Royal Bastards

by Andrew Shvarts

  “I am so sorry about him, Your Majesty,” Miles cut in. “We don’t normally talk like that at the dinner table, or, you know, at all. It’s just that Zell is a Zitochi, see, so there’s a whole cultural barrier at play, and, well, different etiquette standards. I’m sure you understand….”

  Zell crossed his arms over his chest. “I think it’s a good saying.”

  A bustle from the rest of the Hall saved us from the conversation. The servants had gotten the message that the Princess was back here now, and they rushed over, crowding around us with their trays and carafes.

  “Your Majesty,” said Garreth, head of the kitchen. “May I offer you some wine?”

  “Oh, no thank you, kind sir,” she replied. “I do not drink. It dulls the senses. And I’m afraid I won’t be able to eat much of this food, either. I do not consume the flesh of any beast or bird. But I will be happy to eat more bread, if you happen to have any!”

  The servants looked at each other, bewildered. “I’ll see what I can do,” Garreth replied, then gestured to the others. “We’ll leave our trays here. In case you change your mind.”

  They left, and Zell immediately reached across the table, grabbing a turkey leg. “At least we have food now. Thanks, castle rat.”

  Lyriana clapped her hands, delighted. “Of course! It is my greatest honor to serve and help you.” She looked around the table, her golden eyes wide with wonder, as if we were the most exotic creatures she’d ever seen.

  “You don’t have bastards in Lightspire, do you?” Miles asked. I couldn’t tell if he was being polite or genuinely curious.

  “Oh, Titans’ blessings, no,” Lyriana exclaimed. “It’s purely a Western custom. We consider it provincial. Barbaric, even. I mean, to think, you have to sit here, isolated from your families, given only scraps, purely by virtue of your lineage….” She shook her head. “It’s monstrous.”

  It wasn’t great, that was true. I’d spent my whole lifetime resenting being seated at the Bastards’ Table. But somehow, her saying it like that, her voice oozing pity, made it seem worse than it ever had.

  “That’s why I’m sitting here with you, seeing your world, experiencing your lives.” Lyriana took a bite of the bread, crinkled her nose, and set it down. “My family means well. But too many of them live in sheltered luxury, cut off from the real world, from the people they’re meant to rule. I used to be just like that, too, I’ll admit. Then I…saw something.” For one moment, she glanced away. “I started talking to my servants. I left the Nobles’ Circle and ventured into the Commons, even into the Sprawl. I saw the beggars and the orphans and the lost soldiers. And I realized how little of the world I had really seen. How little of the world my family cared about.”

  “Well, we’re deeply honored you’ve chosen to share this with us,” Miles said. “Anything you want to see or do, just let us know!”

  Lyriana smiled politely. I knew I should be smiling with her. But all I could feel were the nails of my fingers digging into my palm. Of course this was a great experience for her. Because that was all it was: an experience, a vacation, a quick, thrilling taste of a life she’d never have to live. She got to sit with us and marvel at our meager lives, and then she got to go back to Lightspire, to her glistening dresses and her gilded carriage and her loving father and her wonderful, perfect future. And the rest of us, well, we were stuck with our stale bread and our lonely table.

  After months of dreaming about it, I was finally sitting next to the Princess of Noveris. And I kind of wanted to slap her.

  I looked across the room, to the host’s table. The Archmagus was saying something, and everyone at the table was laughing as if it were the most hilarious thing in the world. Well, except for my father, who was just smiling, which was as close to laughing as he got. I could see now just how forced it was, how hard he was working just to look happy. His words from earlier echoed in my ears, his talk of the King’s grip and the whispers of rebellion, the story of his great-grandfather’s surrender. In that moment, looking at him across a crowded room, I felt like I understood him for the first time, understood the burden of his title. If the West had won the Great War, he’d be a King. Instead, he had to kneel before one, and act like he was grateful.

  I remembered the last thing my father had said. Where he’d asked me to help him. To stand by his side.

  If he could pretend, I could, too.

  “So!” I twisted my face into what I hoped was a decent replica of a smile. “How are you enjoying our Province?”

  “Oh, it’s absolutely wonderful!” Lyriana beamed. “This journey isn’t my first time out of the Heartlands, you know, away from those stuffy cities and those endless, endless plains. After the villas of the Eastern Baronies, nestled into those white cliffs, I was sure I’d seen the most beautiful place in the Kingdom…but I think the West might be my true favorite. The trees that reach all the way up into the skies and the fog rolling in from the sea and those gorgeous frost-tipped mountains…” She actually sighed wistfully. “And these castles! With their stone walls and their pioneer tapestries…It’s just all so wonderful, so truly enchanting. Like something out of a storybook!”

  “You must be easily impressed,” Zell said.

  Lyriana nodded thoughtfully, not offended at all. “I suppose that’s true, certainly compared to someone so worldly. I can only imagine the life experiences you’ve had to leave you so jaded.” Zell blinked, trying to figure out if he’d just been insulted or complimented. “I just wish I could stay longer and see more. There’s one thing that I…Well, no. Never mind.”

  “What is it?” Miles pried, like he was actively trying to ruin my night.

  Lyriana glanced down, embarrassed. “It’s silly. An old Volaris superstition. They say that great luck will come to a person who dips one foot in the Ancient Sea and the other in the Endless Ocean. I visited the Ancient Sea in the Baronies at the start of my journey, and I thought I might get to stop by one of your beaches…but my uncle says we must ride back first thing in the morning.” She shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. It’s just a silly old thing.”

  I saw Miles’s eyes light up with an idea, and my stomach plunged as I realized exactly what he was thinking right before he said it. “We could take you! Couldn’t we, Tilla? You said you and Jax were planning to go to the beach tonight anyway, right?”

  It took every ounce of restraint not to kick him in the shins. “We…I…well, Jax and I…” I tried, before hitting on a reasonable excuse. “Please, Miles. I’m sure the Princess’s uncle wouldn’t approve of her sneaking out at night with a bunch of bastards.”

  “No. He wouldn’t,” Lyriana said, a sudden hard edge in her voice. “And that’s exactly the problem. He keeps me locked away, sheltered from the real world, like some dainty bird in a gilded cage….”

  “You gild your birdcages?” Zell asked.

  “I’m sick of it,” Lyriana said, and I realized my ploy had totally backfired. Bringing up her uncle hadn’t discouraged her. It just got her riled up. “Seeing both oceans was the one thing I wanted on this trip, the one thing!” she said, pouting. “And you know what? I’m tired of being sheltered from everything. I’m tired of being protected. If you’re going to the beach tonight…I would be honored to go with you!”

  “The honor is all ours!” Miles swiveled toward me. “Tilla! We can take those tunnels under the castle, couldn’t we? The ones you and your brother showed me? They lead to Whitesand Beach, right?”

  Forget kicking him in the shins. I was ready to hit him over the head with a leg of lamb. We’d shown him the tunnels once, once, and he’d spent the whole time terrified of spiders. And suddenly he was the expert? “Well, yeah, they do, but…”

  Lyriana turned toward me, gently touching my shoulder with a single gloved hand. I almost flinched. “I assure you, Tillandra, I will be so, so grateful for this. I’ll never forget it.”

  And that was it, wasn’t it? No matter how badly I didn’t want to spend a minute long
er than I had to with this girl, I was trapped. If I said no now, I’d disappoint her. And that disappointment would ripple up, to her uncle, to my father. It didn’t matter that tonight was special for me and Jax, or that the last people I wanted to spend it with were Miles and Lyriana. My father was counting on me to entertain her. Or sure as hell not let her down.

  Burden of power, I thought. Burden of power.

  “Hell yeah,” I said. “You want to dip a foot in the Endless Ocean, Your Majesty? I say we go for a swim in it!”

  I worried I’d laid it on too thick, but Lyriana ate it right up. “I can’t believe this is happening. This is exactly—exactly—what I wanted! It’s like a dream come true!”

  And basically my worst nightmare.

  “I’d like to come as well,” Zell said, abruptly reentering the conversation.

  “What? Why?” I asked. I saw Zell’s gaze flit over my shoulder, toward the front of the room where his father was sitting. What was Zell thinking? Why would he suddenly care?

  “I don’t think that would be appropriate,” Miles replied. “I mean, no disrespect, but I just don’t think it would be proper for the Princess of Noveris to be out with a Zitochi she just met….”

  “Nonsense,” Lyriana said. “The proper thing is for a Princess to be educated in the ways of the world. And while the Zitochi may not be my formal citizens, they are my neighbors, and I should learn of them as well.” She nodded politely at Zell. “I would be honored by your company.”

  What was going on? Why was this happening?

  “Good. I’ll see you there,” Zell said, and not a moment too soon, because my father and Lyriana’s uncle came striding up to our table. Archmagus Rolan and I locked gazes for just one second, his turquoise eyes scorching through mine. A chill ran down my spine.

  “Your Majesty,” my father said, “I hope I’m not intruding.”

  “Oh, no, of course not!” Lyriana smiled. “Your daughter has been a most gracious host!”

  My father glanced at me, and I really, really hoped that was gratitude I saw in his eyes. “If you don’t mind parting ways with her, some of the other Lords would love the pleasure of making your acquaintance.”

  “Of course,” Lyriana said, and even I could read between the lines. Whatever game Rolan had played by letting her sit with us was up. Lyriana was going to be toured around the various tables until the end of the feast, so this was it. She stared at me with obvious, expectant eyes, so as she got up to go, I rose with her and gave her an almost certainly inappropriate hug. I pressed my face to her ear and whispered, “Lower baths. Second steam room. Loose tile, shaped like a hexagon.”

  She smiled at me and winked, actually, for real, winked. Then she turned back to the Hall and was off.

  I sat back down at the Bastard Table. Zell was leaning back against the wall with a look of bored amusement, while Miles sat up, arms folded across his chest, proud as a pig in a mud puddle. “Well?” he said. “How about that, huh? Can you believe it? We’re all legitimately in with the Princess!”

  I closed my eyes and sighed. “Hey, Zell.”

  “Yes?”

  “Think I could get some more of that stone milk?”

  I SPENT THE FIRST FIVE minutes after the feast sprinting to the stables to tell Jax what had happened. I spent the next two hours convincing him that I wasn’t making it all up.

  “This is insane, Tilla!” he said as we stood side by side in the tunnels beneath the baths, illuminated only by the dim glow of the Sunstone hanging by a leather band around my neck. “Even for you! And that’s saying something!”

  “Oh, I know,” I replied. “Believe me, this is not how I wanted my night to go, either. But I don’t have a choice, Jax. She’s the Princess. We have to do what she says. And you and I were planning to go to Whitesand Beach tonight….”

  “Yeah, so we could do the one tradition we have and toast our mother’s memory. Not so I could sneak out the Princess of the whole damn Kingdom!” Jax was eating a peach, and he took mammoth bites out of it as he talked. “I mean, you do understand how badly this could all go down, right? What could happen if we got caught?”

  “I think you’re being overly pessimistic, Jax,” Miles said. He was hunched against the crumbling tunnel wall, hands in his pockets. “Perhaps you just don’t understand the enormous upsides at play.”

  “Oh, am I not smart enough to get it? Is it something a simple stable hand couldn’t understand?” Jax scowled at him. This was familiar ground; Jax was always insecure about the fact that he wasn’t really educated, and Miles had a way of sticking a thumb right into that wound. “You don’t have to be a boy genius to understand this. Tilla and I had plans tonight. And you screwed them up.”

  “For the fifth time, I’m sorry,” Miles said, clearly not sorry. “I didn’t know the two of you had this tradition. But try to just step back and see the bigger picture. This is the Princess of Noveris herself, and we have an opportunity to get in her good graces! Do you understand what a rare opportunity this is?” He pulled out one hand, jabbing a finger emphatically in the air. “I mean, just think about it. Five years from now, she’s reigning. She wants to improve relations with the West. Who will she reach out to? Why, the people she just so happened to have an amazing night with! And what if she wants to bring someone in, to serve as a new ambassador? Are you not getting this, Tilla? This could be our ticket to Lightspire!”

  He’d been going on like this the whole time, and I hated to admit that it was starting to work. Not that I thought it was likely or anything. Of course not. And I was still really pissed at him for ruining my tradition with Jax. But I couldn’t help starting to picture myself all dressed up in a sparkling dress like Lyriana’s, strolling across some glimmering Lightspire pavilion, arm in arm with some gorgeous Volaris Prince….

  “And what about me?” Jax asked. “Where exactly do I fit into this scenario?”

  “You could come as Tilla’s servant?” Miles tried.

  “That’s right!” I leaned up and ruffled Jax’s messy hair. “You’ll be my manservant! You’ll fetch me wine and wash my clothes and carry me around when I feel tired. But don’t worry, dear servant. I’ll make sure to put in a good word with all those pretty Lightspire girls.”

  “I’ve heard they’re really pretty,” Jax sighed.

  A barely muffled chuckle echoed from down the tunnel. Zell was leaning against a wall, cloaked in shadow, but I could still make out his long hair, and glinting through the darkness, his brown eyes. He’d gone back to his father after the feast, and I’d assumed he’d just ditch us, but then I found him patiently waiting for us down in the tunnels, even though I hadn’t told him how to get in. A rational part of my brain was still kind of afraid of him; the Zitochi had been our mortal enemies just a few years ago. But for whatever reason, I didn’t think he’d hurt us. There was just something…honorable about him, even when he seemed dangerous—like the kind of guy who wouldn’t hesitate to kill you in a fight but wouldn’t dare stab you in the back.

  Jax obviously didn’t see it. “You think something’s funny?” He spat out the pit of his peach, and it bounced off the wall with a clatter. “Hey! I’m talking to you, glassie!”

  I winced. Slurs were still popular around the stables. “What are you even doing here?” Jax demanded.

  “I thought we were going to the Endless Ocean.” Zell shrugged, but his eyes weren’t smiling. “Or did that invitation not extend to ‘glassies’?”

  “Why would you care about the ocean?” Jax asked. “I mean, you do know you can’t kill it or eat it, right?”

  “Oh, really? That’s a shame.” Zell stepped forward, his brow furrowed, and there was something terrifyingly untamed about him. I wondered just how quickly he could pull that sword out of the sheath across his back. “I was in such a mood to kill something tonight.”

  “No one’s killing anything.” I tried to push my way forward so I could get between them. “Both of you, calm down!” But neither one of
them seemed to hear me because they were already doing that stupid lock-on-each-other thing guys do when they’re about to fight. Jax rolled up his sleeves. Zell bounced lightly on the balls of his feet.

  “Excuse me?” a thin voice called from right above us. “Could someone possibly help me down, please?”

  I looked up. The tile overhead had been pulled aside, and there was Princess Lyriana’s head, poking down through the hexagonal hole in the tunnels’ roof. “Please? I think someone’s coming! I need to get down now!

  “Uh, sure!” Jax rushed under her, even as Zell slunk back into the shadows. “Just come down slowly…one foot first, and then—”

  Before he could finish, Lyriana tumbled down through the hole. For someone so beautiful, it was probably the least graceful fall I’d ever seen. She hurtled head over heels with a squeak and landed upside down, right in Jax’s arms. Her gorgeous white dress, which she was still for some reason wearing, flopped up over her head, leaving her skinny legs kicking in the air and her gloved hands flailing. Jax froze in place, his arms stiff, as if he were holding the world’s most precious sack of potatoes. “What do I do?”

  “Put her down, you idiot!” Miles yelled. Jax flipped Lyriana over, setting her down gently so she was standing on the cold, dusty ground. She beamed at me with the biggest smile I’d ever seen.

  “I did it! Titans’ blessing, I actually did it!” She bounced up and down. “I didn’t think I would because my uncle left a guard by my door, but he left to relieve himself, and when he did, I snuck out and I ran to the baths and I even hid some clothes in my bed to make it look like I was still there!” She clapped her hands together. “I’ve never done anything like this before! This is so amazing!”

  I looked at Miles, and he shot back a wide grin. This was actually working. Against all odds, somehow his ridiculous plan was actually paying off.

  “Oh, I’m so glad to see you again, Miles of House Hampstedt!” Lyriana went on. “And you! Zell of the Zitochi! And you!” She turned to Jax. “Thank you for catching me, kind sir. To whom do I owe the pleasure?”