by A. P. Watson
“Keep the change,” Jacks said.
“Thank you!”
“Bye, honey! You be sure to take a break tonight!” I added, waving goodbye.
“I’ll try!” Ken smiled once more and waved before jumping down the stone steps and heading back to his delivery truck.
Jackson took the bag from me and carried the food to the coffee table in the living room while I grabbed napkins and bottles of water.
“He seems to like you.” Jacks made us a makeshift picnic by opening all the food containers and spreading them across the table. Meanwhile, I, scrolled through Netflix, trying to find something worth watching.
“Who, Ken?”
“Yeah.”
“That was only the second time I’ve ever met him. He’s just a sweet person. He acts that way with Terayn too.”
“You didn’t see the way he was looking at you,” Jacks countered.
“You would say that.”
“I can’t help it if guys are always checking you out.”
“Hah, if guys were checking me out as often as you say, then my bed wouldn’t be a no-fly zone every single night.”
“I was in your bed today. Do I not count?”
I tossed a set of chopsticks at him, rolling my eyes. “You know what I mean.”
Jacks grabbed a carton of chicken and handed it to me. I gave up trying to find a decent movie and decided on The X-Files instead. We both settled on the couch, sharing our food as the opening credits rolled.
“They really do have palpable chemistry,” Jacks muttered.
“I think it’s what makes the show so good.” I offered Jacks the container I was holding, waiting as he grabbed some chicken out of it.
“Has to be.” He stuffed the chicken in his mouth. “This chicken is really good by the way.”
“I know! I think it’s my favorite.”
“Here, try some noodles.” The chopsticks he held out to me were dripping with lo mein.
I leaned forward and opened my mouth. The noodles were so delicious, I practically swallowed them whole. “Mmm . . . so good.”
“I know.”
“You’re still coming to the Crayola War tomorrow, right?”
Jacks nudged me with his elbow. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world.”
“Good! Now, Ryan is going to try and convince you to be on his team, but you really should be on the same side as Terayn and me.”
“Oh, should I?”
“Trust me, you don’t want to be on the opposing side.”
“Is that so?”
I shrugged my shoulders, unable to hide my smile. “Oh yeah.” When the episode finished, I picked up the remote. “Do you want to watch another?” I asked.
“Yeah. I’m really enjoying this show. Plus, I like the fact we’re watching it together.”
“Okay.” I started the next episode and settled on the couch. “So, wait, are you saying you want to watch the entire series together? Because that is one heck of a commitment.”
“I’m up for it if you are.”
“Sounds like a plan to me,” I said. Jacks moved closer, his arms stretching along the back of the couch. “Can I ask you something?”
“Of course.”
“Why do you want to be friends with me?” I bit my lip nervously, hoping he wouldn’t find my question offensive. “I mean, you could spend time with any woman you wanted, and you are kind of dating Kate, so . . . ”
“So, why do I need you?”
“Yeah,” I whispered.
“I have a hard time trusting people.” He sucked in a deep breath, exhaling slowly. “I’ve been used just like you have. Kate is a lot of fun and everything, but our attraction is more physical than anything.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
“I’m sorry people have broken your trust. I know how that feels.”
“I know, even though I wish you didn’t,” he said softly. His arm moved from the back of the couch and wrapped around my shoulder.
“And once the damage is done, it’s hard to rid yourself of those people.”
“Yes,” he sighed loudly, his chest falling with the release of a deep breath, “it is.”
I may not know what happened between Jacks and Elise, but her presence lingered. Liam left his fair share of destruction in his wake, but at least he was gone from my life for good. The same couldn’t be said for Elise. As Jacks said earlier, she was still trying to get back into his life. “Jacks, what were your parents like?”
“Amazing. My dad loved music—any kind he could get his hands on. He was also quite the piano player too.”
“He’s responsible for your love of music?”
He nodded slightly, his mouth parting into a wistful smile. “When I was a baby, he used to play records to help me fall asleep. He said I was especially fond of Jimi Hendrix.”
“So, the love of Jimi Hendrix started with David and was passed down to your dad and then eventually to you?” I asked.
Jacks smiled as he nodded. “Pretty much.”
“I bet your dad was awesome.”
“He was.”
“And your mom?”
“She had this way of making everyone around her feel at ease. Her heart was always so full of love and compassion. I don’t believe she ever met a stranger.”
“I think I would’ve liked her.”
“I have no doubts about it. The two of you would’ve gotten along really well. She had the same spirit as you.”
“Really?”
“There was nothing she couldn’t handle.”
“Sounds like my kind of woman.”
“She was.”
I didn’t have to stare at the lines of Jackson’s face to know he was sad because I could hear it in his voice. His usual deep vibrato was laced with despair, and it made me realize perhaps he needed me as much as I was beginning to need him. Sometimes, gestures spoke volumes when words failed us. I had no idea what I could say to ease his suffering. His parents had been ripped away from him unfairly, but there was comfort in numbers. So, instead of speaking, I set my head on top of his shoulder and slipped my arms around his waist. Grief could feel insurmountable at times, and Jacks carried the loss of his parents all on his own. Perhaps, for the time being, his solitary endeavor wouldn’t have to be so lonely.
chapter ten
down
JACKS AND I LEFT the townhouse just as Terayn and Ryan began digging into the leftover takeout. After spending most of the day cooped up, we decided a workout was in order. Typically, that meant a trip to the pole studio for me, but I wasn’t quite ready to reveal my secret to Jacks just yet. He had a knack for observation as well, and it wouldn’t take him long to figure out the details of my past employment at The Peel. I’ve seen the judgment lining people’s faces after they know, and sometimes that level of criticism is hard to shake.
To my surprise, Jackson’s gym wasn’t as packed as I expected. Then again, it was after ten on a Friday night. I’m not one for crowds, so I was glad only a few other fitness enthusiasts were hovering around. The gym was an excellent facility with every kind of free weight and cardio machine you could imagine. Once we checked in at the front desk, Jacks and I headed over to the free weights.
I pulled out my headphones and phone. “I know my way around a gym, so just do your thing. I’m going to lift and then get in some stretching.”
“Sounds good. I’ll find you when I’m done.”
I waved to Jacks and ventured off on my own. Stuffing my headphones into my ears, I pulled up some music on my phone. I scrolled through several songs, laughing as I came across a newly made playlist. It was titled “Ter and Wren’s Favorite Jamz.” Leave it to Terayn to hijack my unattended phone and make an epic new playlist on it. As I programmed my phone to play through the list, a Marian Hill song started. Ter knew me so well. Not only did I love every song on our playlist, but I also caught myself dancing to the music more than once. That was the problem with dancers. When a catchy so
ng came on, it was nearly impossible to keep our bodies still. Rhythm coursed through our veins like blood, and instead of trying to rein my body in, I decided to set it free. Besides, it wasn’t like I knew anyone at this gym anyway.
After an hour and a half of solid weightlifting, it was time to cool down. Jacks was still busy, so I decided to find a mat and stretch. Years of dancing not only toned my body but made it lithe as well. According to Ter, I could bend like a pretzel. Flexibility came in handy as a pole dancer, especially when it came to executing some of the more advanced tricks. To be a pole dancer, you needed the grace of a ballerina, the strength of a gymnast, and the flexibility of a yogi. It was a challenging sport, and that’s why I loved it so much. You could never hit a plateau because there was always something to work on.
I extended my hands over my head and continued holding my front splits. I was about to lean forward and deepen the stretch when I felt a tap on my shoulder.
I pulled out one of my earbuds. “Do you mind if I stretch my left split really quick? I don’t want to be uneven.”
“Not at all.”
I spoke thinking Jacks was the one tapping me on the shoulder, but to my surprise, Henry was squatting next to me. “I’m sorry, I thought you were Jackson.”
“You sound disappointed.”
“Just surprised.”
“How about you get into that left split?” Henry grinned at me, his eyes practically ripping through my sports bra. Leave it to the fuck boy to stare at my tits. “If you have any trouble with it, I’ll be here to assist you.”
“Thanks, but I won’t need your assistance.”
“So, I’ve seen.” A line of sweat extended along the length of his chest. He was as fit as Jacks, but his cockiness was a big turn off. On our first date, I thought Jacks had been cocky, but looking back, I only saw the combination of his confidence and sense of humor. Henry, on the other hand, was arrogant, plain, and simple. “Were you once a gymnast or something?”
“No.”
“A ballerina then?” he asked.
“Something like that.”
“So, a dancer?”
“Yeah.”
“When?”
I switched my legs, sliding into my left splits. The way he was cycling through questions made our interaction seem more like an interrogation and less like a chance meeting. “In college.” I told the truth because lies always had a way of spiraling out of control, but I also wasn’t going to provide him with any details.
At my answer, Henry gave me the once-over one more time, his eyes hungrily appraising my body. “Interesting.”
“No pressing engagements tonight, Henry?” My question may have been polite, but my voice teetered on the edge of hostility.
“Not yet. It’s still fairly early though.”
“That’s true.” I continued stretching, trying my best to pretend Henry was nowhere in the vicinity. I hoped the pause in conversation would prompt him to move on, but knowing my luck, it’d never happen. “Is there something I can help you with?”
“I can think of quite a few things.” The sexual implications of his reply nearly made me gag. “But for now, I’m quite content to sit here and watch the show you’re putting on,” he replied, licking his lips.
“In school, did you major in dickology or was it your minor?”
“You’ve got quite the tongue on you, don’t you?” Henry rubbed his hand over his jaw. “Oh, the things we could do with a mouth like that.”
My head snapped forward, removing Henry from my line of sight. “Does that line typically work for you?”
He laughed, standing from his squatting position. “Jackson told me about the arrangement the two of you have. He said there are no attachments whatsoever.”
I’d be lying if I said his words didn’t sting. Jacks and I were strictly friends, but the way Henry phrased it made the whole thing sound like I didn’t mean a thing to Jackson. “I don’t see how it’s any of your business.”
“It will be if you agree to have dinner with me.”
“Dinner?” I asked.
“If you don’t want to eat, I could stretch you out instead.”
Bile burned my throat. “No, thank you.” I pulled my legs back together and stood.
“I’m sorry?”
“No.” I reiterated my reply, drawing out the word for dramatic effect.
“What are the two of you talking about?” Jacks’s voice sounded from behind me, and I took a few steps back, hoping to meet him.
“Our respective fields of study.” Henry’s reply was addressed to Jacks, but his eyes stayed glued to me. I took another step backward, colliding with Jacks’s chest. Immediately, I reached for his hands, wrapping his arms around my waist. “Glad to see you’re feeling better, Jackson.”
“I nursed him back to health,” I quipped. Henry’s smug smile faded. Now, it was my turn to smile sweetly. “I’ve got the healing touch.”
“I’m sure you do.”
“Well, it was good to see you outside the office again, Henry, but we better call it a night. See you Monday.” Jackson released his hold on me, settling his right hand on the small of my back.
“Good night.” My parting words were curt, but at that point in time, I couldn’t have cared less.
“Until next time, Wren,” Henry said smugly.
Thankfully, Jacks picked up on my desire to get the heck out of here ASAP. When we were finally in the parking lot, I sighed a breath of relief.
“Are you okay?” Jacks opened the door to his car for me and ushered me inside.
I waited until he rounded the vehicle and slid behind the steering wheel. “I’m fine.”
“Fuck.” He glanced in each direction before pulling onto the street. “When a woman says she’s fine, it means World War III is about to fucking go down.”
“I simply don’t care for Henry. That’s all.”
“Why not?”
“The way he was talking to me . . . ” I started speaking and quickly stopped. Henry was Jacks’s coworker, and Jackson certainly didn’t need any added stress at work. He already had enough on his plate.
“Did he say something to you?”
“It doesn’t matter. I can handle guys like him. I just haven’t had to in a while.”
“What did he say?” Jacks’s voice softened, concern evident in each word he uttered.
“Don’t worry about it.” All the taunts I endured as a stripper plagued my mind. Why did it make men feel better to put women down? I used to have customers call me a whore and tell me how dirty and worthless I was to my face. I listened to their verbal abuse with a false smile on my lips and venom in my veins. Most of the time, I tried to ignore them, but sometimes their words broke through my defenses. And when my barriers were breached, their vile taunts took root inside my brain and began to fester and rot.
“Wren . . . ”
“Get off your white horse, Jacks. I don’t need to be rescued.”
The Corvette came to a sudden halt in the middle of the street. Drivers honked and shouted profanities as they zipped around us. “He was staring at you like you were an all he could eat buffet. What did he say?”
I tried to speak, but a surge of emotions caught in my throat. Tears spilled down my cheeks before I could even stop them. “Am I wearing a sign that says I’m worthless? Because I am so fucking tired of being used and discarded like I don’t mean a damn thing. I’m sick of being treated like an object, like something to be touched and groped and fucked.”
“Wren, you are the furthest thing from being worthless.”
“I wish that were true.” I moved to open the car door, but Jacks pressed the locks and sped off down the road.
Silence saturated the air around us, the lack of noise utterly deafening. I wanted to stop crying, but my tear ducts were defiant and demanded a purge. Crying in front of another person was something I didn’t do, so I shifted my focus to the city outside my window.
I assumed we were headed back t
o the townhouse, but when Jacks pulled into the parking garage at his place, I turned to him out of confusion. “Come inside with me for a while,” he pleaded.
“Okay.”
I followed him, silently trailing through the immaculate high-rise he lived in. Minutes passed in a blur and before I knew it, he ushered me into his apartment. He led me to the guest bedroom, past a grand queen-sized bed toward the bathroom.
Water poured from the showerhead, dripping down the tiled walls. I took the towel Jacks held out and watched as he closed the door behind him as he walked out. Time transformed into a foreign notion as I sat beneath the scalding stream. There was some sort of blissful anonymity in crying while taking a shower as if the tears and cascading water blended together to form a single pool. Honestly, I couldn’t recall the last time I cried. After everything Liam put me through, I vowed I would never endure something like that ever again. I didn’t want to be alone, but sometimes, life was a hell of a lot safer that way.
A knock sounded at the door, disrupting my train of thought. “Wren?” Jacks asked from the other side of the door. I hugged my knees to my chest, praying my voice would come when it was summoned. I’d never uttered the things I said to Jacks out loud before. I’d never had the courage, until now.
“Yeah.”
“I’ll be right outside the door if you need me.”
“Thanks.”
“I don’t know who led you to question your own significance, but they should be put down because you are the most inspiring and compassionate woman I’ve ever met.”
His voice was muffled through the door, but the words he spoke struck a chord with me. Ryan treasured Terayn with every fiber of his being. And maybe I was a fool, but I needed someone to cherish me. “All I want is to be something to someone.”
“You are something to me,” he said sweetly. There may have been a door separating us, but the catch in his voice was still audible.
I inhaled sharply, my lungs desperate for air. “You know what I mean.”
“Yeah, I do.” He paused for a moment before continuing. “Elise and I were together for almost two years when we ended our relationship.”