, he would return to her tonight. He didn’t want to hear that she loved him. But with every ounce of energy she had, she would show him how she felt.
She would show him everything but her fear for him.
Kane walked through the maze of the fort buildings, making his way on sheer memory in the pitch blackness that had forced his patrol back to the fort. The Apaches had disappeared into the desert, and it was suicide to continue the pursuit. In the morning he would lead a troop out to see if there was a trail to pick up. For now, he’d grab a few hours of sleep.
The thought of saying good-bye to Cady tore at him, but she had sent him away with her blessing.
As he walked in the darkness, he couldn’t help thinking of Annie and her petulant behavior during their brief marriage. He realized now that short of giving her his undivided attention, she would never have been content. Even then, it wouldn’t have been enough to make her happy.
Cady was so different. Her exuberance and sheer joy in being alive seemed to radiate to those around her, and her laughter touched everyone she met.
An image of her green eyes and long golden-brown hair flashed into his mind. A sense of yearning swept over him, so strong it nearly doubled him over. Even as he instinctively increased his pace, he remembered that he had sent her to wait out the situation with Betsy Wexler. That was just as well. The sense of urgency for her was strong within him, and he knew he would never be able to keep his hands off her.
Kane crossed the board covering the acequia in front of his dark quarters. He let himself inside and realized he needed to light a candle. Cady had moved the furniture in making a home for them. He’d kill himself on something if he didn’t have some light.
He made certain the curtains were pulled, then struck a match to the candle on the table by the door. He took off his uniform jacket and hung it on a wall peg. Then he pulled his white cotton shirt over his head and yanked off his boots. He picked up the candle and crossed the room to the dresser and poured some water from the pitcher into the basin beside it. After washing up, he picked up the candle and turned. The light spilled over a figure half on and half off the bed.
He moved closer. It was Cady, sound asleep. She was sitting in a chair but had fallen face forward on the mattress of the nearer iron cot, with her cheek resting against the blanket and the handle grip of a pistol loosely clutched in her fingers.
He couldn’t help smiling, and the swelling of tenderness that filled his chest was almost painful. When had he started loving her? Had it been when she was ready to fight him with her hatpin? The time she had caught her dress on fire? Or when she’d gone to warn Jack of the danger he was in, regardless of any harm that might come to herself? He didn’t know when his feelings had crystallized into love, he only knew they had.
He wondered why she hadn’t gone to wait out the Indian trouble with Betsy Wexler. For a woman who suddenly was bent on following his smallest order to the letter, this seemed a little odd.
But he was glad she was here waiting for him, the way other army wives did. He didn’t usually let himself think of Cady as his wife, at least not if he could help it. Tonight he couldn’t help it. He was dead tired and she was a sight for sore eyes, so beautiful and sweet. The room smelled like a field of flowers. After the stench of horses and sweat and gunpowder that had filled his head for hours, she was like a small bit of heaven.
Soundlessly, he set the flickering light on the table in the center of the room and moved to where Cady lay. With thumb and forefinger, he carefully lifted the gun from her limp fingers. He didn’t want to startle her and have the thing go off. Setting the weapon on the table beside the candle, he turned back to her.
She stirred and stretched and sighed. Her unconsciously seductive movements aroused him instantly. The need in him pulled tight, then blazed through him like a spark to dry grass. He wanted her, more than he had ever wanted any woman in his life.
She yawned, then sat up, and when she looked at him in the shadows a gasp escaped her.
“It’s me, Cady. Don’t be afraid.”
“Kane,” she said softly, her voice husky from sleep.
She let out a long breath, then relaxed and rubbed her eyes like a sleepy child. She pushed her loose, heavy hair behind her shoulders and stood up.
“Is everything all right? Are you all right?”
“Fine.”
“What happened?”
“Nothing much. We gave chase but couldn’t find any trace of them. I suspect it was just an Apache show, a gesture of defiance to let us know they’re still out there.”
“Will they come back?”
He shrugged. “There’s no way to tell. I’ll send out a patrol when it gets light.”
She nodded as she let out a shuddering breath.
“The danger’s over for now. Don’t be scared, Cady.”
“I’m not.” She answered a little too quickly, a shade too confidently.
“You’re not a very good liar.” With one step, Kane stood in front of her and gently lifted her chin with his kn
uckle. She was forced to meet his gaze, and he saw the remnants of fear that clouded her eyes and took the color from her normally rosy cheeks.
“Why would I lie?” she asked.
“That’s a good question.”
He just wasn’t sure whether she was hoping to deceive herself or him. The real question was why she would even try to hide her feelings from him. Only a fool wouldn’t be afraid.
“Let’s just say I’m glad you’re back,” she said.
“I’m sorry I woke you.”
“I was tired.” Her lashes lowered as she looked down sheepishly.
“Tell me why you didn’t stay with the Wexlers.”
She glanced up quickly. “I know that was an order, but I-I wanted to be here, close to my things. And if anything happened, if you were hurt or—” Her voice caught, forcing her to stop.
She whirled around then, but not before the candle caught the gleam of tears in her eyes.
“Cady, what is it?” He turned her gently to face him. “Were you afraid for me?” he asked softly.
She started to shake her head, then hesitated and nodded. Her eyes were huge in her pale face.
He let out a deep, shuddering breath. It had been a long time since someone had cared whether he lived or died. Whether he came home in one piece—or didn’t come home at all.
The tenderness swirling inside him refused to be contained any longer. He couldn’t hold back the flood of feelings that had rained down on him since he had walked through the door and seen her, his beautiful brave Cady, waiting for him.
Kane lowered his mouth to hers. Anticipation made his breathing quicken, the exquisite fullness of her lips set him on fire. Her soft moan of contentment put him over the edge of rational thought.
He needed to feel her naked against him, he wanted to hold her and kiss her and make the ugliness go away, he wanted her with a desire he had never known before.
With shaky fingers, he worked at the buttons on her blouse even as he kept his mouth on hers. He couldn’t bear to pull away, not even long enough to expose her satin skin to his touch.
She reached behind to undo the fastenings of her split skirt and let it drop to the floor. He pushed the blouse from her shoulders as she stepped from the pool of material at her feet. In seconds, her chemise and pantalettes were gone and she stood before him naked.
He stared at her, branding her loveliness in his mind. She held herself proudly before him.
“You’re so beautiful I can hardly believe you’re real, and you’re here, with me.”
“I’m very real, and there’s nowhere else on earth I’d rather be than here, with you.”
Nestled between her breasts was the ring he’d given her, suspended from a string around her neck. He lifted the gold circle and started to pull it over her head, but she stopped him with a light touch.
She placed her hand on his. “Don’t take it off.”
He smiled at her and placed a kiss in her palm. When he heard her draw in a sharp breath, he glanced up at her, noticing her rapid breathing and the smoky look of passion in her eyes.
She rested her hands on his chest. The feeling was so soft and delicate, Kane thought he’d go out of his mind. He could barely draw enough air into his lungs. When she slipped her hands up around his neck, he wrapped his arms around her, hungrily holding her close as he enjoyed the sensation of her bare skin against his.
Kane had survived a lot in his life and had cheated death more than once, but one thing he knew: If he didn’t have Cady soon, he would die.
He bent slightly and placed an arm behind her knees and lifted her, walked the few steps to his cot, and placed her gently on the blanket. Before joining her, he quickly shrugged out of his wool uniform pants, stretched out beside her, and pulled her close.
Cady wondered if this was all a dream. She’d had so many, and she always awakened alone and full of longing. She curved a hand around his strong neck, then pulled him to her for a kiss filled with all her pent-up yearning. His moan of pleasure sounded real enough. She nudged his lips apart and stroked the inside of his mouth. His arms tightened with restrained passion, even as the hard ridge of his desire pressed against the juncture of her thighs.
Kane looked at her with such hungry intensity that she knew this was real. He lowered his lips to her breast. A bolt of pleasure shot through her, clear down to her toes, and she knew she was wide awake, held in the arms of the man she loved. Unbridled happiness filled her until she thought she couldn’t possibly hold any more. She gave herself up to the tingles of pleasure as he laved her nipple with his tongue until she thought she’d go mad. Then he lifted his mouth, but only long enough to move to her other breast and suckle it the same way.
Cady was frantic from the pressure building within her. When he slid his hand down her belly to nestle between her thighs, she opened for him gladly. He slipped a finger into her moistness and she gasped.
“Kane, I want you,” she whispered fiercely.
“Is that an order?” He smiled at her.
“Oh, yes!”
“This will be one order it will be my pleasure to carry out.”
He raised up and positioned himself between her legs. When he looked into her eyes, all traces of humor were gone. Cady saw only a haunted expression and a hunger so intense she knew it matched her own.
“Please, captain,” she whispered as he slid into her waiting warmth.
Sheer contentment welled inside her, creating a tender ache. When he began to move slowly, something else took root and started to build. A heat that surpassed anything she’d experienced in the desert glowed in her belly and radiated outward.
He increased his pace, and the embers within her burst into flame. But still there was no freedom from the tension he nurtured. With exquisite caring, he kissed her, then lifted himself up and took his weight on his arms as he thrust into her harder and faster. The blaze he’d created inside her burned brighter and hotter until finally she cried out his name.
Her release came in a flare of brilliant white light, a fireball as hot as the Arizona sun.
Above her, Kane tensed, the tendons in his arms corded as he braced himself. He threw his head back and groaned as he shuddered from the force of his pleasure. Tears filled Cady’s eyes at the joy she felt, for she was the one who had given him this powerful release.
Kane lowered himself, resting his weight on his forearms as he kissed her nose. Then he rolled to the side and gathered her against him.
Cady snuggled into his warmth, loving the smell of his skin and the feeling of closeness being in his arms brought her. As she rested her cheek on his chest, his hair tickled her cheek. She suppressed a smile as she waited for him to say something.
But within minutes, she heard and felt his even breathing that told her he’d fallen asleep. Disappointment flooded her. With an effort, she pushed it away, for she knew he must be exhausted after everything that had happened today.
She’d try to be patient. After all, she knew he cared for her. He had just proved it to her with the tenderness of his possession.
Tomorrow was time enough to hear him say he loved her.
17
The next morning when Cady awoke, Kane was gone. She tried not to let it bother her. After all, he was preoccupied with renegade Apaches, and the welfare of every man, woman, and child in the fort depended on him. Still, a part of her had expected him to hold her in the dawning light the way he had in the darkness the night before.
“Patience, Cady,” she scolded. “Give the man time.” But patience was not one of her strengths.
She picked up her hand mirror from the dresser and checked her appearance before school. She wasn’t sure if the children should gather for lessons, considering the scare with the Apaches the previous day, but she would be ready if Kane said it was all right.
Looking at her reflection, she said, “A good soldier’s wife does not act without thought. A good soldier’s wife follows orders and restrains herself.”
She left her quarters to look for him. After searching in vain everywhere in the fort she could think of, Cady finally went into the mess hall. Betsy Wexler was there, trying to get the upper hand over a rowdy group of children. “Excuse me, Bart,” Betsy was saying, with a barely controlled edge of anger in her voice. “Please don’t jump off the table. You’ll hurt yourself.”
“No, ma’am,” he said stoutly. “I can jump from higher’n that there table.”
“Still, I must ask you not to do it. What if everyone here jumped off the table?”
A lively sparkle gleamed in Bart’s hazel eyes. “We could have us more fun than a flea in a doghouse.”
Cady walked over to the other woman, who looked ready to throttle the boy, and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. Betsy heaved a relieved sigh.
Then Cady frowned at Bart. “You know better than to behave like a ruffian in my schoolroom. Please take a seat.”
“Yes’m,” Bart said. He pulled out the bench closest to him and sat.
She glanced at the rest of the group, who hadn’t noticed her entrance. Martha Halleck, reddish-brown braids flying behind her, ran after Polly Chase and, when she caught the younger girl, squealed, “You’re it!” Emily Stanton smiled coyly at John Eagle as she blinked her dark blue eyes and twirled a black curl around her finger. R. J. glared at the two of them, then slapped John on the back, whereupon a wrestling match ensued.
Cady clapped her hands and said in a loud voice, “Children, please take your seats. On the double!”
She might not be the best army wife there ever was, but she was picking up the language and she had learned how to use it in her classroom.
The children stopped their shenanigans and sat down immediately.
Betsy brushed a loose strand of graying hair away from her flushed face. “I’d like to know what magic you use to do that. I’ve been trying to get them to listen to me for fifteen minutes.”