Vital

by Jamie Magee

  I held his dark stare, wanting to blame him for the moment I couldn’t get over. I took in a deep breath, not wanting to argue with him right then, and started to walk to the opening.

  The rings were barely spinning. The light from the room was coming from torches lit in every corner.

  Alamos and August were at the edge of the water, quietly discussing the rings as they watched them. Marc, Stella, and Brady were against the wall near the entrance. I thought about looking down, avoiding their eyes, but I didn’t; I did what my father said and held my head high. I smiled slightly at Stella, and she responded with the innocent, beaming smile she was known for.

  Alamos looked over his shoulder at Drake and shook his head. “You froze time again, didn’t you?” he asked, moving his eyes between Drake and Landen.

  Drake nodded once and crossed his arms across his chest, unconcerned with Alamos.

  “I hope it was worth it; there’s no telling what day they think it is now,” Alamos complained, sighing and looking at me.

  “Did something happen?” Brady asked, walking to us.

  Landen just stared at him, silently begging him to drop it; he didn’t understand what had caused my fury, and he wasn’t going to let them force me to explain.

  “Well,” August said, trying to break the tension, “Stella, can you come here, please?”

  Stella smiled and started to take slow steps toward the rings that were in the center of the pool.

  “Stella has an interesting bloodline,” August said into the echo of the room.

  The look on Alamos’ face was placid, telling me he already knew what her father and everyone before him did. I would imagine he’d worked side by side with the first in her line: Tyless.

  “Talking about it in passing today seems to have caused this rubble to rise,” August said as his voice echoed against the stone walls. “I find that fascinating,” he said boldly, looking from Stella to the rings. “I wonder if they know she’s here, that their keeper is in this room.”

  We all started to walk behind Stella. I wasn’t going to let her wade through the pool of black water; I couldn’t imagine how deep it was – or what could be in it. August held his hand up to tell us to stop, then stepped back from the edge of the pool. Alamos followed his lead. Stella courageously walked to the edge and extended her left hand, as if to beckon the rings to come closer; at her command, they began to drift in her direction. I felt the nervous anticipation of Marc as he took one step closer to her.

  It was like these rings were alive. It felt like I was watching a massive animal come at its master’s command; it was one of the most elegant displays of power I’d ever witnessed.

  Once the rings reached her, they turned to their side, and the point that connected them was just before her. As she let her hand rest at that juncture, I could feel the power, the absolute awe race through her. As her fingers slid into the dark circle at the core of the connection, she didn’t make a face or squint as whatever it was pricked her finger; she just bowed, then took one step back.

  The rings slowly glided back to the center of the pool, then changed direction, spinning the opposite way as before. I felt the wind of their movement, and the violent energy I’d felt before was absent; I only felt the breath of second chance all around me.

  I stared with the others, feeling grateful for Stella, for whatever these rings would bring me - then suddenly without warning, everything around me turned white, blinding white. I balled my hands in a fist, prepared for pain. I thought the rings had caused a passageway to open where I was standing and that I was now in the string – and Landen wasn’t. Sure that agony was about to attack me, I had to fight the panic that was sure to rage assault.

  Instantly, the glow vanished, and I found myself standing on my front porch.

  I frantically looked all around me. I stretched out my emotions to search for Landen – for anyone - fearing that this was an illusion.

  A few butterflies were surrounding me, but most of them were lined up on the porch, facing the field. The wings of each beautiful creature came together and apart in unison; it was as if they were one being.

  Suddenly, I felt someone; panic, fear, rage, a heart breaking. I looked up and saw Clarissa running from the passage. It was an instant replay of what had happened earlier that afternoon. I started to run down the steps, but I stopped myself when I reached the yard. I knew if I ran to her, knowing what I know now, we would fight. She didn’t want to talk to me; she wanted to run, and I let her. I stood still and watched her run as fast as she could to her mother’s house.

  Once she was out of sight, the butterflies - hundreds of them - fluttered in front of me, then flew past me. At that moment, I was back, standing in front of the looking glass. I felt the fear, worry, and anticipation from everyone around me. Landen’s arm pulled me closer to him, then he reached to lift my chin up and tried to get me to focus on him.

  “What happened? Where you did go?!” he asked urgently.

  “Home,” I said breathlessly, wanting to ask him if he remembered me having a fight with Clarissa.

  I glanced to my side, but I didn’t see a passage.

  “I told you this was a horrible idea,” Alamos said in an angry tone, walking to my side. He looked into my eyes like he was looking for some damage.

  “Do you see a passage?” I asked Landen, stepping back to make sure I wasn’t in the center of it.

  “No. No passage. A light just absorbed you, you were gone, then a second later you were back. I didn’t even have a chance to panic, to comprehend that you’d left.”

  Can we talk about this at home? I thought, wanting to leave before I forgot what happened. I had to know what he remembered.

  “We’re leaving,” Landen said aloud, then looked at Brady and said, “Block this corridor. I don’t want anyone down here.”

  I glanced at everyone, then looked at Drake. “I’ll see you all tomorrow, right? Will there be anyone to take?”

  He slowly moved his head from side to side as sorrow grew in his eyes. “If we wait a day or so, maybe we can find more; they’re just scared. I’ll be here tomorrow. Just tell me when.”

  “We should be here all day,” Landen answered for me. As he started to pull me through the corridor, I waved my arm behind me, catching Stella’s eyes. I nodded to tell her good job, that I was proud of her. A smile beamed across her face, and her instinct was to bow, but I shook my head as I turned to leave. I wanted to get the idea of Esterious out of her; that childlike honor she had for the simplest things was just as good as it was bad.

  We didn’t say a word as we walked across the palace back to the entry hall that was once Drake’s room. I felt Landen debate saying goodbye to our dads, to check on Dane. He decided against it as we got closer. I couldn’t even feel Dane anymore; I hoped he was gone, that he’d be waiting for us in Chara, wanting Landen to heal him.

  I started to say something as we stepped in the string, but Landen looked down and shook his head no. We walked so fast, we might as well have run. The rings hadn’t impacted the energy in the string. If anything, they seemed to make it calmer; you could barely feel the wave of energy that we always walked through. Once inside of Chara, I took a deep breath and looked up at him.

  “Do you remember me having a fight with Clarissa?”

  He nodded to confirm.

  I felt an emptiness absorb me; I didn’t know what it was, but it wasn’t a second chance.

  “I remember you not having one, too,” he said, slightly amused as his eyes danced across my now hopeful expression.

  “Really?”

  “I didn’t focus on it until you asked. I still remember the fight, but I also remember picking you up at the house, seeing you were upset, and telling Brady I’d drive our Jeep to the passage.”

  I looked to my side, and in the darkness I saw Brady and Marc’s Jeeps, with ours behind them. A smiled beamed across my face. “Do you think I avoided it? What else do you remember?”

  �
��You told me you’d seen Clarissa upset and that you thought they had a fight. In the string, when Brady and Marc asked him where she was, he snapped and told them it was none of their business. Everything else played out the same; Marc gave him his speech about family, and after that man was led away, Drake was healed. You talked to him while I led Beth.”

  “I don’t understand...do you realize how weird it is for you to tell me what I did? I only remember the way it happened, and then that light letting her run – not stopping her.”

  “Maybe this is what that book was talking about, the rings teaching you how to use them.”

  “It should have gone back to the beginning of the day. I would have just stayed in bed,” I said with a smirk on my face.

  “Are you gonna tell me what happened? Did you have a good walk with your dad?”

  I looked past him into the dark field. I wanted to ask him why he confided in my dad about me, but I didn’t want to fight.

  “Good walk...let’s just go home,” I said quietly.

  I felt his frustration with me; he knew I was hiding something from him. I walked to the passenger seat of the Jeep and slid in. When he got in, I looked to my side at him. “I promise I’ll tell you. I just want to talk to Clarissa first. I’m gonna try to call her when we get home.”

  His eyes held a betrayal; he didn’t understand why I was building walls between us. “I can help you with it,” he said quietly as we drove.

  “It’s gonna make you mad, and you won’t take the time to figure out the reason behind it; I will.”

  “Did he hurt her?” he asked, tightening his jaw, trying to push down his anger so I wouldn’t feel it and grow more determined not to tell him.

  “I think that was obvious when we saw her today,” I answered quietly.

  “Did he hurt you?”

  “Yeah, but he’s the one in pain now,” I said as I stretched out my senses, hoping I’d feel him there; I didn’t, but I did feel someone in pain, and I was almost sure it was Clarissa. As the lights of the Jeep landed on our porch, I saw her sitting in one of chairs, staring blankly forward.

  “No need to call,” Landen said under his breath. He parked the Jeep in front of the house, and I opened my door, staring at her. She didn’t move; it was like she was in a trance.

  “I want to talk to her on my own. I’m sure your hungry; why don’t you see if you can find us some dinner?”

  He sighed. “I’ll go to Nyla’s. Maybe if August comes home soon, I can talk to him about what happened with that light.”

  As I leaned back into the Jeep, he leaned forward and kissed me tenderly, suppressing the passion we’d yet to find the time to release that day. “Take your time,” I said, pulling away. “I’m just gonna let her talk when she wants to, and I’m gonna listen.”

  His eyes looked deep into mine, and I saw a glimmer of hope there. “Your dad must have gotten through to you.”

  I held my head up high, mocking the gesture. He laughed quietly, then pulled me to him for one more kiss.

  I love you, he thought.

  Love you, I thought, smiling.

  Chapter Eight

  I walked slowly up the front steps as Landen drove away. Clarissa didn’t look up at me; she just stared forward. I felt my heart breaking for her.

  “It’s chilly,” I said as I went to her side. “Will you come in with me?” I asked softly.

  I reached for her hand and sent what calm I could manage through her; it was enough to break her out of whatever thought she was in.

  “Come on,” I said, pulling her up.

  I put my arm around her; she was so cold. I opened the front door and led her to living room, where I urged her to sit down, then wrapped a blanket around her. I turned on the small lamp by the table so I could see her more clearly.

  “Do you want something to drink? Something warm?” I asked.

  She started to cry uncontrollably. I sat down next to her, pulled her to my shoulder, and rocked her back and forth. She cried so long and so hard that I didn’t think it was possible for her to have a single tear left in her body. As her tears finally started to end, she took in a deep breath. I tightened my arms around her.

  “I’ve disgraced this family,” she whispered in a broken voice.

  “No,” I promised.

  She nodded against my shoulder. “Our family doesn’t make mistakes when it comes to finding our soul mates; I’m the first one – the only one.”

  “It’s a fight, not a mistake,” I said quietly, trying to hide the doubt in my tone, as well as the images of Dane and that girl and the idea of what Landen would do to him the moment he found out.

  She leaned back against the corner of the couch and pulled her legs to her, hiding under the blanket I’d wrapped around her. “It was just too perfect, the timing of it all; the devil tricked me, used my desire to match Landen’s happiness.”

  “I’ve been told more than once by all of you that there’s a reason for everything,” I mumbled, trying to reassure her.

  She moved her head slowly from side to side. “I keep trying to understand how I could be so blind, how I could have mistaken that emotion. Looking back...we only really talked about you.”

  “There was a lot going on then. It wasn’t me; it was everything,” I suggested, hoping I was right.

  “I used to think that. I even remember him telling me to stop talking about you, that you were strong and Landen would make sure you were safe, that we had our own lives to live...maybe if I’d listened to him then, I could have played the fool longer - but now, in the middle of all this...I’m gonna have to tell my dad, my brothers, that I was wrong, that I don’t love him – that right now I can’t remember when I did because I’m just too mad.”

  My eyes glassed over as I pondered the fear that she felt. “You’re mad, and when you’re mad it’s hard to think, to remember.”

  She rubbed her hands across her face to dry her tears. Her eyes were red and swollen; she didn’t look like herself at all.

  “When did this start?” I asked quietly.

  “I don’t know,” she answered, staring forward. “Maybe when you came back from Venus. It was awkward at first, but I thought it was just the stress of being around Drake. The night before you moved that wall, he didn’t sleep; he stayed up. He even made me take him back to Esterious. As we walked those dark streets, the cries from the other side of the wall made me cringe. I had to force him to come home; he kept telling me he couldn’t breathe here. I left him in the string and went home, and he was there when I woke up. He told me that he knew that Drake was gonna convince you to let him use your power, that the devil would invade Drake at that moment and you’d be taken for good. I tried to tell him he was insane, that this was over, but he didn’t care. When I saw Drake lead you down that hall, I saw Dane’s fears coming to life, so I told him to take you and run when you came back.”

  She tilted her head as if she were watching it all play out again. “I don’t know why I didn’t think that you’d be able to stop him. I guess I was just so terrified that he basically predicted what would happen next.” She sighed, then continued. “When we left, I wanted to go anywhere but Chara or Esterious. I had endless places in mind, but he stopped in the string right in front of Armtames, telling me to go there. I argued, but he stepped through without me. I was afraid he’d be hurt; I knew that the town was on edge, ready to attack Delen at any moment. We found our way to one of the allies our family has there, and I’d wake up in the middle of the night to find him gone. I even went looking for him once. I was almost caught by one of the priests, but this woman pulled me into her home just in time.”

  I swallowed hard, pushing down the anger I had for Dane at that moment. I wanted to know if this woman was the same woman I’d seen him with, but I didn’t want to stop her; I wanted to listen.

  “She’s breathtaking, Willow; absolutely seductive. I had a hard time believing she was a part of that world. She had a way of making you talk to her; she was s
o calm. She told me she knew I was a traveler and that she’d seen me look for the one they call Willow.”

  I tilted my head. “Who’s side is she on?” I asked bleakly.

  “I’m not sure anymore. She said she was on yours, and she told me about these meetings that were being held in secret, that they were gonna take you, place you in a moment where you’d have to choose Drake. She said that I should go so I could go home and warn you, show you who they were because they were slowly entering Delen, acting as if they were lost refugees.” She shook her head from side to side. “I was too scared to go, so I told Dane to – and they posed as a couple. From a distance, I watched them, how she’d look at him, the way she’d brush up against him. Even in a crowded room, in front of priests, you could see the lust she had for him. When I talked to him about it, he tried to fight about it. He told me I was insane, that he was just doing what I told him to and that others were watching; if they didn’t act like that, he would be killed.”

  I moved closer to her so I could put my arm around her.

  “I believed him at first, and I felt guilty for putting him in danger. I blamed myself for it, but then I woke up this morning and realized that this was wrong, so wrong that it made me sick to my stomach. I told him we needed to go, and I pulled him all the way here, but he said he couldn’t breathe, then left to go back. I caught up with him and told him that we knew enough and that what we didn’t know, we could figure out with our family. He was furious, and he started saying that I must not love him, that I was jealous of you, that I wanted to see you die, that my foolish thoughts had pushed me there – and that I should be ashamed of having such a horrible mind. I don’t even remember what I said. I screamed at him, not caring that anyone would hear us, then I ran – I ran like hell. I have this awful fear that he’s in jail somewhere, that they heard us argue and came for him. The only thing keeping me here is knowing that Drake won’t kill him without your consent.”

  I glanced away, silently telling her that I’d seen him.

  “You saw him?” she asked, sitting up a little straighter.