Royal Bastards

by Andrew Shvarts

He opened his eyes to look at me, and now I could see that whatever wall he’d been trying to put up between us was crumbling fast. He didn’t say anything for a while, then finally his breathing hitched and the words slipped out, like he couldn’t bear to hold them in a second longer. “Her name was Kalia.”

  “Her…the girl? The one you slept with?” Was that what this about? Was Zell this broken up over some girl back home? I hated to admit it, but I felt a jealous sting.

  “Yes,” Zell said. “Kalia Vale. She was the daughter of the Chief of Clan Vale, one of Clan Gaul’s greatest allies. And she was betrothed to my brother.”

  “Oh,” I said, and that jealousy turned to something else, a cold, rising dread. “Razz, you mean?”

  Zell nodded. “She was beautiful and smart and had a true kindness in her. We’d been friends since childhood. We told each other our secrets, we shared our dreams, we made each other laugh. We were each other’s first kiss, first love, all of it. I begged my father to let me marry her, but Razz was the older son, and we needed to secure Clan Vale’s alliance. So she was made his.” The words were just spilling out now, and there was no stopping them. How long had Zell kept this bottled up? Had he ever talked to anyone about it? “I swallowed my pride, and she swallowed hers. But she deserved so, so much better. I found her one morning outside my room, shivering, naked, wrapped in just a blanket. She’d defied Razz, told him she would leave him if he ever laid hands on her again. And he’d…he’d hurt her. Beat her. Used her.” Zell’s brow furrowed with rage, and hate danced in his eyes. But for once, I felt like there was no barrier between us, that he was speaking to me without holding anything back. It made my heart ache with his pain. And it scared the hell out of me. “I took her in. I swore I’d never let my brother harm her again. So the next day, I challenged him to a tain rhel lok.”

  “A duel,” I guessed.

  Zell nodded. “A duel to the death. The highest challenge of a Zitochi warrior, offered before the eyes of the Gods themselves. There was no turning back. And Razz, he just laughed and accepted it. My father gathered all the Chieftains to watch. I swore the last rites. I put on my paint. I met Razz in the Hall of Gods. And when he saw my face, when he saw how angry I was, I think that was the only time he ever looked scared.” Zell was starting to choke up a little, his voice scratchy and raw. “I was so angry, so Gods-damned angry. I kept thinking of the bruises on Kalia’s neck, the tears in her eyes. I hated Razz so much then. I beat the hell out of him. I knocked him down, kicked his daggers away, and put my sword to his neck.” Zell breathed deeply. His eyes glistened. “And I couldn’t do it, Tilla. Even with how much I hated him, how much I loved Kalia, I couldn’t kill my own brother. I was weak. I was a coward. I spared him.” His voice was filled with disgust.

  “You showed mercy, Zell,” I said softly. “That’s not weakness. It’s strength.”

  “It was the greatest shame Clan Gaul had ever experienced,” Zell said. “You do not show mercy in a tain rhel lok. Not with the Gods watching. Not before the Chieftains of all the clans. My father was furious. He beat me half to death. Broke my arm. Gave me this.” He reached down and touched a long, crooked scar on his stomach. “Worse than that, he disowned me. I lost my title, my rank, my home. I became a bastard, to live forever in dishonor, trying to atone for my failure.” A tear ran down Zell’s cheek. “That night, Kalia told Razz that she loved me. And she would sooner join the zhindain, the clanless women, than ever be his wife. So he choked Kalia to death and left her body in the snow just outside my window.”

  “Zell…I—I’m…” I stammered. “I’m so sorry.”

  “He knew, you see. He knew that if anyone found out what he’d done, Clan Gaul would be shamed and sullied in the eyes of the Twelve. Kalia’s father would demand all of our hands. My father would never yield. It would be war in the hall of Zhal Korso, clan against clan, bloodshed the likes of which we haven’t seen in centuries.” Another tear streaked down Zell’s face, then another. “So I took her body, and I buried her, far away in the woods, where no one would find her. I told lies about how she was planning to flee to the South and said nothing when others called her a coward, a traitor, a runaway. Razz killed her and left her because he knew, he knew I’d cover it up for him. That was exactly what he wanted.” Zell brushed his cheek, then showed me the back of his hand. The nightglass blades growing out of his knuckles sparkled darkly in the Sunstone’s light, their tips looking sharper and deadlier than ever. “That’s why I got these. Not just as a weapon. But as a reminder. To never show mercy. To never be weak. To never let someone hurt me like that again.” He was breathing fast now, his nostrils flaring. “Every day I look at these, and all I can think about is how much I failed her!”

  “Zell, please,” I tried, but I was crying too, now, because finally, after all this time, he made sense. His coldness, his distance, his insistence on running—all of it was an armored front put on to battle a greater pain than any I had ever known. He had stuck with us, protected us without hesitation, because he knew exactly what would happen if he didn’t. He could have left us. Instead, he chose to face his worst nightmare every time Razz got close.

  I reached out and took his hand, ran my finger along the knuckle, where cold stone met warm skin. “You kept us safe with these hands,” I said. “You saved us a dozen times over, kept us alive, helped us cross an entire Province. If it wasn’t for you, we’d all be dead. I’d be dead.”

  “I showed weakness,” Zell repeated, like he couldn’t bring himself to hear me. “I killed Kalia.”

  “No. Razz killed Kalia. And he killed her because he’s a vicious, evil piece of shit.” I clutched his hand tight. “But your mercy, your kindness, isn’t weakness. It’s strength. It’s what guides you to protect others. It’s what separates you from Razz. It’s the best thing about you.” And then the words spilled out, like a surging river through a broken dam, because I just couldn’t keep them in anymore. “It’s why I love you.”

  He stared at me, stunned, and I couldn’t believe it, but he was actually shaking.

  “I’ll fail you,” he whispered. “I’ll let you down. I’ll get you killed. I can’t…I can’t…”

  “Shhh,” I whispered, and I couldn’t think of anything else to say, not with words, so I lifted his hand to my lips and I kissed it, so softly, like a Lord with a Lady at a courtly dance. I pressed my lips to him, right where nightglass met flesh, and I tasted cold, hard stone and soft, warm skin. Zell inhaled sharply, his bare chest heaving, but he didn’t pull away, so I kept kissing him, working my way along his hand, tenderly kissing each blade. He turned his hand around and ran his fingertip along my lips, and my heart was thundering and my cheeks were flushed.

  I could feel his breath on my skin, and when I looked up to meet his eyes, they were burning with a certainty I’d never seen before. A rush of heat spread through me. More. I needed more. I lifted my face and found his lips, slow and gentle at first. I felt him ease me onto his lap and my towel slipped into the dark water as I erased the distance between us, and the kisses became deeper, more frantic, as we breathed each other in.

  His hands were running through my hair, and I was clutching at the firm muscles of his back. We moved as one, melting together like wax streaking down a candle, and as he whispered my name again and again, my hands tightened around his arms and I pressed my face into the crook of his shoulder, knowing in the deepest part of my being that this moment would always, always be ours.

  Afterward, we lay on the bench inside the pool’s edge, my cheek pressed against his bare chest while he cradled me with one strong arm, the water lapping against our hips. We didn’t say anything. We didn’t have to. We just lay together, and sometimes I’d lean up and kiss him, and sometimes he’d bend down and kiss me, and he held me close and I traced my fingertips along his thigh as I listened to his heart beat in his chest. The water was cold, but he was so, so warm.

  And I felt safe, and I felt right, and I felt the happiest I thought
I’d ever felt in my entire life.

  I WENT BACK TO MY room an hour later, but not before Zell left me with the best kiss I’d ever had. I’m not saying Lyriana was totally wrong with her special-moment thing. But this kiss was pretty damn special. Still glowing inside, I collapsed in my bed and fell into the deepest and richest sleep of my life.

  I woke up hours later, and when I threw open the windows, the sky was the soft pink of sunset. I’d slept through the entire day. Again.

  I lay in my bed for a while, just letting the events of last night play out over and over in my head. I had to keep forcing myself to acknowledge it hadn’t been a dream.

  I might have lay there for another couple of hours, just soaking up the memories, but a commotion from the courtyard roused me from bed. I peeked out the window and saw that the Nest’s gates were open, and the Castle’s wide, grassy courtyard was covered in a throng of people. Women, by the looks of them, from Lightspire, all wearing faint green robes with gossamer veils over their faces. Were they…

  “The Sisters of Kaia!” Lyriana cried in my doorway, helpfully answering my question. “They’re here! Even Archmatron Marlena! Come on, Tilla! You have to meet them!”

  I followed after Lyriana, down the tower’s winding staircase, through the sprawling Great Hall that connected all of the Nest’s wings, and out the heavy wooden doors to the courtyard. Galen was there, a dour look on his face, and he was talking to one of the Sisters. She was tall, taller than him, and had a confident, refined air that told me she had to be someone in power. She turned to us as we approached, and even through the veil, I could see her emerald eyes glow with excitement.

  “Novice Lyriana,” she said, her voice matronly and warm. “We had all mourned your passing when the Whispers came. It is a wonder and honor to see you again.”

  Maybe the Lyriana I’d met back at Castle Waverly would have responded with equal decorum, but the Lyriana who’d tromped her way through the Western Province had no time for that. She ran over and grabbed the woman in a hug. “Archmatron! I am so, so happy to see you again!”

  The older woman stepped back, trying to maintain some dignity, but patted Lyriana gently on the back. She had at least three Rings on each finger, green and turquoise and lavender, and they clinked together very lightly as she moved. “Your help will be greatly needed in the coming days. I fear a terrible war is coming, perhaps even more terrible than the last, and its first battle will be fought in these very lands. We must be ready to take care of the wounded, to evacuate civilians, to offer aid and sustenance.”

  I looked around the courtyard. There were definitely a lot of Sisters there, maybe thirty or forty, all of them standing stiff and composed, waiting, presumably, to be told what to do. If they were curious about us, their posture didn’t betray it. Their Rings sparkled in the sun. I wondered how much good they could actually do, how many lives they would be able to save.

  Heavy footsteps padded toward us. I turned around to see Jax stumbling into the courtyard, looking green and very, very hungover. And just behind him was Zell. For a second, I was afraid to look at him. What if he looked away? What if last night had just been a drunken mistake for him? What if when I went to kiss him, he pushed me away? What if he still just wanted to leave?

  Then his deep dark eyes met mine, and he smiled, and I knew I had nothing to worry about.

  “Your mission is truly noble, Archmatron,” Galen said. He had this way of making you feel like he was totally sincere and lying through his teeth at the same time. “And I wouldn’t dream of interfering with it. But right now I need to prepare my men for Lord Kent’s arrival. And you need to go back to your camp.”

  The older woman turned back to Galen, confusion written all over her face. “I don’t understand. Why did you summon us, then?”

  Galen blinked. “Why did I what?”

  “Why did you summon us?” the Archmatron repeated. “You sent a Whisper telling us to come straight here to make plans for an evacuation.”

  “No, I didn’t,” Galen said, every muscle in his body tensing at once. He spun around to the guards standing alongside the hall’s door. “Something’s wrong. Something’s very wro—”

  He was cut off by the trumpeting of horns overhead, from the Castle’s watchtowers. “No!” Galen gasped, and then I heard it, suddenly deafening, the thunder of hooves, the rearing of horses spurred into action. Outside the Nest’s open gates, past the courtyard, the tree line shuddered and then burst apart as a dozen men on horseback raced out, swords glinting in their hands. Their faces were hidden behind black helms, and their armor was red and gold.

  Kent colors.

  The trumpets overhead blared again, louder, more urgent. The guards at the gate scrambled to slam them shut, but they were too late, too slow. A volley of arrows whistled out from the tree line, and tore through them. A single shaft flew into the courtyard and caught one of the Sisters in the back of the skull.

  “No!” I shouted, but I was drowned out by the noise around me, by the yells of men, by the screaming of the Sisters, by the roar of horses. A hand grabbed mine, its knuckles sharp and cold. Zell was by my side. The archers all along the castle ramparts fired back, dropping a few of my father’s men, but most of their arrows hit only empty earth. The riders were moving too fast. The front line had already closed half the distance between the tree line and the gate, and more were emerging from the trees, a second row of riders followed by charging footmen.

  They were going to take the castle. They were going to take us.

  The Sisters around us were panicking, that refined composure lost in a second as they screamed and ran. Archmatron Marlena barked orders at them, demanding they stay calm. Jax sprang forward and grabbed Lyriana’s hand. There was no sign of Miles. I looked up at Zell and found his eyes hard, ready.

  “Get inside!” Galen yelled. “Run!” And yeah, that was probably a better plan than fighting an entire army on our own. We turned and sprinted as a group, racing across the wide lawn back toward the Great Hall’s closed doors. The earth shook underfoot as the horses grew closer. I heard more screaming, the twang of bows, and now the clang of steel on steel. A man shrieked as he plunged off the walls, and his body hit the ground with a wet thump. Everything was so loud, it sounded like the fighting wasn’t just behind me but all around me, in the Hall, on the ramparts above. But that didn’t make any sense.

  I didn’t have time to think about it. Leading the pack, with Zell at my side and the others behind me, I lunged up the stone steps to the Great Hall, and pulled open the doors….

  And found Razz’s grinning face, his nightglass fangs sparkling.

  I pulled back with a stifled scream and threw a jab at his face. But Razz was fast, so much faster. He effortlessly grabbed my wrist and twisted it, jamming it hard against my back. I yelped, and then I saw them, his entire mercenary band, standing alongside him in the Great Hall. Their nightglass blades were out, dripping crimson. Bodies lay behind them, Galen’s guardsmen, throats slit, heads crushed, chests ragged. Something warm and wet oozed over my feet. I didn’t look down.

  Razz shoved me in front of himself like a shield and spun me around so I was facing my friends, so I could see their faces as they realized just how screwed we were. We were trapped, with my father’s men charging up on one side and Razz’s thugs on the other. Galen threw up his hands, a despairing look on his face. Jax stepped protectively in front of Lyriana. Behind them, the horsemen breached the gates and rode into the courtyard, circling the Sisters and forcing them to their knees. There was still some scattered fighting, swords clanging on the distant ramparts, but the battle was over. The Lord had surrendered. The castle had been taken.

  How? How the hell had this happened? How had they gotten in? How had it all gone so wrong, so fast?

  Zell alone didn’t surrender. He had his sword in one hand and his dagger in the other, and his eyes burned a hole through me and Razz, as he calculated any possible way to save me.

  Razz was h
aving none of it. “Drop the weapon, snow cub,” he taunted. “Or your new girlfriend will find out exactly what happens to bitches who get in my way.”

  Zell’s grip on his sword loosened. I struggled with all my might, but Razz was too strong and holding me too well. Damn it. Damn it! All that training, all that practice, and it hadn’t made any difference.

  Razz sighed with annoyance and jerked my head to the side, then pressed his nightglass fangs to my throat. I could smell his sour breath and feel the fangs’ sharp prick. “Now!”

  “Don’t do it,” I begged, but it was no use. Zell let his blades fall to the ground.

  “Never change, baby brother.” Razz laughed. He reared his head back, mouth agape, fangs ready. My heart thundered. I sucked in my breath. I’d failed my friends. I’d failed my brother. I was going to die. I was really going to die.

  “Let her go,” a stern voice commanded from the courtyard. It was the leader of the riders, a tall armored man, and he took off his helm as he hopped down from his horse. I already knew who he was, though.

  I’d recognize my father’s voice anywhere.

  Time seemed to slow down as he approached us, striding confidently past the rows of kneeling Sisters. I’d never seen my father fully armored before. An ornate metal breastplate guarded his chest, and fine chain mail hung low over his arms. A sword was sheathed along his back, and his daggers hung at his hips. But his face was just how I remembered it, his hair neatly combed, his beard nicely groomed, his eyes as cold and resolute as ever.

  He was here. My father was really here. Looking at me. Just fifteen feet away.

  Saving my life.

  “Let her go,” he said again. “Now.”

  Why was he protecting me? Didn’t he want me dead? Was he going to kill me himself? Or did he actually plan on sparing me? Was it possible he really did care?

  Why the hell was I still thinking like this?

  Razz grumbled but shoved me forward, into the ranks of Jax and Zell. I pulled myself behind them, and as I looked at my father I felt way too many emotions at once, relief and fear and gratitude and something else, something I was afraid was still love. “I don’t see why we can’t just kill them…” Razz said.