Shakespeare's Hamlet in Plain English
Page 5
Act 2
Scene 1
(somewhere inside the castle)
Enter Polonius with his man Reynaldo
Polonius Give him this money and these letters, Reynaldo.
Reynaldo I will, my lord.
Polonius You’d be doing me a great service, Reynaldo, if before you visit him, you make a few not too conspicuous inquiries regarding what he’s doing.
Reynaldo My lord, I did intend it.
Polonuis Ah, that’s good. Now, sir, firstly I’d like you to enquire as to what Danish nationals are, at present, in Paris; also, how they came to be there, who they are, how much money they have, where they lodge, what company they keep, and at what expense; and find out, in a discreet manner, whether they know my son. A less obvious approach will obtain you more information than if you were to go about asking specific questions. Assume that you have only some distant knowledge of him, as though you know his father, and his friends, and, in some small way, him. Do you understand, Reynaldo?
Reynaldo Yes, my lord.
Polonius ‘In some small way. But’, you may say, ‘not well; but if it’s the person I mean, he’s very wild and ebullient’, and make whatever false accusations about him you please, but nothing so disgraceful as to dishonour him, take heed of that, just the usual faults of someone his age, the kind of wanton and wild behaviour normally associated with youth and liberty.
Reynaldo As gaming, my lord?
Polonius Ay, or drinking, fencing, swearing, quarrelling, frequenting prostitutes, but you may only go so far.
Reynaldo My lord, that would dishonour him.
Polonius Not really, you can moderate whatever you allege about him. You must not put any scandal on him, do not create the impression that he is predisposed to overindulgence and debauchery, that’s not what I mean. Just mention his faults in a charming and fanciful way, as though this is all simply the wildness and exuberance of youth, the typical behaviour of a young man who has been granted his freedom.
Reynaldo But my good lord.
Polonius For what purpose would I have you do this?
Reynaldo Yes, my lord, I would appreciate knowing that.
Polonius Well, sir, here’s my strategy, and I believe it is quite legitimate. When you engage someone in conversation, whoever you think it appropriate to talk with, and you happen to mention my son, and you claim these mildly disparaging, disreputable things of him, enquiring as to whether they have ever witnessed him behaving in the aforementioned manner, displaying such youthful recklessness and indiscipline; make sure they’re reliable and honest people. Be assured that their language naturally employs the following terms: ‘good sir’ or ‘friend’ or ‘gentleman’, according to their customary style or form of address, depending on where they are from.
Reynaldo Very good, my lord.
Polonius And then, sir, does, does….. what was I about to say? By the Mass (used to add emphasis to what one is saying), I was about to say something. Where did I leave off?
Reynaldo At ‘make sure they naturally employ the following terms’.
Polonius ‘Make sure they naturally employ the following terms’, yes, of course. They will reveal the information you wish to elicit, responding with something like: ‘I know the gentleman, I saw him yesterday’, or ‘the other day’, and then, ‘and as you say, he was gambling’, or ‘he was the worse for drinking’, or perhaps ‘I saw him enter a house of sale’, a brothel, and so forth. So you see now, your bait of falsehood takes this carp of truth; you’re suggesting various things about him to prompt them to reveal what they know. And in this way us men of wisdom and experience can, by such devious means, with manipulative and indirect questioning, discover the truth. So in accordance with my lecture and advice you shall carry out this assignment. You have understood me have you not?
Reynaldo My lord, I have.
Polonius God be with you, farewell.
Reynaldo Good, my lord.
Polonius Go along with whatever he wishes to do.
Reynaldo I shall, my lord.
Polonius And let him work at his music.
Reynaldo I will do my duty, my lord.
Exit Reynaldo
Enter Ophelia
Polonius Farewell. Well now, Ophelia, what’s the matter?
Ophelia O my lord, my lord, I was so affrighted.
Polonius Of what, in the name of God?
Ophelia My lord, as I was sewing in my closet, Lord Hamlet, with his doublet all unbraced, no hat upon his head (it was customary for gentlemen to wear hats at all times), his stockings around his ankles, his face as pale as his shirt, his knees knocking each other and with a look which seemed so piteous, as if he’d been released from Hell to speak of its horrors, he came before me.
Polonius Mad for thy love?
Ophelia My lord, I do not know, but truly I do fear it.
Polonius What did he say?
Ophelia He took me by the wrist and held me hard. Then he backed away, holding me at his arm’s length, and with his other hand like this (demonstrates) over his brow he made such a perusal of my face it was as though he wanted to draw it, so long was the time he spent doing this. Then finally, with a little shake of my arm, and waving his head up and down three times in this manner (demonstrates), he released a sigh so piteous and profound that it seemed to shatter his whole body and end his being, as though he were consumed by utter despondency. After that he let me go and with his head turned, constantly looking back over his shoulder, he seemed to find his way without looking where he was going as he left my room, and until the last moment fixed his gaze upon me.
Polonius Come with me, I will go and seek the King. This is the very madness of love, which by its own violent nature destroys itself, driving men to desperate undertakings with a compulsion comparable to any instinct that afflicts our nature. I am sorry; have you spoken harshly to him of late?
Ophelia No, my lord, but as you did command, I returned his letters and denied him access to me.
Polonius That has made him mad. I regret that I have not been more attentive of him. I feared he was merely trifling and meant to ruin you. But curse my suspicions! By Heaven, it is as typical for men of my age to be as ill-judged and unreasonable in our opinions as it is common for younger men to lack discretion. Come, we will go to the King. This must be made known; if we keep it to ourselves, hiding it from him now might eventually cause more trouble than would our revealing it forthwith. Come.