by Cassie James
Ace walks me down the center aisle of the barn, smiling patiently at me when I stop to gawk over a gigantic horse thrusting its head out of its stall towards me. “Here.” He reaches into his pocket and hands me a wrapped peppermint candy.
I raise an eyebrow.
“For the horse,” he explains. “You can feed him.”
“Really? He eats candy?”
Ace grins down at me as he nods, and the sight of it makes butterflies break out in my stomach. This is so nice.
I unwrap the peppermint and start to hand it to the horse before I think better of it. Growing up, one of my friends had a goat in her neighbor’s backyard that we used to feed half our snacks to. We learned real quick to put our hands flat or risk losing our fingers. I flatten my hand, the corners of my lips curling up when I see the approval in Ace’s eyes.
The big horse nips gently at my hand to take the peppermint. His little whiskers on his nose tickle my hand, making me giggle. For a second, I’m lost in the moment. I love animals, but I never had the chance to be around them a lot growing up. We certainly never had money for pets—my fake parents barely had money to feed ourselves sometimes. Every once in a while I’d spend a few days sneaking scraps to a stray cat, but they never hung around for long.
The memory kills my butterflies.
I’ve spent so much time saying goodbye to things, and I can’t help thinking that the biggest goodbye of all is breathing down my neck. Every day, Pearl gets a little less lucid. A year ago, I didn’t even know she existed, but now the idea of losing her breaks something in me. She’s the only real connection I have to the person I was supposed to be. When she’s gone, I’ll be the only Lexington left.
“Hey.” Ace grabs my hand again so he can turn me towards him. “It’s okay,” he says as he wraps me up in his arms. I’m not nearly as good at hiding my feelings as I wish I was. I sniffle, trying to hold back the tears threatening to fall.
A sudden, very firm nudge pushes my head to the side. A laugh escapes me as I turn to see the horse I just fed trying to get my attention again. He nudges me again, lower this time so that he basically headbutts my chest.
“A guy who knows what he likes,” Ace teases as he takes out another peppermint and hands it to me. I feed it to my new buddy, but then my eyes slide over to the horse in the next stall who’s now shoving its head out to eye us.
“That horse wants a peppermint, too,” I point out with a pout. Ace eyes me, and I’m fully prepared for him to tell me I’m being silly. It would take forever to feed every horse in here, even with half of the stalls empty—I’m assuming because they belong to the horses that are outside. I wipe my hands together, not wanting to make a big deal out of it even though I really do feel a little bad that the other horses are missing out.
I’m not looking when Ace says my name. “Juliet,” he repeats, and this time I look up. Just in time for him to hold out two fistfuls of wrapped candies for me. I gape at him as I take a handful from him. I can’t hold nearly as much as he can at one time but that doesn’t seem to bother him.
“Really?” I can’t imagine this is that fun for him, watching me feed treats to his horses.
He holds his hands out to the side so they’re out of the way as he leans in and kisses me long and slow on the lips. When he pulls away, he shakes his head, but he’s still grinning. “You’ve got a big heart. I can promise you one thing, J, I’m never gonna stifle that. There’s nothing wrong with having a lot of love to share.”
As we stare intently at one another, I know with absolute certainty that he’s not just talking about feeding the horses. He’s reassuring me about our arrangement in the most roundabout possible way. Ace is really good at talking to me about things, but one thing I have noticed is he’s not so good at the talking when it’s about him. This is his way of being clear about his feelings. It’s the first time he’s really said anything in that regards since Pearl first got back to Lexington Estate, so it’s nice to have the confirmation again.
I lean in to kiss him again. “Let’s feed some damn horses, then!”
We spend the whole next hour in the barn, Ace following me around with a content smile as I feed horses until my hands are covered in layers of spit thicker than my skin. With a laugh, Ace leads me to a bathroom in the barn that’s even nicer than the ones at Lexington Estate. I know horses cost a lot of money, but I had no idea Ace’s family was quite this well-off. He’s pretty unassuming, honestly. If I ran into him as a stranger on the street I’d never guess this is the kind of place he lives.
“You ready to go?” Ace asks when I step out of the bathroom, a glint in his eye that lets me know he’s joking.
I fake a shocked gasp. “I was promised baby animals.”
“Honestly, I started to think you’d forgotten while you were busy making friends in here.” His smile only gets wider. I think he’s enjoying how much I’m loving this. It makes sense. This is his natural habitat, and now I’ve stepped right in and embraced it.
“Have you brought other girls here?” I blurt out. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so put off by the idea. It’s not like I expected to be the first person he ever cared about—I just don’t like the idea that he shared this with someone else. That he smiled that same smile at some other girl’s enthusiasm.
Based on the way he grimaces, I don’t think I need to be so worried. “I brought Margo Yorke here once in the ninth grade.” The name sounds familiar, but I can’t picture who he’s talking about. “I thought things were getting serious.”
I can tell there’s a but coming, so when he falls silent I prompt him, “But…?”
“But, uh, it turned out she’d only been hanging around because she had a crush on Sadie. The whole time I thought Margo and I were dating, she thought I was just a really bad wingman.” His cheeks tinge pink as he ducks his head, clearly embarrassed. Poor Ace, he really can’t seem to catch a break, can he? Which is crazy, because he’s such a goddamn dreamboat.
“Well, just to be sure there’s no confusion, you and I are definitely dating.” I wrap a finger around one of his belt-loops and tug until he indulges me by stepping closer. When he does, I take a step back, then another and another.
Ace smirks as I end up leading us around a quiet corner where bales of hay are stacked high, obscuring the view for anyone who happens to pass by. I offer him a coy smile, opening my mouth to ask if this is okay, but the words are stolen right out of my mouth as he grabs my hips and swings me around so that my back is to the wooden wall.
I run frenzied hands over the muscles of his back and shoulders as his hands slide down to my ass and scoop me up just like he did in the library. I smile against his mouth as his hard body presses into mine. I’m not sure how we keep ending up in this position but damn do I like it.
As we kiss, Ace keeps one hand holding me up, but the other slips under the edge of my t-shirt, grazing the bare skin just above the waistband of my shorts. I shiver as he gently runs his finger along the line of my waistband. He doesn’t go any further than that, but damn if it isn’t some of the best foreplay I’ve ever had. Probably even more so because it’s so natural, neither of us rushing to turn it into anything more.
The sound of footsteps followed by hooves passing right by us finally makes us break apart. We’re both panting as we grin at each other, both having thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. It shows, too. Ace’s hair is all kinds of fucked up from where I was running my hands through it and I can’t imagine mine looks much better. Which a light laugh, I let my head fall to rest against his shoulder.
“Juliet?”
“Hmm?”
He laughs. “We still haven’t made it to see the babies.”
Chapter Five
After my day at Ace’s family’s farm, the floodgates seem to open and Pearl puts on twice the pressure for me to get out of the house. “You’re driving me crazy, girl. Go bother someone else for a while.” I don’t think she means to be an asshole about it, my hovering is just drivin
g her crazy. Though, after spending half the summer cooped up by Pearl’s bedside, I have to admit it feels nice to be getting out of the house again.
I don’t do anything that special. I spend some time with the guys just hanging out. Patrick drives me up to Churchill Point a few times. Ace takes me to get ice cream and doesn’t even make fun of me for getting twice as many toppings as I did the first time.
Now, Smith is home from the cruise he had to go on with his mom since Sadie is still at Banner-Hill and couldn’t go on their girls’ trip after all. So that’s where he’s taking me today, Banner-Hill to visit Sadie.
We spend the drive playing roulette with the radio, pressing the buttons quickly several times in a row and then letting it stop on a random channel. The rule is that we have to finish listening to any song we land on, which ends in a lot of laughter when we somehow end up landing mostly on kid-friendly stations and some old school church music. We even happen upon one station that’s hosting Christmas in July.
Several times, I catch Smith staring over at me as we roll down stretches of highway. “What?” I finally ask and he just shakes his head, smiling like he’s got some secret he doesn’t want to share.
“Tell me,” I plead, reaching over to jab my finger in his ribs. He winces even as he laughs.
“I was just remembering how you were so distracted by how hot I was that you broke your phone the first time we met.” He sounds so casual about it as my mouth falls open. I poke him again, harder this time.
“You asshole! I dropped my phone because you startled me.”
“That’s not how I remember it.” He’s straight-faced as he says it, but I can see now the smile he’s trying to hold back. He’s so fucking cute, even when he’s being a teasing asshole.
Still, “You’re conveniently forgetting the part where you grabbed me so hard I had bruises for the next three days.” There’s no way in hell I’m ready to just gloss over what an asshole he was at first. He’s redeemed himself by now I feel like, sure, but it’s much better to forgive than to forget.
“Shit.” He looks over at my waist as if the marks would somehow still be there, but I’m wearing a crop top today and there’s definitely nothing marring my skin now. Luckily for me, the only grabbing anyone has been doing of me lately is the hot kind, not the asshole kind. “Thanks for reminding me,” he grumbles.
“You’re the one that did it,” I point out with a shrug. He’s not gonna make me feel bad for bringing it up, not when he’s the one that started those issues when we first met—not me.
I would have been perfectly happy to have shown up here and had it be easy sailing. I think about that sometimes, how different things might have gone if the guys hadn’t made it so hard for me when I first got here. I like to think things would have been the same, that I would have been drawn to the same people, but I’m not sure how much truth there is to that. The way they treated me, it wasn’t right, but it toughened me up in a way that I needed to be able to survive this long in Patience.
The only one I still haven’t forgiven is Jax. Not that he cares. He hasn’t been back around since the bedroom incident—which is definitely for the best.
“You know I’m sorry for that crap right?” Smith growls, interrupting the train of thought I definitely don’t need to be following down the rabbit hole right now.
I nod. Yes, of course I know he’s sorry.
“Good.” He nods, too. “I’d prefer not to end up in the doghouse alongside Jax.”
What the hell is that supposed to mean, exactly? I don’t get a chance to ask before Smith is telling me we’re here.
For some reason, when I pictured visiting Sadie in rehab, I pictured it like a movie scene of a jail visit. We’d pull up to an electric fence surrounding an imposing concrete building and we’d go inside and sit on opposite sides of the glass as we talked to Sadie through a telephone. That was so dumb of me.
In reality, we pull up to Banner-Hill and for a minute I think we made a wrong turn and ended up at someone’s mega-mansion by mistake. The only reason I figure out that’s not what happened is because Smith gets out of the car and comes around to open my door, making it clear that this is exactly where we were supposed to be. I’m surprised there’s not at least a sign out here or something.
Inside, a serene looking woman at the front desk greets us and escorts us to a back patio overlooking an Olympic size pool. This place is seriously ridiculous—and not at all the prison I imagined.
We sit at a table outside to wait for Sadie, Smith turning to me as soon as the woman that showed us out here leaves us to ourselves. He offers me his hand, which I take without hesitation. I’m not sure why he suddenly looks so uncomfortable until he opens his mouth.
“I’m sorry about that back there in the car. I didn’t mean to bring up all that shit and I do obviously know it was my fault your phone got broken. I mean, it was a crappy phone, but still it was yours and I shouldn’t have startled you like that.”
“I’d love to say it’s okay because you replaced it, but…” But you replaced it with a phone you manipulated so that I couldn’t talk to my best friend.
“Have you talked to that guy?” Smith looks away, looking out over the empty pool instead of meeting my eyes. That guy. He doesn’t even want to say Jake’s name. Hell, after what I learned over Spring Break, I’m still not sure if I do, either. I thought I could trust Jake. Even with things so bad between us and us not talking, I never in a million years thought he would ever tell my Fake Mom anything. Lynne Brown treated me like hell long before I found out the truth and went home to Patience, and Jake knows that. The fact that he told her I was living in a nice house—and the fact that I’m pretty damn sure he’s how she got my number—I just mostly try not to think about it anymore.
So, when I answer Smith’s question, all I say is a hard, “Nope.”
I’m relieved when he doesn’t say anything. Smith hasn’t made it any secret that he doesn’t think much of Jake. It’s ironic, really, how the one guy he’s jealous of is the one guy who’s not actually around.
“Jules!” The squeal of my name puts an effective end to our sudden awkward silence.
I jump out of my seat even before I see her. “Oh my god, you look so good,” I tell her as she throws her arms around me. I’m not just saying it to be nice, she really looks fantastic. I pull back to take another good look at her. Her hair is back to its normal blonde, though still cut shorter than when we first met. She’s wearing light makeup but a fierce looking wrap dress that sparkles in the sunlight as she steps over to hug Smith next.
“Love you, brother. Glad you’re here. Now go find something to entertain yourself.” Sadie shoves Smith twice across the patio until he’s back at the doors that lead inside.
“What!” He tries to plant his feet but nearly loses his balance thanks to her continued shoving.
She rolls her eyes at him. “You visit me all the time. I want to hangout with Juliet without you. Don’t worry, I’ll only tell her some of your most embarrassing childhood stories while you’re gone. Now go.”
“At least let me stay out here and go take a walk or something,” he protests with a huff.
She stops pushing him, lighting up like she hadn’t even considered that as an option. “Nevermind, you can stay here. We’re going for a walk.” She waves me towards the two glass steps leading from the patio out into the yard—which looks like it goes on forever with no other buildings in sight.
Smith groans. “I can’t believe I drove all this way just to sit here by myself. Good thing I charged my phone,” he grumbles.
We barely make it half the length of the pool before she pauses and throws her arms around me again. “God, it’s so good to see you.” When she pulls back, she adds, “I was worried you would change your mind and not want to come.”
“What? Why?”
“I was so horrible to you before I came back here… I wasn’t in my right mind at all.” She opens her mouth like she’s going
to go on but I slap a hand over her mouth without thinking about it. Her eyes widen in surprise.
“Sorry.” I blow out a frustrated breath. “Apparently today is the day for re-opening old wounds.” I laugh nervously. “But Sadie, I don’t need any more apologies from you. I get it. You were grieving and you needed someone to blame at the time, I know it wasn’t personal.” I wish it had been someone besides me, obviously, but I can’t change the past now and neither can she. I’m ready to move forward, and I’m hoping she is, too. I can’t imagine she’ll be staying at this place much longer. Smith said she would definitely be home before school started again, and that date keeps inching closer and closer.
“You’re too forgiving. With most of us, anyway. I hear you’re still making Jax sweat it out.” She smirks as I throw my head back with a groan.
“Seriously? Why does everyone keep bring up Jax? I seriously can’t hang out with anyone anymore without him coming up at least once.” I’m so tired of talking about Jax. I’m not sure why everyone is so worried about me blowing him off. It’s not like he’s done anything to deserve more than that from me. In fact, I personally think I’ve been far friendlier towards him than he deserves just by acknowledging that he exists. Screw Jax Woods. I don’t owe him anything.
Sadie starts walking again and I follow suit. “Touchy subject, I guess,” she says casually, shrugging it off.
“For obvious reasons.” Or has everyone else forgotten all the shit he’s done to me? I swore there would be consequences for Jax Woods, and now there are. I’m not melting into a puddle at his feet. I’m starting to think that’s a far better punishment than I could have imagined, based on how often other people keep bringing it up. I can’t imagine they’d be doing that if Jax wasn’t bothered in some way by it.
