Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  “Jareth?”

  “He’s an Alverian Empath Healer,” Garen explained.

  Declan shook his head. “I know that Alverian Healers are very powerful, and I’m sure Jareth will do all he can, as will the Tigrens. But it’s not going to work. Nor will a healing tank.”

  “Why not?” Faron asked.

  “Because they can’t remove whatever Vari received from the Doftle. It would be like trying to heal a knife wound without first removing the knife. The data will still be there, and it will still be too much for her brain to handle.”

  Faron and Garen looked at each other for a long moment. Declan was right, and they knew it.

  “Have you any ideas how to save my daughter’s life, Declan?” Faron asked.

  “Yes, I do.” Declan glanced at his brothers. “Just one.” Their eyes widened in surprise, then lit with hope.

  “What is it?” Faron asked, too upset to notice the byplay between the brothers.

  “Vari is our berezi, Lord Faron,” Declan said. “You know this.”

  “Of course,” Faron said, shaking his head. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of that myself. Do it, Declan. Do it now.”

  “We can’t do it now,” Declan said, his frustration obvious to all of them. “We have to wait for the pheromone suppressants to wear off first.”

  “If she’s still taking the suppressants, does that mean you haven’t yet…reached an understanding?” Garen asked delicately.

  “No, that’s not what it means,” Declan said, understanding that Garen was assuming they hadn’t had sex. A logical assumption to make, but incorrect. “It’s a long story for another time. Suffice to say for the moment that we react sexually to Vari, but our mating fangs have not descended. We believe that once she stops taking the suppressants, our mating fangs will descend. We’ve discussed the matter between the four of us and agreed that after we completed our mission on the Leaper, she would stop taking the suppressants.”

  “We are very interested in hearing how this came about,” Garen said. “But for now, it seems as though you’ve already agreed to linking, so I see no problem with you doing it as soon as soon as you can.”

  “No Highness,” Declan admitted. “Vari hasn’t agreed to soul-link. There’s a problem she said she couldn’t tell us about until she got permission from someone.”

  “Permission?” Faron asked, surprised. “I’m afraid I don’t understand.”

  “Nor do we,” Declan said. “We don’t even know who she needed to get permission from. But whoever it is, whatever the problem is, we have to do this. If we don’t, she’ll die, and we can’t just stand back and watch that happen.”

  “We love Vari, too, Declan,” Garen said. “There’s not much we wouldn’t do to save her life. But we can’t condone a forced linking.”

  “Are you suggesting that we just stand by and watch her die?” Declan demanded. “Would you do the same in our place?”

  Garen thought back to the day Lariah had been stabbed, and their decision to attempt conversion to save her life. It wasn’t the same situation as this, though. Lariah had wanted to be converted, and they’d known it. They just hadn’t know if the attempt would save her life, or take it from her.

  Garen looked to Faron, who sighed. “Vari is our first born child, and she means the world to us. My initial response is to urge you to go to her and do this now.”

  “But?” Declan asked tightly.

  “But I can’t. This has to be her decision, Declan. If she hasn’t agreed to soul-link, then we can’t support it.”

  “Since she’s in a coma we can’t very well ask her,” Declan said, his frustration mounting.

  “I have an idea,” Jay said quietly. All eyes turned to him. “We give Vari the first injection so that it can heal her and make her physically strong enough for the data influx. The moment she becomes conscious we‘ll explain the situation. I think she’ll agree to link with us. But if she doesn’t, if she refuses to go further, then we will abide by her choice and withhold further injections.”

  “There is no telling what the consequences of that would be for the three of you,” Garen said.

  Declan looked at Jay, then Kai. “It doesn’t matter, Highness,” he said with sudden calm. “If we don’t try, we lose her. If we do try, we may lose her. Either way, where Vari goes, we will follow.”

  “You’re right,” Faron said, his shoulders slumping. “If you do nothing she will die anyway. As long as you give her the choice, I will agree to and support this.”

  “We’ll give her the choice, Lord Faron,” Declan said. “On this you have our word.”

  “Can you tell us how long it will take for the pheromone suppressants to wear off?” Kai asked.

  “Twenty six hours,” Garen said. “It was specifically designed to last that long and no longer.”

  “We don’t know when she takes them,” Kai said. “It’s been seven hours since we met to finalize plans before transporting to the Leaper. That means we have to wait nineteen hours, minimum.”

  “If Vari decides not to continue, we’ll contact you so that you may speak with her,” Declan said. “If she decides as we hope, we’ll ask someone to inform you of that, then we’ll contact you as soon as we can. If there’re any changes to the situation, we will let you know that, too.”

  “I appreciate that, Declan,” Faron said. “We all do.”

  “Do everything you can to convince her, Declan,” Garen said. “You three are the only family we have remaining save for our parents and our children. We do not want to lose you any more than we want to lose Vari.”

  ***

  Declan led the way from the conference room back to the infirmary. Kai and Jay walked a half step behind him in a formation that had always felt as familiar and natural as breathing. It was hard to believe that, after just a few short days, they could all feel Vari’s absence so keenly that each step they took rang with an emptiness that matched the hollow place in their hearts.

  Declan entered the infirmary without even noticing the people they passed, or the worried, sympathetic expressions they received. He went directly into the small private room where Vari lay motionless on a medi-cot. The panel on the wall above the bed displayed a variety of graphs, lights, numbers and other information, but the Dracon-Bats didn’t pay much attention to it as they gathered around the medi-cot.

  Pandora sat on the pillow beside Vari’s head, a position she hadn’t moved from since appearing shortly after Declan arrived in the Bihotza’s infirmary. Declan, Jay, and Kai had eyes only for Vari, though. She looked so fragile lying there, which they knew she’d hate, though they didn’t know why.

  “I’m not sure about this, Declan,” Kai said, breaking the silence. “Something is telling me this isn’t the right course to take.”

  “I don’t like it either,” Jay said. “But it’s this or watch her die and I can’t do that.”

  “Do you think that the end justifies the means, like Vari said?” Kai asked.

  “No, Kai,” Declan said softly. “None of us feel that way. Not now, anyway. I understand your reluctance because I feel the same way. What we’re planning to do is wrong and I will not pretend otherwise. Nor will I stand by and watch her die.”

  “What we’re doing isn’t that bad,” Jay argued. “We‘ll give her a choice. A choice she doesn’t have now.”

  Declan sighed. He did not want to debate this, or even discuss it. It wouldn’t make any difference, just like his feeling that it was wrong didn’t make any difference. The simple truth was that he couldn’t not do it. “When her pheromone suppressants wear off, we will do this.”

  “Do you love her?” Pandora asked, leaving Vari’s pillow to hover at eye level with them.

  “Yes, I love her,” Declan said. Pandora looked to Jay, and then Kai.

  “Yes,” they both said at the same time.

  “What will you do if, after giving her a choice, she chooses against you?”

  “We will follow her to the
next plane and hope that our souls are granted another chance to find each other in the river of time,” Declan replied.

  “You are not as I believed you to be,” Pandora said thoughtfully. Her head cocked to one side as though she were listening to something they couldn’t hear. “It’s not yet Vari’s time to leave the plane of the living,” she said a few moments later. “Nor is it time for you to link the soul you share with hers.”

  “How can you know this, Pandora?” Declan asked. Her brows lowered and he sighed. “Please don’t be offended. We’re scared, Pandora. She means everything to us. We can’t just stand by and watch her die.”

  “I understand, Commander Declan,” Pandora said. “I too was afraid of losing her.”

  “Was?” Jay asked.

  “Do you know of the Eternal Pack of Clan Lobo?”

  “Yes, we do,” Declan replied. “We were not there the day they showed themselves while attempting to save Arima Saige’s sons, but we know of it.”

  “Then you know they sacrificed eons of secrecy to help save the unborn sons of their Chosen.” Declan, Jay and Kai all nodded solemnly. “Do you think they’d do less for their Chosen’s first born?”

  “That is a question we cannot answer, Pandora, as we know almost nothing of the Eternal Pack,” Declan said. “However, that you asked such a question gives us hope.”

  “It was meant to,” Pandora said. “You’re asked to be patient, Declan, Jaydan, and Kaidan Dracon-Bat.”

  “They will save her?”

  “There are no promises in this life or the next, Commander Declan,” Pandora said. “But they will not allow her to slip away from us without a fight, and those of the Eternal Pack are the strongest warriors Clan Lobo ever produced.”

  Declan gazed into the tiny woman’s solemn eyes, then he bowed to her, fist to heart, his brothers following his lead. “We thank you, Pandora, for your counsel. We will remain at her side.”

  “Of course,” Pandora said. “You are her Rami, after all.”

  ***

  The Dracon-Bats held vigil throughout the night, their eyes barely leaving Vari’s face as she lay motionless on the medi-cot. Jay sent an encrypted message to Prince Garen and Lord Faron to apprise them of the change in plans, and update them on Vari’s unchanging condition. They received regular reports from Captain Finch regarding the Leaper’s status which, on their orders, he copied to the Ugaztun.

  The next morning Dr. Jula attempted to get Declan, Jay, and Kai to go eat and get some rest, but they refused to leave Vari’s side. She had breakfast delivered to them in the infirmary instead, and threatened to kick them out if they didn’t eat it.

  “We’ll eat, Dr. Jula,” Kai promised dully. “If only because we need to be here for Vari.” Dr. Jula gave them a sympathetic look, then left them alone.

  “Pandora,” Declan said, “can I ask you something about Vari?”

  “Sure,” she replied, flying from Vari’s pillow to the edge of the small table beside Declan’s chair. She was in her blond haired blue eyed form again, but he barely noticed.

  “Why does she dislike compliments so much?”

  Pandora’s eyebrows rose. “Dislike compliments?”

  “Maybe that’s the wrong way to put it,” he said, pouring coffee from a carafe. “Praise might be a better word.”

  “Ah, yes,” Pandora said, sitting down on the table. She smoothed the skirt of her black and white striped dress over her legs as she considered the best way to explain. “Remember when that crewman touched her, and I told you she doesn’t tell people because she doesn’t like to be treated differently?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Well, it’s sort of the same thing, but bigger.”

  “I don’t understand,” Declan said.

  “Vari is the eldest of Clan Jasani triplets, like you, Commander,” Pandora said. “It’s part of who and what she is to watch over and care for her sisters. It’s not as strong a trait in Clan females as it is in males, but it still exists.

  “For reasons you’re fully aware of, she couldn’t fulfill her instincts to watch over her sisters. To make matters worse, except for her face and the color of her eyes, everything about Vari is different from her sisters. She’s not just smarter, but many times smarter. She’s physically stronger and much faster than her sisters, and has interests that they don’t even understand, let alone share.” Pandora looked over at Vari and sighed. “She knows that she had to be isolated for her own safety. Which means the same thing as being isolated because she’s different.”

  “But her differences are good things,” Jay said.

  “That’s in the eye of the beholder,” Pandora said. “I don’t think she minds the differences themselves. Not any more. But she doesn’t want to be treated differently because of them. She just wants people to see her for who she is, not what she can do.”

  “I see,” Declan said, nodding. “Thank you, Pandora. Very much.”

  Pandora blushed, which surprised him. “I’m glad to help you understand her better,” she said, her eyes on her hands. “I love her, and I want her to be happy.”

  “Would you like some breakfast, Pandora?” Kai asked, hoping to lift the somber mood just a little.

  “Yes, I would,” Pandora said. “I haven’t eaten since yesterday morning. I just don’t want to leave for however long it’ll take to order something.”

  “That’s not a problem,” Jay said, reaching for his hand terminal. “What do you want?” Pandora told him and he called the cafeteria to place the order for her.

  “No meat or eggs?” Kai asked curiously.

  “I can’t eat meat,” Pandora said. “Or eggs. Sometimes it smells so good to me, so I gave in to temptation once. I only took one bite of bacon, but that was way too much. Doc said if I ever did anything so foolish again he wouldn’t treat me.” Pandora smiled sheepishly. “Vari sure got angry with him about that, even though she’d already told me how foolish I was half a dozen times herself by then. She made Doc promise to treat me if I got sick no matter the cause. He even apologized. It was kind of amazing.”

  “Sounds like it,” Kai said. “But I’m not surprised. Vari takes care of those she loves.”

  “She does,” Pandora agreed.

  Pandora’s meal arrived within just a few minutes, and the four of them ate together. They didn’t talk any more, but the silence didn’t bother them. It was companionable rather than tense.

  Around mid-morning Lanok came in for a brief visit, and to tell them that every member of the crew was praying for Vari. Not long after he left, Jay spoke for the first time in a few hours.

  “The suppressants should have worn off my now.”

  “She’s in a coma, Jay,” Declan reminded him.

  “Yes, of course,” Jay said, shaking his head slightly. Obviously she wouldn’t be releasing pheromones in her current physical state. “We wouldn’t have been able to attempt converting her anyway.”

  “No, we wouldn’t have,” Declan agreed.

  Suddenly several lights on the panel above the bed began to flash red. A moment later an alarm sounded, causing all three of them to stiffen. Before they had a chance to do or say anything, Dr. Jula hurried into the room. The men stepped back out of her way as she worked over Vari.

  “She’s afraid,” a low voice said from the doorway. They all turned to see Shanti staring at Vari, her large black eyes full of sorrow and worry.

  “Afraid?” Declan asked, reaching in vain for Vari’s emotions. Shanti nodded.

  “How can you know this?” Kai asked. “We are her Rami, but we sense no feelings coming from her at all.”

  “I’m an Aural, and right now her aura is full of fear.” Her eyes shone with unshed tears. “Vari hates being afraid,” she said, her voice breaking. “It makes her feel helpless.”

  “Shanti is right,” Dr. Jula said to Declan. “Vari is extremely distressed which is having a dangerously negative affect on her physical condition.”

  Once again Pandora
rose up from her place on Vari’s pillow and hovered in front of Declan, though she moved far more quickly this time and was clearly tense. “The Eternal Pack wishes to send you into Vari’s mind. There is little time, Commander. Will you agree?”

  “Yes,” Declan said at once.

  Pandora’s eyes became unfocused as she listened to something they couldn’t hear. After a moment she said, “They say she needs you, all three of you, to connect with her mind right now. You must help her through the fear she is now experiencing, and remain with her as long as you can. They have much work yet to do and need more time to complete it.”

  “We will not leave her until we are forced to do so, on this you have our word.” Declan moved closer to the side of Vari’s bed, Jay and Kai close beside him.

  “Dr. Jula, please see that Vari’s Ata and Prince Garen are kept updated on her condition. Captain Finch will provide you with contact information.”

  “I’ll see to it, Commander,” Dr. Jula replied.

  “Thank you,” he said. Then, not knowing what else to do, he waited. After a moment he felt an enormous power surrounding himself and his brothers and he tensed before he could prevent it. He forced himself to relax and focus on Vari, sensing his brothers as they, too, struggled to relax within the unfamiliar power. The room around him appeared to waver sickeningly so he closed his eyes, refusing to think about it.

  Crying.

  Declan opened his eyes but saw only darkness. He blinked rapidly, but the darkness didn’t change. The crying continued so he followed the sound, floating in the darkness as it grew louder, indicating he was getting closer.

  There. A light. He moved toward it. It grew bigger and brighter. He moved faster, sensing Jay and Kai right beside him.

  He stopped just inside the light, his eyes fixed on Vari as she sat huddled on the floor, wearing the same med-gown she was currently wearing in the waking world. She looked up at them for a long moment, her face too white, her eyes dilated with fear.

  “Declan?” she asked in a small voice. “Jay? Kai? Are you really here?”