The Clash (The Permutation Archives Book 5)

by Kindra Sowder

  “Hey,” he greeted as he moved into the room.

  He wore a gray hoodie, black t-shirt, and black cargo pants with matching boots. He was already wearing our unofficial uniform, which made me smile a little.

  “Hi,” I replied softly. “Are they ready for me?”

  I made a move to rise from the chair, but John shook his head and cracked the door behind him. It was obvious why. He didn’t want me to feel trapped with him, knowing that I didn’t completely trust him despite what my sister said.

  “No, not yet. I was actually hoping I could talk to you for a minute before the procedure,” he admitted, moving toward the chair on the opposite side of the lab table.

  Nervously, I rubbed my sweaty palms on my shorts and nodded. “Umm, okay.”

  He approached the chair and placed his hand on the back, looking unsure of himself. His deep brown eyes flicked around the room, trying not to settle on me. I wasn’t certain why, but he couldn’t bring himself to look in my direction. He had seemed so sure of himself in my presence when he suggested this madness, but it seemed to have been a façade. Why did he feel the need to put up a front to begin with? I wasn’t certain if I should ask, so I watched him silently debate with himself.

  “Please, take a seat,” I said, trying to keep my tone as even as possible. “No sense in you standing if you want to have a genuine discussion.”

  “True enough,” he chuckled, pulling the chair back and sitting down. “Thanks.”

  John placed his hands on the countertop, fingers splayed as if to show me he had nothing to hide – that his intention wasn’t to harm. Of course, I didn’t believe he would try anything in the middle of the Fallen Paradigm’s home. That would have been reckless, and not to mention, stupid. Everyone would be on top of him before I took my last breath. Not that he needed weapons of any kind to end my life. No one did. I was powerless to stop any attack, especially with what little I knew about close combat. I knew enough to protect myself, but I relied heavily on my ability, and not having it made me realize how useless I felt without it.

  “No problem,” I assured him. “So, what do you need to talk to me about?”

  He laughed, short and clipped. “Straight to the point. I like that.”

  Crossing my arms over my chest, I replied with a smile, “It’s how I’ve always been. I also don’t trust easily, but I’m sure Gaia warned you about that already.”

  “She didn’t have to. I can’t say I blame you,” he said with a shake of his head. “I wouldn’t trust me either if I were in your shoes.”

  “I’m glad we can come to that understanding.” Staring at John, he still wouldn’t look at me – only watching his hands as if they would act of their own accord. “Come on, Baker, I know the small talk is a cushion. Let’s get it all out in the open. I know that’s why you’re here.”

  His gaze shot up to my face, all hints of the recent humor gone. Taking a deep, steadying breath, he licked his lips anxiously and straightened in his chair. He was nervous, but for what reason? I leaned forward with intrigue, placing my elbows on the counter.

  “I need you to know where I came from. I feel like knowing everything will help you trust me a little more, especially with Gaia between us.”

  He paused, waiting for my acknowledgment.

  “So, I was right? You two…”

  “Yeah,” he replied sheepishly, a slight blush of red taking residence on his cheeks.

  I sat there, silent for a moment, absorbing. I had a feeling before, but with confirmation of their relationship, it made this discussion he wanted to have all the more important. My baby sister meant the world to me, and I would do whatever it took to ensure that she was happy and safe. If John Baker was what it took, so be it.

  “I agree. Please,” I said, “continue.”

  “Right,” he sighed, rubbing one hand over his buzz cut. “There’s a lot to tell you. A lot to… I don’t know. It’s just...I’m not what you think I am, Mila. I was created to kill or capture you. That’s all you know. I haven’t fully told your sister this, but I want you to understand me. To understand us. Queen and I.”

  I listened quietly, deciding not to interrupt him until he was finished. Or until he wanted my input. For now, I was the silent observer, watching this rattled and nervous man tell me his life story. Tell me about himself in the best way he could so that I would understand because he felt it was important. I couldn’t have agreed more.

  “I woke up at Fuji-O’Hara, and I didn’t know anything. I didn’t know why I was there. I didn’t know anything. It was like I just woke up and…nothing. You know what that’s like? I didn’t know my name…nothing. Queen found out who I used to be and… I don’t know. I’m kind of glad I don’t remember.”

  He said the last with a soft chortle.

  Pushing forward, he continued, “I was born Quentin Griffin. I was in the military. Systems Analyst or something, I think. I had a wife. I had kids. Then I found out something. Something big,” he paused, tapping his index finger nervously on the countertop. “Emerson King had me, my wife, my kids…all murdered. Bullet right through my head. And then I woke up on a slab. New identity, new everything. I found out that I am some kind of science experiment, and that I have another being inside me. Connected. We are one. And we have to kill a girl. All we are told is that she is a traitor. It doesn’t feel right. I don’t want to do it.”

  I almost stopped breathing for a moment when I realized he was talking about me – the objective he was given. The target he needed to eliminate.

  “We don’t want to do it. So, we decide to run. We go through the training because, come to find out, my life-partner shouldn’t exist. So, they’re going to kill us. Well, we don’t want to die. So, we go through the training because we hope that the traitor can save us. Because…we don’t want to die.”

  Tears rimmed his eyes now, his first honest show of emotion in my presence since I awoke in Dead End.

  “Mila, that piece of shit has taken everything from me. Everything. A life I don’t remember, my best friend… All I have left is my heart, your sister, and an angry old man. I want King dead as badly as you do. And so long as there is life in Queen and I…we are going to kill that fucker. Plus, I love your sister. So, I want to do this because…it’s right. Your mother is a part of the reason I have a second chance. Queen has made sure they have no more power over me. I am Fallen Paradigm, one-hundred percent. So, just…I don’t know…I’m not the monster you think I am.”

  I sat there for a moment, listening to the ticking clock, unsure of how to respond after the loaded information I was just given. All information I hadn’t been privy to because of not only my lack of knowledge regarding a lot of what King had been up to, but because of my own willing ignorance. I was fine remaining blind to John Baker’s plight because he had made an attempt on my life and the lives of those that I loved. For me, there was nothing else that mattered. It had blinded me to the fact that he wasn’t what I thought, despite how many people told me and shown me the exact opposite of my assumptions. My anger and grief were also to blame.

  I am Fallen Paradigm, one-hundred percent.

  The conviction in his voice when he said those words solidified my newfound, fledgling respect for him. That, and the simple fact that he was able to face me after everything, and confided in me because he wanted this all to end just as much as we did. He wanted to live a peaceful, quiet life without war and without terror. After what he had been through, he deserved that as much as anyone else.

  “Mila?” John probed, pulling my attention back to him.

  I hadn’t realized I had been staring off into space as I thought about what he divulged to me. I took a deep breath and pushed it out while straightening in the chair, resting against the backing.

  “Yeah, I’m sorry, that’s…” I paused. “It’s a lot to take
in.”

  He nodded but didn’t say anything, waiting for me to say something – anything – else.

  “I definitely understand why you want him dead. In your situation, so would I,” I said.

  “But, you do, Mila. For your own reasons. I know stopping him for good won’t bring your mother, or anyone else, back, but it’s a damn good start. We can make the world a better place for everyone.”

  I grinned, turning eyes up to him. “There you go again, reminding me of someone I know.”

  He smiled in return and asked, “If you don’t mind my asking, who do I remind you of?”

  My eyes burned as I thought of Cato. With a small sniff, I wiped one teary eye with my index finger and tried desperately to hold back the sobs that were building in my chest and throat.

  “A friend of mine. Cato. He was a Special. A clairvoyant. When we were locked up in the Spartan Compound, I had angered King. I attempted to escape and made him look like a fool. Almost killed one of his soldiers who tried to stop me. So, as punishment, he forced me to kill Cato, stating that it would be the first full trial of my power’s limits and effects on the human body. King and his men had beaten Cato down so far that he begged for me to do it, and to make his death mean something. He had had a vision he shared with me the moment before he died, showing my fate as the one who would take King down once and for all. Before his death, he told me that I could make the world a better place. Whenever you say that it brings Cato to mind. Plus, Cato was able to transfer his own power and consciousness to me in that same moment. Every now and then, I feel him and hear him,” I pointed at my temple, “in here. I’ve even had a few visions. The last one was on Kiawah Island before…” I trailed off.

  “Before King and his soldiers came in,” Baker finished.

  “Yeah,” I sighed.

  “So, we have two broken people trying to put the world back together. What could possibly go wrong?”

  I heard the joke in his voice, but also knew the gravity of his words. They were some of the truest words ever spoken, and I never thought I’d ever agree with this man. But here I was, working hand-in-hand with the man that had almost been my undoing because he didn’t have a choice in the matter. He was just as scared as the rest of us, and seeing it in his eyes, made me trust him even more than I originally wanted to.

  “I guess so.” I grinned idiotically, realizing just how much sense John made. “There’s no telling what’ll happen. I’m just hoping we kill King. Anything aside from that is just collateral damage.”

  John chuckled, resting his open hand on his chest just over his beating heart. Just over the place, from what little knowledge I held about his condition, where Queen lay. She was his control center, his constant companion no matter what. How could I deny him an outside ally, especially after such an admission of his obvious guilt in what happened between the two of us in Charleston? A part of me wanted to wave the white flag – show him that I wasn’t as bad as he wanted to remember. I wasn’t as unforgiving as he thought, but another part wanted to be the exact persona that was etched forever into his mind. I sighed, letting the laughter die off as my mind raced with the possibilities of what all this meant in the end.

  “So, are we okay? Me and you?” he asked, motioning between the two of us. “I need to know we are okay before we go in there. They already have what they need from me. Putting it in you is the last step, and I want this to work. If something goes south, I need to know that we’re not holding anything against one another.”

  I nodded in earnest. “We’re okay, John.”

  He smirked and crossed his arms in achievement. “You just called me John instead of Baker.”

  I had, and I didn’t regret it. The use of his first name meant something to him. It was important, showing my trust in him since this all began.

  Placing my hand on the countertop, I said, “I did, so don’t fuck this up.”

  “Oh, I won’t. Trust me,” he replied.

  I carefully scanned his face for a moment, learning quickly that he wasn’t completely truthful. If he didn’t mess any of this up, it would be because of my sister. My little sister that had turned his mechanical heart into a living, beating thing that felt something other than the cold power-driven life he was meant to lead because of King and Fuji-O’Hara Industries.

  “Good.”

  Just as I said the word, the door to the room opened, and Gaia stepped in, staring worriedly at the two of us as we giggled at our own conversation. Her icy blue eyes went wide and then relaxed at the awareness we were getting along. Her blonde hair was down and flowed beautifully around her slender shoulders, just as our mother’s had before her passing. Everything about her reminded me of our mother, the strong and independent woman who had done so much we never realized before we ever had a chance to truly know her. I still wished I had the opportunity, but hindsight was twenty-twenty. There were a lot of things I would wish for that would never occur.

  “Oh, good, you guys are getting along,” she exclaimed. “That’s good.”

  She came around toward John, standing at the back of his chair with her hand on his shoulder. She looked at him adoringly, the smile on her lips soft and loving. I could see how much she cared about him, and just how much he loved her when he looked back at her. It was apparent that they cared deeply about one another, much like myself and Ryder, who held a checkered past just as bad as John’s was.

  “It was touch-and-go for a minute, but, yeah,” I admitted. “We’re getting along.”

  She nodded and glanced at him for a second before averting her gaze back to me.

  “Well, as much as I hate to get in the middle of this little come to Jesus moment, they’re ready for you, Mila,” Gaia stated.

  My heart skipped one of many beats in the last few moments, catching up with where it should be as soon as Gaia said the words. My hands shook as they rested on the countertop of the lab table, never coming to rest with my impending extreme medical procedure. This was an experiment as much as was my initial injection of the serum that put me in the position in the first place. Taking a deep, shaking breath, I opened my mouth and spoke to my baby sister.

  “I’m as ready as I’ll ever be, I guess,” I confessed. “All we can do now is go in there and do what we need to do, and hope it works.”

  “Well, then, let’s go before we all lose our nerve,” Gaia shrugged.

  My determination was already disappearing – something I couldn’t tell her.

  “Yes, please, before I lose my nerve,” I responded, standing up from my chair.

  John came toward me, moving around the table with a soldier’s grace. His hand came down on my shoulder, and his brown eyes were exhausted, the same stress I felt moving through him at the same speed. The adrenaline made everything move even slower than usual, making this entire experience into a slow-motion horror flick that I could’ve never prepared for.

  I was excited and nervous all at the same time, and his next words eased my mind, slowing my heartbeat just a fraction.

  “You are going to be okay, I know that for a fact. You’re strong, and even if King’s influence still resides in those Nanos, you can fight it. I can promise you that.”

  “Thanks,” I paused, wiping my hands on my shorts again, “I can only hope.”

  And it was the truth.

  Chapter

  NINTEEN

  The procedure room was set up in such a way that I couldn’t doubt the validity of what I was about to go through. It was dim – much darker than I expected it to be, but I was surrounded by the ones that mattered. Julius, Cecilia, Ryder, Gaia, and Doctor Aserov were littered about the room as I sat in a repurposed dialysis chair while the others continued on with their assigned duties – John Baker on the opposite side of the room with his arms crossed over his chest like a guard dog. I wasn’t certain how they had
removed it from the hospital, but I was not about to ask questions. Just like I wasn’t going to when it came to the other equipment and supplies that they somehow pilfered.

  Don’t ask. Don’t tell. That was my new motto.

  Ryder stood beside me, opposite the side where the IV pole stood on its tiny wheels. There wasn’t anything hanging from it yet, and an IV wasn’t inserted into my arm, but I knew that was coming. Doctor Aserov was on the other side of the room finishing the prep on the Nanos. Along with the Nano injection, I would be getting a bag of fluids to help them circulate through my system. From what I understood, the Nanos would move through my cells and rid them of the serum, flushing them expertly from my body through my kidneys – one reason I needed the IV fluids. To help move it out without issue.

  I was a bundle of nerves, each ending raw with anxiety while I impatiently waited to be injected with something where we could only guess how it would actually work. The science was there. The explanation was all there, especially since we had seen on more than one occasion what they did for John. Of course, I wasn’t John. I wasn’t a soldier, and I was not engineered for their use as he was.

  “Are you ready?” Doctor Aserov asked, turning toward me with an IV bag of clear fluids in one hand, and the supplies needed for my injection in the other.

  Looking up at Ryder, then back at her, I pushed a deep breath out of my lungs and replied, “As ready as I’ll ever be.”

  She came toward me, flipping her hair away from where it fell over her eyes when she was preparing for the procedure. Julius and Cecilia shifted uncomfortably, Julius placing his hand on the grip of the pistol on his hip that I didn’t realize was there. His face was stern, his eyes even more metallic than usual with the promise shining behind them. Tears rimmed Cecilia’s. She may have made the same promise to me that Julius had, but she was less likely to follow through, which was why I asked them both. If one couldn’t, the other could. Seeing the look on Julius’ face, I knew the latter would be him.