Harder Than Words

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “But…but if you had, I don’t know what I would have done, Luc.”

  “I know that. And I know if you hadn’t married Richard you wouldn’t have Cliff and Sasha.”

  Her eyes widened, and he brushed his thumb along her jaw. “So many choices, so many paths, and yet I had to go through them, Luc. I wouldn’t change anything if it meant I had to lose my babies.”

  “I know that, sugar. That’s why we’re moving forward now.”

  “We can’t forget the past, Luc. There’s too much of it to ignore.” She might want to forget Richard, forget that Luc had wanted her then, but she couldn’t.

  “I know that, but we can look forward while acknowledging the past exists. There’s a difference.”

  If only she could see it. If only she could take the risk.

  “Okay,” she said softly.

  “And try to have fun. I promise I don’t bite.” He met her gaze and smiled. “Unless you ask me to. Then I’ll take a nibble.”

  She laughed even as her insides warmed. “I think I like this side of you. All rubbing and biting. Who knew?”

  He licked his lips. “There’s more. You just have to ask for it.”

  She sucked in a breath. They were parked on the backside of the restaurant near the streetlight but not in the light. Instead, it felt, for the moment, as if they were all alone.

  Thank God the console was between them, or she might just fall into his arms right there—doubts or no.

  Luc pulled on the center console, and it lifted up to form a bench seat.

  Well, fuck.

  “If you keep looking at me like that, I’m going to press you up against that door and kiss you until neither of us can breathe.”

  She swallowed hard, her nipples pressing against her bra. “You like pressing me up against doors.”

  He grinned, sexy and slow. “Hell, yeah. I can’t help it. I kind of like you at my mercy.” He frowned suddenly, and she tilted her head. “Am I scaring you? Going too fast? Too hard?”

  Those words brought up images she couldn’t quite push out of her mind. Luc thrusting, backs arching, fingernails digging…

  She cleared her throat. “I’m not scared.” Much. “I…uh…no one’s really spoken to me like that before. I didn’t know you spoke like that at all.”

  He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. “I’m just getting to know who I am around you. If I go too fast, you tell me. I’ll back off.” He met her gaze, and she knew he was serious. “If I do anything that takes you to a place you don’t want to be, you tell me. I won’t hurt you, Meghan, but you need to know you can speak up.”

  Just hearing those words, having his voice wrap around her, let her relax. She hadn’t even realized she’d tensed up. She knew he spoke of Richard. He didn’t know what her ex had done to her, and she would have to explain soon, but the fact that he worried told her he knew more than she liked.

  The fact that he cared…the fact that he’d made it a conscious decision…she knew she could do this. If only for a night.

  “Kiss me,” she said softly. “Kiss me.”

  He smiled. “Necking with you in a car? I can get down with that.”

  She snorted. “No one says necking anymore, Luc.”

  “We’re older, sugar. We don’t have to be hip with the slang.”

  Meghan’s eyes crossed, and she laughed. Yes, they were older, and he was far sexier than he had been when they used to speak the lingo. She liked this Luc and how he blended with the Luc she’d had in her head.

  She laughed again but ended it on a moan as he held her head, crushing his mouth to hers. His tongue tangled with hers, and she arched her back, wanting more. Somehow he’d ended up on her side of the truck, and her back was pressed against the door like he’d wanted. Her breasts rubbed along his chest, and they both moaned. He licked at her lips, nibbling here and there, sending shockwaves down her body.

  He pulled away, leaving them both breathless. “Damn, you kiss good.”

  “You’re not too bad yourself.” She straightened as he moved away then blinked. “We steamed up the windows. In a parking lot. At a restaurant.”

  Luc raised a brow then wiped her lip gloss off his mouth. Oops. “Apparently we’re still young.”

  She met his gaze, knowing he meant more than just steaming up a few windows. “I like the sound of that.” Most days she felt old as hell, working until her back ached, then working a bit more. But right then, in his arms, she felt the years melt away.

  “You ready to go inside and get food, and try to act responsible? If not, I’ll gladly take you to a lookout and make out with you some more.”

  She shook her head, even as she grinned. “I’m hungry, and I think making out with you in your truck is only a one-time thing.”

  “Is it?” he asked, his voice low.

  She raised a brow of her own then opened the truck door. “We’ll have to see. Won’t we?” She had no idea who this teasing Meghan was—the one who made out in a truck where anyone could see her—but she liked her.

  It reminded her of the laughing girl she used to be, the one with no troubles and only a bright future ahead. Was Luc giving it to her? Or was she merely living in the past?

  It didn’t matter. Not this night. The world would return tomorrow, and she’d take the next step. But for tonight, she’d do what Luc said and live in the moment.

  She liked the Meghan in this moment.

  If only she was real.

  Chapter Eight

  “Knock, knock! We come bearing goods!”

  Luc cursed and set down his book. He’d been planning on doing nothing that Sunday afternoon to prepare for a hard week. Now it seemed he wouldn’t be getting much of what he wanted.

  “Mom, you know I gave you that key for emergencies. You could have just knocked for real.” He stood up and took the bags from his mother but didn’t move. Instead, he watched his mother move to the kitchen island and smile at him.

  “Why? You have that woman hiding here?”

  He met his mother’s eyes at Tessa’s outburst and bit his tongue. He didn’t want to make a scene in front of his mother. Wait. Why was he bothering to be nice to Tessa when she acted this way?

  “What did I say about calling Meghan ‘that woman’, Tessa?”

  Tessa sniffed and set her bags on the counter. “God. You’re harping on me after I spent the morning getting your groceries? Some nice baby brother you are.”

  Luc crossed his eyes, his hands fisting at his sides, and his mother sighed.

  “Tessa, shut up,” Maggie said then put her hand on her hip. “We’re not having this conversation again.”

  “Mom—”

  “I said, no more!”

  Luc raised his brow at his sister, who stuck her tongue out at him. And she was the older sibling. He walked into the kitchen and leaned down to give his mom a kiss on the cheek.

  “You know I love you, Mom, but why did you buy me groceries? I went two days ago.”

  She shrugged, but he didn’t miss the gleam in her eyes. She wanted dirt, and taking care of him was just a ploy. Damn, she hadn’t changed in all the years he’d been gone. It warmed him inside, even though it annoyed him at the same time.

  “I just want to make sure you’re taking care of yourself, baby. You’re a growing boy.”

  Tessa snorted again, and he smacked her on the back of the head. “Mom! Luc’s hitting me.”

  “I swear to God, you two. You’re grown adults. Act like it.”

  “You just said I was a growing boy and called me a baby,” Luc said with a smile. “Am I grown or not?”

  Maggie waved her finger at him, her eyes sparkling. “Don’t use your fancy logic on me, boy. Now put away the milk before it goes bad.”

  “I have milk, Mom.” But he put the milk away anyway.

  “No, you have white water, not milk. You need fat on your bones.”

  “Maybe if you had a better woman, she’d take care of you,” Tessa mumbled, and Luc growled.<
br />
  That was it. Fuck this shit.

  “Okay. Get the fuck out, Tessa. If you’re going to be a bitch, just leave.”

  “What? I don’t know what you see in her, Luc. She’s not good enough for you.”

  “Because she married someone else? Because she had a life before me?” His voice rose, and he shook his mother’s hand off his arm. “Because, if that’s the case, you can get the fuck out of my house and never come back. I thought better of you.”

  Tessa’s eyes filled, and she shook her head. His sister had her own issues, but he’d never heard her say something like that before. “Fuck. I’m sorry. I don’t mean that. God, you know I don’t. I just don’t like that she hurt you. Damn it. I didn’t mean to say what I did. I don’t even think that. She left you high and dry before, and now you’re following her around like a lapdog. I don’t want you to break when she leaves you or when she can’t handle a relationship with you.”

  Luc closed his eyes and counted to ten. His mother whispered to Tessa beside him, but he tuned her out.

  “If you think Meghan’s going to leave me because she didn’t love me before, then you don’t know her. If you think she’s going to leave me because she left me before, then you’re thinking wrong. She didn’t leave me. She didn’t have me. We’ve had this conversation before, Tessa, and I am not having it again. I loved her when I was a kid. I won’t deny that, but as an adult, I have strong feelings for her. I might love her. I don’t know. That’s something that takes time. But I’m going to fucking take that time with my eyes wide open. If you can’t handle that, then it’s your problem. Not mine.”

  “Luc, language.” His mother didn’t sound sincere, and he heard the anger under her words. Some reprimands were just instinct.

  “It’s Sunday, folks. I wanted to take the day off, read a book, and veg. Tomorrow, I’m up to my ass in work shit, and I get to see Meghan and try to figure out how we’re going to work and be together. Plus, I need to deal with all the Montgomerys I work with. I would love to be able to say everything is going to work out, but we don’t know anything. Nothing is set in stone, and you guys know that. I love you guys, but I’m not going to sit here and defend my relationship to you. I’m fucking pissed that I have to do that at all.”

  “Luc Dodd, you do not need to defend Meghan to me. You know I loved that girl like my own. I want to know her now, and that means you will bring her by for a meal once you’re ready.” She winked, and he relaxed marginally. “Or when I think you’re ready and I invite her myself.”

  “Mom.”

  “Shut it. You’re allowed your privacy, but I want to know about this girl and you. I want to see you happy—and she used to make you so happy even if she put sadness in your eyes at the same time. I pray that sadness came from the lack of momentum in your relationship and when she married that poor excuse for a man. Now, I’m taking Tessa away, and you can have the rest of your Sunday.” She kissed his cheek when he leaned down for her. “Baby, if you talk like that to me again, I’ll spank your ass. Okay?”

  He smiled despite himself. “I’m sorry, Mom. I was angry with Tessa. Not you.”

  “I’m right here, you know. And I didn’t appreciate your tone either.”

  He flipped his sister off, and his mom slapped his arm. “My house. My rules.” He grinned as he said it, not wanting to piss his mom off, considering she really would spank his ass at his age. “And watch your mouth about Meghan. Got me, Tess? I love you like a sister, but I don’t like the person you become when you hate on Meghan.”

  “I am your sister, asshole,” she muttered, but kissed his cheek anyway.

  By the time he got them out of the house and the groceries he didn’t need in the first place put away, his head ached like a bitch. He sank into the couch and closed his eyes, trying to push Tessa’s words out of his head. It would hurt like hell if Meghan left him; he knew that, but she’d taken a chance and things had gone well the night before. He could still taste her on his lips if he kept his eyes closed. They’d had only one date. He needed to stop thinking the worst and let things happen.

  Of course, he could do his best to make sure she kept thinking of him.

  He pulled out his phone and sent a text to the woman on his mind.

  Enjoying your Sunday? Hope you’re taking care of yourself.

  It pinged right away, and he grinned. At least she wasn’t avoiding him after their first date. That was progress. He hated the fact that she constantly had doubts, but he couldn’t blame her. She had her kids to think about and an ex-husband who’d fucked things up long before Luc came back to Denver.

  The kids wanted to build a fort, so I’m buried under blankets with the dog and ignoring bills. So yes, I’m enjoying my Sunday. You?

  He smiled, thinking of her under blankets and pillows with her kids. He couldn’t believe he’d put on that damn tiara for Sasha the night before, but the kid had him wrapped around her finger, and she knew it.

  Guard my dragon and knight. See you Monday, sugar.

  As soon as he hit Send, he cursed. He’d downright claimed her kids in a text. Well, that was stupid. He knew she’d put up that barrier—or at least tried to—as soon as she walked into the living room and saw them together. Calling them his, even in a silly text message, was idiotic and moving way too fast.

  Will do. See you Monday.

  He let out a breath. Well, she didn’t sound angry. That was something. Maybe he was thinking too hard. Or maybe he wasn’t thinking at all. Meghan sure as hell kept him on his toes.

  The next day, he strode into Montgomery Inc. and froze at the looks on the brothers’ faces.

  Well shit.

  They knew.

  How they knew, he didn’t know, but the Montgomery grapevine was one of legend.

  He let his gaze leave theirs for a moment to search the room, but he didn’t see Meghan. He hadn’t seen her truck in the parking lot, but that meant nothing since she was either getting it fixed or using her Dad’s at the moment. Still, he needed to keep his attention on the two men in front of him who looked as though they wanted to wring his neck.

  This could either end fucked up or only a little shitty.

  Mixing business with pleasure was never the best thing. Adding in family? Well, that was just a recipe for disaster.

  “We need to talk,” Wes said, frowning.

  Storm tilted his head. “Take a seat.”

  Luc didn’t want to take a seat. These two were the ones who pulled Griffin off Decker when their brother went after their best friend for a very similar thing, but that meant nothing now. Different sister. Different set of circumstances.

  “I take it you heard.”

  “Heard what?” Wes asked. “That you and Meghan went out on a date? Her first date since that dickwad? Yeah. We heard. Sasha told Leif. Leif told Austin. News travels.”

  “She’s an adult,” Luc said. “She’s making her own choices. You know I would never hurt her.”

  Storm nodded. “We know that. That’s why we’re not acting like Griffin and kicking your ass. You’re a good man, Luc, and I know you loved her when you were younger.”

  Luc blinked at that revelation then froze when someone sucked in a breath behind him.

  Fuck.

  He turned on his heel and spotted Meghan at the door, her eyes wide, her cheeks flushed with color.

  “What?” she gasped then held up her hand. “No, that is not something I need to find out from my brothers.” She met Luc’s gaze then came to his side. She didn’t take his hand. This was their place of work, and it made sense, but the feel of her body next to his let him relax a bit.

  “You two…I can’t believe you two.”

  Her brothers held up their hands at the same instant, looking so much like the twins they were that Luc almost laughed.

  “We didn’t hit him,” Wes said quickly. “Honest. We just needed to do the brother thing. You’re ours.”

  “We were worried,” Storm said softly. “We shouldn�
��t be. It’s Luc. But we love you.”

  Meghan sighed, and Luc looked down to see her wiping a tear. He wanted to help and wipe away her sadness, but doing that in front of her brothers, at their place of business, wouldn’t be smart right then. Instead, he fisted his hands by his sides and did his best to keep in control.

  “I love you two idiots. And really, you shouldn’t be worried. I’m the one who’s supposed to be worried.”

  Luc turned then. “You’re worried?” he blurted out. He knew she had doubts, but the way she said it right then didn’t sit well.

  Meghan threw her arms up in the air. “See? This is why I didn’t want to talk about this at work…no. Well, crap. I need to go to the job site, and all of you need to do the same. Wes and Storm, I love you both, but this is my life. Not yours. You’re welcome to keep your opinions to yourselves. Luc? We can talk about everything later. Promise.”

  With that, she stormed off, leaving the three men staring in her wake.

  “We weren’t going to hit you,” Wes rasped out. “We just wanted to know your intentions.”

  Luc snorted. “I’d tell Harry my intentions first, dude. You know that.”

  Storm shook his head. “She’s yours. She’s always been yours. I get that. We’ll leave you be. But, Luc, you hurt her, we hurt you.”

  “I hurt her, I’ll let you hurt me.”

  His mind heavy, he picked up his papers from his desk then headed back out to his truck. So far, not the best way to start the day but clearly not the worst. They’d figure it out together—he just hoped there’d be a together to figure out.

  He pulled up to the job site to see Meghan frowning over her plans. He knew he should give her some space, but he didn’t like how they’d left things.

  “Meghan.”

  She looked up and gave him a small smile. Progress. “Sorry for storming out. I was just so embarrassed.”

  He stopped moving and blinked. “You’re apologizing? I was the one who should have done that.”

  “No, it was me. We needed to talk about how work was going to go, and if my brothers hadn’t come at you, I think we could have left it professional.”