My Mum Tracy Beaker

by Jacqueline Wilson

  ‘No, he’s here, but we don’t see each other much. He’s a nurse – he often works night shifts and gets up at midday, when I’m here at Mr Sean’s.’

  ‘You have a hard life, Rosalie,’ I said seriously, but it made her burst out laughing again.

  ‘You’re a funny child, Jess,’ she said.

  ‘Don’t you have a wedding ring?’ I asked, looking at her bare left hand.

  ‘Yes, and an engagement ring, but I don’t wear them when I’m working. I’ll show you.’ Rosalie unbuttoned the top of her shirt and showed me the two rings on a thin chain around her neck, a plain gold band and one set with a little diamond.

  ‘I wonder if my mum will choose a diamond too,’ I said.

  ‘Mr Sean will want it to be big and flashy,’ said Rosalie.

  She was right. Mum came home with a big diamond solitaire sparkling on her finger. Her eyes were sparkling too.

  ‘Oh, Jess, isn’t it gorgeous?’ she said. ‘And it fits me beautifully so I can wear it straight away. You’ll never, ever guess what it cost!’

  ‘A hundred pounds?’

  ‘Much, much, much more!’ Mum whispered the amount in my ear and I gasped. Sean Godfrey was seriously rich!

  He swaggered about proudly, and kept asking Mum if she really liked the ring and was absolutely sure it was the one she wanted.

  ‘Well, it’s not quite as nice as the one I got out of last year’s Christmas cracker, but I suppose it will do,’ said Mum.

  He stared at her, stricken.

  ‘I’m joking, silly. It’s the most beautiful ring in all the world!’

  ‘And you’re the most beautiful girl,’ he said.

  Alfie and I rolled our eyes. Rosalie seemed genuinely pleased and gave them both a hug. She made me feel a bit guilty. When Sean Godfrey drove off to check on things in the gym, I gave Mum a hug too.

  ‘Congratulations,’ I mumbled.

  ‘Thanks, Jess! I couldn’t be happier, really. Imagine, I’m actually engaged. I’m the only girl Sean’s ever proposed to. He’s had heaps of girlfriends in the past, but I can’t object to that, can I, because I’ve had my fair share of boyfriends. And all right, I think he was pretty serious about Sandy Forthright, but he’s sworn to me that it’s all over now. I watched her on i-player the other evening, and she might have a pretty face but she’s the most terrible actress. Her voice! She’s sounds like a Munchkin, all high and squeaky.’

  Mum had to take her ring off to make the fairy cakes for Ava and Alice and me. She put it carefully on the kitchen windowsill. It was still there when Sean came back from the gym.

  ‘Hey, what’s this? You haven’t taken it off already! I thought you promised to wear it for ever and ever.’ He looked genuinely upset.

  ‘And I will wear it for ever and ever, but I can’t keep it on when I’m making cakes, stupid – it would get all gungy with cake mix,’ said Mum, carefully piping a red ‘J’ on the white iced fairy cake. She’d already piped two ‘A’s on two others.

  ‘Don’t call me stupid,’ said Sean Godfrey, with an edge to his voice.

  Mum flushed. ‘Don’t be like that, Sean. I didn’t mean it. I was just joking again.’

  ‘Yeah, well, I get a bit fed up of your jokes at times,’ he said, and he marched out of the kitchen.

  Mum called out to him, but he went on down the hall, out of the front door, back to his car. We heard him driving off.

  ‘Oh, help,’ said Mum.

  ‘Don’t worry, Miss Tracy. Mr Sean flares up like that sometimes, but it doesn’t last long,’ said Rosalie comfortingly, opening the oven to check on her coffee-and-walnut cake.

  ‘I shouldn’t have called him stupid. I know he hates it, because his mum always said he was stupid. And how could I have said it today of all days, when he’s just forked out a fortune on my amazing ring.’ Mum was near tears.

  My tummy was squeezed tight. I wondered if this was going to be another awkward tea session, even though Mum’s fairy cakes had turned out perfectly, and Rosalie’s coffee-and-walnut cake smelled amazing.

  Sean Godfrey stayed out for hours. He still wasn’t back when Marina drove up with Ava and Alice. They’d brought us a little potted palm for a house-warming present.

  ‘Thank you so much! It will look great in the conservatory,’ said Mum.

  ‘You have a conservatory!’ said Marina. ‘I’ve always fancied one, but we haven’t really got room at the back of our house.’

  ‘Shall I show you round?’ Mum offered.

  She gave them a grand tour of the house and the grounds and the conservatory and the swimming-pool extension.

  Even Ava was impressed. ‘You are so lucky,’ she said to me. ‘Your house is a million miles better than ours. I wish my dad was a footballer with his own gym. Mine’s just a boring old lawyer.’

  ‘Sean Godfrey’s not my dad,’ I said quickly.

  ‘Yes, but he will be soon,’ said Alice. ‘Can we come to your mum’s wedding? Can I be a bridesmaid as I’m your best friend?’

  ‘Can I be a bridesmaid too?’ Ava begged. ‘What colour will the bridesmaids’ dresses be?’

  ‘I thought slime-green would look cool,’ said Mum, which was my joke.

  Ava took her seriously. ‘Well, it’s your choice of course, but don’t you think blue would be prettier? Blue suits me, doesn’t it, Mum? It’s because I have blue eyes.’

  ‘Tracy’s kidding you, silly,’ said Marina. She caught hold of Mum’s hand. ‘Oh my Lord! Look at your ring! It’s huge – and so sparkly! So where is this fantastic guy, eh? Aren’t we going to get to meet him?’

  I looked at Mum.

  ‘Well, he’s had to go to his gym. I’m not quite sure when he’ll be back,’ she said.

  But just as she was saying this we heard the car coming up the driveway, and within seconds Sean Godfrey was in the sitting room. I held my breath, wondering if he would have a go at Mum in front of Marina and Ava and Alice – but he was smiling.

  ‘Hi there! You must be Marina. Pleased to meet you. And you two gorgeous girls have to be Ava and Alice,’ he said, giving them a kiss on the cheek. All three went pink and giggled.

  Then he kissed Mum, and held her close. ‘How’s my lovely fiancée?’ he said.

  Then he looked in my direction. I rushed back to the kitchen, mumbling that I had to help Rosalie because I wanted to avoid him giving me a kiss. Rosalie was setting out the cakes on pretty plates, a red rose one for the fairy cakes and a jade-green leaf one for the coffee-and-walnut.

  ‘They haven’t brought a cake too, have they?’ she whispered.

  ‘No, a potted palm,’ I said.

  ‘And I see Mr Sean’s back. Is he still in a mood?’

  ‘He’s all smiley and chatty.’

  ‘There! I said he’d cheer up soon,’ said Rosalie. She put her arm round me. ‘So you can relax now and enjoy having your friends to tea.’

  I did enjoy it, but I was starting to wish that Sean Godfrey had stayed away. He was being Mr Charm, and Marina and Ava and Alice were practically fluttering their eyelashes at him. I had hoped that Alice at least would find him creepy – then we could have had a secret session dissing him upstairs in my bedroom – but she hung on his every word. Ava told him that the girls in her year at school all did football, and asked if he could give her any tips. Marina asked him about the nightclubs and posh restaurants he’d been to, and marvelled at all the celebrities he’d met. He showed off horribly, but had enough sense not to mention Sandy Forthright.

  ‘My, Tracy, you’re going to be in all the magazines soon!’ said Marina. ‘In fact, you could do a rags-to-riches story for us! How do you feel about that? I’ll find the right person to ghost it for you.’

  ‘Why can’t I write it myself?’ Mum asked.

  ‘It’s a matter of getting the tone right. And knowing how to pace things. And of course we’ll want Sean’s side of the story too. I love the childhood-sweethearts angle. And Sean’s deprived background and his fight to get recognized a
s a footballer.’

  ‘I’ll think about it.’ Mum looked indignant, and no wonder. Why would she need anyone to help her write? And why did it have to be Sean Godfrey’s story too?

  ‘I’m sorry Tracy can’t work for you lovely ladies any more,’ said Sean Godfrey.

  ‘Oh, we understand,’ said Marina.

  ‘I’ll carry on looking after the girls until you find someone else,’ Mum said quickly.

  ‘It’s OK, Tracy. I’ve already found someone. Julie, one of the girls at work, employed this lovely French girl, Marie-Thérèse, who’s over here studying. Julie’s moving to the country now, so Marie-Thérèse is free to come to us,’ said Marina. ‘She’s starting on Monday.’

  I gasped.

  ‘Oh goodness, so soon?’ said Mum.

  ‘Well, I knew how awkward it was for you, having to trail over to the girls’ school and the house when you live miles away now.’

  ‘Marie-Thérèse came to meet us this morning and she’s lovely,’ said Ava. ‘She did my hair for me. Doesn’t it look cool? And Mummy’s ever so pleased because she’s going to teach us French and we’ll have the right accent.’

  ‘Marie-Thérèse sang us a song about French elephants, and it was ever so funny. She showed us how to wave our arms around like elephant trunks,’ said Alice, demonstrating. ‘And guess what! She’s got a dog too – a weeny little fluffy one called Pommy. She showed me a photo on her phone. She’s so cute! She can do tricks too. She can shake hands with her tiny paw. Marie-Thérèse says she’ll bring her next week, and then she can shake hands with me! I just love Pommy already.’

  I stared at her, betrayed. She loved Alfie! And what about me? Didn’t she want to be my best friend any more?

  ‘She’s not called Pommy, she’s Pomme. That’s French for apple. See, we’ve learned heaps already,’ said Ava.

  Marina must have seen Mum looking crestfallen. ‘But of course it won’t be the same as having you, Tracy. You’ve been marvellous. You’ve been like a real friend,’ she said. ‘I’ve paid your wages into your bank account, with a special bonus as a thank-you.’

  ‘You didn’t need to do that,’ Mum said stiffly.

  ‘Well, I suppose not, seeing as you’re much better off than me now! But you’ve earned it, darling. And of course you must come round to tea soon. And supper. All of you,’ Marina said, glancing at Sean Godfrey.

  ‘I’ll get Marie-Thérèse to do your hair, Jess, but I don’t think it will work because it’s so curly-wurly,’ said Ava.

  ‘And Alfie can meet Pomme, and then they can be best friends too,’ said Alice, seeing how much she’d upset me.

  Mum said thank you to Marina. I said thank you to Ava and Alice. Alfie gave a little bark to say thank you too. But none of us sounded enthusiastic.

  ‘At least that visit went well,’ said Sean Godfrey when they’d gone.

  I suppose it did, though I felt unsettled and fidgety afterwards. I think Mum did as well. Still, she was relieved that Sean Godfrey wasn’t cross about being called stupid any more. Though he is, he is, he is.

  They got all lovey-dovey again, so I took Alfie for a long walk, round and round the grounds.

  ‘Sean Godfrey is stupid,’ I said. I muttered stupid again and again as I walked – left, right, left, right, stu-pid, stu-pid – with Alfie trotting along in time. Then I told him that I wasn’t sure I liked Marina any more, and I thought Ava a terrible show-off. Alice was still OK, and I was very glad when she insisted that I was still her best friend, but I wished she wasn’t so keen on this little apple dog. Alfie agreed that she sounded silly. I tried teaching him to shake my hand with his paw, but he looked scornful and said he wasn’t a cutesie-pie little dog who did party tricks, thanks very much.

  It started to rain a bit, so Alfie and I trailed inside. We didn’t feel like joining Mum and Sean Godfrey, who were down in the cinema room, so we went to find Rosalie instead. She’d already made everywhere immaculate, and was sitting down reading Glossip and eating a slice of her coffee-and-walnut cake.

  ‘Sean Godfrey isn’t in that magazine, is he?’ I asked anxiously. ‘Or that actress Sandy Forthright?’

  ‘No, sweetheart. Don’t worry – he doesn’t see her any more,’ said Rosalie.

  ‘You promise?’

  ‘Darling, I know everything about Mr Sean.’

  I sat down beside Rosalie and helped myself to a slice of cake too.

  ‘Not too big a slice!’ she warned me. ‘We don’t want you being sick again.’

  ‘I’m fine now,’ I said, munching. I fed Alfie a couple of doggy treats from my pocket so he didn’t feel left out. ‘Rosalie, tell me honestly – what do you really think of Sean Godfrey?’

  ‘He’s very good to me.’

  ‘I know, you keep saying that, and maybe he is, I don’t know – but do you like him?’

  Rosalie shrugged her shoulders. ‘He’s my employer, not my boyfriend. I don’t have to think whether I like him or not.’

  ‘Do you think he’s stupid?’

  Rosalie looked anxious and listened hard, her head on one side.

  ‘It’s all right, he can’t hear – he’s down in the cinema room,’ I said.

  Rosalie relaxed. ‘Of course he’s stupid!’ she said, chuckling. ‘But try to show him some respect, Jess. He’s doing his best to be good to you too.’

  I suppose he was, in his own way. The next day he took Mum and me to Chessington World of Adventures. It was Mum’s idea – Cam took her there when she was a little girl. I got quite excited – but then they said I couldn’t take Alfie because they don’t allow dogs.

  ‘I won’t go then,’ I said. ‘Alfie and me will stay with Rosalie.’

  ‘Rosalie doesn’t work on Sundays,’ said Mum.

  ‘Then we’ll stay by ourselves.’

  ‘Don’t be silly. As if I’d let you stay by yourself!’

  ‘As if I’d let Alfie stay by himself!’ I retaliated. ‘I can’t leave him all day long. He won’t understand – he’ll think I’m never, ever coming back!’ I started to get tearful at the very thought of it.

  ‘It’s OK, Jess,’ said Sean Godfrey. ‘I’ve asked Trev, one of the lads at the gym, to come round. He’ll take Alfie for a walk and give him something to eat.’

  ‘Alfie won’t want some stranger taking him for a walk. He’ll want me,’ I said.

  But when Trev came to the house, Alfie seemed to like him a lot. Trev bent down and held out his arms, and Alfie went rushing up and licked him joyfully, as if he’d been dying to meet him all his life.

  ‘Let’s go for a little walk right away, mate,’ said Trev.

  Alfie bounced about, barking, clearly thinking this an excellent idea. He went off with Trev without even looking back.

  ‘There!’ said Sean Godfrey. ‘Come on then, girls.’

  Mum squeezed my hand. ‘Alfie will be fine, Jess, I promise.’

  So I had to leave him. Chessington World of Adventures was exciting, and we went on lots of the rides. We didn’t even have to queue. This guy in charge was a big football fan, and when he recognized Sean Godfrey he came round with us as if we were royalty. No one seemed to mind. Lots of people wanted selfies with Sean Godfrey. Some wanted photos of Mum and me with him too. Mum didn’t seem to mind a bit. She hung on Sean’s arm and grinned. I expect I was scowling.

  Sean Godfrey tried to make me cosy up to him too. He kept fussing over me and telling me daft jokes and buying me ice cream. He insisted on taking me into the souvenir shop and buying me a great big toy wolf – ‘Because you like dogs, Jess.’

  The shop assistant said I was a very lucky girl. I had to lug it round with me all day, until I was boiling hot and my arms ached. I didn’t like the wolf. It had a sly face, and a lolling pink tongue that turned my stomach. It looked like it wanted to eat me up.

  I just couldn’t make myself act grateful to Sean Godfrey. When we had quite a crowd around us, he seized hold of the wolf and pretended to make him bite a little kid, who squealed in fe
arful delight. Then he did the wolf act on me, but I clamped my lips shut to stop myself squealing too. I expect I looked surly, because I heard an old lady say, ‘Sean’s daughter looks like a spoiled little madam.’

  I kept fretting about Alfie, wondering if Trev had cleared off the moment we left – but when, at long, long last, we got home, he was still there, watching football, with Alfie curled up by his side, looking very happy and relaxed.

  He did come running when I dropped the wolf and held out my arms and called him, and gave me a lot of hello licks – but then he trotted back to Trev so that they could watch the rest of the football match together.

  Sean Godfrey burst out laughing. ‘There now, Jess! No need to make a fuss about leaving the dog any more. He’s clearly got a friend for life in young Trev here.’

  ‘I’ll look after Alfie any time, boss. He’s a cracker,’ said Trev.

  I was pleased that Alfie had made a new friend – but a little bit hurt that he hadn’t missed me at all.

  ‘Someone’s nose has been put out of joint!’ said Sean Godfrey, pulling a face at me.

  I couldn’t wait to go to bed to get away from him. I had to take the wolf up with me too. Woofer didn’t like him one bit and cowered under my pillow. Alfie seemed keener, and played tug with him. Alfie’s teeth were stronger and sharper, and the wolf’s face got a bit chewed.

  Mum was shocked when she came into my room. ‘For pity’s sake, Jess, don’t let Alfie savage that wolf like that. It cost Sean a fortune!’ she said.

  ‘I didn’t ask for it. I don’t even like it,’ I said sulkily.

  ‘Why are you being such a brat?’ Mum asked. ‘You’re usually such a sweet kid. Sean’s trying so hard to get on with you, but he can’t seem to do anything right.’

  ‘He doesn’t like me one bit. He was just making a fuss of me to show off to everyone. He can’t fool me, even if he can fool you,’ I said.

  Mum sighed. She twisted her flash ring round and round her finger. ‘Couldn’t you try just a little bit, Jess? Please?’