by Tessa Thorne
“I found him!” Pinky says. “But his phone’s dead. This is his last known position.”
I rush over to him and lean over his shoulder from behind the couch. It looks like he’s in Red Hook at the old wheat mill. His phone’s dead. He could be dead, too. That’s the exact type of place I could see Harry taking someone to kill him. I shake my head to push away all the dark thoughts that rush into my head. That’s no way to think. I have to think he’s still alive. It’s the only way I can keep going.
He has to be.
Chapter Twenty-One
Rocco
His fist smashes into my face again. I spit out a chunk of broken tooth on the grimy concrete floor and pick my head back up.
Harry’s breathing heavily over me, massaging his knuckles. He doesn’t have the stamina for this. He’s the kind of tough guy that’s watched a lot of Dirty Harry and thinks he’s as bad as Clint Eastwood.
He’s just coming to realize it takes a lot more to work over a guy like me than a woman and a child.
“Thought you said you were gonna make this hurt,” I taunt him and laugh, spitting blood on his face.
He recoils from the blood and wipes it off his chin.
“You motherfucker!” he screams as he winds back and kicks me in the gut.
I double over from the blow and cough, trying to get air back in my lungs, straining against the cuffs holding my wrists behind my back.
I look up in time to see his foot crash into my face, throwing me on my side. I try to open my eyes, but my left one is swollen shut. I force myself to roll back on my knees, and pull my back straight. I refuse to give him the satisfaction of seeing me break. He’ll have to kill me while I’m still laughing at him.
His partner’s pacing behind him, glancing nervously at the door. He doesn’t want any part of this. If he’s lucky, they’ll let him live. More likely he’ll have his head and hands chopped off and end up buried in the woods next to Harry.
“You think this is funny?” Harry asks, grabbing my hair in his fist.
I still have enough left in me to kill him if I wanted to. His face is close enough that I could smash my head into his nose. I’d get on top of him and crush his throat with my knee. His partner might get me after, or he might run. Who knows. But Harry would be dead.
But that’s not the plan. I don’t want to touch what little hair he’s got on his head. I want it clear that I followed orders. That I didn’t lay a finger on him.
“It’s pretty funny.” I laugh.
He winds up and smashes his fist into the side of my head. I manage to stay on my knees, but my ear is ringing hard and my vision fades to black before it returns to my good eye.
“We need to get out of here, Harry,” the other cop whispers loudly. He’s so nervous he doesn’t even realize he can scream here all he wants without anyone hearing him. Gotta admit, Harry picked as good a place as any to do this.
“Shut the fuck up, Lee!” Harry spits back.
Lee steps up to him and grabs his arm before he swings at me again. “He’s a made guy,” he says. “We’re fucking dead if they find out we did this.”
Harry pushes him back with both hands, and steps up in his face. “How are they going to find out we did this?” he yells. “You going to tell somebody? Do I have to worry about you now?”
“Chill the fuck out, man!” Lee screams back. “I just don’t want to die over some bullshit.”
“He’s fucking my wife!” Harry screams, pointing at me. “And you call this bullshit?”
“She left your ass.” I laugh again. “You never even had her in the first place.”
“Fuck you!” Harry yells as he punches me in the jaw.
My face swings to the side, and I can feel another molar coming loose. I turn to face him and stare defiantly back at Harry with my one good eye, ignoring the pain searing in my body.
“You’re fucking pathetic,” I scoff. “And your idiot partner is right. You’re both as good as dead now.”
“See!” Lee screams. “Fuck. I knew I shouldn’t have listened to your crazy ass. Fuck!”
Harry leans down so he can stare me in the face. “If I’m dead, at least I can make sure you don’t get to live to enjoy it.”
He grabs me around the neck and starts squeezing. I grin up at him, urging him on. His grip is weak from too much alcohol. He doesn’t even know where to put pressure to stop the flow of blood into my brain.
Oh, how I’d love to kill him at this moment of his triumph, but I have to let myself die to save Cat and Ethan.
I close my eye and imagine her face. Her bright green eyes, her soft golden hair. I love her shy smile. How easy it is to make her blush. The way her laugh brightens my day.
My head feels lighter as I begin to weaken. I can hold out for a while, but not forever. I open my eye, and see flashing lights.
I’m sorry I couldn’t be there with you, Cat, and watch your baby grow up. I would have loved to see what kind of man Ethan grew up to be. Surely a better man than me.
My eye bulges out as he presses down on my neck.
“Fucking get this over with, man!” Lee urges Harry on.
I’m half convinced it’s my imagination when I hear the door burst open. I see the beam of a flashlight shining inside the warehouse, blinding me.
“Oh, fuck!” Lee screams as a gunshot echoes through the warehouse, then his body hits the ground hard.
Harry’s hands drop from my neck as he fumbles for his gun.
“Rocco!” It’s a woman’s voice.
Is that Cat?
“I’ll fucking kill you, you stupid bitch!” Harry bellows.
What’s Cat doing here?
Harry’s got his gun in his hands, and he’s training it on Cat. I growl as I push myself off my knees and slam my shoulder into Harry. His gun goes off and the bullet ricochets off concrete. I land on top of him. I try to grab him to smash his head into the concrete, but I’ve forgotten about the handcuffs holding my hands behind my back.
This wasn’t my plan, but I won’t let him hurt Cat.
He struggles to get up from under me, so I bring down my head hard where his skull meets his neck. I hear his bones crack, and his muffled scream. I ignore the sharp pain in my head, throw my body back and come down again. My head smashes into him harder, breaking his neck. His body twitches under me, but there’s no strength left in him. He’s in his final death throes.
“Rocco!” That’s Cat’s voice. I try to look past the blinding flashlight, but I can’t make out her face.
My vision starts to fade as I hear her running toward me. She turns off the flashlight, and I see my angel looking down on me.
“Oh, Rocco!” she cries as she wraps her arms around me. “What did you do?”
I sway in her arms, barely able to hold myself steady. Is that a gun in her hand? The barrel feels hot against my back. I blink as I see Pinky rushing up behind her, talking urgently into his phone.
“Hey sweetheart.” I flash a grin at her, sending tendrils of pain through my face.
She holds me as I lean heavily into her arms, and darkness overtakes me.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Caitlyn
I wake up to the sounds of Rocco’s crew trading war stories.
“Shit…” Vini laughs. “Remember when Rocco told you how badly you screwed up with Tony?”
“Not this again.” That’s Pinky’s voice.
He sounds tired. He’s been here waiting for Rocco to wake back up almost as much as I have. He only leaves to visit their mom. He said he has to take Rocco’s turn too, or he wouldn’t forgive him when he wakes back up.
“Come on, Pinky.” Vini laughs. “Rocco always loved that story. If you told it again, he’d probably wake up to laugh at you...”
I keep my eyes closed, and pretend I’m still sleeping. I want to hear this story. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious.
“Fine, whatever.” Pinky laughs. “One more time won’t make a difference.” “
I’d just started in this thing. You know, when my bro brought me in. I didn’t know shit about how any of this worked.”
“So, I’d fucked up big and lost a couple grand because I didn’t set up the security on the site that well.” His voice is getting more animated as he gets into telling the story. “So Rocco tells me I’ve fucked up, and need to own up to Tony. Tell him I need an extension on my payment. So I go down there, and you know, I don’t really know Tony. He’s this big scary guy, I’m in the back of his shop. And I gotta tell him I fucked up. So I tell him, and he’s just looking at me with that look he gets when you know you’re fucked. And I don’t know what to do. But I watch a lot of Japanese movies, and I know what a yakuza would do. I figured, how different could it be for Italians? So I tell him I’m going to make amends. I see a butcher’s knife on the table, so I take it, put my hand on a wood block and chop off my pinky.”
Vini and Mikey burst out laughing, and I can’t help but laugh with them. They realize I heard the story but it’s too late now, and for once the room’s feeling light.
“Holy shit!” Mikey can barely get out the words.
“Best part is,” Vini says, “Tony’s just thinking, the fuck is wrong with this kid, I was just gonna tax him five extra points.”
Mikey's laughing so hard he doubles over and falls to the floor.
Pinky’s blushing, but he’s got a strange look of pride on his face. I don’t even know what to make of the story. But it feels good to laugh for once after all this pain.
“I’m glad you guys are having fun,” Pinky says as he rubs the old wound on his hand.
“Aww.” Vini comes over and wraps his arm around Pinky’s shoulders. “Don’t be like that. That shit you did is why everyone trusts you, even though you’re a little softie.”
He’s got a look of admiration on his face. I barely know Vini, but what I do know is that he’d do anything for Rocco. And that includes disappearing two dead cops when me and Pinky started panicking about what to do.
“Been a while since I heard that story.” My eyes go wide, and I jump up from the couch when I hear Rocco’s voice.
I rush up to the side of his bed and take his big hand between mine. “You’re awake!” I cry as tears of joy flood my eyes.
“Hey sweetheart.” He smiles.
I don’t think I could imagine a better sight than that of the gentle curve of his smile on his cracked lips. The bruise on his eye has mostly faded to a dark orange, and it looks like he can open his eyes just fine.
“Hi, Rocco.” I try hard to keep my voice from cracking, but I can’t contain my emotions. Not after all this. “How do you feel?”
“Like I just got run over by a bus.” He laughs, and the laugh turns into a long coughing fit. He squeezes my hand back after the coughing subsides and turns to the guys. “Clear the room, will you?”
“Sure thing, boss.” Vini gestures to the other guys and they head out of the room, closing the door behind them.
He turns back to me with a soft smile on his face. “How long have I been out?”
“Eight days. They had to induce a coma so your brain swelling would go down.” I speak softly as I stroke his cheek. “Sorry, I look like a mess.”
It’s been the worst eight days of my life. Not knowing if he would ever wake up again. Worrying about the police coming to take me away for killing a cop. Having to come to terms with having ended someone’s life.
I go to shake my head to clear my mind of these dark thoughts when he gently cups my face and combs his fingers through the back of my hair.
“You’re the most beautiful sight I’ve ever woken up to,” he says.
I look into his bloodshot eyes, and I know he’s telling the truth. There’s nothing but love in his eyes. No sadness, nothing to hide. Just love.
“I was so worried you’d never wake up.” My voice cracks, and I can feel tears welling up in my eyes.
“I’m going to be fine,” he says, his hand comforting me. “I wish you hadn't had to do what you did.”
I glance down, away from his eyes. The memory haunts me still. I acted out of instinct. I saw the cop pulling up his gun, and I squeezed my trigger first. The look on his face when the bullet struck his chest keeps flashing in my mind. The way he dropped his gun and clutched at the sucking wound in his chest. The look of resignation on his face as he stared at his bloody hands. The dead expression on his face when I ran past him to get to Rocco.
“You did what you had to do.” Rocco’s voice pulls me from my personal horror. “You’ll get through it.”
I look back up at him and nod slowly, tasting my tears on my lips. “I don’t know how I’ll live with the memory of…”
He puts his finger on my lips, silencing me. “Don’t ever talk about it anywhere in the open,” he says, closing his eyes. “Vini should have told you.”
“He did…” I whisper.
“You’ll take it a day at a time,” he says. “You’ll get through it.”
I nod silently. He opens his eyes with great effort. It’s obvious how hard it is for him to stay awake.
“You should rest,” I say, taking his hand from my face and putting it back down by his side, but he shakes his head.
“I’m fine. It’s worth keeping my eyes open to see you.” He grins cockily.
I’m overjoyed to see his trademark expression reappear on his face. To think that his cocky grin infuriated me the first time I saw it. Now it makes me happier than I could have ever imagined to see it.
“How’s the little kiddo?” he asks.
“He misses you,” I say.
“Shit.” He grunts as he lifts himself up on his elbow so he can sit up. “I missed his game.”
I can’t help but laugh. He just woke up from an induced coma, and he’s still upset he missed Ethan’s game. How could I have ever thought he wouldn’t make a good father to Ethan?
“It’s okay,” I say, rubbing his shoulder. “Pinky went in your place.”
Rocco laughs. “Pinky hates baseball.”
“I know.” I smile. “He’s a good guy.”
“He’s a good kid.” Rocco nods, and his eyes begin to drift shut again.
“You should get some rest,” I say quietly.
His eyes snap open. “Where are you staying now?”
“You mean other than here?” I laugh.
“Yeah.” He grins back at me.
“Still at your place,” I say. “Hope you don’t mind.”
“Nothing makes me happier.” His grin broadens into a wide smile. “The place would feel empty without you.”
“Good.” I smile. “Then it’s settled.”
I watch his chest rise and fall slowly as his eyes drift closed. He looks so peaceful in his sleep. I can pretend just for this moment that I’m living a normal life. Watching my man sleep after a hard day’s work. The only thing that spoils it is the steady beat of his monitoring equipment.
I gently let go of his hand to grab my cup of coffee when he snaps awake again.
“Wait,” he says.
I turn back to him and comb back his thick hair with my fingers. “What is it?”
“Did Ethan get a hit?” he asks.
“You’re going to have to ask him yourself when he visits you.” I laugh softly. “He told me not to spoil it for you.”
He grins back at me. “He’s a good kid.”
And his eyes gently shut again as he falls back to sleep.
Pinky pulls up to the hospital entrance, and I get out and help Ethan out of the car. He tugs on my hand, urging me to hurry as we head to Rocco’s room.
“Hurry, Mommy!” he yells.
“You need to keep your voice low in a hospital, Ethan,” I whisper.
“Hurry!” he insists in a loud whisper. “I want to see Uncle Rocco.”
I pick up my pace and take the stairs up at his insistence. The door to Rocco’s room is open, and I can hear him arguing with his doctor.
“I don’t care what you think.�
�� His voice is a lot stronger today. Almost back to normal. “You’re gonna have to get someone a lot bigger than him if you plan on keeping me here another night.”
“Hey,” I say as I step into the room. “What’s going on?”
There’s a doctor and a large male nurse attending to Rocco. He’s still dressed in his hospital gown, and he’s got his hands wrapped around the wires and tubes poking into his arm.
“Just checking out.” Rocco’s mouth splits into a wide smile as he sees Ethan in front of me. “Hey kiddo!”
“Hi, Uncle Rocco,” he says as he escapes from my grip and hurls himself at Rocco’s leg.
Rocco wraps his arm around him and picks him up with one arm.
“See?” He motions with Ethan at the doctor. “Strong enough to leave.”
“If you insist.” The doctor shakes her head. “You’re going to have to sign your self-discharge forms.”
“Whatever.” Rocco turns from the doctor and looks at Ethan’s happy face. “Leave them here after you take this sh- these tubes out of my arm.”
He ignores the doctor as she takes the needles and monitors off his arm and leaves a pile of paperwork on the table while grumbling under her breath.
“I missed you, kiddo,” Rocco says.
“I missed you too, Uncle Rocco.” Ethan wraps his arms around Rocco’s neck and presses his face against him. “Did they ever catch the guy who hit you with his car?”
“Yeah.” Rocco cocks an eyebrow at me. “He’s been taken care of.”
“Good.” Ethan gives a satisfied nod. “Did Mommy tell you what I did at the game?”
“No.” Rocco laughs. “She said you didn’t want her to spoil it for you.”
“I hit the winning run again!” He smiles proudly. “I did it for you!”
