"You've only been here for two days. The moment you step through the door, you'll start losing your memories of this place. It won't take more than a few hours for everything to start fading, if that." He looks away before forcing out the rest. "I should have never brought you here. It was selfish. You were safe before." He leans towards me until our lips are close enough to touch. "I've put your life in jeopardy again because I wanted so desperately to be with you. I just should have let you go." Anguish swims in his deep brown depths. My very heart is breaking. "I never should have disturbed your life. It should have been enough to see that you were safe and happy."
The blood running through my veins freezes and I start to shiver because I can't imagine not knowing him. I can't imagine not loving him. To go through my entire life and never feel the sheer depth of what I feel for him- no, I simply can't imagine it. Not anymore. I can't even bear the thought of it. I've always wondered why I couldn't love Callen the way I wanted. I always felt like there was something wrong with me. Like I was incapable of truly loving someone. There was always this vague feeling that something was missing between us... It never made any sense to me before.
But it does now.
It makes perfect sense. And that has everything to do with Ryland. So, no, I can't imagine leaving him behind in the Faerie Realm. It isn't a choice because I don't ever want to feel that way again. And I will.
If what he says is true, and everything fades from my memories, then I'll be right back to where I was before. Except... won't it be so much worse? Because deep down, I will remember. My heart, my very soul, will remember. I'll remember the love that pulsed through me. And nothing else, no one else, will ever be able to fill the gaping hole he'll leave inside me.
I haven't wanted to say the words even though they're in my heart because it feels so strange to say them to someone I barely know and yet, I feel as though I know him. In the truest, purest sense of the word, I know him.
And I love him.
"Don't say that!" I hiss, "You had to come for me. We have to be together!"
He doesn't refute my words but he doesn't agree with them either. Sighing tiredly, he finally forces his eyes away. "Look, if we can get to the meadow and I'm able to conjure the cottage, then you have to go back. You can't stay here." Looking pained, he breaks off. "I need to know you're safe, Lili." He sad eyes cling helplessly to mine. "Whatever else happens-"
The blood rushes from my face as he alludes to his death.
"-I need to know you're safe where you belong."
"I belong with you!" I hurtle the words angrily at him but they don't seem to have any impact. My heart pounds so harshly that my chest begins to ache.
"Will you promise me that? Please?"
"I'll go," I finally whisper, "if you come, too." I fold my arms across my chest. "Otherwise you can forget it. We're in this together. I won't leave without you." As I say the words, I realize that they're absolutely true. I would give up everything for him just as he did for me. What other choice do I have? I can't... I simply can't imagine my life without him in it. I love my parents... but what I feel for Ryland... it's so overwhelmingly huge. It eclipses just about everything.
Frustrated by my outburst, Ryland runs a hand through his hair. His lips turn down in an angry slash across his handsome face. "I can't promise you that."
Chapter Twenty-Two
"Then I guess we don't need to go to the meadow after all." Because there's no way I'm giving in on this. Our future together is dependent on him returning with me. How doesn't he understand that?
Ryland’s frustration is all but palpable as he plows his fingers roughly through is hair. "Lili, I can't... I can't come back with you. I can't risk the Queen finding you in the mortal world. If I leave the Faerie Realm with you, she'll find of us. She'll track me down. And then she’ll simply use you to get to me." He takes hold of my uninjured hand. "Keeping you safe, keeping you alive, has to be more important than us being together."
All I can do is shake my head as my eyes flare wide. "How can you even say that?" I whisper, "I don't care about her! I just want to be with you. That's all that matters to me. I can't live without you!" As I say the words, I know they're true. I can't live without him. I don't want to live without him ever again.
The look in his eyes is filled with so much grief and sadness. It’s almost as if he’s already said good bye. "I can't put your life in jeopardy. Not any more than I already have."
But I’m not giving in. "I won’t leave without you. So, I guess we're just going to have to figure something else out."
His gaze drops to my injured hand and I watch as concern flashes within his deep brown eyes. "Fine," he snaps, "I'll go."
My brows jerk together at his sudden agreement. And even though part of me wonders why he finally gave in so easily, another part is relieved that we're no longer arguing about it. I just want him with me. I know he doesn't want to see anything happen to me. I get that. It’s not like I want that either but I simply can't live without him. He'll see... he'll see that once we return to the human world, everything will be fine. We can tell my parents. We'll figure out a way to protect ourselves from her. As long as we're together we can get through anything.
It's been at least an hour since the last patrol passed through. The forest is now completely bathed in darkness. This is probably the best chance we'll have to make our way to the stream and then to the meadow. We both seem to realize this at the same time because he quietly stands before peeking out to the forest below us. There's a thick silence blanketing the night. If you listen carefully enough, you can hear the smaller animals scurrying about. I take that as an encouraging sign that the faerie guard isn't patrolling in the nearby vicinity. Ryland must agree because he waves me forward to join him. For about five minutes we stand side by side scrutinizing the woods. Nothing moves. It seems relatively safe for us to dare an escape. As safe as it's going to get anyway.
Before we descend to the forest floor, Ryland turns to me. His fingers curl around my shoulders. Without the sun adding its warmth, the forest has grown chilly with nightfall. All I want is to burrow deep into his warmth but there isn't time for such simple gestures. "We have to move quickly and quietly."
I nod in agreement.
"If we get separated, we meet back here at the tree. The fact that the guard hasn't found us yet means this is probably the only safe place there is."
"That's not going to happen." I have to say the words out loud because I don't want to think about what could cause us to become separated.
Only one thing comes to mind...
He gives my shoulders a little squeeze. Nothing hard, just enough to capture my attention once more. When he finally speaks, his words are low, scraped raw with urgency. "If they find us, I'll do my best to hold them off so you can get back to the tree." He searches my eyes desperately. "If they find us, you have to run!" He gulps. His voice is barely audible. "And don't look back. No matter what happens, don't look back. You keep running."
There must be a horrified expression marring my face for it mirrors exactly what's going through my mind. And I think to myself, I can't leave him. I can't. If one of us dies, we both die. We die together.
Can it really be any other way?
But I don't say that because I know he'll fight me. He's already angry that I won't leave the Faerie Realm without him. I know that if the guards are successful in finding us, I won't be running back to the tree. I'll stand and fight besides Ryland. It doesn't matter if he's in agreement with this or not.
He shakes me before whispering, "Do you hear me?"
I nod my head just once to appease him. "Yes, I run back to the tree." Like hell I will. But I keep that thought to myself. There's no need for anymore arguments between us. Already we have an enormous amount of pressure on us.
Nodding unhappily, he looks relieved that he's finally secured my promise to follow his directives. I feel only slightly guilty that I'm lying to him because I know he woul
d do the same for me.
He wouldn't leave me to die alone if he could help it.
He would stand beside me and fight.
Why would it be any different for me?
It's not.
Silently we hold each other's eyes before I reach up onto my toes and press my lips against his. I don't know if we'll get another chance to do something so simple yet profound. Once we leave the safe haven of the tree, all hell could break loose. We just don't know. I want the last quiet moment we have together, especially after that conversation, to be about us. What we are together. The whole reason we're even going through this in the first place.
Love.
His lips move softly over mine. Even amidst all this, something immediate clicks into place between us. Closing my eyes, I fall into the warmth of his caress. The familiar sensation of electricity pulses between us, strengthening the bond that joins us to one another. When we're together like this, it feels as if anything is possible. As if we can beat any odds. Reluctantly he pulls away, his lips quirking upwards into some small semblance of a smile. I can't help but reach up, teasingly nipping at his mouth with my teeth. He crushes me tightly to him. I want this moment to last a lifetime but of course it doesn't. Nothing lasts forever. All too soon he untangles himself from me before searching my eyes.
"Ready?"
I nod, feeling for the first time in two days as if we might just be able to pull this off. If we can make it to the meadow, if he can conjure the cottage, then we'll never have to think about the Faerie Realm again.
Ryland climbs out first before turning back to offer assistance. Slowly, quietly we begin our descent to the forest floor below us. Our progress is much slower than when we first scampered up the tree. At every branch, Ryland stops to search the woods for movement. My heart, even though everything seems calm, riots painfully under my breast waiting for the unthinkable to happen. Waiting for all hell to break loose ending in our gruesome demise. It's a terrible feeling, this one of impending doom. My injured hand makes it difficult to grab the tree branches as I continue downward. My progress is slow and painful even though my palm is wrapped in a ripped piece of Ryland's shirt. At this point, it's so swollen that bending it to curl around tree branches is nearly impossible. Tears prick my eyes and have me wincing at each new movement.
When we finally reach the ground, we pause again searching for the slightest sign of disturbance in the surrounding area. Any sign that the guards are in the vicinity. There doesn't seem to be any. Everything seems quiet. Ryland takes the lead as I fall in behind him.
I keep focused on the notion that when we finally reach the stream, I'll be able to clean out the gash on my palm. Hopefully that'll be enough to stave off any infection. Later, when we return home, I'll probably need to take a trip to the emergency room so I can get my hand checked out. Sadly, a trip to the emergency room sounds like absolute heaven right about now. I want nothing more than to be sitting, bored out of my mind, in the waiting room. My stomach growls and my thoughts swing abruptly to food. Maybe we can make a pit stop on the way to the ER. What I wouldn't give for a nice juicy Big Mac right now. And a huge hot fudge sundae from Dairy Queen. My stomach rumbles in agreement and Ryland stops before cocking his head to the side.
"That was my stomach." I whisper, "I'm really hungry."
"I know. Me, too. Try not to think about it."
Easier said than done. Right now I'm all but salivating over the huge meal I've planned out in my head.
Slowly we pick our way through the forest. Our progress is steady and deliberate. Ryland pauses every few minutes to listen for the guard. Part of me just wants to make a mad dash for it but I know the guard is still out patrolling. And who knows just how many have been added to their ranks. For all we know, the Queen could have added every last one of her guards to the hunt.
Exactly how many is that?
One hundred? Two hundred? I don't even know how many guards there are at the Crystal Palace. A shiver slides through me at such a chilling thought. Ryland and I have been reduced to nothing more than prey.
With the nerves humming under my skin, it seems like forever before we reach the edge of the forest. Surprisingly we haven't encountered any difficulties. And by difficulties, I mean we haven't come across the faerie guard. Or maybe I should say they haven't come across us. We crouch down low so that we both have a clear view of the stream and the grassy meadow that lies on the other side. The problem with the meadow, and the stream for that matter, is that there aren't a lot of places for us to take cover. We'll be completely out in the open. Helpless. If the guards catch a glimpse of us from a distance, they'll riddle us with arrows before we even know they've found us.
Part of me doesn't want to leave the protective cover of the forest but the only way we're going to get home is to cross the stream and make our way through the meadow. We stay hunkered down on the forest floor beneath some low lying bushes for about ten minutes just watching and listening to the night around us. Not once do we see the faerie guard.
Nothing seems to move.
Ryland looks at me before cocking an eyebrow as if to say- well, what do you think?
I shrug my shoulders because honestly, I'm scared to death. I'm scared to move and I'm scared to stay. The thing is, we can't afford to stay. Time is running out. We have to keep moving. I can see the stream from here. I hear the water gurgle as it rushes over its bed and my mouth grows even drier knowing how close we are. We're both feeling the effects of dehydration. I feel the throb of a slight headache at my temples from hunger and thirst and maybe even infection
Can you get a headache from an infection raging through your body?
Actually, now that I'm staring at the stream, I see that it's quite broad at the point we're at. It looks like we'll probably have to swim across it. I didn't figure on that but I guess it really doesn't matter. What's a little moonlight swim at this point?
Ryland gestures his head towards the stream and I nod in agreement. Well... here it goes. My heart slams against my chest. Silently we begin crawling on our bellies, staying low to the ground through the tall grass. The water is about half a football field away and our progress is slow and careful. Every little noise has me jumping, turning, twisting to glance around. My nerves are in my throat, I'm so scared.
As we finally reach the stream, my thirst becomes almost unbearable. I can't help but gulp down handfuls of cool water.
Oh, that feels so good!
I seriously can't believe how thirsty I am. Ryland is next to me gulping water just as quickly as I am. When I finally feel like I've drank enough, I begin cleaning out the wound on my palm. It's more swollen than before and hurts at the slightest touch. Not a good sign. While I tend to my hand, I notice that Ryland has picked two long thick reeds. I haven't a clue as to what he's planning to do with them unless they're edible.
At this point, I'm so hungry I'll eat just about anything. Even reeds. My stomach growls in agreement. In between searching the surrounding area for the faerie guard, I watch Ryland. He breaks off the top and bottom parts of the stem. Then he looks through the middle. Finally he beckons me over before handing me one of the sticks.
"Look through the center."
Hollow.
I glance over at him wondering what I'm supposed to do with this.
He points to the water. "We have to swim across and it's going to get pretty deep." I glance again at the stick wondering how this is supposed to help us swim across the stream. "We'll try to stay underwater as much as possible. We can use these to breathe with."
I look at the stick again and it dawns on me that it's like a primitive snorkel. I can't help but give him a look of admiration.
"Let's get moving before our luck runs out."
Again we keep our movements slow and careful as we head into the water. When I'm deep enough, I duck under and surface. I let my body sink and put the stick in my mouth with just the tip protruding from the water so I can get the hang of it in case it
actually becomes necessary to use. I have to admit that the idea is rather ingenious. It takes a bit of practice but the stick does the trick. If I need to stay under the water for an extended length of time, I can do it.
Just as we reach the middle of the stream, I hear it.
The pounding of horse hooves flying across the meadow.
The faerie guard.
It seems as if our luck has officially run out. Lowering my head I scan the area for them. When they finally come galloping into view, I frantically search the water for Ryland but can't find him anywhere. He must be under already. My heart begins to pound a painful tattoo against the wall of my chest.
I have to warn him! Anxiously I search the surface of the stream for his stick.
When I finally spot it, I lower myself as soundlessly as possible before taking off underwater towards him. If he surfaces before I'm able to reach him, we'll both be dead.
Chapter Twenty-Three
In the middle of this stream with nowhere to hide but under the water, I feel incredibly vulnerable. If they see us, it'll be like shooting fish in a barrel. Not exactly the image I need filling my head right now. My belly tightens realizing that I can't allow that to happen. All the water I recently gulped down is now sloshing around with nowhere to go but up. My hands flail as I desperately search for Ryland. Opening my eyes, I can't see more than one or two feet in front of me. I try sweeping my hands from side to side but can't feel him either.
Where is he?
Has he surfaced already?
Does he know that we're no longer alone?
Full blown panic is just setting in when my hand finally connects with something hard. It has to be some part of Ryland's body. I latch on to it, pulling myself to where he is. My frantic hands climb up his body to his face. Relief rushes through me as I put my face directly in front of his. I start pointing up and apparently my wild gesturing works or we have more of a mind connection than I'd previously assumed because he seems to understand that the faerie guard is at the stream. We both dive down a little deeper before using our sticks to breath.
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