Vari's Choices

by Laura Jo Phillips

  "Don’t worry, Declan, I will," Jackson said. “On that you need have no worry.”

  “Come on Pandora,” Vari said. Pandora left Kai’s shoulder and landed on Vari’s.

  “Ready?” Jackson asked. Both Vari and Pandora nodded, then waved at the Dracon-Bats as Jackson placed one hand on Vari's shoulder and stepped sideways. Between one breath and the next Vari found herself standing in the Garrison Clinic waiting room on Dracon Ranch. “If you’ll wait here a moment, I’ll get Glory.”

  “Okay,” Vari said. Jackson put her bags down and left the reception area. She barely had time to get nervous before Glory Tigren was there, crossing the room toward her. Vari saw her arms start to go up, then fall back to her sides, and smiled before stepping forward and hugging Glory tightly, causing Pandora to leap up and hover nearby to avoid being squished.

  “This is wonderful news,” Glory said, returning the hug. “I’m going to ask you all about it when this is over.”

  Vari stepped back. “And I’ll tell you, too, Aunt Glory. How’s Nia?”

  “Would you mind if we went outside?” Glory asked. “I’d like some fresh air.”

  “As would I,” Vari agreed. Pandora settled down on her shoulder again and greeted Glory. Leaving her bags where Jackson had put them, they left the clinic and stepped outside, all three of them taking a moment to just breathe. “Shall we walk, Aunt Glory?”

  “I’d love to, but no. I must remain close. To answer your question, Nia is fading fast. Happily, she feels no pain.”

  “I’m glad of that much. What’s she like?”

  “She’s very gentle, very sweet, and very kind. The worst I can say about her is that she’s a bit too polite. Getting her to stop bowing can be a bit of a job.”

  Vari smiled. “I remember Salene telling me that about her.” Her smile faded and she took a deep breath before turning to look into Glory’s bronze metallic eyes. “I know this was my idea, and I’m not backing out. But I’m afraid, Aunt Glory.”

  “Of course you are. I’d like to tell you there’s nothing to be afraid of, but I can’t because I don’t know if that’s true or not.”

  “You’d do this without a second thought if you were in my place, wouldn’t you?”

  “I’m not sure that I would,” Glory said, tilting her face up toward the sun. “You’re risking everything for the sake of people you’ve never met and know nothing about. On top of that, the only time you ever used this particular ability you were severely traumatized by it. In your place, I would find it a very difficult decision to make.”

  Vari suddenly ached to tell Glory everything about the Doftles, and the Colony, and why she was doing this. But she couldn’t. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust her, because she did. But they’d all agreed to keep everything about the Colony secret and besides, they were standing out in the open, which wasn’t the least bit secure. She thought for a few moments, then looked at Glory with a little smile.

  “I think that, if you had the same reasons and incentives that I have right now, you’d do it, Aunt Glory. Even if you were scared, you’d do it because you’d know that not doing it was a whole lot scarier.”

  Glory turned her face from the sun and studied Vari for a long moment. “Thank you, Vari.” Vari dipped her head in a slow nod, glad that Glory understood.

  “Can you tell me what it is that frightens you about doing this?” Glory asked.

  “Knowing that I may go completely insane before we can even find Kinah.”

  “You think you’ll go insane?”

  “If what happened before repeats itself, it’s a possibility. But I still have to do this.”

  Glory nodded. “You’re no longer a child, Vari. You’re a strong, intelligent, determined, and courageous woman. Remember that.”

  “I will, Aunt Glory, I promise.”

  “Good,” Glory said with a smile. “Now, tell me what I can do to help you.”

  Vari closed her eyes and breathed in, filling her lungs with the familiar scents of home. When she opened her eyes she met Glory’s gaze steadily. “I need you to take me to Nia.”

  Glory nodded, started to put one arm across Vari’s shoulders, hesitated, then grinned when she remembered it was okay now. She put her arm around Vari, mindful of Pandora, and hugged her quickly before leading her back into the clinic, across the waiting room, and up the corridor.

  They stopped at a door which Glory opened without knocking. Vari stepped inside and felt tears spring to her eyes at the sight of the big, ugly healing tank that dominated the room, and a wooden, straight back chair beside it.

  “Do you want me to leave?” Glory asked.

  “If you don’t mind, Aunt Glory, I’d really like you to stay,” Vari said, her heart starting to pound as she watched a blurry, pale shadow begin to take shape in the air above the tank. It shifted and grew as it drifted away from the tank until it was directly in front of Vari and Glory.

  A few moments later the shadow coalesced into a fully formed, beautiful woman. Nearly as tall as Vari, Nia had a thin face, high slanted brows, and large dark blue eyes with elliptical pupils. Her dark brown hair was long and curly, and she wore an ankle length cream colored dress that seemed to float around her. She was also nearly transparent, as were all shadow people.

  Nia looked around nervously, her eyes wide and glossy with fear. That, more than anything else, helped Vari to set her own feelings aside.

  “It’s all right, Nia,” she said gently, ignoring the electronic alarms now coming from the tank. “I’m sure you’re a little confused right now. I know I would be.”

  “You are Varia Lobo?” Nia asked nervously.

  “Yes, I am, but please call me Vari. How do you feel?”

  “I feel nothing. Is that normal?”

  “I’m sorry Nia but I honestly don’t know. I would imagine that it is though, logically speaking.”

  Nia appeared to think about that a moment. “Yes, I agree. When I travelled as Nomad I did not feel either. This is not so different.” Nia pressed her palms together and bowed, her expression solemn. “I cannot tell you what it means to me to have this chance to save what is left of my people, Vari. No matter what may come, I would take this opportunity to thank you, and to tell you how grateful I am.”

  Vari blushed. “You’re welcome, of course, but it’s not only me, Nia. There are many Clan Jasani lending effort to this endeavor. I’m just the one who can see and hear you.”

  Vari saw movement out of the corner of her eye but she kept her attention on Nia, who was frowning now. “What’s the matter?”

  “I feel…pulled,” she replied, a note of fear creeping into her voice.

  “Pulled how?”

  “I’m not sure,” Nia replied. “I feel as though there’s somewhere I must go.”

  “I don’t know anything about what’s happening to you, Nia,” Vari said. “But something tells me that you shouldn’t try to fight it.”

  “What if I can’t return to you?”

  “If that’s the case, then what we plan to do was not meant to be.”

  “I hope you’re wrong, Vari, but I have to agree with you.”

  “Why don’t you go, then try to return. I’ll wait right here.”

  “All right.” Nia hesitated, then said. “I’m scared, Vari.”

  “So am I, Nia. But we can’t let that stop us from doing what we believe to be right.” Nia nodded, pressed her hands together and bowed again. Then she vanished.

  Vari released a breath of relief before turning to see what all the commotion was about. The alarms had stopped, and Doc was standing beside the healing tank pressing buttons on a panel.

  “I don’t have to ask if that worked,” Glory said while she, too, watched Doc. Vari shook her head slightly, not understanding. Glory shrugged. “Either it worked or you were talking to thin air.”

  “Of course,” Vari said. “Sorry. I guess my brain’s on overload at the moment.”

  “Perfectly understandable.” They fell sile
nt when they heard a loud click, then a hissing sound as the top of the healing tank popped open a couple of inches. Doc raised the lid all the way up and Vari stepped closer to take a quick peek inside.

  “Bless the Creators,” she gasped. “How did you manage to keep her alive at all?”

  “It wasn’t easy,” Doc said. “And I didn’t really want to. She could never have lived with such injuries and it seemed cruel not to let her go.”

  “She asked you to do it, Doc,” Glory reminded gently.

  Doc nodded. “I know, and I agreed because I understand how many lives were at stake. But I’m glad it’s over.” He looked at Vari. “It worked?”

  Vari glanced to her left where Nia had just reappeared. “Yes, Doc, it worked. I can see Nia and speak with her.”

  “It helps to know it wasn’t all for nothing.”

  “It really wasn’t Doc,” Vari said solemnly. “I can promise you that much.”

  “Vari, I must leave for a time,” Nia said. “It’s my understanding that I will be able to return to you when I want to.”

  “You’ll be able to find me wherever I go?”

  “Yes, I understand that much now, at least.” For the first time she looked at the hibernation tank, then Doc, and finally, Glory. “Please give my deepest thanks to Doc and Glory. I will carry their sacrifice, their tears, and their compassion within my heart forever.” Vari nodded and waited for Nia to vanish again.

  She swallowed hard before repeating Nia’s words to Doc and Glory. Her voice was thick, but she managed to hold the tears at bay. Then she walked around the tank to give Doc a hug. “I promise that I will do all that I can to find Kinah, and see to it that the sacrifices you two have made were not in vain."

  "We know you will Vari," Doc said. "Just don't forget we want you back here after.”

  “Is Nia still here?” Glory asked.

  “No, she had to go somewhere else but she said she’d be able to return when she wanted, and that she’d have no trouble finding me.”

  “That’s an enormous relief. Come, let’s get out of this room.”

  “Excellent idea,” Vari said. When they were back in the waiting room she picked up her bags then turned to face Glory. “Now what?”

  “I think that’s up to you,” she said just as Jackson Bearen joined them in the waiting room.

  “It’s over?” he asked.

  “Yes, thankfully,” Glory said tiredly.

  “I think you should go rest now,” Vari said, then hugged her again. “I love you, Aunt Glory,” she whispered before releasing her.

  “I love you too, Vari.”

  “Shall I take you home?” Jackson asked.

  “That’s not necessary, Jackson. My Rami will be here in a few minutes.”

  Jackson nodded, then looked down at Vari. “Where would you like to go?”

  “Home, but I can walk from here.”

  “I’m sure you can, but I’ll take you anyway,” Jackson said.

  ***

  Vari opened the front door and called out before dropping her bags in the foyer. A moment later she heard rushing feet, then Bean skidded to a stop in front of her. “Ata, Dede and Popi sent us a vid saying you can touch people now. Is that right?”

  Vari could only grin, but it was enough. Bean squealed as she leapt forward and hugged her so tightly she couldn’t breathe. Once again Pandora was forced to dart out of the way to avoid being knocked off, but she didn’t mind a bit.

  “This is so wonderful,” Bean said with tears in her voice.

  “It is,” Vari agreed, squeezing back. The second Bean released her, Saige stepped forward and wrapped her arms around her, holding on for a long time.

  “I’m okay, Mom,” she said softly.

  “I’m not,” Saige said, releasing her with a sigh. “I love that I can finally hug you again, but I hate not knowing how long you’ll be gone.”

  “I know Mom, and I’m sorry. But I have to do this.”

  “Nia?” Bean asked.

  “It’s over, and it worked,” Vari said.

  “That’s good news,” Saige said. “No extra visitors?”

  “No, not so far.”

  “Good, then it seems as though Nia is keeping her promise.”

  “Promise?” Vari asked. “What promise?”

  “When I learned what you meant to do, I went to Glory and asked her to take me on a Dream Walk with her and Nia. I didn’t tell Nia everything, I just explained how important it was for her not to broadcast the fact that you can see shadow people. She promised that she wouldn’t.”

  Vari shook her head, but couldn’t fault her mother for trying to protect her. “For what it’s worth, Nia strikes me as the kind of person who would never break her word for any reason.”

  “I thought so too,” Saige said, eyeing her bags. "Are you staying here or with your Rami?"

  "With them," Vari said. "But they're not my Rami."

  Saige looked at her in shock, then instantly realized her meaning. "You can't soul-link yet?"

  "No," Vari said. “Not yet. But one day.”

  "I don't understand," Bean said. "Women who are soul linked don't lose their abilities. If anything they get stronger."

  "That's not the problem, Bean. There are other matters to consider. Very important matters that can’t be discussed just yet."

  Bean opened her mouth but Saige stopped her with a gentle hand on her shoulder. “Vari is bound by oaths that cannot be broken, Bean. One day she’ll be able to tell us everything. But today is not that day.”

  “I’m sorry, Vari,” Bean said. “And I understand. Well, I understand that I can’t understand because you can’t explain.”

  Vari laughed. “I missed you, Bean,” she said, hugging her baby sister again just because she could. “And no apology is necessary.”

  Saige put her arm around Vari’s shoulders just as Glory had done, then guided her through the house. “We’ve known you were coming for a few days, Vari, and we know how you feel about packing and shopping. So, Bean and I’ve been busy getting things ready for you.”

  “Really?” Vari asked in surprise.

  “Of course really,” Bean said, nudging her shoulder as they trooped down the hall. “We wanted to help, and it was the only thing we could think of. It was a lot of fun, actually. We bought lots of new clothes for you, and a big supply of your favorite toiletries and makeup.”

  “Clothes?” Vari asked doubtfully. Her taste was a little less girly than her sister’s.

  “Don’t worry,” Saige said. “We put everything in the guestroom so you can approve or disapprove of our choices. Just be honest, okay? There’s no sense in hauling stuff you won’t use.”

  Saige opened the guestroom door and stepped inside. “We went into your closet and took images of your clothes and shoes and toiletries, and we purchased the same styles and colors. We guessed on a few things here and there, but hopefully the majority of what we bought will work.”

  Vari stared in surprise at the sheer number of items that were sorted, folded and stacked around the room. “Did you go a little overboard?” she asked faintly.

  “No,” Saige said. “Let’s start with the kevlex.”

  “All right,” Vari agreed. Two hours later she’d approved of most of the clothing they’d purchased.

  It wasn’t until they got to a rack holding blouses, skirts, and dresses that the trouble began. She liked to wear skirts and dresses on occasion, but most of the items on the rack were too frilly and fussy for her tastes. She went through them one by one and selected a few, refusing to let herself be talked into anything with bows, ruffles, or flowers.

  As she approved items Bean packed them into several lightweight, collapsible trunks. Vari wondered if her sister would sneak a few things in that she’d refused, and decided it didn’t matter. If she didn’t like it, she didn’t have to wear it just because it ended up in a trunk.

  The toiletries and make-up were easy, and Vari was particularly pleased to see a big supp
ly of light block included. There were ten sets of psionic jammers in a small protective case and, most surprising of all, two sets of dairi.

  “Wow,” she said, “you thought of everything.”

  “We tried to,” Saige said. “The reason we wanted to go through all of this with you right away is so you’d have at least a little time to think of anything we missed.”

  “It’s kind of hard to imagine you missed anything,” Vari said, looking at the packed trunks. “But I’ll think about it.”

  “Are we done?” Bean asked, looking around the room.

  “Yes, we are,” Saige said. “All of this will be taken to the Bihotza in the next couple of days.”

  “Thank you Mom, and you too, Bean. I was dreading the idea of doing all of this.”

  “You’re welcome, Vari,” Bean said, hugging her again. “To be honest though, it was just really great to have something to do. We’ve been going a little crazy here waiting for news all the time. Especially since we can only get a little information here and there because of security.”

  “I’m sorry it was so difficult,” Vari said sympathetically. “Unless house security is off, I can probably tell you some of what you want to know.”

  Once again Saige put an arm around her eldest daughter’s shoulders. It felt so good to hold her after so many years that she really didn’t want to let go. “Good, because we’ve got tons of questions to hit you with over lunch.”

  “All right, but first, how’s Tani? Did she have the baby yet?”

  “No, she hasn’t had the baby, but she’s not due for a couple more weeks. She’s doing very well though.”

  “Oh Mom, please tell me you didn’t come home just for me?”

  “Why wouldn’t I?” Saige asked in surprise. “You’re my daughter, Vari.”

  “I know, but I’m fine, and I know you and Aunt Lari wanted to be there with Tani when her son is born.”

  “Lariah is still there, and I’m here because I wanted to be,” Saige said. “Now, tell me about the Dracon-Bats.”