In Spite of Everything

by Catherine Lievens

  “What do you need to talk about?” he asked as he sat on the edge of his mattress. He was in his bedroom, the one he still officially shared with his two roommates. He hadn’t moved his things into Julian’s bedroom yet, even though he spent most of his time there.

  “I don’t know. I guess I just wanted to talk.”

  “About the alpha position?”

  Josiah shrugged and sat at the chair by the desk. “The decision has already been made for me, hasn’t it?”

  “You can say no if you want.”

  “But if I say no, I’ll be responsible for the destruction of the forest. Don’t try to deny it. I know that’s the case. If I say no, Jacqueline will push for her son to have the position. If he becomes the alpha, everyone is fucked. I wouldn’t care about the coyotes’ fate, but I do care about everyone else. Thomas gave me a home when I thought I didn’t have one. He gave me friends and family, and even though sometimes I feel awkward, I know I won’t lose them. I have to do this for him and for the cete, and for everyone else who sacrificed something to help the carriers.”

  Kaspar wished he could tell Josiah that no one else mattered but him, but they both knew it would be a lie. What Josiah wanted mattered, but did it matter more than the rest of the forest?

  Even if Jacqueline’s son became the alpha, Jacqueline wouldn’t have the majority of the council. That was a good thing. What was bad was that apparently her son was dedicated to her. He would do whatever she ordered, and eventually, the coyotes would become a problem again. They might start a war, which was the last thing the forest wanted or needed.

  So yes. Josiah didn’t have the luxury of saying no. Kaspar hated that, but he could too easily imagine what would happen if Josiah didn’t become the next coyote alpha.

  He cleared his throat. “You know you won’t be alone. You’re stronger than you think, but even if you weren’t, you would have help. Julian and I will always be there for you. You just have to call us. I know that Thomas and Morris will teach you how to be a good alpha. You know exactly what not to do. You saw what your father and your brother did, and you’re not like them. You’re a good man, Josiah. Possibly a better man than I am. You’ll do the right thing.”

  Josiah hesitated. “I want to hurt them. The coyotes, I mean. They never tried to stop my father or my brother. I could have gotten killed, and they wouldn’t have said anything.”

  “And it’s a horrible thing. But have you tried putting yourself in their shoes?” That was a terrible thing to ask, but Kaspar wanted Josiah to understand where the coyotes were coming from.

  Josiah was right, of course. No matter how terribly the coyotes had been treated or how scared they’d been, they still should have said something.

  Josiah sighed. “I know. My father would have kicked their asses if they tried anything, and they possibly would have ended up next to me chained to the wall. I thought about that. It doesn’t make it easier to forgive them.”

  Kaspar was relieved. “No one said you had to forgive them.”

  Josiah snorted. “If I’m going to be their alpha, I will have to forgive them. I won’t punish them for something they did long ago, especially not when it was self-preservation.”

  “But you can talk to them. Tell them how much it hurt. Tell them that you won’t tolerate that kind of behavior anymore. Show them that you’re not like your father and your brother. Earn their respect.”

  “I don’t think it’ll be possible. I’m a carrier. They’re going to hate that I’m in charge.”

  Kaspar didn’t miss the fact that Josiah spoke as if he’d already accepted the position. “But eventually, they’ll realize how much better you are than your father and your brother. You’ll show them through your behavior. The council will be there with you for as long as you need them to, and that means that you won’t have to face the band alone. They might grumble and bitch and whatever, but you can do this, and Julian and I will be right there with you to make sure nothing happens to you.”

  “I don’t think I can do this on my own.”

  “But you’re not on your own.” If there was one thing Kaspar was convinced of, it was that.

  None of the carriers in the Bishop House would be alone again. Kaspar would make sure of that. Most of them had lost things. Some had been abused, raped, impregnated against their will. It would take them years to get over what had happened to them, if they ever could.

  But they weren’t alone anymore. Now they had an entire cete by their side, and each other, and Julian was fighting for them on the council. Julian would always have their best interest at heart.

  “I never wanted to be alpha,” Josiah murmured. “I don’t know if I’ll be any good at it.”

  “Even if you suck at it, you still won’t be as bad your father and your brother, or as Jacqueline’s son will be if he becomes the next alpha. Trust me. The band will realize that. They might not like you, and I have no doubt that they’ll make sure you know that, but hopefully, most of them will realize that this is the best outcome for the band.” And if they didn’t, well, maybe they didn’t deserve Josiah. Maybe they did deserve Jacqueline and her son, after all.

  Kaspar knew it was petty to think that way, but he couldn’t help it. He wanted the best for Josiah, and becoming alpha wasn’t. But he suspected that Josiah had made his decision and that he would take his brother’s place. He was too good, and he would get hurt. There was nothing Kaspar could do to help with that, but he would do his best to make sure that the band treated Josiah right.

  He wasn’t sure how he would do that, but he would find a way.

  Chapter Nine

  It had to be Jacqueline. It was the only thing that made sense.

  Julian looked at Josiah, who was walking next to him, his back ramrod straight. Someone had called a council meeting, and Josiah’s name had been mentioned. Julian suspected that Jacqueline wanted to force the council to vote to choose the next coyote alpha. It was something that was only done when there was no heir, but in this case, there was one, so the vote would be useless.

  Julian wasn’t surprised that she was trying, though. He’d expected her to do so sooner, but he was glad she hadn’t. It had given Josiah more time to get used to the idea that he would become the next coyote alpha. He hadn’t accepted yet, but he was talking as if he had, so Julian was hopeful. Josiah wasn’t happy about it, but he was doing the right thing, and that was what mattered.

  “Are you sure I should be here?” Josiah asked.

  “I don’t see why not. The meeting is about you. I think you should be here.”

  “You can’t be sure it’s about me. You don’t even know who called it.”

  “What are the odds? There’s nothing as important right now than the next coyote alpha. Besides, I trust my sources.” Mostly because it was Abel who had told Julian that Josiah had been mentioned. He wouldn’t lie.

  Abel wasn’t a liar, which meant that Jacqueline was trying to overthrow Josiah as the next coyote alpha, and probably to push her son into the position.

  She would have to walk over Julian’s dead body first.

  Calder was waiting for Julian and Josiah in front of the meeting room. He looked worried, but he waved at them when he noticed them. Julian made a beeline for him. “You know what’s going on?” he asked.

  “I probably know as much as you do.”

  “It’s Jacqueline, isn’t it?”

  “I think she was the one to call the meeting, yes.” He looked at Josiah. “This is your time to shine. Have you made your decision?”

  Josiah glared at him, but there was no heat in it. “I haven’t exactly been given a choice, have I?”

  “You can still step away. We’ll find a way around it.”

  Josiah shook his head. “There is no way around this. I’ll do it. I have to. But you’d better not have been lying about the support the council will give me, because I have no idea where to start. It’s not like my father ever taught me ho
w to be an alpha.”

  Calder slapped Josiah’s back. “Don’t worry about that. We’ll be with you every step of the way.”

  Julian was getting used to meetings, but he knew it could be intimidating, so he stuck close to Josiah as they walked into the room. Most of the council members were already there, and while a few ignored Julian and Josiah, most of them waved or smiled at them. They still had the majority, so whatever happened, Jacqueline wouldn’t win. Still, Julian didn’t like this. He didn’t like that she felt so sure of herself that she’d called the council meeting. He was starting to wonder if she was hiding something, and he didn’t like it. He didn’t like being surprised, especially not by Jacqueline.

  He guided Josiah toward the end of the table, where Abel was sitting. Julian left the seat between his and Abel’s empty, and Josiah settled into it. He was bouncing his knee, and Julian let him be. It was normal for him to be nervous. Julian would have been surprised if he wasn’t. Even he was nervous, and this had nothing to do with him.

  The door slammed open, and Jacqueline strode in. She looked like she’d already won, and Julian made a face. She stood tall and was smiling, although Julian was satisfied when he saw her smile falter at the sight of Josiah sitting next to him.

  “What is he doing here?” she asked, pointing her finger at Josiah.

  Julian held his breath, but to his surprise, Josiah didn’t look afraid. Instead, he crossed his arms over his chest and leaned back in his seat. “I’m not sure. You’d have to ask the person who called this meeting, since it’s about me.”

  “I called the meeting. I didn’t invite you.”

  “That’s a pity. Julian invited me. I hope you don’t mind.”

  Jacqueline’s expression told Julian that she did mind—quite a bit. She snapped her mouth shut and glared at Julian, and Julian arched a brow at her.

  She looked away and walked to the end of the table—the end opposite to where Julian and Josiah were sitting, of course—and looked around. “I called this meeting to hold a vote to choose the next coyote alpha,” she declared.

  “The council votes for alphas only when there are no heirs,” Marjory, the bear council member, pointed out.

  “There are no heirs, as the alpha’s son died without children.”

  Marjory pointedly looked at Josiah, and Jacqueline huffed. “He’s not the heir. He’s a carrier. He can’t become the alpha. He might as well be dead because of how useless he is.”

  That was a horrible thing to say, but Julian wasn’t surprised Jacqueline had said it. He reached under the table and briefly squeezed Josiah’s hand, smiling at him. Josiah nodded and turned his attention back to Jacqueline. “The last time I checked, I was still my father’s son. Does it really matter if I’m a carrier?”

  “Of course it matters,” Jacqueline snapped. “Carriers can’t be alphas. You’re weak. You’re only good to give an alpha children.”

  “Isn’t that what some people think about women?”

  Jacqueline’s cheeks flushed. “How dare you?”

  “You just told me that the only thing I have going for me is my ability to make babies. Doesn’t the same go for you?”

  “You little—”

  Calder cleared his throat. “I think we should keep the name-calling outside council meetings.” He looked at Jacqueline. “There is no cause for it in this meeting. Alpha Wilson has an heir, and he’s right here.”

  “Carriers can’t be alphas.”

  “Well, there’s a first time for everything.” Calder looked around the table. “But we can vote, of course. Anyone in favor of having Josiah take his brother’s place as the coyote alpha?” he asked. He raised his hand as he did so, and Julian mirrored his position.

  Most of the people around the table did. A few didn’t, but like Julian had expected, they were in the minority. Jacqueline had forced a vote, and she’d lost it.

  He wasn’t sure why she’d thought she would win. Maybe because of the carrier thing, but things were changing in the forest. People were realizing that being a carrier didn’t mean someone wasn’t good enough, weak, or any of those things. That was why there were carrier laws in place now, and this was a huge first. Josiah would be a good alpha, even though he would need help in the beginning.

  Julian would be more than happy to provide that help.

  “How can you do this?” Jacqueline asked. “There has never been—”

  “A carrier alpha in the forest,” Marjory finished for her. “We are aware of that. You don’t have to repeat it. And obviously, the majority here doesn’t think it matters. You forced a vote, Jacqueline. You lost. You have to accept it.”

  Julian turned toward Josiah. “Congratulations, Alpha Wilson.”

  Josiah grimaced. “It’s going to take a while to get used to that.”

  “But you’ll get used to it. You’ll be a good alpha.”

  Josiah wrinkled his nose, and to Julian’s surprise, got to his feet. He looked around the table, his gaze stopping on Jacqueline. “Thank you for voting for me,” he said. “Jacqueline?”

  She glared at him. “You will never be my alpha. I won’t allow this to happen.”

  “I guess you’re free to move to another territory if that’s what you want, or to Northwood. I’ll be honest—I don’t want you in the band, just as much as you don’t want me as the alpha. You’re free to go. Oh, and one more thing. You’re fired.”

  Jacqueline’s eyes widened. “Fired?”

  “You’re not the coyote council member anymore.”

  She laughed, sounding mean and evil. “I’m not the coyote council member anymore? Who will you replace me with? There’s no one else.”

  “For now, I’ll be the next council member. I can hold both roles for a bit, until I meet with the band and make a decision.”

  “That’s unprecedented.”

  “So is having a carrier alpha. I want you out of band territory by the time I get there. I don’t care where you go, but I never want to see you again.”

  Julian was so proud of Josiah that his chest felt like he was about to explode. He hadn’t expected this, but he knew that he and the others had made the right decision. Josiah would be the perfect alpha for the coyotes.

  * * * *

  Josiah started freaking out as soon as he stepped into the Bishop House. Julian had texted Kaspar to tell him what had happened at the council meeting, and Kaspar was waiting for them. He’d expected this to happen. Josiah was great at showing the others a good exterior, but Kaspar had known he would freak out.

  The door slammed shut, and Josiah started pacing the entrance. “What was I thinking? Oh my God. I wasn’t thinking, was I? I just accepted being the coyote alpha. I fired Jacqueline and told her to leave the band. What was I thinking?”

  Kaspar wondered if they should let him continue to run his mouth and pace or if he should intervene. He looked at Julian, but Julian just shrugged.

  “I don’t have any kind of authority over the coyotes,” Josiah continued. “They’ll take one look at me and laugh their ass off, and probably run me out of the band. And how am I supposed to find a new council member? They’re all dickheads.”

  Kaspar stepped in. He moved in front of Josiah, and when Josiah came toward him, he put his hands on his shoulders and forced him to look at him. “Breathe,” he ordered.

  Josiah shook his head. “I can’t breathe. I can’t do anything. Didn’t you hear? I’m officially the new coyote alpha, and I fired Jacqueline. I also declared myself a council member. What am I going to do?”

  Kaspar squeezed Josiah’s shoulders. “The first thing is that you’re going to breathe. Come on. Take a deep breath and let it out.”

  Kaspar watched Josiah as he finally obeyed. It took a few deep breaths for Josiah’s shoulders to relax, but he finally managed, and Kaspar smiled at him. “You don’t have to make these decisions alone. Remember that. It’s overwhelming right now, but that’s because the meeting just
ended. Give yourself time, Josiah. Give yourself time, and lean on people who already told you that they were going to be there for you. You’re not alone in this, even though you might feel like it.”

  Josiah shook his head. “I don’t know. I should have said no.”

  “Maybe, but you said yes, and I know you. You won’t back down.”

  “This is going to be a disaster.”

  “Maybe, maybe not. You can’t know that until you try. Don’t obsess over this right now. I don’t think anyone asked you to do anything, did they?”

  “No. Julian told me to take a few days to wrap my mind around everything. I don’t think a few days will be enough, though.”

  Kaspar looked around, but to his surprise, Julian was gone. He frowned. It was strange for Julian to leave without saying anything, but especially so when Josiah was having a crisis. Whatever was happening, it had to be important, and Kaspar wanted to go to him and make sure everything was okay. He had to take care of Josiah first, though. He couldn’t just dump him here.

  “Why don’t you go to your bedroom?” he suggested. “Get some rest. Think about what happened. We can talk later,” he told Josiah.

  Josiah rubbed his face. “Unless I run away, sure.”

  Kaspar chuckled. “You won’t run away. I’m sorry, Alpha Wilson. But you agreed to this, and you’re stuck now.”

  Josiah grimaced. “I need to see if it’s possible to change my name. Alpha Wilson reminds me of my father and my brother, and that’s not something I want to have to deal with every day for the rest of my life.”

  “I’m sure we can come up with something.”

  Josiah rubbed his face. “I know it’s the least of my problems. But there are so many of them. I don’t even know where to start.”