The Lost Voice

by V. St. Clair

  Shellina frowned at this but didn’t seem able to come up with a good counter-argument. Jessamine didn’t doubt she would get to it sooner or later, but she was determined to control at least this one aspect of her own wedding.

  That reminds me, she realized abruptly. I need to clear Maxton’s criminal record and explain that Fox had him falsely imprisoned. She mentally vowed to see to it tomorrow. After all Max had been through, it was the least she could do for him.

  “Alright, fine.” Shellina scowled, before brightening suddenly. “I was thinking for your dress, something golden and high-necked to cover your scars. I’ve got some sketches for you to review.”

  “I’m not ashamed of my scars,” Jessamine pointed out. “And I was thinking something purple, not gold.”

  “Purple?” Shellina asked dumbly, as though she’d never heard of the color before. More likely, she was just shocked at her sister having an aesthetic opinion on something. “Please tell me you don’t mean something dark and gloomy.”

  “I was thinking of a vibrant, mid-level purple. Something in silk, maybe.”

  Shellina made a contemplative face and finally said, “It could work. It would make your skin look paler, but you like being pale, and the red in it would highlight your hair, though most people don’t do purple and red together. I still think you should cover your back.”

  “I’m thinking the opposite.” Jessamine smiled benignly. “I earned those scars, and I intend to show them off, and I don’t care what ‘most people’ would do. Find me something backless but tasteful.”

  Shellina looked like she was going to burst a blood vessel in her head, but she wisely knew when the fight was lost and simply made a few notes for herself.

  “Anything else?” Jessamine asked, tired.

  “Not really…oh, there is one more thing.” Shellina fidgeted, biting her lip to contain her enthusiasm. Jessamine wondered what could have her sister so excited. “Do you have any special role planned for Topher in your wedding?”

  Completely thrown by the question, Jessamine’s mouth dropped open dumbly and she said, “What?” Beside her, Hanna tensed slightly.

  “You weren’t going to have him stand in for Father and walk with you, were you?”

  Jessamine hadn’t even considered the possibility of such a thing, and was aghast at the idea of him having some part in a ceremony that was going to make her miserable. She would have bad feelings about it for the rest of her life, whether he asked for the role or not.

  “Lord, no. I will walk down the aisle alone,” she said with absolute certainty.

  “All alone?” Shellina looked surprised. “I mean, I know both our parents are gone so they can’t be with you, but I thought you would bring in substitutes to replace them. Leaders Skye and Rolf could escort you, if you want to send a message of united military strength and all of that.”

  It was actually a good idea, depending on the message she wanted to send to her people. A lot could be read into who she chose to stand beside her as she walked towards her fate.

  “Mother and Father are irreplaceable, and I would rather walk alone than attempt to fill their shoes.”

  “Darius will have his parents with him—”

  “I don’t mind the asymmetry. Besides, I am the Vicereine. I’m used to standing on my own.”

  Shellina raised her eyebrows at this, faintly impressed.

  “Alright then, I’ll make sure Darius knows.”

  “Why did you ask about Major Topher, anyway?” Hanna pressed, darting a quick look at Jessamine.

  “Oh, right.” Shellina brightened again. “I asked him to be my date for the event, and he said yes. I wanted to make sure you didn’t have any other plans for him, since I’ll be sitting right behind the officiant and it’ll be pretty obvious if the seat beside me is empty. He thought you didn’t have plans for him, but I wanted to make absolutely sure.”

  She was beginning to ramble, but Jessamine hadn’t heard anything after the first part. It felt like a block of lead was sinking into her stomach and weighing her down, threatening to pull her straight through the floor and into the earth itself.

  Topher is escorting Shellina to my wedding?

  “Did you order him to go with you?” Jessamine blurted out in the middle of whatever her sister was saying. Hanna winced as Shellina looked shocked.

  “Of course not—what a mean question!” Shellina pursed her lips. “I’ll have you know that I can get men too, even without being the ruler of a planet.”

  Jessamine felt like she’d been slapped in the face.

  “I—you’re right, that was rude. I didn’t mean it to sound the way it did, I was just surprised. Topher doesn’t seem like the type to enjoy these events.”

  Shellina softened at this and said, “Well, I asked him and he said he would come with me, so maybe he’s looking forward to a night of festivities after all.”

  Jessamine didn’t know what she had been expecting. Topher would have been a required attendee at the ceremony anyway, as a member of the Provo-Major. Why wouldn’t he escort someone and enjoy an evening off of work while he could?

  She had been quiet too long. Shellina looked uncomfortable when she said, “There was a time when I thought you might be fond of him…” At the look on Jessamine’s face she added, “I mean, obviously you’re not, and you’re marrying Darius and all. I just wanted to make sure…I mean…you’re okay with me going with Topher, aren’t you? There’s nothing going on between you two I should know about?”

  Jessamine felt like she was standing at the end of a very long tunnel, almost removed from her body when she said, “No, there’s nothing going on between us. I’m glad he’s taking you.”

  Shellina smiled in genuine relief and said, “Good, because I’ve always really liked him, and between you and me, I’m kind of hoping all this time we’re spending together in tutoring will make him like me, too. I asked Father, once, if he would object to me marrying a Major someday, and he had no problems with it.”

  The thought of her sister marrying the man Jessamine loved made her want to vomit. And cry.

  Hanna, blessedly, took the opportunity to stand up and say, “I think I’m ready to go to bed, and so should you. Vicerina, could I trouble you to help me back to my room to make sure I don’t reopen any of my wounds?”

  Shellina looked slightly stunned by the abrupt end of the conversation, but rose to her feet obligingly and said, “Of course. You can lean on me if you need to.” She offered her arm.

  Jessamine couldn’t begin to voice the gratitude she felt at having someone drag her sister off so she could be miserable by herself, and said only, “Yes, I’ll go to bed directly. Thank you both for your help, and I’ll see you tomorrow.”

  When they’d been gone for a few minutes, Jessamine opened the door and followed, walking briskly to the elevator without giving it a second thought. She passed two members of the cleaning crew in the sitting room but ignored them, summoning the elevator and palming the button for level two-fifty.

  She felt strangely detached from her body, as though someone else impelled her forward. At first she had no idea why she had hit the button for two-fifty when she had been planning to go to Topher, but when she stepped out of the elevator into the foyer of the medical bay, she suddenly had a plan.

  This is a bad idea.

  She walked purposefully to the receptionist, who sprang to his feet in alarm and saluted her with a hasty, “Excellency!”

  Ignoring the man’s discomfort, Jessamine said, “I need to speak with Dr. Kessel.”

  The receptionist processed this with a blink and said, “He’s off shift right now, so it will take him a minute to get here.”

  “That’s fine. Send him to room one when he arrives.”

  Jessamine didn’t wait for a response, walking purposefully to the locked door and using her biochip access to open it. The door hissed shut behind her as she stepped into the room and contemplated the sight of Parl lying in bed. He was cuffe
d to the rails, and though his eyes opened and widened at the sight of her, the Dark Talents prevented him from crying out or struggling against his restraints.

  “I take it you aren’t happy to see me.” Jessamine approached slowly, until she loomed over him, viciously satisfied by the sight of him helpless and pinned down. “You may have killed my father—who was a better man than you will ever be—but Fox missed me.” She glared down at him, anger radiating from her like a dark miasma.

  Parl, of course, said nothing. With the Dark Talents in place, he couldn’t do much more than grunt and flail weakly. It felt indecent, witnessing the lack of animation in his face and knowing it was her that kept him chained within his own body. She stamped out a brief flare of pity at the thought of her father bleeding to death in his rooms at his hand.

  Parl let out a low moan and rolled his eyes towards the door with obvious effort when it hissed open to admit Dr. Kessel, the head of the department. The Chief Physician was still pulling on his lab coat and smoothing his hair into place, having apparently been relaxing in his room when he was summoned. Despite the lateness of the hour, his grey eyes were keen and alert. Taking in the scene at a glance, he said, “Vicereine. How can I help you?”

  Jessamine pursed her lips and said, “Is Parl recovering?”

  There must have been something dark and forbidding in her voice, because Kessel folded his arms across his chest and said, “Slowly, but yes. He is stable but not completely beyond the possibility of unforeseen complications.”

  He knows what I’m getting at.

  “So no one would be terribly surprised if he took a turn for the worse during the night and died?”

  “No.”

  “Who else has been attending to him in here, and do they know anything about the Talents he wears?”

  Dr. Kessel moved to stand beside her, staring down at Parl without emotion.

  “Four members of my staff have been overseeing his care since his arrival. They have inquired about the Talents but were told they are for pain relief and to calm his thoughts and I instructed them not to remove them.”

  Jessamine frowned down at Parl, making up her mind on the spot.

  “I need to transport him to two-eighty-one for interrogation, and I don’t particularly want any of his friends to know about it.”

  Dr. Kessel nodded curtly.

  “It can be arranged. In a few hours I can cause him to appear deceased, and if you determine there is no need for an autopsy, he can be bagged and transported to two-eighty-one.”

  Parl was drooling and rolling his eyes around wildly. From what little she had read about the Dark Talents recently, she knew he was able to understand and process their words, despite the inability to control his body. Jessamine spared him a glance before turning back to the Chief Physician.

  “Do it. I am determined to root out any more traitors in this building. My father’s death will not be in vain.”

  Dr. Kessel nodded and said, “I served the Viceroy for fifteen years. I hope to serve you even longer.”

  The Viceroy had made it clear long ago that Jessamine could trust Kessel with anything. Her father had earned the doctor’s loyalty many years ago, and had involved him in many secrets, even those he wouldn’t share with his own Majors. Jessamine was glad she could count on him now.

  “Thank you, Doctor.” She shook his hand firmly, looking him in the eye. “It’s time to bring the fight to my enemies.”

  “Give them hell, Excellency.” He saluted her as she left.

  10

  Jessamine Elaria

  It wasn’t until she was standing right outside of Topher’s room that she stopped to think about what she would actually say to him when he answered. Her thoughts were a frustrating jumble, and in the end she sighed and knocked on the door with no plan in mind.

  There was no answer.

  Jessamine mentally counted to ten, listening for signs of movement within the room but hearing nothing.

  Is he ignoring me or already asleep?

  She glanced at her watch. It was late, but not unreasonably so. She knocked again.

  Still no sound from inside the room. Paranoia told Jessamine he was avoiding her, but reason soon caught up to her. How would he even know she was the one standing on the other side of the door without answering it, when she herself hadn’t planned to come here until a few minutes ago?

  The man did almost sleep through my violent murder.

  She turned away, resolving to try again tomorrow and trying to convince herself it was for the best since she didn’t have her thoughts together right now anyway. She was still pulsing with a combination of revulsion and anger from her visit to Parl and her plans for him.

  Jessamine only made it halfway down the hall before a door ahead of her opened and Major Gareth leaned out.

  “Vicereine,” he greeted her, obviously surprised to see her there.

  “Major Gareth,” she returned tiredly, realizing that in her haste escape her room after Shellina’s visit, she hadn’t donned her light armor. It must seem very odd to see her in the Provo-Major quarters late at night in civilian clothing. She imagined the picture it would paint in Gareth’s mind, and what he probably believed the reason for her visit to be.

  “Is there something I can assist you with?” she asked calmly, wondering whether he was also planning on venturing out in his night things.

  “No, Vicereine. I only opened the door because I heard a knocking sound and was curious about who was visiting at this time of night.”

  “Oh, I see. Well then, goodnight.” She turned and walked away from him. She was almost to the elevator when Gareth said, “Excellency?”

  Jessamine stopped and looked back at him, wondering why he seemed vaguely uncomfortable and if he was going to dare say something to her about why she was here tonight.

  “If you were looking for Major Topher, he’s out running an errand for Reya right now.”

  Jessamine raised her eyebrows at the oddity of this and said, “What is he doing for Major Reya at this time of night?”

  “Talking to his mother, I think. Reya’s been annoyed with him recently and she says they had it out earlier tonight. He’ll probably be back soon, just so you know. Anyway, goodnight, Excellency.”

  He retreated back into his room and closed the door. For a moment Jessamine stood there, not sure whether she should be grateful or irritated by Gareth’s assumption and interference. She settled on grateful, and turned back down the hall to Topher’s room, hesitating only fractionally before scanning her biochip at the door.

  The room opened for her, though as the Vicereine, all rooms would open for her. She didn’t want to invade Topher’s privacy, nor did she want to stand around in the hallway for who-knows-how-long until every other Provo-Major on the floor knew she was there.

  Topher’s room was plain and utilitarian, with little evidence of his personality or interests lying around. The exception was a bookshelf with a variety of historical and military texts on it, most of them book-marked in various places as evidence of use. Jessamine smiled sadly at these, because Topher had always been an avid reader when he got the chance, though she imagined he didn’t have much time for it anymore.

  Just one more thing I’ve taken from him.

  She took a seat in the chair at Topher’s desk, staring blankly out the window without really seeing, wondering what Topher was saying to his mother right now and if he was going to be in any mood to speak to her when he returned.

  This is probably a terrible idea. He doesn’t seem like he ever wants to speak to me these days, and forcing it is only going to bring things to a head.

  Still she sat there, waiting for whatever was to come, trying not to think too much about the possibility of Topher and Shellina marrying one day. As Vicereine, it was within her power to deny them the right to wed, regardless of what her father had promised before his death. It was a right she was tempted to exercise. But could she really live with herself if she denied the peop
le closest to her something they wanted just to satisfy her own petty feelings?

  The door lock beeped and clicked, and Jessamine was shaken from her morose thoughts as the door opened and Topher stepped inside.

  At first he didn’t seem to notice her there, and his unguarded expression nearly took her breath away. Fatigue, tension, and sadness warred with resolution and relief. He flopped onto his back across his bed and rubbed his eyes, the motion exposing a bare slice of skin where his shirt lifted over his stomach. Then, all at once, Topher sat bolt upright, looked straight at Jessamine and said, “Am I hallucinating, or are you really here?”

  “I’m really here,” she blurted out, not sure what else to say.

  Topher blinked twice and scanned her features as though unsure whether or not to believe her, but then said, “Oh, good. The last thing I need right now is more mental problems.” He shook his head slightly to banish the thought then added, “How long have you been here?”

  “I don’t know. Not long.”

  He seemed different than he had over the last few weeks, a bit more like his old self. After seeing him look flat and apathetic ever since their last confrontation at Hera’s house, it was a relief to see something familiar.

  “Why are you here?” Topher asked, stifling a yawn. “Have you discovered any of Fox’s conspirators, or has something else come up that you need me to do?”

  He can’t imagine me wanting to see him for anything other than work…

  Jessamine’s heart sank at the realization, and she took a breath to control her emotions and said, “No, nothing has come up. I wanted to speak to you, and you seem to be avoiding me lately.”

  Topher’s expression changed ever-so-slightly, but the effect was gut-wrenching. His guard was back up, and his face was as unreadable as ever.

  “I have been quite busy, as have you. What did you want to say to me?”

  My father is dead and my sister and I have never been close and you are the only person in this world I want to be near sometimes and now you’re pulling away from me too.