Vital

by Jamie Magee

  I couldn’t understand why he kept acting like this was my insight; it was hers. Was he telling me this so I’d calm down? So I could be closer to her?

  “Listen, I’ve become a master at hiding my emotions – trust me,” I said as I thought of all the fights doing just that had caused between me and Landen.

  Nathaniel’s eyes grew curious. “Do you think pushing them down is the right thing to do? That an insight this powerful should be deep in one’s soul?”

  I gritted my teeth as I did just what I’d always done: pushed down the anger that was surfacing in my soul. “It’s not my insight, it’s hers – so what’s the big deal? I’ve managed well so far with the way I hide my emotions.”

  “Have you?” he asked in an amused tone.

  “Do I know you?” I asked before I could stop myself. “I mean, you look familiar to me...you feel familiar to me.”

  As his eyes smiled, he looked younger for a split second, but I still couldn’t grasp who he was or who he reminded me of; I was too focused on finding that girl.

  “When you have control over your emotions, when you learn not to push them down and not allow them to fester deep in your mind – answers to that question will not escape you.”

  “Listen, that’s deep, and I’m sure they’re wise words - but right now I have a one-track mind,” I said as I started to walk past him. “I’ll be calm. Just let me see her...let me talk to her.”

  He reached for my arm as I passed him and let out a sigh. I felt him fight with the path he was about to take; it was like he wanted to be blunt with me, but he knew I’d never believe him, so he was choosing to play into my wishes. “I’m sure at this moment she’s in pain from the emotion I’ve seen in your eyes, from the reaction of the atmosphere.”

  As I stared in his eyes, I focused on the emotions in the distance. I could feel anger and fear. I could feel the pain he spoke of. I took in a deep breath and let the images of Landen surface in my mind. I imagined that Nathaniel’s pale blue eyes were Landen’s staring back me, that I was home in his arms - that everyone was safe. As the emotion around me shifted to gratitude, Nathaniel smiled at me. “Very good...control...you’re learning,” he said to me.

  “You can feel emotions?” I asked him.

  “You’re so powerful, everyone can feel you” he answered, sighing. “This experience will be challenging.”He looked out at the valley. “Perhaps distance would be best if you want me to tell you more about this new insight...Aella.”

  I nodded once, then he took my hand and led me from the terrace. Once in the wide hallway, I felt the curious stares from the innocent youth all around me. I gripped Nathaniel’s hand and kept my eyes low as he led me further down the hallway that divided the open spaces, then down a wide, winding stone staircase. As people passed by, I’d glance shyly back at them. As they looked to my chest and bowed, I could feel admiration from each of them.

  “Why are they bowing?” I whispered to Nathaniel.

  “We’ve never met someone like you before.”

  I looked curiously up at him. He smiled and squeezed my hand. “You were ascending, and the flower allowed you to stay.”

  The staircase ended, and we were standing before a massive open doorway that led to the valley.

  “Ascending...do you mean dying?”

  He nodded. I struggled to remain calm and not think of the pain that I’d endured before. “I would be dead without this flower?” I asked, reaching for my chest.

  “It’s feeding your heart the illusion that your soul mate is near.”

  “Is he OK? Tell me he isn’t in pain,” I said, unable to hide my fear.

  “What did the Witnesses say to you?”

  “Who are the Witnesses? Do you mean those women?” I asked. He nodded, and my mind moved over the pain and focused on what the woman had said. “She asked me if I wanted to stop the pain for the both of us.”

  I tried to focus on what Landen had told me about Witnesses that day; I had a sick feeling that because they intervened, it may be too late, that I may now be one of them - forevermore separated from Landen.

  “Then if you aren’t in pain, he’s not...nothing is over,” he promised me, as if he could read my thoughts.

  As Nathaniel’s eyes moved above me, I followed his stare. The two women that helped me were passing over a balcony above us. They looked down at me and smiled, then bowed as they passed.

  “That’s a good sign for you,” Nathaniel said as he took my hand and led me through the open doorway.

  “Why is it a good sign?” I asked as we stepped out into the sunlight.

  “If they give you their attention, a smile or a nod - then your time is near,” he answered.

  Excitement radiated through me before I had a chance to control it. “The time to find my passage? Is that what you mean?” I asked. As the words left my lips, the sun grew brighter - so bright that it was blinding; I couldn’t even see Nathaniel at my side.

  I felt his arm go around me, and he quietly whispered into my ear, “I can show you where it is – but that doesn’t mean that it’s time to pass through.”

  My excitement left, and loneliness began to set in. It didn’t matter that the water flower was feeding my heart the illusion that Landen was near; I knew he wasn’t, and my soul yearned to feel his energy. The light of the sun began to dim, and within a matter of seconds it was near dark. I realized then that I was letting my emotions run wild and that Aella was reflecting them. I took in a jagged breath and began to suppress an emotion beyond calm; as I did, the sun resumed its normal beam.

  Nathaniel smiled at me. “Well done,” he said, looking to the sky, still grinning.

  “What do mean you can show me? Do you know what the string is? Are all of you travelers, too?” I asked, struggling to remain calm.

  I could see curiosity in his eyes, but he shielded his emotion as he searched for a way to explain this world to me. “ I know of a string and travelers, but that isn’t the passage that will take you back to the world you came from. You must descend; your only other choice is to ascended and leave this life and begin another in a distant future.”

  “Do you have a twin? All of you here - are they travelers? How do you know that? Have you spoken to him?” I asked, more sure now than ever that I’d seen him before.

  Nathaniel’s eyes smiled, but he never answered me as I looked all around me, trying to grasp where I was. I’m sure my face reflected the utter confusion I was feeling. He took my hand and began to lead me into the valley. “Where are we going?” I asked him.

  “To show you the way you must leave,” he answered. I heard his truth and sighed as I walked at his side. He grinned and shook his head in dismay. “Honestly, I expected you to have more questions about this insight of emotion, to be more in shock about finding yourself here, but you seem to not be shaken by your circumstance.”

  “Nothing surprises me anymore,” I mumbled.

  I heard him laugh under his breath. “That’s an admirable trait; dangerous, but admirable.”

  In the center of the valley, a clear stream weaved through emerald green grass. I could see it leading to the base of a large mountain that seemed to be shielding the place where all the young people lived. With each step, I felt myself fighting with anticipation. I imagined myself returning with Aella, and the expression on Drake’s face when he saw her. I also knew that with the pressure of this trial passing, Dane’s name would be redeemed, that he and Clarissa would find their way back to the love I once felt between them, that everyone would be safe once again. Also, Olivia and I would figure out what that song was that her mother was talking about, as well as if it had anything to do with us.

  The stream we were following began to widen as we walked. I looked behind us, trying to see where it flowed; it seemed to disappear in the distance. I looked forward to the mountain we were walking to searching for its source, but the water seemed to flow through the mountain itself. A familiar emotion pulled me from my thoughts; it
was Landen’s - and he was terrified. I stopped, and as panic began to consume me, thunder rumbled in the distance.

  Nathaniel sighed. “Willow, you must control the emotions you’re feeling.”

  “You don’t understand – something’s wrong. I can feel Landen...he’s scared...this stupid flower isn’t working!” I said, slapping my chest as another rumble of thunder cracked against the mountains. I began to look in every direction for an image of him.

  Understanding came over Nathaniel. “This is my fault; I didn’t prepare you for this,” he said, looking to the stream we were following.

  “Prepare me for what?!”

  “We’ve been following the river of life. What you’re feeling now has already occurred. When we reach the base of the mountain, we’ll be able to see the present – life as it happens.”

  “What do you mean ‘see’?” I asked, stepping closer to the water.

  Nathaniel stopped me before I could look into the flowing water. “Listen to me: you are here, your body is there. Imagine what they’re thinking right now. You know you’re safe, but you cannot project the emotions that they’re feeling. Looking into the reflection of that river may be one of the hardest things you’ve witnessed thus far.”

  A sick feeling consumed me as my worst fears came to light in my terrified eyes. I had seen more agony than any one soul should witness, so what could be so evil in that stream of water? “My body is there? Where do they think I am?” I asked, imagining the grief I must be inflicting on everyone – on Landen.

  “I would imagine that they think you’re gone – or at least very close to being gone.”

  “Oh my God,” I said as the emotion of grief took my breath away.

  The sky grew angry, and beyond Landen’s emotion I could feel undeniable grief all around me.

  “Control, Willow...control,” Nathaniel said over the angry thunder.

  “Control? You can’t ask me to push down the way I feel about my soul mate. If you’d ever felt that kind of love, you’d know it’s impossible.”

  “I’m asking you to trust me, to do what you always do and focus on where you’re going - not where you are.”

  My eyes raced back and forth as I struggled to find my direction. I knew Nathaniel believed what he was saying. It took everything I had, but I found a way to take control of my emotions by thinking of the way I felt when I was one with Landen. I focused on finding that feeling again, on repaying him for the grief that I’d brought to his soul once again. The thunder ended its protest, and the world grew silent as the skies reflected the grey gloom I felt.

  Nathaniel looked up to the sky. “Can you keep your emotion here?” he asked sincerely.

  “I’m only human...I’ll do my best,” I said in a low tone.

  I felt the sympathy he had for me. He nodded his head in the direction of the water. I held my breath and stepped closer. When I looked into the gently flowing clear water, it was obvious why I felt Landen’s terror: my body was lying across the floor of the string. He was on his knees at my side, and Drake was at my other side. I watched as he screamed my name through his thoughts and words. As his hands rushed over every inch of my body, trying to find something to heal, I could see the energy he was pushing into me, feel his soul aching. I saw Drake stare at my closed eyes with an immense amount of empathy for me; I didn’t need to feel him to see the love he had for me. A jagged breath left my lips as I realized what I’d done to them: once again, they’d watched me die...the agony I was having to suppress was overpowering.

  Drake slowly reached his hand for my chest and covered my heart; it was as if he could sense that it was breaking and he wanted to end the pain. Tears pooled in my eyes, but I fought them back, fearing that they’d evoke rain - and the rain would disturb the clear water that was projecting the ones who gave me a reason to live in the first place. As Landen picked up my limp body and began to run, I jogged along the water’s edge, refusing to lose sight of him. I felt Nathaniel eagerly follow me.

  Landen didn’t run to Pelhan’s; he ran to Esterious. He knew my father was there, that everyone that could possibly help me was there.

  Chapter Fifteen

  Landen raced through the passage to the palace and down the hallway that led to Perodine’s study. Drake screamed for Alamos as they ran. The servants they passed scattered to find help for them. When Landen reached the study, he found August and Perodine hovering over the scrolls. When Perodine’s eyes saw my body, grief exploded inside of her, then adrenaline seemed to kick in.

  “Take her to the water – run!” she screamed.

  Landen raced past them and carefully weaved through the doorway. Once in the observatory, he rushed to the pool and threw himself over the edge, holding on to my body for dear life. Once my medallion, my necklace touched the water, it turned to pure white; it almost looked like Landen was holding me in a pool of milk.

  His fear of losing me was clear in his shattered composure. Drake crashed into the water next, and when he reached Landen and my body, he began to flow the water over my face. Perodine dove in the water and reached for my body; she had to struggle to get Landen to release me. Alamos was seconds behind Perodine, then my father made it to my side. Brady and Marc rushed the door of the observatory and dove in the water, then struggled to hold back Landen and Drake as August pushed past them to help Perodine and Alamos.

  Landen fought against Brady’s grip. “Let me go! Tell me what’s wrong so I can heal her! Jason, SPEAK to me!” I knew Landen had the power to easily push Brady away, but his emotions had made him weak; he was falling apart.

  My father looked back at Landen. “Her body is perfect; that’s not what’s wrong,” he said in a horrified tone.

  “Then what’s wrong?!” Drake screamed.

  “Are you sure she’s not meditating? Should you have moved her?!” Brady asked, finally losing his grip on Landen. Landen dove though the water and wrapped his arms around my waist, then buried his face in my neck. I could feel his agony, his anger.

  Alamos waded to the side of the pool, and August followed with the intent to help bring anything that would save me there. Perodine reached for my necklace, which was floating to the surface, and pushed it beneath the water; at that moment, the water became so white that it lit the gray stone walls.

  “She isn’t mediating; her soul is here, but it’s fading,” she said to the room.

  Everyone froze, and the heavy weight of silence filled the room. Drake stopped his struggle against Marc’s hold and fell to his knees in the water.

  I hadn’t noticed, but by following the images in the water, Nathaniel and I had almost reached the base of the mountain. I looked up at him, stunned, too scared to show any emotion; instead, I stood speechless, staring at his innocent face, trying to understand where I was – where these images were. It felt as if my sanity were escaping me. He stepped forward and pulled my stiff body to his. I felt his compassion, and I couldn’t hold back my sea of emotions. I squeezed him, and as the tears fell, the rain began. When the anger for the demon I was chasing surfaced, the wind whipped around us - and when my mind replayed the image of Landen holding my vacant body surfaced, thunder exploded above us.

  “That was then; we haven’t reached now – and you still have control over what will be,” Nathaniel said to me as he pulled me closer.

  I focused on what will be: me spending the rest of my life begging Landen to forgive me for putting him through this.

  Nathaniel put his arm around me and began to lead me closer to the base of the mountain, where I could see an opening in its flawless gray stone. Nathaniel was leading me into a cave, and as we walked, I watched Alamos roll a table with glass sides into the observatory. He was greeted with immediate protest, most aggressively from Drake, who knew instantly what the box’s purpose was. Landen was consumed with grief, but when he felt Drake’s obvious anger and denial, he focused on what Alamos was doing and began to protest just as loudly, if not louder than Drake.

  The
box was just like the one Alamos had placed Adonia in – his daughter that he’d preserved. In his grief, he’d thought that if my soul took her body, he’d have us both once again, and me and Drake would have a way to be together.

  My stomach started to turn as the thought of my body being trapped in time consumed me. My father and August played the part of the peacemakers, convincing Drake and Landen to allow my body to just lay on the satin white pillow, for them to cover my cold body with a silk sheet to keep me warm. The glass sides remained down, and servants brought in stools and placed them beside me for Drake and Landen. A podium was brought in for Alamos. He then placed a large book across the aged wood and began to read random passages from it.

  Just when the room seemed to agree with the trepidation, Dane walked in. He looked at my body, which was growing paler each moment, then looked at Drake. “What did you do to her?” Dane asked in an angry tone.

  Drake had his head down on the pillow next to my body; once he heard Dane’s voice, his head shot up, then he charged across the room at him. Dane was slammed into the wall with Drake’s energy seconds before Drake actually reached him. Once he did, Drake held his arm across his neck with the look of pure hatred burning in his dark eyes. “Where...were...you?” Drake growled through his teeth.

  Landen never looked up from my body. Brady and Marc tried to pull Drake off Dane, but Drake’s energy casually pushed them back.

  “Tell me! The almighty protector of Willow! Where...were...you?!” Drake said again.

  Dane didn’t answer; he just stared back with the same, if not more, hatred. Alamos cautiously walked to Drake, looked over Dane carefully, then let his hand rest on Drake’s shoulder. “This will not bring her back. I would even advise that it’s making what’s left of her soul weak,” Alamos said in a voice just above a whisper.

  Drake’s jaw tightened, then he grabbed Dane’s shirt and pulled him to the doorway that led to the study and pushed him through. “If you pass this threshold, I’ll kill you before anyone has the notion to stop me!”