Harder Than Words

by Carrie Ann Ryan

  “I need to fix the kids’ plates,” Meghan said, breaking into his thoughts. “Do you want me to get you something?”

  He shook his head. “No, I’m good. You need help?”

  “I’ve got it. Go talk with my brothers and make sure they’re okay. I know they’re happy for Decker and Miranda, but they’re still freaked that their baby sister is married.”

  He grinned despite himself and kissed her temple. “I can do that. Don’t want them beating the poor guy for groping his wife.”

  “Little ears,” she said with a smile, and he rolled his eyes.

  “Gotcha.” He set Sasha down on her feet, nodded at Cliff, and headed back to where Griffin stood in the corner, nursing a beer.

  “Hey, Griff. You thinking too hard over here?”

  Griffin blinked as if he’d been lost in thought, and shook his head before nodding.

  Luc snorted. “Yeah, that answer made sense.”

  “Sorry, my brain was on this scene that’s been giving me trouble.”

  “Aren’t you on deadline?” Luc asked.

  “Past it, actually,” Griffin answered dryly.

  “No shit? Isn’t that a first?” Very unlike Griffin. Wes might be the highly organized brother, but Griffin, despite his lack of neatness at home, worked on schedule to a scary degree.

  “Yep, which pisses me off. I should be home writing but…” He shrugged, and Luc nodded.

  “It’s your baby sister’s wedding.”

  “Yep. She’s only two down from me since Alex is between us in age, but she’s still my baby sister. And she’s married and looking into the future.”

  “Wedding bells ringing in your ears, Griff?” Luc didn’t think the man had a steady girlfriend, but he didn’t know everything about the Montgomerys. There were too many of them to know it all, though Maya tried.

  “Nothing like that, not yet anyway. And speaking of wedding bells, looks like you and Meghan are pretty serious.” He looked over Luc’s shoulder, and Luc moved to see Meghan standing with her kids.

  “I think we’re getting serious,” Luc said honestly. “But I don’t want to spook her.”

  “Going to be hard not to with Richard lurking like he is.”

  “Fucking bastard,” he grumbled.

  “Amen.”

  “Talking about that piece of trash, Dick?” Alex slurred as he strolled up to them. There was an angry look in his eyes that set Luc on alert. Shit. This wasn’t going to end well.

  “Hey, man, let’s get you a water,” Luc said, trying to keep his tone low.

  “Fuck off, Luc. I don’t know what it is about this family and trying to get me water, but I’m tired of it. Plus, bro, you aren’t family.”

  “Alex,” Griffin snapped. “What the fuck is your problem?”

  Well, shit. Luc put his hand on Griffin’s arm, hoping he would get the hint. This was neither the time nor the place to do this. Miranda and Decker deserved a day filled with happy memories after the shit they’d been through. Confronting Alex right now wasn’t the best option. Yeah, they needed to, but it could wait a couple hours.

  Or so he thought.

  From the manic look in Alex’s eyes, perhaps they’d all waited too long.

  “My problem? My fucking problem is that we’re letting Miranda marry a man too old for her. Fuck, we’re letting her get married at all. You’ve seen what happens when we Montgomerys get married. We fuck it up.”

  Luc stepped forward, but Alex raised his hand. The man’s arm shook, so Luc didn’t move any more than he had. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Sierra and Meghan slowly back the children out of the room, but the rest of the Montgomerys and crew had their eyes on the show in front of them.

  “Alex,” Luc said calmly. “Let’s talk about this outside. You can tell me everything, but let’s do it somewhere else.”

  “Fuck you, Luc. You’re not even family. Why are you here?”

  The slurred words didn’t hurt; they couldn’t. Not when the agony in Alex’s gaze was far worse than anything Luc could feel.

  “Luc,” Marie whispered, coming closer to her son. Alex raised his arm, and she froze.

  Damn it.

  “Jessica left me a long fucking time ago, but we stayed together. For what? For vows? They mean nothing. Mom and Dad are together, but for how long? Look at him! He’s fucking dying, and we’re not talking about it. Sure, Sierra and Austin are happy now, but she almost died giving him a kid, and now he wants more? Sooner or later it will be too much, and that’s another marriage down the drain.” Alex threw back the last of his drink and dropped the tumbler on the floor.

  It bounced off the carpet, its muted thud echoing in Luc’s ears.

  “And Meghan, let’s talk about that, shouldn’t we?” Alex sneered. “Richard beat her down until she was just a fucking shadow of herself. Is that what marriage does? Makes us nothing? She’s not even through with the bastard, and now she’s leading you on a chain because she can’t not be with a man. We’re letting Miranda follow the same path because we’re clueless. Marriage is for the weak. Marriage is a lie.”

  A slow rage built up in Luc’s veins. He knew these weren’t the words of a sane and healthy man. The drink had rotted the man’s brains, the agony of whatever had caused Alex’s divorce long since erasing the man the Montgomerys loved. Luc just hoped it wasn’t too late because it took everything within him not to beat the shit out Alex for daring to speak like he did of Meghan and the rest of the Montgomerys.

  “What?” Alex snapped, taking a look at the wide-eyed family around him. “Like you haven’t thought it. I’m the only one brave enough to say it.”

  Before Luc could blink, Alex staggered toward him, his fist coming at Luc. He moved out of the way just as Alex powered forward. Only he hadn’t thought about the glass table behind him. Someone screamed, and Alex crashed through the glass coffee table, shards of glass spraying across the room, embedding in Luc’s skin.

  “Alex!” Miranda screamed.

  Luc knelt down, careful of the glass, and tried to help the man up, only he froze at the sight of a large piece sticking out of Alex’s side.

  “Call an ambulance,” Luc barked.

  “On it,” Jake said from his side. “Fuck, we can’t move him, not without making the glass go deeper.”

  “Fuck off,” Alex slurred then passed out, either from pain or drink, Luc didn’t know. But the anguish in the other man’s eyes put away any anger on Luc’s part. The man needed help, not his fists.

  “Luc?” Meghan whispered from behind him.

  “Get back, everyone,” he bit out. “There’s glass everywhere.”

  “You’re bleeding,” she said, and this time her voice was stronger.

  He looked down at the patches of blood but shook his head. “They’re superficial. Tiny cuts. We need to keep Alex still until the ambulance comes. Just make sure the kids stay out of here.”

  Meghan put her hand on his shoulder, even though he’d told her to go. “They are. Sierra is with them. I need to make sure you’re okay.” Her voice sounded hollow.

  He stood up on shaky legs as Decker and Griffin came forward, keeping Alex still while doing what they could to stop the bleeding.

  “Let me take care of you,” Meghan said softly.

  “Okay,” he whispered back, following her, his body shaking.

  Alex had fucked up, but so had the rest of them. They’d let him get this far, and they hadn’t been able to do anything. They all said that Alex had to want to get help in order to find his way, and they tried to do what they could, but it hadn’t been enough. Alex had officially hit rock bottom, and Luc had no idea what would come next.

  The only thing he did know was that Meghan’s hands were on him, stripping off his shirt in the kitchen while she looked for the small cuts.

  “The ambulance is coming,” Marie said from the doorway. Luc met her eyes, and his heart broke for her. “We’ll make sure they look at you too, Luc.” She thinned her lips then turned
back to where her son lay bleeding and broken on her white carpet.

  His gaze landed on the wedding cake, uncut and pristine. It seemed Miranda and Decker would always remember this day, only Luc knew it wouldn’t be for the way it should have been. He met Meghan’s eyes and sighed.

  “I’m okay.”

  Meghan swallowed hard. “I’m not,” she whispered.

  She didn’t lean closer, as if afraid of the glass in his skin, and he didn’t blame her. He just rested his forehead on hers and let out a breath. He had her by his side, no matter what Alex said. That had to count for something.

  It had to.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Meghan’s hands shook. It wasn’t shock. She knew that much. It had to be nerves or maybe pure exhaustion. The sun’s rays shone in her bathroom, and she let out a breath. Exhaustion might be the answer.

  She hadn’t slept all night, and now the sun rose, signaling a morning she knew she wasn’t ready for. She ran a hand through her hair. Talk about a lost cause. She needed a shower and a truck full of coffee so she could make it through the day. In fact, she might need two trucks’ worth.

  Today’s plan entailed dinner with Luc’s family, and Luc’s mother had invited Cliff and Sasha as well. Only Meghan didn’t feel up to meeting his parents again after so long and dealing with anyone other than her family after yesterday’s debacle. She still couldn’t believe Alex’s words—let alone his actions.

  She knew he drank too much, but like the rest of her family, she’d been so focused on her own life she’d missed the signs that things had turned dangerous. The fault rested on her shoulders as much as it did Alex’s. He’d been in pain and had turned to the bottle rather than his family.

  Of course, Meghan had turned inward and focused on becoming independent and raising her children rather than drinking, but she couldn’t blame Alex for his decisions. At least not on such a short amount of sleep. He’d hurt himself far worse physically than he had anyone else, but she’d never forget the blood on Luc’s arms and chest. She could forgive her brother for his words over time, but hurting Luc and himself would be something that would take time to forgive.

  At least she still had a brother to forgive.

  If the glass had been slightly to the right, she’d have lost him then and there. Her knees went weak, and she had to grip the sink to keep from falling. She licked her lips, the taste of bile on her tongue acidic.

  Griffin had jumped in the ambulance with Alex, with Maya and Jake following in Jake’s SUV. Dad had nixed the idea of all of them going in support. It had been a blow to hear the words, but she understood. They needed to get the kids home, he needed rest, and Decker and Miranda needed to enjoy what was left of their wedding night. Decker had lived with a drunk, abusive father for most of his life. He didn’t need to see more of that on the day that should have been the happiest of his life.

  All of that merely veiled the real reason—Alex needed help, and he wouldn’t get it if they attacked him or overcrowded him. She knew only second-hand what had happened in the hospital, and it hadn’t been pretty.

  Griffin had done his best to keep their brother safe and still so he could get stitched up. Then when Alex had thrown him out, he let Maya and Jake take over. Meghan didn’t know what had been said, but whatever they’d done, it worked.

  The two of them got Alex into a local rehab program that would take him in as soon as he was medically discharged.

  Their brother was an alcoholic.

  An alcoholic that had hurt himself and almost hurt so many more.

  Things could have been far worse, but that didn’t matter. Her baby brother’s pain had been too great, and now she didn’t know how to help him. She’d heard the words he’d said about her, had let each blow sink in because he’d spoken a version of the truth. She wasn’t that woman anymore. She wasn’t the shadow Richard had made her. Yet, sometimes, when she wasn’t cognizant of it, she knew she let the shadow creep in.

  She couldn’t do that anymore. Not when she needed to be the self she’d created on her own in the past year…and with Luc in these last weeks.

  She turned from the mirror at a soft knock on the door. Luc walked in, sweats riding low on his hips. Her gaze followed the strong lines of his chest and stomach, pausing on the small cuts on his skin. Nothing had been too deep, and the paramedic hadn’t even brought Luc to the hospital, instead saying he’d be fine but they should watch for signs of infection. Nothing had needed stiches; nothing would leave permanent scars.

  And yet she couldn’t get the sight of blood on flesh out of her mind.

  “Meghan?”

  “You were bleeding,” she whispered.

  His eyes filled with pity, and he moved forward, his arms out. She leaned into his hold, pressing her nose to his skin, inhaling his scent, making sure he was real. He wrapped his arms around her and nuzzled the top of her head with his cheek.

  “I was. But I’m not anymore. I’m okay, Meghan.” He pulled back and studied her face. She wanted to duck under his scrutiny but didn’t. “I wish we could have slept, but we were waiting on that phone call.”

  The phone call from Jake that hadn’t come until an hour ago. She and Luc had stayed up all night talking and just holding one another until they’d heard about Alex.

  “I feel like I need to sleep, but the kids will be up soon, and then we need to get ready for the day.”

  He trailed his hand down her back and cupped her ass. It was more of a casual grab, as if he just liked resting it there. She didn’t push him away. In fact, she liked it.

  “We can cancel on my family. They’ll understand.”

  She held back a wince. As much as she wanted to do just that, she couldn’t. “No, we can’t. We can get the kids up, feed them, and then maybe take a nap before we go. I know your mom will understand, but Tessa never liked me, and not showing up will just make it harder.”

  Luc had been honest and told her exactly what Tessa had been saying. It cut deep, but at least he didn’t keep things from her. She needed to prove to the other woman, as well as herself, that she was worth Luc’s attentions and care.

  “I hate that you feel you need to do that, sugar. They’ll understand,” he repeated.

  “And maybe I could use a distraction from what’s going on.”

  He met her gaze and nodded. “Okay, then.” His mouth tilted up. “I have an idea of another distraction if you want. Plus, it will save water.”

  She shook her head. “That’s a bad line.”

  “Let me take care of you,” he whispered. “You took care of me yesterday. Now it’s my turn.”

  “Won’t you get tired of taking care of me?”

  He cupped her face. “Never.”

  ****

  He got them both naked and into the shower, his movements slow, careful. He turned on the spray, careful to let his back take the brunt of it. Meghan’s eyes closed as he massaged shampoo into her hair. She let him move her around like a puppet, groaning every so often when he dug his fingers into her scalp.

  “Feel good, sugar?”

  “You always feel good,” she murmured. She opened her eyes and put her hands on his stomach. “Make love to me, Luc.”

  He swallowed hard. “I don’t have a condom, baby.”

  “We don’t need one. We’re both clean, and I’m on the pill.”

  He nodded at his cock, standing at attention at the thought of being in her bare. “Okay, baby. You know I’ll always want you.” He cupped her face, knowing he might be making a mistake, but he couldn’t help it. “I love you, Meghan.”

  Her eyes widened, and he held back a curse. “Luc.”

  “No, don’t say anything. It’s too soon for you, and you have too much on your mind, but I needed to say it. Now let me love you, let me make love to you.” He kissed her before she could respond, knowing he’d taken the coward’s way out. He hadn’t been able to hold back his feelings any longer, not when things were so raw with Alex’s words and actions.
r />   He had no regrets, but damn. They might have taken a turn that he couldn’t find a way back from.

  She gripped his cock, her eyes narrow. “Make love to me,” she repeated.

  He licked his lips then leaned down to do the same to hers. Careful of the slippery floor, he turned her around so her hands rested on the wall. He moved her feet apart.

  “I’m a little too tall for this, but we can make it work,” he said, his cock pressing between her ass cheeks.

  “I trust you,” she said softly, and he almost cracked.

  He bent at the knees, gripped her hips, and slid into her in small strokes. They both moaned, breathing heavily. He fucked her slowly, taking the time for them to come over the crest together, their bodies slick and pressed against one another. He cupped one breast, holding her close, and came when she did. When she turned her head, he took her mouth, putting every emotion he could into the kiss.

  He fucking loved this woman and knew, one day, she’d love him too. Right then though, it wasn’t about that, wasn’t about the fear of the unknown. It was about him and her, Luc and Meghan.

  Now. Then. And every moment in between.

  ****

  “Will Mrs. Dodd like me?” Sasha asked from the backseat.

  Luc pulled Sasha out of the truck and set her down on her feet as Meghan came around with Cliff. “My mother will love you,” he said then leaned down and kissed Sasha’s cheek.

  Another part of Meghan’s heart ached hearing his words, seeing the way he cared for her baby.

  The man loved her.

  Loved. Her.

  And yet she hadn’t said it back. Why hadn’t she?

  Oh, yes, that’s right. I’m a coward.

  She pushed that out of her mind, though, because she needed every ounce of strength she could get. Her body ached, her mind whirled, and exhaustion threatened to take over, but she couldn’t back down. Makeup covered the dark circles under her eyes while caffeine and determination kept her moving. She’d do this dinner, show Luc she cared for him, even if she hadn’t been able to say the words he needed to hear, and then go home.