Kate coughed. And when she looked over at Emily the other girl looked vaguely nauseated. Kate’s shoulders slumped. Right. Time to go then, she reasoned. No point in prolonging the inevitable. No matter how interesting Emily was. She wasn’t here for Kate. No matter how much Kate would’ve liked to pretend otherwise.
Bryan’s eyes were wide with shock. His moth hung open, gaping like a fish, as he looked at his guest. and Kate patted him on the shoulder and muttered as she left, ‘I’ll just leave you two to it. Plenty to do. People to see. Places to be. You know how it is.’
And if Bryan looked at her oddly that didn’t bother her in the slightest. Now, if only she could figure out why Emily had made such an impression on her. But that was a question for later. For another time. For another place. When she didn’t feel so disappointed at the idea that Bryan was who Emily liked. And not her. Not Kate.
Kate wasn’t really lying. Not badly, anyway. It was more of a fib. She did have places to be and people to see. But those appointments weren’t exactly urgent. And so, if she sat at a coffee shop, for an hour as she waited for Iuan to meet her for their weekly coffee then, well, at least she had time to think. And at least she wasn’t stuck in Bryan’s room with Emily unable to bring herself to look at her.
And if Kate had any sort of notion about why that had disappointed her so, well, she would save that for Jenny. She was going to have a field day with her current predicament. At least her friend would get a laugh out of it.
Optimism, she found out, didn’t suit her much. It didn’t take her long to the coffee shop on account of the fact that she basically ran there. She claimed the first open table for herself and slumped down into the chair. She watched people walk past her, thought about her order and waited.
Three
It’s a Small World
The next time Kate saw Emily she didn’t see it coming. Literally didn’t see it coming and promptly ran into Emily. Because that was her life now. Escape your dorm to avoid a pretty girl and the next thing you know you’re running into her all the time on campus. And was fine, usually, when she could get away with a smile and wave and then politely head over to her next class. But today was not that day. Her luck had run out. Or, well, fate had decided to intervene. Kate wasn’t sure which.
‘Shit. Sorry.’ Kate kneeled down. Emily’s books had gone everywhere. Who even carried books to class anymore? Kate couldn’t think of anyone off the top of her head. But of course Emily would the exception to the rule. She was the exception to every other rule. Why not this one too?
All of the sudden Kate had to fight the urge to go out and buy some of her own. She’d be the only student in any of her classes who hand wrote any notes. Handwriting code didn’t come as intuitively as one might think. Or maybe it came just as naturally as one might think. It was awkward. Weird. Unnatural. But that would’ve been a small price to pay. Then she’d be able to ask Emily for a pen because she’d “forgotten” hers and wouldn’t that be a convenient excuse to see her. And it would’ve worked if Kate was smoother and wasn’t actively avoiding the girl.
‘Are you following me?’ asked Emily with a laugh. She’d gotten most of her fallen books, and Kate was just happy Emily seemed to be fond of binders else she was pretty sure they’d be stuck looking for paper for the whole afternoon. And Kate was not keen on being stared at. She could feel eyes on her back as people stared at them and the scene they’d caused. t was much better to be forgotten, in her opinion, than being watched. It was why she would never be able to pursue a career in the theater. She was people shy.
Kate smiled wanly. ‘No—not at all. I just sort of ran into you.’
‘Yeah, that’s why it tends to be a good idea to look up from your phone every now and then.’
‘I’m not usually this bad. I don’t even have any social media but it’s just I don’t know where my class is. My professor changed lecture theaters.’
‘That would explain what you’re doing in the arts department. ‘
‘Yeah, it would.’ Kate chuckled and held out a hand to help Emily to her feet. The other girl looked at curiously but took her hand nonetheless. Emily’s hand was soft and small and delicate in Kate’s own. It was quite possibly the nicest hand Kate had ever seen. The nicest hand she’d ever held. She thought it was near perfect. And that was dangerous.
Kate dropped Emily’s hand quickly. She didn’t want to come off as creepy. Polite and friendly was the way to go, her brain just needed to get the memo, waxing poetic about Emily’s hands – no matter if it was just to herself – did not make the cut.
‘Sorry, again,’ said Kate. Emily peered up at her and waited for Kate to continue. ‘About the whole running into you thing. It wasn’t exactly my finest moment.’
‘It happens,’ said Emily. ‘I’m just glad it was me and not some poor unsuspecting stranger.’
‘That would’ve just be the icing on top of the cake,’ said Kate dryly.
‘Who knows they could’ve been your soulmate,’ said Emily with mock seriousness. ‘And I just ruined that. So, really, I should be the one who’s sorry.’
‘You could make it up to me.’ Kate fought a smile. She felt brave. The weirdness that ‘You could show me where my next class is, because, if it was wasn’t abundantly clear, I have no clue. Like none. I could not be more lost if I tried.’
‘Isn’t this your last year? How are you lost?’
Kate felt the need to defend her honor. ‘The computer science building is like on the opposite end of campus. I’ve never really been around here. Not much, anyway. I usually only walk past it. And I’m usually always late. That doesn’t really leave much time for exploring.’
‘You’ve never just explored?’ Emily looked at her as if she were an alien.
‘At night, sure, at night. But I wasn’t really looking at the building names when I was doing that.’ Kate looked around. Stared at the koi fish in the pond they passed. She didn’t want to get caught staring. Well, she didn’t want to get caught staring at Emily. The koi were fair game.
‘I’ve never been on campus at night.’
‘You should try it. It’s stunning. It’s so much nicer when it’s quite and there’s not swarms of people rushing around to their classes.’
‘You’ll have to show me,’ said Emily. Kate felt herself freeze up. She couldn’t be serious. Could she? ‘But maybe I should show you where your class is first. A sort of a test run.’
Kate nodded. Right. Class. How the fuck was she meant to focus on software management now? She knew herself. She would day dream through the entire lecture. Thoughts of Emily and how nice it would be to go on a moonlight stroll through campus would preoccupy her mind. It would be downright fucking romantic. Kate would bet the moon would hit her just the right way, and make her golden hair stand out, and she’d look altogether angelic underneath the moonlight.
‘Kate?’
‘Sorry,’ said Kate. ‘Got distracted. I was thinking about exception handling.’ Smooth, Kate. Real smooth. How was that the best she could come up with? How?
‘Okay,’ said Emily. She sounded doubtful as if she didn’t believe Kate but was going to give her the benefit of the doubt. And that was fair enough. It had been a terrible lie. ‘Why don’t you show me where it is? And then we can go.’
‘Right.’ Kate fumbled for her phone and swiped it open before she held it out to Emily. Iuan had texted her the new lecture venue because Kate hadn’t exactly checked her emails this morning. He was a good friend – if it hadn’t been for him she’d have sitting outside the lecture theater for a god fifteen minutes before she realized she was at the wrong venue, and then she’d have to trek over to the arts department and that’d be another fifteen at least. So, really there wouldn’t even be any point in her going to said lecture. It would’ve been a complete waste of her time. And wouldn’t that be a great start to the new semester?
‘You’re not too far off,’ said Emily. ‘Your class is upstairs.’
‘
Okay, amazing.’ Kate sighed with relief. She adjusted the strap of her computer bag from where it was starting to chafe at her shoulder. ‘You really don’t have to walk me there. If it’s that close, I’ll be fine on my own.’
‘It’s not exactly out of my way,’ said Emily. ‘Pretty sure I can spare the minute it’ll take to walk you there. Besides, we wouldn’t want you to get lost. Not this close to your destination, anyway. I’d never let you live it down.’
Emily began to walk without looking back to see if Kate followed. It was pretty much a given that she would. Kate quickened her pace as they approached the stairs so that she kept up with Emily. ‘Your confidence in me is heartwarming.’
‘Bryan’s mentioned your unparalleled navigation skills to me before.’
‘Of course he has.’ Kate sulked. She felt a flush crawl up her neck and scoweled. ‘Was it that one time I had to drive us back form the beach and got lost for a good thirty minutes?’
‘No.’ Emily laughed. ‘He hasn’t mentioned that. Did you actually?’
Good one Kate. Dig your own grave why don’t you. But she couldn’t ditch the nagging feeling that talking about her was an odd way for them to pass their time together. Kate hadn’t spoken to Bryan recently. Not since the shower debacle. She’d been laying low. She didn’t want to hear about him and Emily and what they got up to.
She still, dumbly, wanted to hope that maybe, just maybe, Emily wasn’t in love with Bryan. She didn’t want to kill that particular little ember of hope. Not right now, anyway.
‘Not my proudest moment. Which was it, then?’ Kate’s laptop bag began to slip awkwardly down her shoulder. She puled at the strap again. Felt the weight of her back weigh down her one shoulder.
‘He mentioned something about you making him get on the wrong bus.’
Kate cringed. That was even worse. She didn’t even want to think about that – it had made her late for the first date she’d gone on after her breakup with Lauren. It went without saying that there had not been a repeat.
‘Yeah, let’s not talk about that. My ego is still far too bruised.’
‘I didn’t think you were sensitive.’ Emily’s hair danced around her shoulders. She was teasing. Kate felt like she was on top of the world. Maybe she had imagined all the awkwardness in Bryan’s room?
‘I’m a cancer, astrologically speaking. Jenny says it comes with the territory. And wouldn’t argue with her. She’s really into astrology. Scary into it, really.’
‘And you?’
‘I’m a pseudo expert by association.’ Jenny really did love her astrology. Kate didn’t put much stock into it, but if her friend liked it then she’d listen. It wasn’t like it was doing any harm, anyway, so she didn’t have a reason not to. Whatever made her happy was good enough for Kate. ‘What sign are you?’
‘Pisces.’
‘We’re both water signs.’
‘Is that all you know? I thought you were an expert?’
‘I only know enough to keep Jenny happy.’
‘And how much is that?’
‘Like basic knowledge about my own sign. And I know enough about her to just agree with whatever it is she tells me, most of the time.’
Emily snorted. Her laugh was different to how Kate imagined it. It was deeper. Lower. And far better than everything her limited imagination could’ve come up with. ‘A true expert then.’
‘Totally.’ Kate nodded sagely. Her blush had worn off. And she was less flustered than before.
‘This is it,’ said Emily with a flourishing wave of her hand at a large double door. Students were loitering outside, so Kate assumed the class before hers must’ve finished. And the light above the door wasn’t blinking red. So she must’ve made it in time. Just. Hopefully Iuan had grabbed them both good seats. She didn’t want to have to sit at the front. She always felt awkward when she made eye contact with the professor when she sat that close. She was pretty sure they could tell she didn’t have a clue about what was going on. She never did, in any lecture, it all kind of went in one ear and out the other. Also, that was the spit zone.
‘Thanks,’ said Kate with a crooked smile. ‘Sorry, again for earlier.’
‘Don’t worry about it, we’ve all been there. And walking you to class wasn’t exactly a hardship on my part.’
‘I guess I’ll see you around then,’ called Kate over her shoulder. Emily had already begun walking away in the opposite direction. She didn’t respond. But she smiled. And Kate took that as a yes.
Four
A First Date
The underpass was gratified. Kate was just happy the graffiti wasn’t of the distasteful variety. She could only take so many poorly spray painted multicolored dicks as she walked to class. She had her limits. Once you had seen one you’d seen them all and frankly it was getting boring. It just wasn’t creative. They could’ve just drawn a face out of it or put a crown on it or something. That would’ve made an interesting change. But no. They were everywhere. Funnily enough, though, the graffiti that defaced this particular underpass was not so much phallic in nature as it was … well, she wasn’t entirely sure what it was.
But upon closer inspection it looked like a milk carton. An empty one? Weird.
Why was she looking at bad graffiti art, late at night, in an underpass below the highway, you might be right to ask. Well, it all started with a text. A text from an unknown number. And normally Kate wouldn’t pay that any mind, she’d just put it down to a phishing campaign and block the number. She’d gotten one too many spam texts and calls from the Seychelles Islands to pay unknown numbers much mind.
She’d thought, with more interest than the idea probably warranted, of creating a script to automate the blocking process. But, honestly, it wasn’t worth the effort. It could’ve been an interesting concept, though. Something to test her skills. A little side project. Maybe she could rope Sam into it. The idea was growing on her the more she thought about it. Maybe it wasn’t so bad after all.
It was definitely something to consider …
But the mysterious text in question had not been one of those texts. It had been from Emily. And so, Kate had answered. She’d waited a minute or two before responding. She hadn’t wanted to look too eager. But she had typed away her reply with quick fingers and sweaty palms. She hadn’t thought things through. That was why she found herself here waiting for Emily. It was just past eight, and the sun had only now begun to set because summer was weird like that.
She felt a hand on her shoulder. And Kate died. A heart attack was surely, truly, inevitable. She didn’t even have a will, and alright, sure, it wasn’t like she had anything the bequeath, but still that felt like unfinished business. Maybe she’d come back as a ghost and haunt the underpass because of it. That wouldn’t be entirely unsatisfying. Lots of people to haunt, and didn’t Kate just love a bit of variety.
‘Kate?’
‘Dude,’ said Kate breathless and not in the way she liked, ‘has no one ever told you not to sneak up on people at night?’
‘It’s not even dark.’
‘It’s approaching, and besides that’s not the point. It’s a matter of principle. You nearly gave me a heart attack.’
‘You didn’t even scream.’
Kate felt her heart race a million miles an hour. She tried to control her breathing. Tried to make her heart stop racing. ‘I’m like a possum. I internalize that shit. It’s more of a silent terror on my part.’
‘Right.’ Emily wore a yellow floral dress with what appeared to be dandelions scattered all over it. It was light color. Happy and positive. And it wasn’t Kate’s style at all. It was the opposite of it really. She would’ve looked awkward in it. But it suited Emily.
The dress clung to her curves. It hugged the elegant arch of her shoulders and made her neck look impossibly long. She reminded Kate of a ballerina. Elegant and graceful.
Kate broke from her daze. Silence was good. Comfortable silences, that is. But not for too long. ‘What’s th
e plan?’
‘A walk and dinner? I heard there’s a really good burger joint a block or two away.’
‘Sounds great,’ said Kate. She’d already eaten but what was two meals? She was pretty sure she knew which restaurant Emily was talking about, and it was amazing. It was that rare breed of restaurant that supplied both quality and quantity that wouldn’t break the student budget. It was rare, rare, breed of restaurant indeed.
The two girls began to walk through the underpass and towards the college.
The old stone buildings of the campus loomed large. They were pretty and majestic and sort of other worldly in the soft light of the setting sun. There were still students walking around campus to and from from their late night classes. There were even people walking with their children and dogs. ‘Busy day?’ Kate peered at Emily curiously.
‘A little. I saw Sarah.’
‘Oh.’ Dangerous territory, thought Kate, time to be considerate and caring. Don’t be an elephant in china shop. Use tact. Don’t go saying anything you might regret.
She hadn’t wanted to broach that particular topic. Hadn’t wanted to touch it with a ten foot pole. But here they were now. ‘How was that?’ Kate tried to approach the topic tentatively. But hadn’t had much success.
‘Strange.’ Emily’s brows furrowed. ‘Really strange. It didn’t feel like how I thought it would.’
‘How did you think it would feel?’ asked Kate with morbid curiosity. It was almost masochistic. She couldn’t stop herself.
‘I thought it would hurt more.’ Emily paused. ‘It’s not like it didn’t hurt. It did. But it wasn’t like my entire world was ending. It was more like a dull ache.’
‘Like a tooth ache?’
‘No, it was more like a sore muscle.’
‘Well, that’s an improvement, at least?’
‘I just wish it was over. I wish I felt nothing at all. That would be a welcome relief.’
More Than Friends Page 5
