In Spite of Everything

by Catherine Lievens

  Calder cleared his throat. “It was an internal struggle. They had problems with the badgers. I’m sure you can appreciate the fact that we don’t want to go into too many details.”

  “The only reason you all live here is that we allow it,” Luther pointed out.

  “Of course. But you have shown no interest in us for several decades. I find it odd that you do now.”

  Luther leaned back in his chair. “Are you implying something?”

  “I’m not implying anything. I’m just saying that while the coyote and the badgers have fought, it’s over now. The explosion was an accident. The house is already being rebuilt, and the coyote alpha has been dealt with. You have nothing to worry about. Even though you might not believe it because we’re animals, we have things in hand. The forest is our home, and we don’t allow people to disrupt our peace.”

  Julian held his breath. He expected Luther to snap and get angry, but instead, he slowly nodded. “I see. I still want more details, please.”

  He waited, and Julian could tell they were in for a very long meeting.

  * * * *

  Kaspar was nervous when Julian came home, but he shouldn’t have been. Julian trudged in, followed by Jacob. They both looked tired, but Julian especially so.

  Kaspar rushed out of the living room. “Why don’t you come sit down?” he told Julian. After Julian had taken his shoes off and left them at the bottom of the stairs, Kaspar gently steered him toward the living room.

  He glared at everyone when he and Julian entered.

  Hector jumped up from his spot on the couch so Julian could sit, then headed to the kitchen, saying, “I’m going to put together a tray for him.”

  Kaspar’s heart swelled with love. These men might not be his blood family, and they might not be related, but they were family. Nothing would ever change that. They took care of each other, and that was all that mattered. They were a better pack than most of the groups the carriers had been born into.

  Julian settled on the couch. Kaspar sat next to him, and even though he wasn’t sure what Julian thought of PDA, he wrapped an arm around his shoulders and pulled him close, kissing his temple.

  “What happened?” Chris asked. He was staring at Julian, and definitely not looking at Jacob, who was hovering at the entrance of the living room.

  Those two still hadn’t made peace, and Kaspar wasn’t sure they would at this point. Jacob had taken a job that meant he wouldn’t go with Chris when Chris left, and Chris hadn’t taken it well.

  “Everything is fine,” Julian said. He sucked in a breath and straightened, giving Kaspar a grateful smile and taking one of his hands to twine their fingers together. “We met with the human team.”

  “What do they look like?” Nico asked.

  Julian smiled. “Like us. They’re no different from us except for the fact that they can’t shift into an animal. But when you meet them, they’re just like us. And I think we got lucky. Even though the leader especially looked uncompromising, I think he’s a good man. He asked questions, and he listened to what we had to say about what happened. He didn’t make any rash decisions.”

  Chris snorted. “That you know of. But he could be telling his bosses that we deserve to die.”

  Julian gave him an indulgent smile. “He could, but I don’t think he will. I’m not sure what’s happening outside of the forest, but I doubt most human beings would want us to die. We might be different, and we might be their prisoners, but all of this happened decades ago.”

  Kaspar wasn’t sure how much faith he had in human beings, but he supposed Julian knew the situation better than he did.

  “Did you talk to the council about us?” Burnell asked. He was curled into an armchair, his arms around his legs.

  “A little. But our situation has nothing to do with the council, not anymore. Thomas told me again as we came back that we are all free to stay if we want to.”

  There was a moment in which everyone seemed to look at everyone. Chris huffed. “Well, we know that Nico and I aren’t staying, no matter how much we might want to.”

  “I’d like to stay, though,” Burnell said. “I don’t have a place to go to.”

  Some of the carriers in the room were here because their alphas had been abusing them, so Kaspar understood. He was one of the lucky ones. Morris had never raised a finger against him, and he’d made sure no one else did. Kaspar had never been attacked or abused, and the only reason he was in the Bishop House was that it had been too dangerous for him to stay with the sleuth when the council was hunting carriers. If he wanted, he could go home.

  But he didn’t want to.

  He knew most of the people around him felt the same way. Even though they’d come here because they were in danger, this had become their home, and the other carriers had become their family. Some of them would have to leave because their alphas wouldn’t want them to stay, but Kaspar suspected that most of them would stick around.

  He was grateful. He wasn’t sure how things would work now that they could leave the Bishop House and live their lives, but he understood that staying was familiar. It was safe. It was a home they could always come back to. It was better than throwing themselves out there not knowing what would happen, especially with some of the experiences they’d had.

  “Can we really stay?” Josiah asked.

  “You know you can. Has Thomas ever lied to you?” Kaspar asked. “Because he’s never lied to me. I know I’m one of the lucky ones here, but I’m not going anywhere, either. This place has become my home, and I think the same goes for most of you.”

  “I could do without Redley leaving his socks all over the place, though,” Lennox said.

  Everyone laughed, and the tension was gone.

  “Socks notwithstanding, we’re all free to go or stay if we want,” Julian repeated.

  He got to his feet and stretched. He looked tired, and Kaspar wasn’t surprised. He hadn’t left the territory for more than twenty years. He hadn’t met that many people for just as long, and he’d never had this kind of responsibility weighing on his shoulders. Today had to have been exhausting for him.

  Kaspar got to his feet, too. Hector came into the room with the tray just then, and Kaspar took it from him, smiling gratefully. “Thank you. I think Julian wants to eat in his bedroom. He’s tired.”

  There were murmurs of assent, and Kaspar gently knocked his shoulder against Julian’s, then tilted his chin toward the entrance in what he hoped was an obvious gesture of let’s go.

  Julian looked around, hesitating. “If you need anything, feel free to come to me,” he said.

  “Go get some rest,” Nico said. “We’ll be here when you wake up. You deserve some sleep.”

  “And some loving from Kaspar,” Chris added.

  Once again, people laughed, and Kaspar smiled at Chris, who, surprisingly, smiled back. Chris was angry and bitter, but he was mature enough to understand that what was happening was no one’s fault. He might snap and glare, but in the end, he would do what was right. He really was the best person to eventually replace his father at the head of the bobcat pride, no matter how much he resented that decision.

  Kaspar and Julian headed upstairs, and they went straight to Julian’s bedroom, just like they always did. Kaspar shared his room, and he was sure his roommates were grateful not to have him around as much as before. They might all want to stay here, but it didn’t mean the Bishop House couldn’t sometimes feel small with so many people living here.

  “Everything really went well?” Kaspar asked as he put the tray down onto the small desk in the corner.

  Julian closed the door and rubbed his face. “It did. I think I’m tired because it was so overwhelming more than anything, because I didn’t really do anything. I was sitting most of the day, after all.”

  Kaspar went to him and gathered him into his arms, kissing the top of his head. “You’re not used to this.”

  Julian chuckled. “An
d I’m old.”

  “You’re not old. I’m going to have to fine you every time you say that if you continue.”

  Julian chuckled and looked up at him. “Fine me? And what does the fine consist of?”

  “I don’t know. Maybe a kiss? I wouldn’t mind being kissed every time you say you’re old.” Or any time, period. Kaspar loved kissing Julian. He would be happy even if that was the only thing they did for the rest of their lives.

  Julian shook his head. He was still smiling, and it was soft and gentle. “You don’t have to fine me to get kissed. I want to kiss you.”

  “You never have to ask. Kiss me as many times and for as long as you want. I’ll always be up for that.” And for so many other things, but now wasn’t the time to talk about them. Now was the time to take care of Julian and make sure he ate and got rest, and that was exactly what Kaspar did.

  Chapter Five

  This was the most complicated thing Julian had ever done, and he’d had a baby on his own.

  He scratched the back of his neck and forced himself to listen to Calder, who was explaining how Julian was supposed to file paperwork. Julian had gotten lost when he’d started explaining what he was filing, and he wasn’t about to ask.

  He should know better. He was older than Calder, and he felt a bit ashamed that he couldn’t follow his explanation, even though he knew it wasn’t entirely his fault. He wasn’t used to this kind of work, and no matter how hard he focused, he kept missing things that would probably be obvious for anyone else.

  “—and again, if you need any help, feel free to ask me or anyone on our side of the council,” Calder said.

  Julian realized he was done explaining whatever he’d been explaining. “I’m really sorry, but I don’t think I remember even fifty percent of what you just said,” Julian confessed.

  To his surprise, Calder laughed. “No worries. It’s complicated. It was for me, too, and I didn’t have the same experiences you had. We didn’t ask you to become a council member so you could file paperwork. We want you in on the council meetings, mostly. We want you to be a voice for the carriers.”

  Sometimes Julian still felt a bit awkward with Calder. He was his son-in-law and a fellow council member. Although, being honest with himself, Julian felt awkward with a lot of people. He just wasn’t used to being around other human beings.

  “I feel like an idiot,” he said.

  “You’re not. You’re a very strong and intelligent man. You and Kari wouldn’t have survived otherwise. And like I said, this is pretty complicated even for people who lived with the cete or any other shifter group for their entire life. Don’t worry too much about it. If you need anything, just ask me. As long as you’re here for the meetings to stand up for the carriers, everything will be all right.”

  He might be right, but Julian wanted to learn. If this was going to be his job, he needed to know what he was doing. He couldn’t rely on Calder or anyone else for much longer. He’d never relied on anyone, and he wasn’t going to start now.

  The door of the meeting room opened, and Luther, the human leader, stepped in. He looked around the room, and his gaze stopped on Calder and Julian.

  Julian resisted the urge to shift and hide under the table. Luther was an intimidating man, even though Julian was pretty sure he was a good person. He’d acted like one, anyway. Of course, Julian wasn’t the best at evaluating people and guessing whether they were good or bad, but he trusted his instincts. They’d kept him alive since he was seventeen, and they would continue to.

  “Can we help you?” Calder asked.

  “Actually, yes. Can I talk to you?”

  Julian’s eyebrows rose high on his forehead, and he looked at Calder. He was surprised how polite Luther was. A few of his team members definitely weren’t, and Julian suspected they saw shifters as little more than animals. Luther didn’t seem to feel the same, and that was a relief.

  Calder gestured at one of the chairs on the side of the table at which they were sitting. “Feel free.”

  Luther sat in one of the chairs. “I’d like more information about the coyotes.”

  Julian leaned back in his chair. He knew what had happened because he’d been told, but Calder had been right there. He would be better at answering Luther’s questions than Julian would be.

  “Let’s hear it,” Calder said.

  Luther nodded and took out a small notebook from his pocket. He flipped a few pages, then asked, “I went over the reports of what happened in badger territory. I know you’re already rebuilding.”

  “We are.”

  “And that’s good. I was just wondering what the council will do about the coyotes.”

  Julian looked at Calder. He was curious about that, too. He had a few ideas, but he didn’t think they mattered.

  “There’s not a lot we can do,” Calder said cautiously. “The council doesn’t have a say in who the next alpha will be. The various shifter groups are led autonomously.”

  “So you’re going to leave the coyotes without an alpha? Will you hope that the next alpha won’t try to blow you up?”

  Calder bristled, and Julian could tell this wasn’t going to end well if he didn’t intervene.

  It was terrifying, but he had to do it. “Usually, the next alpha is the heir,” he explained.

  “So did this alpha have children?” Luther asked.

  Julian shook his head. “He was himself the son of the older alpha who died recently.”

  “Who’s next, then? Does he have any brothers or sisters?”

  Julian liked that Luther had assumed a woman could become alpha. He hoped that eventually that would become a reality, but he knew it was a battle they would need to fight later.

  He looked at Calder again. “There’s Josiah,” he said.

  “Who’s that? A brother?”

  “Yes. I’m pretty sure he won’t want to be the alpha, though. He was severely abused by his father and his older brother. In theory, he should be next, but he will probably decline.” And that was apart from the fact that the coyotes might not want him as their alpha, since he was a carrier.

  Julian didn’t say the last bit out loud, though. Josiah wasn’t here, and Julian didn’t want to give away his secrets. Carriers might be free in the forest now, but that didn’t mean they weren’t still in danger, and there was no way to know what the humans would think about men being pregnant. It was fairly normal for shifters, but Julian could remember from what he’d learned when he was a kid that it wasn’t for humans.

  Luther put down his notebook. “Well, you’re going to have to find a solution. I know it’s none of my business, but I was sent here to keep an eye on the shifters and to make sure everything runs smoothly.”

  “You were sent to make sure we don’t leave the forest,” Calder snapped. He swallowed. “I apologize for my tone.”

  The corner of Luther’s lips curled in a half-smile. “It’s not a problem. And you’re right. My bosses thought that you guys might be starting up a revolution or something like that. They were relieved to find out it was just a war between two shifter groups, but they were clear. They want the forest to be at peace, or they will intervene with force. You don’t want that, and I don’t, either. So whoever this next alpha will be, it has to be someone who won’t start a war. It has to be someone that can work with the council and the other shifter groups. This is none of my business, but it’s my advice.”

  He wasn’t wrong. The coyotes and some of the other shifter groups were on the wrong side of all of this. They wanted things to stay the way they had for the past few decades, but that couldn’t work. The shifters in the forest might be isolated from the rest of the world, but they needed to evolve, and that wouldn’t happen if they stuck with old traditions, like the one of marrying carriers off to the best offer.

  That was out of Julian’s job description, though. He might be a council member now, but he couldn’t select an alpha, and neither could the rest of
the council. They couldn’t make any promises to Luther, but when Julian looked at Calder, he knew they would try to talk to Josiah anyway.

  Julian wasn’t looking forward to it. He thought Josiah deserved to live the rest of his life the way he wanted after everything he’d gone through at the hands of the people who should have loved him. He hated the gang. His father and his brother were dead, but other people, people who had watched from afar and hadn’t raised a finger when he was abused, were still there.

  This could either go well or go terribly wrong. If Josiah declined to take the role of the alpha, they might be able to find a solution. If he agreed, though, they would need to keep an eye on him. He was a good man. Julian knew him well enough to be sure of that. That didn’t mean that if he was in a position of power over the people who had hurt him, he wouldn’t use it to hurt them back.

  Julian had no way to know what would happen, but they needed to find a solution. Otherwise, the humans would step in, and that would definitely go wrong.

  * * * *

  Kaspar smiled when he saw he’d gotten a text from Julian. It was weird to be in the house without him around. Julian hadn’t been with them for long, but Kaspar had already gotten used to his presence, and since they’d started dating, he wanted to spend as much time as possible with him.

  But Julian had a job now. He represented the carriers on the council, and it took a lot of time and energy from him. Kaspar was slightly dismayed, but he was also proud, and he would never say anything against the job. He knew Julian hadn’t been excited at the thought of being a council member, but he had said yes, and he was working his ass off to make sure he succeeded.

  Kaspar blinked when he read the text. He’d thought Julian was just checking in, but instead, he was telling him that he, Calder, and probably Thomas, were headed to the Bishop House to talk to Josiah. Kaspar wasn’t sure what they wanted from him, but he could imagine.