Shakespeare's Hamlet in Plain English

by C.J. B.

Scene 2

  (the King’s court)

  Flourish of trumpets. Enter Claudius, Gertrude, Hamlet, Voltemand, Cornelius,

  Polonius, Laertes and Courtiers

  King Though the memory of our dear brother’s death is still fresh, and it would be proper for us to bear our hearts in grief, for our whole kingdom to join together in mourning, we should not allow ourselves to be overcome by sorrow. We have to be sensible and reasonable in our grieving for him, not forgetting that we must continue with our own lives. And so to my former sister-in-law, now our queen, who shares with me the lands of this country. It was with a subdued sense of joy, a mixture of gladness and sorrow, that we married. The funeral was not without a certain sense of merriment, our marriage not without a sense of grief, an occasion of both delight and sadness in equal measure. We have endeavoured to act in accordance with your wisdom and advice. You supported and willingly permitted this marriage. I’d like to express my gratitude to you all. The next piece of news I have for you is that young Prince Fortinbras of Norway, someone who holds us in low regard, believes our country to be in a state of turmoil and disarray following our dear brother’s death. He believes us to be vulnerable as a result and that this has afforded him an advantage. Under such false impressions, he has made numerous demands that we surrender those lands which were lost by his father and subsequently claimed, quite legally, by our most valiant brother. Which brings us to the reason we are gathered here at this time. We have much important business to attend to. The situation in Norway is somewhat similar to our own. King Fortinbras was succeeded by his brother and not by his son, a somewhat irresponsible youth who appears to have very grand designs and aspirations for himself. We have here a writ to the King of Norway. The King is weak and bedridden, scarcely aware of his nephew’s activities. This writ demands that the King put a stop to the actions of his nephew. I’m sure he’ll view it most favourably, particularly since the finances and the people enlisted to comprise the military forces supporting his nephew’s purposes, are all his. They’re his subjects, and they’re acting without any official consent, even without his knowledge. I’m therefore dispatching you Cornelius, and you Voltemand, to convey this message to the King of Norway. You have the power to negotiate on our behalf so far as these detailed articles permit. Farewell. You demonstrate your allegiance to your country by the speed and efficiency with which you conduct this mission.

  Cornelius In this, as in all things, we will do our duty to the utmost of our abilities.

  King We do not doubt it. Farewell.

  Exit Voltemand and Cornelius

  And now, Laertes, what’s the news with you? You spoke of some request. You must tell me what it is Laertes, what it is that you want, which I will not give without your asking for it. As my trusted councillor, your father is an integral and most important figure within the governing body of Denmark. What would you ask of me, Laertes?

  Laertes My liege, I seek your leave to return to France, from where, though willingly I came to Denmark as a matter of duty, to attend your coronation, I must confess, now that I have fulfilled that obligation I’m concerned with returning to pursue my interests in France. I surrender my wishes to your gracious leave.

  King Have you your father’s permission? Polonius?

  Polonius He has, my lord, after much petition, finally received my permission. Though it was not without some reluctance that I granted my consent. I do beseech that you give him leave to go.

  King Make the most of your youth, Laertes. Your time is yours to do with as you please. You may turn your abilities to whatever purposes you desire. And now, my cousin Hamlet, and my son.

  Hamlet Though closely related, we aren’t really on the best of terms.

  King Why do you remain so despondent?

  Hamlet Not so, my lord, I am, after all, still the King’s son.

  Queen Hamlet, you should relinquish this dark and sombre mood. Consider the King as your friend. There is no need for you to remain in this downcast state, preoccupied with your father. You know it to be the inevitable fate that awaits us all. Everything that lives must die, passing through nature into eternity.

  Hamlet Yes, madam, it is common.

  Queen Why must this matter feel so much more consuming with you?

  Hamlet Feel, madam? You understate the matter. For me, mourning my father’s death is not simply about the wearing of customary black attire, or presenting a gloomy expression, or indeed any of the overt displays of sorrow that might be exhibited. These are merely actions that an actor might perform. What is within me cannot be outwardly expressed in such a manner; these constitute only the trappings of sadness and grief.

  King It is commendable, Hamlet, that you are showing this much respect towards your father, but you must know your father lost a father, that father lost, lost his; in each case the surviving son bound, for some term, to show obsequious sorrow. But to continue this obstinate grieving serves only to demonstrate an impious stubbornness. It is unmanly and inappropriate. I would say even irreligious. It’s as though you’re ignoring the reverence and discipline that religion teaches us. Our demise is inescapable, death one of the commonest things we know. So why display such a perverse and intransigent engrossment in mourning? Though it is something by which we are distressed, we should not allow it to become an obsession, to become something by which we are dominated. It is a sin against God and against the dead, an offence to the natural order of things, to exhibit this absurd and protracted behaviour over the death of your father. We pray that you overcome this state of sadness, this depression, and consider the rest of us instead. Let the world take note that you are the most immediate to the throne of Denmark. With the noble love a father shows his son, I will always impart to you my generosity. Regarding your intention to return to university in Wittenberg, this is something we really would prefer that you did not do. We beseech that you to remain here with us. You are our main courtier and our son.

  Queen I do not want to have to worry about you, Hamlet. I pray that you stay with us. Go not to Wittenberg.

  Hamlet I shall, to the best of my ability, obey your wishes.

  King A loving and dutiful reply. Remain with us in Denmark. Madam, come. Hamlet’s agreement gives me much pleasure. In thanksgiving, we will rejoice. The cannon shall be fired; while we are enjoying ourselves its noise will resound in the heavens. Come, we shall leave.

  Exit all but Hamlet

  Hamlet O that the flesh is weak and prone to immorality and sin. If only this could be changed, if we could all become honourable and virtuous, altruistic, benevolent. If only suicide was not forbidden by religious law. O God! God! How weary, stale, flat and unprofitable everything about this world seems to be. It is a world possessed entirely by a sinister corruption underlying the façade of decent civilisation, the product of the unprincipled, unscrupulous proclivities and self-interest of people. That it should come to this! My father dead not two months and so excellent a king, a god by comparison to a beast, so loving to my mother that he would not even permit the winds to blow too harshly upon her face. It was as if her appetite for him grew the more they were together. And yet within a month - let me not think about this - after having barely worn the shoes in which she followed my poor father’s coffin - why, even an animal, incapable of logical and rational thought, would have mourned longer - she married my father’s brother. But he is nothing like my father. There is nothing in common between those two. Within a month of the pretence which was her grief, the tears of her disingenuous mourning, her insincerity betrayed by her conduct, she married; deliberately entering into this incestuous relationship, seizing the opportunity to do so almost without hesitation. No good can come of this. It causes me yet more grief that I must hold my tongue, for I can hardly confront anyone over my feelings on this matter.

  Enter Horatio, Marcellus and Barnardo

  Horatio Hail to your lordship.

  Hamlet I am glad
to see you well, Horatio.

  Horatio And I you, my lord, ever you poor servant.

  Hamlet My good friend, you need not address me in that manner. We are equals. Marcellus (acknowledging Marcellus).

  Marcellus My good lord.

  Hamlet Greetings to you, sir (to Barnardo). What are you doing here, away from Wittenberg (to Horatio)?

  Horatio A truant disposition, my good lord.

  Hamlet I would not hear your enemy say that of you. Nor shall you say such unfavourable things about yourself. I know you are no truant. But what is your affair in Elsinore? You’ll be taught to drink well before you leave us (sly allusion to the King’s excessive drinking habits).

  Horatio My lord, I came to see your father’s funeral.

  Hamlet Please do not insult my intelligence, fellow student. I think it was to see my mother’s wedding.

  Horatio Indeed, my lord, it followed surprisingly soon.

  Hamlet Thrift, thrift, Horatio. The meats roasted for the funeral were served cold at the wedding. I’d rather meet my worst enemy in Heaven than to have seen that day, Horatio. My father, I believe I see my father.

  Horatio Where, my lord?

  Hamlet In my mind’s eye, Horatio.

  Horatio He was a noble and respected king.

  Hamlet He was the ideal of manhood, admirable in every way. I shall not encounter a person of his like again.

  Horatio My lord, I think I saw him last night?

  Hamlet Saw? Who?

  Horatio My lord, the King your father.

  Hamlet My father?

  Horatio Temper your surprise for a moment, that you may listen more attentively as I tell you of this marvel that both these gentlemen and I have witnessed.

  Hamlet For the love of God, let me hear of it!

  Horatio On two consecutive nights, these gentlemen, Marcellus and Barnardo, while on their watch, out in the most desolate areas in the middle of the night, encountered it. A figure like your father, in armour, and exact in every detail from head to toe appeared before them and, in a solemn and stately manner, marched slowly by. Three times he walked past them, to their fear and astonishment, coming within a baton’s length, while they, overwhelmed by terror, stood in silence and did not speak to him. This they reported to me in total secrecy and in response I decided to accompany them on their next watch, during which, just as they had described and at the time they stated, every word of what they had told me proving true, the apparition appeared. I knew your father. It looked exactly as he did.

  Hamlet But where was this?

  Horatio My lord, upon the platform where we watch.

  Hamlet Did you not speak to it?

  Horatio My lord, I did, but it made no reply. Yet at one point it lifted up its head as though it were about to speak. But at that very moment the morning cock crew loud, and at the sound it shrunk away in haste and vanished from our sight.

  Hamlet ‘tis very strange.

  Horatio My honoured lord, I swear to you it is true. And we believed it our duty to let you know of it.

  Hamlet Indeed, sirs; but this troubles me. Are you on guard duty again tonight?

  All We are, my lord.

  Hamlet In his armour, you say?

  All In his armour, my lord.

  Hamlet From top to toe?

  All My lord, from head to foot.

  Hamlet Then you did not see his face?

  Horatio O yes, my lord, he wore his visor up.

  Hamlet How did he look, frowningly?

  Horatio A countenance more of sorrow than anger.

  Hamlet Pale, or red?

  Horatio Oh, very pale.

  Hamlet And he fixed his eyes upon you?

  Horatio Most constantly.

  Hamlet I wish I had been there.

  Horatio It would have astounded you.

  Hamlet I believe it would. Did it stay long?

  Horatio Counting with moderate haste, one may have reached a hundred.

  Marcellus No, longer.

  Horatio Not when I saw it.

  Hamlet His beard was grey, no?

  Horatio It was as I have seen it when he was alive, black with silver hairs.

  Hamlet I will watch tonight. Perhaps it will appear again.

  Horatio I warrant it will.

  Hamlet If it assumes the appearance of my noble father, I’ll speak to it though the mouth of Hell may open and deter me from this action, should it prove the case that I am in fact communicating with some evil spirit. I ask that you all, if you have until now kept from divulging your knowledge of this, maintain your silence. And whatever else shall occur tonight, we can try to understand the motives of this spirit but we must not reveal any of this. I will reward your friendship. So I’ll meet with you tonight upon the platform between eleven and twelve.

  All Our duty is to your honour.

  Hamlet Friendship is my duty to you. Farewell.

  Exit Horatio, Barnardo and Marcellus

  My father’s spirit, in arms! All is not well. I suspect some foul play, a possible explanation for a ghost’s appearance being that it wishes to bring to our attention an act of treachery or evil. However, I must remain patient until late tonight. Some crime, concealed from the knowledge of us earthly mortals, will be revealed.

  Scene 3

  (somewhere inside the castle)

  Enter Laertes and Ophelia

  Laertes My belongings are all ready for the journey. Farewell. And sister, when the winds are favourable and there is a ship bound for France, let me hear from you.

  Ophelia Do you doubt that I would?

  Laertes Regarding Hamlet; he is merely toying with your affections. For him, what there is between you is little more than a passing phase, a youthful dalliance. His feelings for you will not last; they are not genuine or wholehearted.

  Ophelia Do you really believe this is true?

  Laertes Do not seek to further this relationship; think of it no more. As time passes, the demands made of him will increase. He is not in a position, as ordinary people are, to decide his own future or to simply live as he pleases. He is a subject of his position as a Prince. There will be many affairs to which he will be forced to devote himself, matters of such importance that they will outweigh his love for you. In the future, the well-being of the entire country will be in his hands if he becomes king. Perhaps he does love you now; perhaps his intentions towards you will remain honourable for the time being; but in this high position he will have much important business to attend to, obligations he will be compelled to fulfil, things which will demand all of his time and attention. He will have commitments and responsibilities to society and to the state. Even if, as our country’s monarch, assuming he will eventually be elected, he says he loves you, as you believe he does, and affirms his love by asking you to marry him, this will still be subject to the approval of the people. Consider the pain and torment you will endure should you place too great a faith in the love he professes to feel for you now only for him to break your heart or for you to realise he’s simply using you to satisfy his undisciplined lust. I urge you to take heed of my advice and restrain your affections for him. Protect yourself from the heartache that trusting Hamlet’s protestations of love will cause you in the future. You do not need to submit to any of his demands, though even remaining virtuous does not escape slander. Youth is a time of optimism and idealism, yet our hopes and dreams so often prove despairingly unrealistic. Be wary then. In fear lies safety. Youth rebels, naturally, against itself. As we get older, our youthful ambitions change. Desires and intentions evolve and reform.

  Ophelia I will keep in mind what you have told me; I know you have only my best interests at heart. But I ask that you do not, as some unprincipled men in your position do, insist that others be disciplined and self-sacrificing, harsh upon themselves for their own good, only to disregard their own advice, proudly and recklessly leading a libertine life, one of indulgence and
dalliance.

  Laertes Do not fear for me. I must leave now.

  Enter Polonius

  Here comes my father. A double blessing is a double grace. My departure is indeed a happy occasion.

  Polonius Still here, Laertes? You’d better board your ship; they’re waiting for you. The winds are blowing favourably. My blessing goes with you and may these few precepts be engraved into your memory. Do not make your feelings known to others, or act imprudently or impulsively, without thinking through the consequences of your actions. With those you encounter on your travels, be affable but do not lower your standards by stooping to the level of those less estimable than yourself. Whatever friends you have, once their friendship has been tested and affirmed, keep them very close; but do not endeavour to make friends with every young man you meet. Beware of entering into a quarrel, but if this is unavoidable, ensure that you conduct yourself in such a way that your opponent is left wary of you and less than willing to confront you further. Listen to what other people have to say, but talk with few; be careful of revealing your own views and beliefs to others who may have very different ideas. Accept each man’s criticism, but reserve your own judgment. Your clothing is the most expensive money can buy, but it is not adorned with elaborate trimmings. It isn’t gaudy or exorbitant. A man’s clothing often reveals his character. French noblemen exhibit the height of good judgement and taste when it comes to their attire. Their clothes are the finest and most refined you’ll see. Neither a borrower nor a lender be, for loans often result in the loss of both what you lend and the friendship of those to whom you have lent, and borrowing impairs your ability manage your own finances with economy. Above all else, be true to yourself, and it must then follow, as surely as night follows day, that deceitfulness and dishonesty cannot be part of your character. Farewell. May my blessing fortify these precepts in you.

  Laertes Most humbly do I take my leave, my lord.

  Polonius Time is moving on, you’d better go.

  Laertes Farewell, Ophelia, and remember well what I have said to you.

  Ophelia It is sealed in my memory.

  Laertes Farewell.

  Exit Laertes.

  Polonius What is it, Ophelia, that he has said to you?

  Ophelia Something concerning Lord Hamlet.

  Polonius Oh, yes, I remember. I’m told that of late he has very often spent a lot of time alone with you, and that you have listened most willingly and at length to what he has had to say. If this is so, as I am reliably informed it is, then I must warn you that you do not fully appreciate what is appropriate for my daughter as well as for your own honour. What is going on between you? Give me the truth.

  Ophelia He has, my lord, of late, made many declarations of his affection towards me.

  Polonius Affection? You speak of it like a green girl, inexperienced in such dangerous matters. Do you believe these declarations of affection to be sincere?

  Ophelia I do not know, my lord, what I should think.

  Polonius Marry (used to add emphasis to what one is saying), I will teach you. You may consider yourself to be about as worldly-wise as a young child seeing how you have mistakenly believed these protestations of love to be genuine, which, of course, they are not. You must be more careful in these affairs; otherwise it will look as though I have a fool for a daughter.

  Ophelia My lord, he has sought my love in an honourable fashion.

  Polonius Yes, fashion you may call it. Go on, go on.

  Ophelia And has sworn his feelings to be true.

  Polonius You have foolishly allowed yourself to be ensnared by mere words. I know, when feelings of passion burn, how profoundly such desires can compel a man to swear that his love is indeed earnest and heartfelt. These flaring passions, my daughter, may be ardent and true in outward appearance but are, in actuality, of little substance. You must not allow yourself to be deluded by such promises. From this time on, see Hamlet infrequently. Refuse to meet with him unless it is necessary. Lord Hamlet is young and he is someone who may conduct himself with less restriction than you. In short, Ophelia, do not believe his promises, for they are not what they would appear to be. Though he will endeavour to persuade you that they are real, his intention is to beguile you. This is all I have to say. In plain terms, from this time forth, I will not have you misuse your leisure by talking with Lord Hamlet. You are to comply with my wishes. Now come along.

  Ophelia I shall obey, my lord.