Can I really destroy her future?
Steal her intended?
Steal her very destiny?
The sob rising at the back of my throat is desperate for release as it tries to claw its way out. Hurting Shaylee is the last thing I want. I wish I could be a better sister. If only I was strong enough to relinquish Ryland but I am not. Even though I know I will hurt Shaylee, I still cannot turn away from the love pulsing through my body. It takes everything within me to turn away from him now and towards my intended.
There is much dancing throughout the rest of the evening. I play the part of surprised and delighted intended. Kalen remains steadily at my side. This deception is killing me. Kalen is the sweetest, kindest faerie. I could have easily fallen in love with him had I never met Ryland. But now Kalen is nothing more than a pale, paper-thin comparison.
Desperately I have tried to undo the love I feel for Ryland.
I have continually tried turning my feelings away from him because I understand just how costly our love is, not only to us but those around us. Try as I might, I have been unable to do so. For the remainder of the night, I stand by Kalen's side accepting well wishes, playing the part of a young faerie in love.
By the time Kalen walks me to my door, it is a quarter hour before midnight. I am riddled with nerves and anxiety because I know the time has finally arrived. I will gather just a few of my possessions and leave the rest behind. No longer will I have use for fancy dresses and jewels that sparkle and catch the light prettily. I am not certain where Ryland and I will go but it must be far, far away from here. If we are to have an honest chance of making it, it must be somewhere where we can live safely without fear of detection. I gladly give up all my belongings for the mere chance to have Ryland at my side.
Once the Crystal Palace walls are behind me, I run as fast as I can towards the stream following its meandering course to the old oak tree where I am supposed to meet Ryland. My heart thrashes as my feet fly over the ground. Every noise I hear has me wondering if the faerie guard has been dispatched, if they are on their way to seize me for my betrayal to the realm.
Trying desperately not to think about that possibility, I focus all my thoughts on Ryland. Once we are together, I will feel infinitely braver about this unexpected journey we now find ourselves embarking upon.
But right now, I am so scared that my feet are quaking in their boots. I am terrified the guards will have somehow discovered our plans. I can only imagine what my punishment will be if we are caught trying to flee. Even knowing my freedom is now in peril, I still choose to run away with Ryland.
So, with my heart leaping and my knees shaking, I follow the lazy stream with only moonlight to guide me through the quiet darkness. I hear the night creatures stir and scurry about in the long grass. When I finally glimpse the oak tree, the only one that grows by the stream, I am so relieved that my knees nearly buckle.
I run as if the faerie guard is pursuing me this very moment. When I finally reach the tree, I realize that Ryland is nowhere to be seen. My eyes quickly scan the immediate area surrounding the tree. I thought for certain he would be here waiting for me. An odd prickle of unease blooms within the pit of my belly but I push it resolutely away. Nervously I pace in front of the tree as my mind spins with anxiety.
What if something happened to him?
What if he changed his mind?
What if his affectionate demonstration towards Shaylee this evening wasn't a display at all? But true feelings budding to life?
What if he decided he could not turn his back on the Faerie Realm? That my love was not worth the risk or the price he would ultimately pay?
All these thoughts crash wildly through my mind as I nervously wait for Ryland to arrive. My nerves stretch and lengthen until I feel the queasy nausea pitch and roll within my belly. Just as I start to nibble anxiously at my nails, I hear the sound of someone moving quietly through the long grass behind me.
Relief floods through me as I spin around, only wanting to throw myself into his waiting arms. I want to feel his strong embrace wrap protectively around me. I need his reassurance now more than ever that we will indeed find our happily ever after. That our life together is just beginning.
And so I do just that, flinging myself into his waiting embrace.
But it’s not Ryland's arms that band tightly around me.
Chapter Fourteen
A gasp falls from my lips as I meet his eyes.
Kalen.
A sudden chill sweeps through me as we stare silently at one another.
"Kalen, I-"
I need to create a believable lie. Never can he discover the true reason I am here on the eve of our union.
Just as I open my mouth, he interrupts me. "They have him, Lilianna."
Whatever lies I was desperately trying to concoct in my head disintegrate instantly. His quiet words have the blood draining away from my face.
"The Queen has him." The look he gives me is one full of pity and regret. "She will not let him go, Lilianna. He is the Faerie Prince."
My knees buckle. As they do, his arms tighten around me, holding me upright. My eyes dart to the surrounding darkness. He seems to know exactly what I am searching for.
"I've come alone."
"Is... is he alright?"
My frantic words have his eyes turning dark and stormy before he replies sharply, "I think you should be more concerned with your own predicament. It is, after all, quite grave."
My shoulders droop, my entire body sags with that knowledge. He is absolutely right. My betrayal is most egregious. I cannot begin to imagine what sort of punishment will be meted out.
With his arms still banded around me, he says softly, "I could have made you happy, Lilianna. I wish you would have given me a chance to prove it."
Unable to hold his gaze, I drop my eyes. There is nothing I can say because he never had a fair chance of winning my love. By the time Kalen came into my life, it was already much too late. My love for Ryland had grown too deep. There was never any room in my heart for Kalen.
Without any more words spoken between us, we begin our slow trek back to the Crystal Palace. I understood from the beginning that being caught was a distinct possibility and I took the risk regardless. I find as we walk that my knees no longer quake. My fingers no longer shake like brittle leaves in a gusty autumn breeze. I see the palace glowing brightly on the horizon. My somber thoughts are filled with what could have been, but never will be. All the innocent dreams Ryland and I wove together have been dashed in a single instant. No longer does the future hold anything for us.
Maybe I was foolish to ever believe that we had a chance.
When we are about halfway to the palace, Kalen turns to me, his fingers biting into my shoulders.
"Runaway with me, Lilianna." His deep blue eyes are so full of desperation and sadness that I instantly feel sorry for him. My impending punishment weighs heavily on him and I am only sorry that he has been dragged into this charade because it was unfair to him. "Think about it! I do not have to take you back to the Queen. We can run away- you were going to run away with him, run away with me instead! I can protect you, Lilianna." He searches my eyes before whispering huskily, "I love you."
His fingers continue to dig into my flesh. His eyes have taken on a feverish light. I try not to wince because I know he would never deliberately cause me pain. I only wish I could say the same. All I have done since our first introduction is lie and deceive him in order to cover up my love affair with Ryland. Kalen has developed true feelings for me and I will never be able to return them. I cannot bear to wound him anymore than I already have. It was never my intention to hurt him in the first place. Running away, allowing him to fall into disgrace would only compound the wrongs I have already committed.
Kalen deserves better than that.
He deserves better than me.
My palm cradles his cheek tenderly. "I cannot." I whisper the words hoping he will not push further. "I'm sorry
, Kalen."
He shakes me harshly before growling, "You would rather face her wrath than run away with me?" We both understand what my fate will be. That I would choose punishment over him strikes him like the fatal blow of a sword.
"I'm sorry, Kalen. Truly, I am."
Angry bitterness laces its way throughout his words. "Do you truly love him that much?"
"More than life itself."
For the first time in our relationship I allow myself to be completely truthful. Although I have no desire to wound him anymore than I already have, he needs to understand that Ryland is my one and only true love and I cannot live without him.
"You won't be allowed to have him. You realize that, don't you? He'll be forced to unite with your sister as planned. They were meant to rule the realm together."
Shaylee and Ryland's union was foretold long ago. I was never meant for Ryland. And he was never meant for me. We are star crossed lovers who will be forced apart at all costs. We each have our own destinies to fulfill.
Even after my betrayal, all he wishes is to protect me from myself. He is willing to turn his back on the Faerie Realm to save me. I could run away with him and escape punishment, make a life far away from this place. In time, perhaps I would even learn to forget Ryland, forget this love that pounds rampantly through me, lighting me up from the inside out, making every emotion I have ever felt pale in comparison to what I feel for him. Deep within I know I would never truly consider running away without Ryland by my side. I simply could not bear for him to think that I took off with another, that I did not love him with every fiber of my being. There is only one option open to me.
Kalen closes his eyes as he leans into my palm.
"I wish you did not love him so very much. I wish you could give me a chance to show you that I too am worthy of your love. I am your intended!" His eyes, so full of misery, hold mine steadily. "I could have made you happy, if you had let me."
The sad little smile that flits across my lips is fleeting at best. I see in his eyes and hear in his voice that he finally understands that leaving the Faerie Realm is no longer an option. It never was. Once I met Ryland, it was over. Just like that. A bolt of lightning spearing down from the dark night sky.
Reaching up onto my toes, I kiss him chastely on the lips. I hear his breath catch. When I pull back, my hand falls away from his cheek. Finally he removes his fingers from my shoulders before securing one of my hands in his own.
Blanketed in a heavy silence, we walk the rest of the way because really, what else is there for either of us to say? Kalen now understands that there is nothing he can say or do that will dissuade me from my chosen course.
Just as we reach the palace, he turns to me once more. One last time. The light in his eyes is fierce. "I will protect you as best I can but I am not sure what good it will do." He studies my steady gaze. His very heart is breaking. I feel it. He may not be my true love but we are connected in a way that I am unable to explain. "You are in a great deal of trouble."
Stiffening my shoulders, I do the only noble thing I can at this point. I will not allow him to be tainted by the crimes I have committed. "I know. Please, do not do anything that will jeopardize your safety or your future." I cannot help but be grateful to this boy who only desired my love in the purest sense of the word. It would have been so much easier if I could have just fallen in love with him instead of Ryland. But that was never meant to be, was it?
Anticipating our arrival, the guards throw open the palace gates as we draw near.
This is it.
The nerves jump before coiling uncomfortably in my belly. If I had any desire to flee the Faerie Realm and avoid punishment, the time for that has passed. I lied and deceived. Tried to steal what was never mine, all in the name of love. Now I will pay the price for it. I will pay the price for loving someone who was never mine to love. My mind runs rampant with the possibilities regarding just how this will play out. I know the Queen will not be lenient with me. She has no affinity for me. Perhaps she always sensed the undercurrents of our affection. Perhaps we never fooled her. Never will she allow some small slip of a faerie to ruin the future of her realm. A quiver of fear slithers slowly down my spine at that thought.
She will smite me like the tiny insignificant gnat I am.
And I will be no more.
For just a moment I stop, sucking in a steadying breath for I suddenly understand exactly how this will play out. It is for Ryland that I will put on a brave face. With stiffened shoulders my feet once again start moving forward. Candles burn brightly so that the Crystal Palace looks ablaze from within. It glows from the outside as if on fire. It is a breathtaking, magical sight but the beauty of it is completely lost on me. We walk down one long marble corridor until we reach the most magnificent room in the palace. The grand ballroom. Just on the other side of the crystal wall is where I first spied Ryland.
It seems almost poetic that it should all end here where it was so unexpectedly born.
I see her at the far end of the room. Kalen holds himself stiffly at my side. His presence is an unexpected comfort. Surely the only one I will be afforded. His arm is wrapped firmly around me as if he can protect me with his sheer strength and determination. Glancing down at me, I give a slight nod of my head before we start walking towards the Faerie Queen.
Towards my destiny.
I suddenly realize that this has always been about destinies.
Mine.
Ryland's.
Shaylee's.
Kalen's.
It would have been so easy for Ryland to fall hopelessly in love with the one who was meant for him. Perhaps had we never met by chance under the silvery moonlight in the darkened, sweetly fragrant gardens with the music wafting softly in the background, all of our destinies would have played out just as they were meant to. But it does me no good to reminisce. For me, destiny went astray and led me down a path of self-destruction. Perhaps had I fought harder against it, I could have averted disaster.
But is it ever really possible to change your destiny once it is written in the stars?
I do not believe so.
Never did I have the strength of will to fight against it. Instead I embraced it as I will continue to do until the bitter end.
The Queen says absolutely nothing as she waits for me to stand before her. It is only now that I notice that she is fully dressed. It is an odd sight at this hour of the night. In fact, her gown is quite similar to the one she wore for the presentation.
This only strengthens my conviction that this night will end disastrously for me.
Her most trusted advisers flank her sides. Guards stand in a semi-circle behind them. I search each face for Ryland. Something in my heart twists painfully at his absence. At the very least, I need to know he is safe. I can get through anything if I simply know he is safe. Kalen, who is still at my side, must see my anxious eyes searching the crowd. Very carefully, so that one cannot see him speaking unless they were scrutinizing his face, whispers, "In the back, off to the side."
My gaze flies to the corner, instantly fastening upon him. My step falters as a shocked gasp falls from my lips.
"Do not say a word! Do not even look at him!"
It is nearly impossible to do as he commands. It is nothing short of unbearable to force my eyes away from Ryland but Kalen, even knowing that I have chosen another over him, has been unfailingly at my side and so I do as he bids. Dutifully I keep my eyes downcast as we proceed toward the Queen. We are almost there now. My knees start trembling anew. Suddenly I am scared to death.
I bite down on my lower lip to keep the whimper of despair from escaping. Even though I only glanced at Ryland for a mere heartbeat and no more, I could tell he had been savagely beaten. There was blood at his nose, his clothing was askew, his hair mussed. His right eye looked blackened and swollen. It is difficult to believe that the Queen would let the faerie guard beat her own son for disobedience. But she must have sanctioned it for everything in this lan
d happens only by her decree. Her word is law here. I suppose that is where we went wrong. We disregarded her wishes. And now we will pay dearly for our disrespect, disloyalty, and betrayal.
If she is willing to allow her own son, the Faerie Prince, to be beaten, what will she do to me?
I pray that whatever she has planned will be mercifully quick. At this point, that is the most I can hope for. Not only for my sake but for Ryland's as well.
It is only a few more steps until I am before her. Already I feel the cold condemnation of her amethyst eyes crawling over my flesh. Her hatred and distaste is palpable. Nothing about her bearing or regard could be misconstrued as merciful. When I am directly before her, I lower myself into a deep curtsey, not daring to rise until Kalen assists me. It is only then that I allow my eyes to hesitantly meet hers.
The icy anger radiating from within her blazing eyes is like a punch to the gut. The sheer force of it nearly knocks me off my feet. My blatant disregard for her dictates has enraged her and I feel the bristling fury radiating from her in hot suffocating waves.
For several long moments she says nothing as her furious eyes burn fiercely into mine. I force myself to stand meekly before her while she seethes. You can almost see the white sparks of her fury bursting forth around her person. It is a frightening sight to behold. It is not long before I am squirming uncomfortably from her penetrating gaze. Scarlet heat crawls up my cheeks for each and every faerie gathered around the Queen inspects me in much the same accusing fashion. Every single one of them has been apprised of my traitorous actions. They are judging me. Condemning me for loving wrongly and daring to steal the prince from beneath their very noses.
Finally, after what feels like an eternity, she says in a wrathful voice that whips with fury, "Did you really think you could simply run off with the Faerie Prince, you stupid, insignificant girl?"
I say nothing in response because there is nothing I can say. The crimson heat now scalding my face is more than answer enough. I want the cold marble floor to open and swallow me whole.
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