Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  That was really the only word Declan could think of to describe it. The two long strips of what he’d once thought of as fabric changed shape and color as they twined around each other in flowing, graceful movements. After a couple of minutes they returned to Vari and laid down on the bed in front of her before going still.

  “That was amazing,” Kai said, handing her cup back to her. “I really want to learn En Dairii. Will you teach me?”

  “Teach us,” Jay corrected. “Those dairi are fascinating weapons. I wonder how long it would take us to learn to do what you just showed us.”

  “I don’t know. I was a kid when I started playing with them. I doubt you’d have much trouble learning the Art, but for most people it’s a difficult art to master. Like most things, not everyone is suited for it.”

  “Would you prefer that we ask Lanok to teach us?” Declan asked.

  “No, I wouldn’t. I’ve never taught anyone before, so I’d want to get lots of help from him, but I think I’ll enjoy teaching you. You’ll have to get dairi made first, of course.”

  “If you’ll point us in the right direction, we’ll get that done when we reach Jasan,” Declan said. “That reminds me. I want Kunian steel weapons for the Bihotza.”

  “That might not be so easily done,” Kai warned. “I’ve already looked into it. Kunian steel must be grown into the shape of the weapon being made, and that takes time. It’s always been a coveted material, and an expensive one. Since it’s the only thing that’ll cut Doftle flesh, it’s become quite popular as well.”

  “Then we need to get an order in as soon as possible,” Declan said. “First and foremost, I want each of us to replace our personal weapons with Kunian steel.” He turned to Vari. “What type of weapon would you like aside from the dairi?”

  “Throwing knives,” she replied. “Aunt Aisling taught me.”

  “Excellent,” Kai said with a smile. “Those are our preferred weapons. I’ll place an order today.”

  Vari got of the bed and went to the table to refill her cup. She carried the carafe back to the bed to top off their cups as well, then returned it.

  “You have something on your mind,” Declan said. Vari nodded, chewing on her lip nervously which worried them.

  “I spent my childhood alone, for the most part, as you know,” she began. They nodded. “One of the unfortunate side effects of that is that when I need to really concentrate on something, I have to be alone to do it. I even make Pandora go away.”

  Declan was frowning, but she didn’t feel anger or hurt coming from him. “You need to figure out how to process the new information in your head,” he said.

  “No, it’s not that,” she said. “The Eternal Pack…,” she paused, trying to think of the easiest way to explain. “They broke everything I got from the Doftle into chunks, and then put each chunk in a compartment in my mind that’s sealed off, if that makes any sense.”

  “It does, actually,” Jay said, looking a little surprised. “How do you access the chunks if they’re sealed away ?”

  “I don’t know for certain, but I think I’ll be able to access each chunk when I need the information within it, and not before. I don’t actually have any of that information available to me at the moment which made no sense to me at first.”

  “At first?” Declan asked.

  “Yeah, I think I know why now. There’s a puzzle I need to solve using information I already have.”

  “What’s the puzzle?” Kai asked.

  “Good question,” she said with a sigh. “I just don’t have an answer yet. I know that sounds strange, and I’m sorry, but I promise I’m not being evasive.”

  “We know that, Vari,” Declan said. “Please tell us what you need.”

  “I need to concentrate, and at the same time, let my mind kind of…ramble where it will. When I’m at home I wander around the ranch. Here, I’ll just wander around the ship instead, but I have to be alone or I won’t be able to relax my mind the way I need to.”

  “This is not going to be a problem, so please stop worrying,” Declan said. “We’ll keep our distance and allow you the space and time you need. Our feelings will not be hurt so please put that out of your mind. All we ask is that you let us know if there’s anything we can do to help.”

  “I will, I promise. And thank you so much for understanding.”

  ***

  For two days Vari sensed the Dracon-Bats watching her from a distance. Given her dislike of being stared at, she was surprised to find that it actually comforted her in a way she didn’t understand, but accepted gladly. She spent most of her time alone, day and night. During the day she walked the long corridors of the ship for hours on end, her eyes unfocused and distant. At night, she worked on the vid terminal in her stateroom, researching the ideas she’d come up with during the day.

  Her brain was capable of working on dozens of different lines of thought at the same time, but if she got sidetracked, even a little, she’d lose them all. Then she’d have to start all over. So, as much as she missed spending time with her men, she slept alone, wandered alone, and ate her meals in her room.

  She shooed Pandora away too, as she always did when she needed to focus, sending her to the Leaper to spend time with Ria or Shanti. She saw Pandora with the Dracon-Bats several times, which made her happy. It was a relief to see her getting along with them. She loved Declan, Jay, and Kai, and would never give them up. But she loved Pandora too, and didn’t want to lose her companionship.

  The day before they were due to meet up with the Jasani task force Vari caught up with the Dracon-Bats as they were leaving the cafeteria after lunch.

  “Hello, babe,” Kai said.

  “Hi,” she replied, unable to prevent herself from blushing at the endearment. “I wonder if you, all of you I mean, would mind helping me place a high priority encrypted call.”

  “Of course not,” Declan said. “We can do that now, if you like.”

  “Yes, please,” she said, then fell into step beside Declan. Pandora left Jay’s shoulder for hers. “I noticed the four of you spending time together.”

  “Yes, Pandora has been filling us in on events concerning the Doftles as well as our young cousins,” Declan said. “We are very much looking forward to meeting them as adults.”

  Vari was glad to hear that, but confused, too. “I know you promised to make some changes in how you view certain matters, and please don’t take this wrong, but I don’t understand how you made such a drastic change so quickly.”

  “I know it seems strange considering our attitude and behavior of just a few days past,” Declan said, stopping in the corridor so that they formed a small circle. This was a conversation they all needed to be a part of.

  “Quenton, Sam, and Karl were more than brothers to us,” Jay said at a nod from Declan. “Our parents and our eldest brothers died in an accident not long after we were born. Several members of Clan Dracon offered to raise us, including the Princes’ parents. But our brothers declined, choosing to raise us themselves.”

  “They were more like fathers to us than brothers,” Kai picked up the story. “They taught us everything. The history of the Klanaren, and of Clan Dracon. What it meant to be warriors and men of honor. When they passed to the next plane we lost fathers, brothers, mentors, confidants, and what little remained of our immediate family, all at the same time.”

  Declan reached out with gentle fingers to wipe the tears from Vari’s cheeks. “We truly didn’t recognize how extreme our reactions to their deaths was,” he said. “It was only when you pointed it out to us that we realized what we’d allowed ourselves to become. The absolute worst thing we’ve ever done in our lives was to treat you the way we did that morning. I think that, more than anything else, drove home to us just how far we’d strayed from the men we once were. The men our brothers raised us to be.”

  “What you did wasn’t as bad as all that,” she said. “Yes, it hurt my feelings, and yes, it was unfair to me, and to Salene, Rayne, a
nd Tani. But if that’s the worst thing you’ve ever done, then I’d have to say that’s pretty impressive.”

  “We disagree,” Jay said. “You are our berezi, Vari. That makes you the most important person in our lives. You, above all others, deserve the best we have to offer. Not the worst.”

  “Knowing how much we hurt you made it almost easy to see ourselves and our actions clearly,” Kai said. “That’s really all there is to it.”

  Vari knew that being Clan Jasani had a lot to do with their ability to heal their minds and emotions so quickly. Even so, she doubted it was as simple as they made it sound. “I’m sorry that you were in so much pain for so long, and I understand your actions in that light. But I also think that isolating yourselves the way you did had more to do with how long you held onto your grief than the loss you suffered.

  “It’s not easy to be isolated. It does things to you. I know you had each other and your crew, but you were still apart from all that remained of your family, your world, and all that you loved.”

  “You’re right,” Kai said. “Isolating ourselves was not the right choice, and probably hurt us more than our grief. But that’s all in the past now.”

  “Yes, it is, and that’s a good place for it to stay,” Vari said.

  “May I ask you a question?” Kai asked.

  “Of course.”

  “You took those pheromone suppressants for our sakes.” She nodded. “How much did you suffer, knowing we were yours, and knowing you’d never have to be alone again if you just told us?”

  “Does it matter?” Vari asked with a little smile. “That, too, is in the past. Today is what we have, and personally, I’m happy with it.”

  “So are we, Vari,” Declan said. “Never doubt it.”

  “I won’t.” She gave each of them a long hug and a few moments later they resumed their walk to the secure conference room.

  “Out of curiosity, is there any particular reason you want all three of us along for this call?” Declan asked.

  “When I’m finished with my call, I need to discuss something with you. If this is a good time. If not, we can do it later, but I’d like to do it before we meet with the Princes and my fathers tomorrow.”

  “We don’t mind at all, and now is fine,” Declan said. “Can you tell us what this is all about?”

  “It’s not something I can explain in just a sentence or two, so I think it’s best to wait.”

  “Very well,” Declan replied. They walked the rest of the way up to the secure conference room in silence. Once they were inside and the door was locked, Jay asked her who she wanted to contact. Vari rattled off a series of numbers and he placed the call with the encryption she’d requested.

  “We can wait outside if you like,” Declan offered.

  “No, that’s not necessary.”

  “Jay, narrow the camera focus on Vari, please,” Declan said. Jay arched a brow but did as asked.

  A moment later a young woman with a long thick braid over one shoulder and wearing a circlet with a sparkling ruby on her forehead, appeared on the screen.

  “Vari,” she said, smiling widely enough that it pulled against the long scar that cut diagonally across her cheek. “This is an unexpected, but very welcome surprise. How are you?”

  “I’m well, Salene,” Vari replied, startling the Dracon-Bats though she didn’t notice. “I need your help.”

  “I’ll do anything I can to help you, Vari, you know that.” Salene frowned. “It’s my understanding that the Leaper has been recovered and is safely on its way to Jasan. I hope that’s still the case.”

  “It is, don’t worry. This is about another matter. Have you come across a reference to a colony during your review of the data from the silo mainframes?”

  “Colony,” Salene repeated, tapping her fingers on the desk in front of her as she thought. “Not that I can recall. Can you tell me what this is about?”

  “It’s about the little thugs, so no, not at the moment,” Vari replied. “When we get to Jasan, then yes.”

  “I understand,” Salene said. “I’ll ask Jinjie to run a search on all of the data we have for any mention of that word. It’s quite possible it’s in there somewhere and none of us paid attention to it. We have so much now that it’s difficult to wade through so it’ll take time, but I’ll contact you when I have an answer.”

  “Thanks, Salene,” Vari said. “One other question, if you don’t mind.”

  “Of course not.”

  “Where are the surviving Kinahn women?”

  “As of about three days ago, they’re all here, on Jasan,” Salene replied, frowning. “Why do you ask?”

  “I need to talk to them.”

  Salene nodded, dropping her eyes to the desk in front of her for just a moment. “That won’t be a problem.”

  “What’s going on, Salene?” Vari asked, hearing the tears hidden in her lifelong friend’s voice even though she doubted anyone else would be able to. “Why are you so sad?”

  “It’s nothing to worry about, Vari,” Salene said, not bothering to deny Vari’s conclusion. She stretched her lips in a smile that didn’t fool Vari any more than her words had. “You’ve had enough to deal with recently. Which reminds me, congratulations on saving the Leaper. I’m so proud of you.”

  “Thanks, Salene, but I didn’t do it alone,” Vari said. “Without the Dracon-Bats, I doubt we’d have succeeded. Now please, tell me what’s going on with you.”

  “Has anyone ever told you that you’re pushy?”

  “No, I don’t think so,” Vari replied deadpan. “Pandora says I’m not as nice as I used to be though, if that helps.”

  “It helps,” Salene said with a reluctant smile. Seeing the expression on Vari’s face, she gave up. “Fine fine fine. Stop twisting my arm. I’ll spill it.”

  “Good.”

  “You know about Kinah, and what the Doftles and the Xanti did there.”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “We know that there are few Kinahns left because of the virus the Xanti released, and that very few of those still living are female. The Kinahns are facing extinction, to put it bluntly. Because of our own history, we couldn’t just let that happen.

  “Doc and the Tigrens were able to successfully reverse whatever the Doftles did to sterilize the Kinahn prisoners. Since then, we’ve been working with ICARUS on a plan to find Kinah, and take the women home.

  “While I was attempting to locate the Kinahn women we freed from the first storage planet, I discovered Nia’s name on a survivor list. Do you remember me telling you about her? She’s the woman who used astral projection to help us when we were on the storage planet.”

  “Yes, I remember,” Vari said. “I thought she was killed.”

  “So did we. She was found in the rubble of one of the silos that the Nomen attacked before help could reach it. Her injuries were severe, but she was alive so they put her in a healing tank. I was so excited to find her, and not just because she helped us. Of all the surviving Kinahn women we’ve rescued so far, Nia is the only one who knows how to find their home world.”

  “Why only her?”

  “Because she’s the only one capable of astral projection. She spent centuries projecting herself out into the stars in search of Kinah. Even so, it’s something of a miracle that she found it. With Nia’s help, the probability of successfully finding Kinah went from very slim to nearly certain.

  “I contacted Nica and she collected the Kinahn women from the first storage planet, and Nia’s healing tank, and brought them here, to Jasan. They arrived three days ago and the news isn’t good.”

  “Nia died?” Vari asked.

  “No, not yet, but she will,” Salene said sadly. “Doc’s done everything he can, and so has Jareth. Yesterday morning the Tigrens came over from Berria and did what they could too, which wasn’t much.”

  “I don’t understand, Salene. Those are the strongest and most powerful healers we have. Why can’t they help her?”

&nb
sp; “There’s just too much damage,” Salene said. “So much, in fact, that Doc says they shouldn’t have put her in a healing tank in the first place.

  “To make things worse, healing tanks weren’t designed for Kinahn biology. It’s been keeping her alive, but no more than that, and Doc says her condition is deteriorating.”

  “Is there nothing that can be done?”

  “Nothing we haven’t already tried,” Salene said. “Aunt Glory spoke with her in a Dream Walk yesterday. We were hoping that Nia could give her directions to Kinah, or point us in the right direction, or something. Anything.”

  “Good idea. Did she learn anything helpful?”

  “Unfortunately, no. Kinah is a pre-technological world, so Nia knows nothing of stars, or planets, or galaxies. She told Aunt Glory that if she could see where she’s going, she could find it, but she doesn’t have any idea how to go about explaining to someone how to get there.”

  “What if Aunt Glory shows her star maps with images of star and planet formations. Maybe she’d see something familiar.”

  “Yes, we thought of that, but there’re two problems. The first is that Aunt Glory would have to memorize the maps and images in order to recreate them in a dream walk.”

  “Yeah, I didn’t think of that,” Vari said. “What’s the other problem?”

  “Time,” Salene said. “Nia just doesn’t have very much left. Certainly not enough for Aunt Glory to memorize a multitude of maps.”

  “Rajne, Salene, I’m so sorry,” Vari said. “What’s the plan now? Are you giving up?”

  “No,” Salene replied. “We can’t give up on an entire race if there’s even the smallest chance of saving them. We just have to go back to the first plan which, to be honest, isn’t all that great.”

  “What’s the first plan?”

  “To send one ship, with the women we’ve freed so far, in search of Kinah. ICARUS doesn’t have a vessel capable of a journey such as that would be, though. My Dads said that our cousins, the Dracon-Bats, and their ship, the Bihotza, would have the best chance of succeeding, though they didn’t tell me why.”