A Daughter's Courage

by Kitty Neale

  Dorothy just nodded but Nelly wasn’t convinced. ‘Do you need to go to the toilet?’

  ‘I don’t know … it’s my stomach … I’ve got rotten cramps.’

  That didn’t sound right to Nelly and she feared it could only mean one thing.

  Dorothy gasped as she bent over, clutching her stomach. ‘Is this normal, Nel?’

  Nelly didn’t want to frighten her friend, but she had to get her to the locker room. Her mind raced as she tried to think of an excuse that old Epstein would buy. ‘I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about, but we need to get you off your feet.’

  ‘How? It’s a good hour until our lunch break. Argh, this hurts, but I’ll have to grin and bear it.’

  ‘No, you won’t. Leave it to me and go along with what I say, OK?’

  ‘Yes, but what are you gonna do?’

  ‘I’m going to have a word with Mr Epstein. Don’t worry, love.’

  Nelly approached the baker, who was already eyeing the girls suspiciously. He had thin ginger hair swept over the top of his head, and a large pointed nose. His eyes narrowed as he snapped accusingly, ‘What is so important that you and Miss Butler find it necessary to talk when you should be working? I saw you both, wasting time. I’ve a good mind to dock your wages, the pair of you.’

  ‘It’s Dorothy, sir, she’s not feeling very well. I’m worried she may faint. Can I take her to the back room?’

  Before Mr Epstein could answer there was a loud shriek. Nelly spun round just as Dorothy screamed louder and was horrified to see that blood was trickling down her friend’s legs and beginning to pool on the floor. Without hesitation, Nelly ran to her, her big chest heaving up and down.

  ‘Shush, it’s all right,’ she said soothingly, putting her arm round Dorothy’s shoulders.

  ‘I’m bleeding! What’s happening? Please, Nelly, help me. It’s so painful,’ Dorothy cried.

  ‘Just come to the locker room with me and try to stay calm,’ Nelly urged, hoping that none of their co-workers would work out what was going on.

  Her fears were realised when Mr Epstein called, ‘What is wrong with that girl? Is she miscarrying?’

  Dorothy looked at Nelly, saying fearfully, ‘Oh, my God, I’m not, am I?’

  ‘I’m sorry, but yes, you might be, though nobody else needs to know. Come on, lean on me, and let’s get you out the back.’

  Mr Epstein was shouting again, ‘It’s a disgrace! How dare she come here in that condition! Get that whore out of my sight!’

  Nelly felt Dorothy’s body flinch and wasn’t sure if she was having more pain or if Mr Epstein’s words had hurt.

  ‘I’m not having that,’ she screeched at Epstein. ‘Dorothy ain’t a whore, she’s just having a bad monthly. You should watch your mouth saying things like that ’cos she could have you up in court for slander.’

  Nelly had no idea if that was true, but at least it shut Epstein up as he blustered, ‘Yes, well, I can see she’s ill so take her home.’

  She managed to get her friend through to the locker room and seated on the wooden bench. Dorothy bent over double. ‘Oh, God, it hurts. What’s happening? Am I going to die?’

  ‘Don’t be silly, of course you aren’t, but I think you’re losing the baby. We must get you to Dr Stubbs.’

  ‘No,’ Dorothy shrieked, ‘if anyone’s in the waiting room they’ll see me and guess what’s happening.’

  Nelly sat down next to her friend. She had seen her sister go through this between her first and second child. ‘OK, then, we need to get you cleaned up and home to bed.’

  ‘The pain is getting worse and I don’t think I can make it home.’ Dorothy was crying as she clutched her tummy.

  ‘Do you want me to call an ambulance?’ Nelly asked worriedly.

  ‘No … no!’ Dorothy gasped, and, drawing in juddering breaths, she straightened up. ‘It’s eased off now so I’ll try to make it home.’

  ‘All right. I’ll help you,’ Nelly said, before hurrying into the toilet to get some tissue to wipe her friend’s legs. She then took Dorothy’s coat from her locker and draped it across the girl’s shoulders before putting on her own coat. ‘Right, come on, hold on to my arm and we’ll take it nice and slow.’

  They left the bakery by the side door with Dorothy leaning heavily on Nelly as they made their way to her house. The going was slow as they had to stop every now and then when the pain became too much for Dorothy to walk.

  ‘That’s it, girl,’ Nelly urged. ‘Not far now, we’re nearly there.’

  Dorothy was becoming weaker so Nelly was relieved when the Butlers’ house came into sight. She had the greatest sympathy for her friend’s pain, and couldn’t imagine what the girl was going through, yet it crossed her mind that maybe, in some ways, this was for the best. She doubted Dorothy would feel the same, but Nelly knew that in the long run it would better for Dorothy if there was no baby.

  Alice had just finished changing her bed when she heard a woman’s voice shouting from the hallway downstairs. Whoever it was sounded frantic and was calling her name.

  ‘Mrs Butler … Mrs Butler!’

  Alice sped down the stairs as quickly as her worn-out body would allow and was shocked to see Dorothy, looking as if she was at death’s door and being supported by her large friend Nelly. ‘What’s happened? Alice asked, worried sick at the sight of her poorly daughter.

  ‘She’s losing the baby and she needs to lie down,’ Nelly answered.

  ‘We can’t let her father see her in that state. Somehow we have to get her upstairs,’ Alice urged, watching despairingly as with a nod Nelly almost carried Dorothy up the stairs and into her bedroom. It was a good job that Nelly was a big girl with the strength to match, thought Alice, knowing her frail body would have been of little help.

  ‘Mum … Mum … I’m losing my baby,’ Dorothy wept as Nelly laid her down on her bed.

  ‘I know, love,’ Alice said sadly.

  Dorothy cried out in pain and Alice grew concerned at the amount of blood she was losing. She looked awful, as white as a sheet, and as Alice had known a woman who’d haemorrhaged following a miscarriage she said urgently, ‘Nelly, can you run to the phone box and call Dr Stubbs? No, better still, call for an ambulance.’

  ‘No … no, I don’t want to go to hospital,’ Dottie protested.

  ‘You’ll do as I say,’ Alice snapped, fear making her sound angry.

  ‘Your mum is right,’ Nelly said, hurrying off to the phone.

  Alice rushed to grab some towels from the bathroom. When she came back, the bedroom seemed to be spinning, so, after placing the towels under her daughter, she was grateful to sit on the edge of her bed. She held her daughter’s hand as Dorothy brought her knees up to her stomach and moaned.

  ‘I don’t want to lose my baby, Mum.’

  ‘I know you don’t, but the ambulance will be here soon,’ she said softly, squeezing her daughter’s hand. She hated seeing her suffer and regretted the many times she had wished Dorothy would miscarry.

  The poor woman who’d haemorrhaged had died, and if her Dottie died too, Alice knew she would never forgive herself.

  Chapter 13

  Adrian always closed the office early on Christmas Eve but paid his drivers for a full day. It was his way of offering them a little Christmas bonus, plus he included an extra pound in each of their wage packets.

  At midday, having locked his office door, he climbed into his car and drove around to the Butlers’ house. His back seat was filled with Christmas gifts for them, and a few tasty treats to add to their Christmas dinner.

  He rapped quietly on the door and Alice Butler opened it, but Adrian wasn’t prepared for what he saw.

  ‘Alice, you look awful. Is everything OK?’ As soon as the words had left his mouth Adrian could have kicked himself. What a thing to say, telling a woman that she looks awful, but the truth was that she did. Her hair was unkempt, her eyes were red and she was still in her nightwear.

  ‘You’d better come in,�
� she said.

  ‘Thank you, but first I need to unload my car. I’ve got some things for you,’ he said, and hurried to fetch them. He hoped Alice wouldn’t be offended by his gifts as that was the last thing he wanted, but when he followed her through to the small kitchen and placed his items on the table she showed no interest in them.

  ‘If you’ve come here to give me the weekly money for the baby, then you needn’t bother.’

  ‘I don’t understand.’

  ‘Yeah, well, there’s no baby now. Dottie had a miscarriage,’ Alice said and then sighed heavily before adding, ‘I suppose it’s for the best.’

  Adrian felt like he had been kicked in the stomach. He grabbed a chair and sat down. ‘Dorothy … is she OK?’ he asked, dreading the answer.

  ‘Yes, she’s fine. She lost a lot of blood and then got some sort of infection, but they’re letting her home today. Funny, that, just in time for Christmas, but I doubt she’ll feel much like celebrating.’

  ‘I’m so sorry. Is there anything I can do?’

  The woman was quiet for a moment before answering, ‘Actually, there is. I can’t get up to the hospital to fetch her home, so maybe you could collect her in that nice car of yours. It really would be a weight off my mind. The thing is, it seems they all know about it round here. It happened at Mr Epstein’s place and, though Dottie’s friend Nelly tried to fob them off, the women in the bakery ain’t fools. Word has spread and I think Dottie could do without any snide comments today. I’d feel much better if I knew she was safely tucked away in your car.’

  ‘Of course I’ll pick her up. What time is she due to leave?’

  ‘In about an hour. There’s something else … don’t mention it to her yet, but Mr Epstein has given her the elbow. Nelly came round to tell me yesterday.’

  Adrian sighed a deep breath. He never had liked Mr Epstein and knew the man treated his employees harshly, though he surmised Dottie losing her job would be the least of her worries. If only he could wrap his arms around her and offer her some comfort. His heart went out to the poor girl, and once again he found himself cursing his brother for the mess he had left behind.

  ‘Don’t worry about that now,’ he said. ‘Let’s get Dorothy home and rested, then I’m sure we can sort something out in the New Year.’

  ‘She’ll need to find another job.’

  ‘Yes, but one thing at a time for now. I’ll be on my way, but before I leave, these are for you.’ Adrian indicated the brown parcels on the table. ‘I hope you don’t mind me bringing you a few gifts. It’s Christmas and I thought with Dorothy having the baby, well, we’re almost family.’

  ‘Oh, Adrian, that’s ever so kind of you. You’ve put me in an awkward position as I don’t have anything for you.’

  ‘I’m glad to hear it. I wasn’t expecting anything. I just hope you enjoy what I’ve brought for you … well, the best you can enjoy anything given the circumstances.’

  ‘You’ll understand if I don’t feel much like opening presents today, but I’m gonna do my best to cheer our Dottie up tomorrow,’ Alice said. ‘I’m sure she’ll love to open them then. What are you doing for Christmas lunch?’

  ‘Me … I’m putting my feet up in front of the television. It’ll be nice to have a day off work.’

  ‘You mean you’ll be alone? On Christmas Day?’ Alice sounded astounded.

  Adrian shrugged his shoulders. ‘Robbie is who knows where, and my sister lives in Scotland, but, as I said, I’ll enjoy the peace and quiet.’

  Alice shook her head. ‘We can’t have that. You’ll come here for your lunch and I won’t have another word said about it. By yourself on Christmas day? Well, I’ve never heard the likes of it. I can’t promise much in the way of a slap-up meal, but you’re welcome to share what we have.’

  Adrian was surprised by Alice’s invitation. He felt a little embarrassed, but at the same time relished the thought of spending more time with Dorothy. ‘Thank you. If you insist, then I would love to accept your invitation. I’ll go and fetch your daughter now, and then I’ll look forward to spending Christmas Day with you tomorrow.’

  Dorothy sat on the edge of her pristine hospital bed. Her small bag was packed and she was dressed and ready to go. She had seen two of the nurses whispering in a corner and passing sidelong glances her way. She knew they were talking about her, which made her feel even more desperate to leave the hospital, but at the same time, home was the last place she wanted to be. She had been pregnant when she’d left her house a few days ago, but now she would be returning with an empty belly and no baby.

  She gently rubbed her stomach, consumed by a feeling of barrenness. Her baby was gone, a part of Robbie had died, but Dorothy had cried her tears and was resolute that there would be no more. Apart from anything else, she knew her mother would have no time for weeping and moping. Alice had always been of the ‘stiff upper lip and get on with it’ mindset.

  Dorothy sighed deeply and prepared to make her way home. Her heart thumped in her chest at the thought of facing the world. She was sure word of her losing the baby had spread by now, and knew not to expect any sympathy.

  ‘Dottie, hello. Your mum sent me to pick you up.’

  Dorothy looked up, surprised to see Adrian. What a godsend, she thought. He has a car. ‘Adrian, you have no idea what a relief it is to see you.’

  ‘I’m so sorry about the … the, err … you know.’

  Dorothy could see the genuine sympathy in Adrian’s eyes and almost burst out crying again, but then reminded herself that she had to be resolute. There would be no more tears and she managed to hold them in. ‘Thanks Adrian, but I suppose everyone is pleased and thinking this is the best outcome. I won’t be an unmarried mother now. It’ll be one less thing for my mum to worry about.’ Dorothy knew her tone sounded bitter and wished she’d kept her mouth shut. She looked at Adrian, who seemed at a loss for words. ‘I’m sorry, Adrian. I shouldn’t have said that.’

  ‘Don’t apologise to me, there’s no need for that. I can’t speak for anyone else, but I for one am most definitely not pleased. Now come on, let’s get you home. Your mother is waiting and I know she’ll be over the moon to see you.’

  Dorothy sat in silence during the journey, peering out of the side window as the car trundled through the streets of Battersea. Everything looked so grey and glum to her, echoing her mood. Even the few Christmas decorations she spotted failed to lift her spirits and she sighed heavily.

  ‘I can see how upset you are, and it’s understandable,’ Adrian said.

  His sympathy brought tears to her eyes, but once again she fought them. ‘I know I’ve got to somehow put this behind me and get on with it. My mum won’t stand for any nonsense and, not only that, I don’t want to ruin her day tomorrow. We haven’t got much, but all the same she makes a real effort every year in the hope of rousing my dad. He used to love Christmas.’

  ‘Your mother has invited me for lunch tomorrow,’ Adrian said, ‘so I’ll help too. I’ll even dress up in my old Santa outfit if you like?’

  Dorothy smiled; it was the first time she had done so since she’d miscarried. ‘You’ve got a Santa outfit?’

  ‘Yes, and I’ll have you know I make a very good Father Christmas.’

  Dorothy smiled again as Adrian patted his stout belly.

  ‘Ho, ho, ho,’ he boomed. ‘See, you’d never guess I’m not the real thing.’

  As the sun broke through the dark clouds, Dorothy felt the glimmer of light on her skin. Though she was bereft at losing Robbie’s baby, she thought maybe tomorrow wouldn’t be so bad after all.

  Chapter 14

  The pub was full of festive cheer as customers celebrated Christmas Eve. Robbie sat at a table in the corner, supping his pint. He’d been surprised and pleased to find the wallet he’d stolen contained twenty-five pounds, a sizable amount of cash. Jumping that bloke and nicking his car had been easy, but it didn’t pay the sort of money he wanted, though he’d enjoyed living the high life for a while. It
had paid for fuel to get him to Surrey and afforded him a few nights’ stay in some nice hotels. However, it wasn’t going to last for much longer and Robbie still hadn’t pulled off the big job he was aiming for.

  He squeezed his way through the throng of people to the bar and ordered another pint. When the landlord took his money, Robbie noticed the cash register was bulging with notes. This was probably one of the busiest nights of the year and there would be plenty more cash going into the till yet. And there would be no banks open tomorrow. A plan began to form in Robbie’s mind.

  ‘And get one for yourself,’ Robbie said to the landlord as he was given his change. He didn’t like to give away his money to strangers, but, he thought, it would be back in his own pocket later.

  ‘Thanks very much. Merry Christmas,’ the landlord answered.

  Robbie stood and slyly watched as money went over the bar. The landlord was rushed off his feet, but between serving customers he did manage to have the odd word or two with Robbie.

  ‘You’re not from around here?’

  ‘No,’ Robbie answered, ‘I’m from London.’

  ‘Whereabouts? I’ve got family in the Smoke,’ the landlord asked.

  ‘Knightsbridge way,’ Robbie fibbed.

  ‘It’s nice around there. My family come from around the East India docks. Tough old game that, being a docker. I got out of it a few years back and set up here. Tom’s my name – you stopping for another?’

  ‘Nice to meet you, Tom. I’m Graham,’ he lied, ‘and yes, I’ll have another pint. Get yourself another drink too,’ he said, thinking that this was all going according to his hastily put-together plan. Tom seemed like an affable bloke. He was overweight, a bit taller and older than him, but Robbie felt he already had the man on side.

  ‘Don’t mind if I do,’ Tom said and poured himself a shot of whisky which he drank quickly before having to serve another customer.