Legacy of the Mad Mages

by Katherine Kim

  “And you said that the group who jumped you were elves, right?” She asked.

  “Yep. Not aggressive, slogan-shouting thugs like that other group, but yes. They were elves, all of them.” He turned around again and grabbed a couple of mugs from the cupboard.

  “So, what you’re suggesting is that it’s the same group?” Shakes frowned. “I wasn’t an agent yet when you were held last year. I didn’t start till you were already interning, Caroline, so I don’t know the details. Just what the office gossip has referred to.”

  Caroline nodded and Darien scowled.

  “Yeah,” she grimaced but answered him. “It was a mess. Darien was set up by the old chief and sent right into a trap. I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and got kidnapped when they smashed up our town history museum. You can find a lot of the details in the case file if you wanted to look it up. I won’t mind.”

  “It would probably be a smart idea anyway,” Darien added. “Just so you know some of the mess we’ve been sorting out here in the office since then. We’re still cleaning up after that asshole.”

  “But no, I don’t think it’s the same group really,” Caroline finished. “At least not the same sub-group. Those guys were total idiots. The Keystone Cops of elf supremacists, and only got as far as they did because the ex-chief was helping them out. No, they might be related, but they’re not the exact same group.”

  “Besides, most of them are still in prison for a slew of charges, including kidnapping a federal agent.” Darien grinned. He set a steaming mug in front of Caroline.

  “I see what you’re saying, though, I think.” Shakes woke his tablet up and tapped on it a few times. “I’ll look into elf supremacist activity in the area, and also other thefts that might fit this pattern.”

  Darien nodded and glanced at the photos still spread out on the table. “Objects that could be connected to the Mad Mage War. Oh, this is going to be a good time, I can tell.”

  The door creaking open made all three of them look up, startled. Zanna’s head poked through the opening, and Caroline could see Point and another agent behind her.

  “Are you going to share that coffee or just torture the whole office with the new-coffee smell?” she asked.

  8

  “No ma’am, we didn’t catch the thieves, but we do have a good idea of who they are.” Darien’s words were tired but determined. “Yes, ma’am. Of course. Yes, we’re working very hard on this case. Yes. I’m healing nicely and should be cleared by this afternoon, in fact. Thank you for asking. Yes, ma’am. We’ll let you know as soon as we have anything solid.” He dropped the phone into the cradle and slumped back in his chair with a sigh.

  “Ms. Misslethwaite, I presume?” Caroline asked. They were sitting at their desks over fresh coffee and some breakfast sandwiches from the cafe down the street. It had become an office favorite once the dust settled from the poisoning case, and the baristas there still made the best coffee Caroline ever had. They had received a call an hour ago that there had been another theft at the mansion, and when they called Greg to check in he swore that he hadn’t seen anyone at all, and he’d been there all night.

  He was there now, taking statements from the security guard that had discovered the theft and the rest that were on duty overnight. Mitch was probably already there again to see if there were any new clues. Caroline had gotten to spend a fun twenty minutes listening to Greg protesting that there hadn’t been anything bigger than a rabbit near the fence all night, all before she was even fully awake.

  “So what’s gone missing?”

  “That pan balance Shakes pointed out,” Darien groaned. “What the hell do they think they’re going to do with part of a broken pan balance?”

  They both frowned, deep in thought. “What were they going to do with that broken wheel they took from the museum back home?” Caroline asked slowly. She wrinkled up her face. “Maybe we should talk to a mage scholar or a history of magecraft professor or something.”

  “That’s not a bad idea, actually,” Shakes said, coming up behind them with a big basket. “Is Greg around?”

  “Er… not yet, no. He’s still out at the mansion museum.” Caroline peered up at him. “What on earth is that?”

  Shakes put the basket down on the corner of her desk and she looked inside. It was full of bouncy balls and balls of yarn and squeezy, glittery stress balls. Also, nestled in between a ball of sparkly aqua yarn and a net bag of superballs, there was a bright yellow ceramic coffee mug that said Stop Stressing Meow-t on it in glittery cursive blue paint. It was shaped to suggest a cat head, complete with ears on one side of the rim.

  “I felt really bad about upsetting Greg yesterday so I thought I’d go get him a new ball to mess around with because I always see him playing around with one. And, um… I guess I kinda went a little nuts.”

  Caroline blinked at the basket of toys and the mug clearly meant for a cat lover, then blinked back up at Shakes who was chewing on his lower lip and fidgeting with his thumbnail. Darien half stood to look at the selection himself and covered his laugh with a quick, very fake cough.

  “Um, Shakes? That’s a very nice apology, I think. Greg will definitely appreciate the gesture. He’ll lose half those balls by next week, but he’ll enjoy them anyway.”

  “What will I enjoy?”

  Shakes jumped about six inches straight up, almost smacking Greg in the nose.

  “Dude! That would be the second time this week someone whacked me in the face when they jump! What is this, a conspiracy? Is that what you’re over here plotting?” Greg’s glare would have been much more convincing if he wasn’t also trying not to laugh at the same time.

  “Um, no! No. I just, er…. Sorry.” Shakes grabbed the basket and shoved it at Greg. “I’m sorry for being nosy and upsetting you yesterday. It’s none of my business and I was being a jerk and, um. Sorry.” His voice faded off and Caroline had to bite her cheek to keep from laughing. Darien just turned away and hid behind his computer.

  “It’s okay. I hate talking about it, but I did kind of open the door to the questions with my snarky comment, so…. It’s all cool. Oh, wow, this is hilarious!” Greg picked the mug out of the basket. “I should go get some coffee right now. Good grief that museum woman got on my case. I swear to you all, there was nobody there last night! None of the wards tripped, and they’ve been beefed up to a hair-trigger. Any living thing bigger than a squirrel trips them now. We had a wild goose chase last night, chasing after an actual wild goose that set off the ward right after they were activated for the night!” Greg kept grumbling all the way to the hallway, gift basket tucked under his arm and Shakes gazing after him, slightly stunned.

  As soon as Greg disappeared around the corner, Caroline let go of the giggle she had been trying to swallow.

  “You’re kind of adorable when you get flustered, you know?” She giggled again when Shakes turned back to her and blinked a couple of times.

  “Um…” He frowned at Darien when the man chuckled and agreed with Carline’s assessment. “Oh, damn! I meant to tell him that I traced those latest doll parts. Not that it will help them any.” Shakes shook off the mild embarrassment now.

  “Oh yeah? We can let him know. Zanna should be in soon, too,” Caroline settled down a bit, taking Shakes’ hint to drop it.

  “Sure. I’ll email them the report, too, but basically the parts that made up that last enchanted doll were from a Chinese manufacturer and part of a shipment sent to the warehouse of an online retailer. After that, they could have gone anywhere. It’s not like those things have serial numbers to track each sale or anything. I had to run an image comparison to find out exactly which arm and leg and whatever matched the various manufacturers’ stuff. I think I’m officially put off dolls forever.” Shakes shuddered and grimaced. “Creepy.”

  “Yeah, I bet.” Caroline grinned. “Maybe you need a nice, snuggly kitty to play with instead?”

  Shakes started turning bright red and muttered somethin
g about getting back to work before rushing towards the stairs back to his own office.

  “Well, that is somewhat unexpected.” Darien grinned over at her, and she returned the sentiment.

  “He’s cute, though, and he does seem to learn. Does Greg even like guys? Does he date?” Caroline suddenly realized that she’d never even heard of the man meeting someone for coffee. “I mean, even I’ve dated now, and I’m kind of hopeless! Greg’s such a people person!”

  “Greg…” Darien sighed and his face lost its humor. “Greg is, as far as we know, one of a kind. Quite literally. From what I can tell, the agency looked for evidence of other manticores, and have only been able to find some sketchy reports from…”. He frowned, caught off guard by his own train of thought. “Well, from right around the time of the Mad Mages. The only really solid records of manticores are all from pre-medieval history.”

  “So?” Caroline could tell she was missing a few steps here. “What does that have to do with Greg’s love life?”

  “Um. Basically, I think he’s not sure who— or what— he should date. He’s struggled.” Darien shrugged. “I’ve tried to tell him to just date whoever he wants to, but honestly? Until you came around I think he felt really alone in the world. He seems to have adopted you, though, so maybe he’s finally opening up a little.”

  Caroline glanced over to where Greg was settling down at his own desk now, steam rising from the goofy cat mug and the whole basket sitting jauntily on the corner, next to his computer monitor.

  “Huh.” She blinked at her friend who was more like an older brother to her than anything else. His heart was so big, and he was so kind that it made her sad to think that he might be lonely. “Well, speaking of the wars, and using it to get back to work. If Greg swears that no living creature bigger than that goose got onto the grounds, do you think that means there are trained animals being used? We did find that weird hair stuff near the vent. That would explain why there have been no human-sized thieves caught on camera.”

  Zanna stalked by and grunted a greeting at Caroline before heading to her own desk and sitting down. She clutched a large takeout cup in both hands and huddled over it like it was made of precious metals instead of waxed cardboard.

  “Sweet, sweet elixir of life,” she crooned, popping the lid off. the scents of caramel and coffee wafted over the desks as she sipped.

  “Long night? Did you go on the stakeout with Greg?” Darien asked.

  Zanna shuddered. “No. My new neighbors turned out to be a very loving, affectionate, and loud couple. I am glad that their relationship is so strong, but I wish it would be less noisily strong at two in the morning. And again at three.” She slumped further into her chair. “And again. At five.”

  “Well, maybe they were just celebrating their move and will settle down a bit?” Caroline offered. She started to say something else when Zanna’s phone beeped, and the elf grunted a greeting into the receiver.

  “Uh-huh. okay. Sure. Be there in a few.” She hung up and shook away some of her morning grumbles. “Well, it looks like we all have a break in our cases. Ollie would like to see all four of us in the lab as soon as we can wrangle everyone.” She glanced over at Greg’s desk and blinked. A small crease formed between her eyebrows. “What the heck is he drinking his coffee from? Is that a yellow cat mug?”

  9

  It was surprisingly quiet in the lab when Caroline followed Darien through the door of the lab, considering all the sparks and flashes from a few days earlier. Two of the techs were off to the side peering at something on a computer screen and comparing it to a sample on the desk beside them. They glanced up at the group as they entered and nodded in acknowledgment before returning to their work. The air still smelled a bit like burning plastic and marshmallows, though. Caroline wasn’t sure she wanted to know why.

  “Good morning, all!” Ollie himself stepped through another door at the other end of the lab. He ducked through the door and carefully stepped his way down the wide path between workbenches, his huge white lab coat flapping around his knees. The tablet he carried was the size of Caroline’s laptop screen. Made sense considering the size of his fingers.

  His office was, unsurprisingly, built to accommodate his size but the lab itself had to be accessible to beings of all sizes. Like the rest of the world, it leaned much more towards people of average human height rather than Ollie’s seven or so feet. Being an ogre in mainstream society was difficult on many levels, but he was very handy to have on raids.

  “Morning, Ollie! Please forgive my coffee, I’m barely functional this morning.” Zanna actually did sound apologetic for breaking Ollie’s ban on liquids in the lab. “I put the lid back on at least?”

  Ollie narrowed his eyes at her and raised his eyebrow, which for anyone who didn’t know the giant man would probably have been intimidating, but Caroline could see the amusement in his eyes and had no doubt Zanna could, too.

  “I’ll let it slide this time, Zan. It’s first thing in the morning and there’s nothing particularly sensitive going on in here right now. But you know better. This is your one free pass this year.”

  “You’re a saint,” Zanna said, taking a long gulp from her cup.

  Ollie eased himself down onto his special lab stool and woke up his tablet. “So, I have gathered you all here today for a fun and exciting reason.”

  “Nobody’s getting married or buried, right?” Greg grinned. He was carrying the sparkly stress ball from Shakes’ basket. “That’s what I usually expect when someone gathers us all together today.”

  Ollie blinked at him then smirked. “Well, maybe not a marriage of people, but certainly one of your cases.”

  “What? How do cases get married?” Darien asked. He leaned his hip on the counter and started to run his hand through his hair, but winced when his fingers hit the still tender lump on his head where one of the elf thieves got his lucky blow.

  “Well, married is perhaps an exaggeration, but you will all be working together moving forward, since it seems to me that your cases are, in fact, one single case and not two separate ones.” Ollie put his tablet down flat on the counter so everyone could see. “I finished testing that strange hair Mitch found at the Pithold Mansion.” He tapped the screen and a lab photo of the hair popped onto the screen.

  “We were wondering if it was maybe from an animal. That’s the only thing we can think of that could get through the security wards,” Caroline said as she leaned in for a better view. “But that looks too long for most animals I can think of. Are there any tiny longhaired monkeys?”

  “As a matter of fact, there are several species of long-haired monkey. Some variety of tamarins might fit the bill, but this isn’t monkey hair. It’s synthetic doll hair.” Ollie’s voice was smug and satisfied.

  “Doll hair?” Darien blinked at Ollie, then stared at Greg. “Doll hair!”

  Zanna slumped onto one of the regular-sized lab stools and took a long swig of coffee. Caroline stared at the photo and after a moment she just laughed.

  “Well, that explains how they got past the security ward! Nothing living was entering the grounds!”

  “That’s true enough,” agreed Darien. “And a doll can be any size, including small enough to fit through a vent.”

  "Shouldn't something with that much magic animating it trigger the wards?" Caroline asked.

  "Not if the wards aren't looking for spells," Darien sighed. "Most security wards have some basic things they watch out for, but golems isn't one of them since they're so rare."

  “And if the thief isn't a living thing but is magically animated instead, there’s no reason not to have a major scrying spell on it, so that the thieves know exactly what to grab and when to duck the doll out of sight,” Greg added. “It’s all the fun of a remote-controlled robot and none of the technological problems.”

  “Plenty of magical ones, though,” Darien grumbled.

  “I’m not sure that this is enough coffee,” Zanna groaned.

 
“Well, this is definitely a problem I didn’t need.”

  Point leaned back in his office chair and drove both hands over his hair. Caroline noticed that the dark brown was starting to lighten slightly and she wondered if trolls went grey. Grey hair would look decidedly odd with his slate blue skin, but what did she know?

  “I don’t want to have to call the Deputy Director and report this. Especially since it means that we’re now dead in the water on two fronts.” He slumped a little further into his chair.

  “Well, it’s not quite as bad as all that, boss,” Greg said. “I think we’ve been going about this a bit wrong. Maybe instead of watching and waiting, we should be a bit more proactive. I think Darien, Zanna, and I should head into a few bars and keep our ears open. The buskers that have been using the dancing doll golems are getting them from somewhere, so I’m willing to bet they also talk to the supplier somewhere easy to get to.”

  Point nodded and let out a sigh. “Okay. Darien’s over in the med suite right now getting cleared. You three can spread out and hit up some dives and see if there’s any chatter on that end. Go grab a nap for now and call in this evening. I want to know where everyone is at all times, so regular check-ins, got it?”

  “Yep.”

  “Got it.”

  “And what should I do?” Caroline asked. It was just as well that she knew that it was her age playing against her this time instead of her inexperience. Point probably didn’t want to explain to the Deputy Director why an underage and technically untrained intern was being sent out to a bar to scout for information. He had a lot of leeway with his teams, but not quite that much. The fact that she’d already been into dives, bars— and in one memorable case last month, a brothel— was being cheerfully ignored as accidental exposure or something.