Addict (Cravings #1)

by Rachael Orman

  BadKitty2: No. I can’t. Its too embarrassing.

  Before I could respond again, she was gone. Running a hand over my face, I sighed. Well, that had been interesting. Even after all the time I’d spent watching her, learning about her life, I hadn’t found that incredibly interesting history. When I’d been given my choice of sign ons, I’d picked 21. Simple. For many reasons that number was meaningful in my life. 21, legal drinking age. 21, also, the number for doggie style, my favorite position. I never wanted a woman to face me, I didn’t need her face, I simply needed her body. But that was about me, I should’ve been thinking about Alix, officially my new client.

  Sexual addiction was a tough issue. So many people thought it was a joke and not nearly as serious as it could become. Seeing as she had already been through the program once, she knew what she had to do. It was my job to simply help her get her head back in the game and find the tools to resist again. Keeping myself impartial was going to be the challenge. Looking at the clock, I closed the laptop. It was time for my appointment.

  Taking the elevator down a few floors, I let myself into the room I normally used. A quick look around let me know the room was ready.

  Anthony and Megan were a young couple that, unlike most of my couples, never had a good sexual past. They were always on different wave lengths when it came to being intimate, but everything outside of the bedroom was great. When they first came to see me, they had come in because they were afraid lack of passion was going to affect their ability to get pregnant. After six months of trying, they hadn’t been successful so they hoped making it more pleasurable for both of them it would also increase the possibility of getting pregnant.

  I didn’t know about all that. They say when both partners experience an orgasm during sex it helps sperm in some way. Not my department. The last thing I wanted was a baby so I did what I always did. Found a way to make both of them happy. Most of my patients were more afraid to share their deepest, darkest desires with their partner than having actual physical or mental issues that kept them from being able to perform.

  After having a quick meeting with each of them, I let them have at it. Megan had wanted to have Anthony be more dominant in the bedroom. Anthony didn’t want to hurt his wife, not at all. Baby steps, one thing at a time, I’d told him. Leaning against the wall, I watched as they fucked doggy style. Anthony gathered her hair in his fist, tugging back slightly.

  “More,” Megan moaned in response.

  Anthony looked over his shoulder to gaze at me, stopping all movement. His eyes were wide and wild as if he didn’t know how to.

  Stepping up to the side of the bed, I grabbed his free hand and put it on her shoulder, then wrapped my hand around the one that was filled with her hair and pulled ever so slightly back.

  “Hold her shoulder, pull her back to you. Don’t be afraid to slowly pull harder on her hair. Her moans will tell you when you’ve reached her threshold,” I instructed him as he started to thrust again. I returned to my position against the wall. While seeing people have sex didn’t bother me, most of them didn’t like it when I stood too close.

  I zoned out, thinking of what my night was hopefully going to bring. It would be nothing like the tame, slow, loving caresses and fucking that was playing out in front of me. However, it did make my cock twitch excitedly in my pants. The simple thought of getting my hands on Alix had the corners of my lips curling. I shoved away the images of her tied up that were floating through my mind, making me anxious for the rest of the day to pass. It would come soon and I’d finally get the chance to intimately know the enticing brunette.

  Chapter 5

  Alix

  As Jennifer and I had sat taking in the various acts around the room, I couldn’t stop thinking about touching myself. I hadn’t had the urge to do that without having mystery man on my mind since I’d gotten out of rehab. Shifting in my seat, I tried adjusting my legs, but all that did was make my swollen lips rub against my pulsing clit. No matter where I looked, there was a sexual act taking place. I couldn’t escape my thoughts, the need that burned through my body. Finally I couldn’t take it any more and excused myself from Jennifer. I couldn’t very well have her come with me to the bathroom when I went to release the built-up tension.

  Once in the bathroom, I quickly locked myself into one of the small stalls and rubbed my clit fast and hard. I didn’t want it to feel good, I didn’t want it to leave me gasping and wanting more. I just wanted the thoughts to subside and let me regain control over myself.

  Coming to the club had been a bad idea. I should never have agreed to go out. Then again, I didn’t know we would be going to a club where people were being spanked and tied up. Although it was like walking into a real version of many of my dreams, I couldn’t control my thoughts and desires, couldn’t keep them from spinning wildly down the path I fought so hard not to go down again.

  Adjusting my dress, I washed my hands and peeked into the hallway to make sure no one might have overheard me. I hadn’t yelled out with my release, but I was jumpy after having given into my need for release in a public place. It wasn’t the act, especially considering there were people doing much naughtier things in the open. It was the fact that I’d hidden it and felt ashamed of what I’d done. Just as I was stepping out, large hands wrapped around my mouth and waist, pulling me against a hard body. Panic rushed through my body in an instant, until the sexy, hoarse, British voice spilled down my neck. Although his hands held me firmly, they didn’t hurt, didn’t grope — simply kept me in place.

  He knew what I had done in the bathroom. How? I didn’t know. Didn’t matter, I was too embarrassed to argue when he didn’t believe my initial nervous denial.

  Making me call him sir had my knees weakening. I might call men “sir” daily, but it was different when the man holding me demanded it. My pussy clenched, wet for him from that single word alone. Yet he wouldn’t give me his name. An admirer. No one admired me from near or far. There was nothing to admire about me. I was a basket case with more issues than any sane man would stick around to deal with.

  Without hesitation, I gave him my name even as I mentally slapped a palm to my face. I hadn’t meant to, but it was out of my mouth without a thought out of habit.

  I could feel his erection pressing against my ass, but he didn’t try to grind it on me. I don’t even know that he realized we were pressed that firmly together that I could feel it.

  A nip to my ear had a gasp escaping my lungs as he gave me instructions to return to him. Then he was gone.

  Spinning around, I expected to find that he’d just stepped back from me, but instead he’d completely vanished into thin air.

  Breathing hard, I leaned against the wall where he’d been only moments ago. My clit was throbbing worse than it had before I’d slipped into the bathroom. Although I only knew him as Master J, everything about the quick exchange had my blood hot and desperate again.

  Before I could even get a good rhythm going, I heard heels on the floor. Tugging my dress down, I shook my head at my behavior. I had to escape before I got caught and really embarrassed myself.

  Upon returning to Jennifer, I stared at my hands — my mind battling what my decision would be. Could I say yes? Could I come back? Would it be a step forward or backwards in the crazy whirlwind of addiction I constantly lived in? Did it have anything to do with that?

  Finally, I couldn’t take the sounds of leather or skin slapping skin that filled the room. I caught Jennifer’s wide eyes and motioned at the door and she rapidly nodded. I think she’d most definitely gotten more than she bargained for by coming to the club. Meanwhile, I’d been invited back by a man I hadn’t seen and knew nothing about except that the barest brush of his lips on my neck had turned my body to mush and he held me like he had every right to do it. In everything I’d been through, I’d never reacted so violently to someone so quickly — or ever.

  Jennifer dropped me off at the hotel so I could pick up my car. The entire drive she’d
tried to talk about what we’d just seen, but was unable to complete even one sentence. I giggled at her. Obviously, her mind had been blown.

  That night I lay in bed, unable to get even a wink of sleep because I couldn’t get all the glorious scenes out of my head. His voice haunted me, replaying over and over. It was so incredibly sexy with that slight British accent as he handled me like he knew my body better than even I did.

  When my alarm went off in the morning, I groggily rolled out of bed and proceeded to get ready for the day. I was exhausted, but I hoped a few cups of coffee would help remedy that. Thankfully, Jennifer wasn’t at work so I didn’t have to worry about her peppering me with questions and wanting my opinion on everything after she’d had a night to gather her thoughts. The woman spoke so quickly, I could only imagine what she’d be like after the way her eyes practically popped out of her head at the party.

  Unfortunately I didn’t have any appointments until the afternoon, so my mind had all that free time to continue tossing about my options and reasons for each. To the outside observer I was doing paperwork and checking on shipments and deliveries needed for parties that were coming up, but my insides were much busier.

  After a couple of hours passed and I was still unable to focus on anything productive, I gave in and put my information into an online counseling site I’d found that had great reviews. I really didn’t want to have to go in person to talk to someone about my problems flaring up again. It was embarrassing enough the first time, let alone to admit that I had fallen yet again.

  The doctor didn’t seem all that helpful, and when he suggested I come into the office to meet him in person, I quickly disengaged. I couldn’t handle that on top of everything. I’d have to try again when I was at home, when I hopefully wouldn’t be as jumpy. It’d been stupid to even talk to the doctor while at work. I needed to get my mind off my problems, not focus on them more than I already was.

  Once appointments started showing up, the rest of the day flew by and I found myself pacing my living room, still debating. Master J had said that I was to show up at the same time as the day before. Was that the time that we had arrived or the time that he was talking to me? I hadn’t paid attention to exactly when we’d arrived or when he’d caught me in the hallway. Hell, I guess I’d already made up my mind that I was going. It was a matter of what time. Would it matter? I didn’t know. Didn’t want to find out.

  I had to find out if my reaction to him was a one-time thing or if it would happen again. It didn’t help that I also wanted to put a face to the voice that still caused me to break out into shivers when I thought of it.

  Not giving myself a chance to back out, I changed into a pair of black pants and a silk blouse; I wore both to work, but it was the best I had that worked for dressy casual. Leaving my hair in the low ponytail I’d worn all day, I grabbed my purse and headed to the club.

  Wiping a sweaty palm on my pants, I opened the car door once I’d parked in front of the building from the night before. It looked exactly the same. Some part of me thought things would look different, but nothing had changed. Taking a deep breath, I exited the car and walked swiftly to the door of the building.

  The single man standing guard by the door lifted an eyebrow at me when I stopped in front of him. He nodded over his shoulder for me to go in. Swallowing hard, I stepped past him.

  Once inside, I was greeted by a new woman waiting to take my belongings. Before she could speak, I held out my purse and said, “I’m here for Master J.”

  “Ah. Yes.” She smiled briefly before pulling back the curtain for me.

  Looking from her to the curtain, I wasn’t certain what I was expected to do. Would he find me once I was inside? Was I to wait for someone to come get me? When she didn’t say anything else, I stepped through the curtain to find the same massive room, still clogged with people like the night before. People milling about, whipping, spanking, consensual torture — like it hadn’t been nearly twenty-four hours since I’d left.

  “Please follow me,” a man in a black shirt and pants said before walking off, not waiting to see if I was following.

  After a moment’s hesitation, I quickly caught up to him. Nerves kept any of the half-naked people or arousing sounds from affecting me. I was much too focused on what I was about to walk into to even think about watching. When my escort opened a door and gestured for me to enter, I blew out a breath and did as I was told. Finding myself in a small room with another door directly in front of me, I spun around.

  “Your instructions are there.” He pointed to a small table behind the door he still held partially open, then quietly closed the door, leaving me in the small space.

  Immediately I picked up the paper to read what was left for me.

  Precious,

  Strip then kneel in the center of the room with your head down, hands on your knees. Do not speak. Do not waste time. Simply follow my instructions and you will be rewarded. Don’t and you will be punished.

  Time is of the essence.

  Master J

  I read the note four times before I finally comprehended that he expected me to get naked for him. I couldn’t do that. I didn’t even know what he looked like. I didn’t even know his name or what he wanted to do with me. I was only going to do part of what he wanted; I highly doubted he would punish me on the first time I met him. I dropped the note on the table again before kicking off my shoes, then walked through the door I hadn’t been through yet. On the other side was an expansive room. It contained a large bed along with a bench of some sort and chains on one wall. Another wall was covered with hooks displaying tools for torture. Looking at the display only filled me with dread and fear that I had made a massive mistake.

  Even fearing the pain that I might encounter, I was still wildly curious. Seeing a large square mat near the door, I hoped that was where I was meant to kneel. It looked much softer than the floor would have been. Dropping down, I rested my butt on my feet, hands on my thighs and looked toward the ground as instructed. Only I was still fully clothed. I refused to get naked for a man I didn’t even know.

  As if I had been watched, a door on the opposite side of the room opened shortly after I got settled. Breathing deeply, I caught his scent. That unique smell that was dark and earthy and unlike anything else I’d ever smelled wrapped around me making me close my eyes in pleasure. When I opened them again, there was a pair of glossy dress shoes directly in front of me. I hadn’t heard him move and jumped at the unexpected sight.

  “Precious, do you have problems following instructions?” The voice I’d dreamed about was exactly as I’d remembered sending a shiver of excitement down my spine.

  “No, sir,” I murmured in response.

  “Then tell me, why are you still fully clothed?” His shoes disappeared from my view and I started to turn my head to follow, but he snapped out harshly, “I didn’t tell you to move.”

  Immediately, I dropped my eyes to the floor again. Hearing the authority in his voice made me want to squeeze my thighs together; my pussy clenched.

  “Good girl.” He patted me on the head, letting me know that he was standing behind me. “You may now look up. And I am still waiting for an answer.”

  Lifting my head, I fought the temptation to turn and look at him. A black silk cloth was dropped in front of my face. I knew what it was and it made me straighten my back a bit more. “Sir, why am I being blindfolded? I would like to look at you since I have yet to see your face.”

  “And I would like to know why you felt the need to disobey my orders.” The soft cloth was brought to my face and deftly tied behind my head, completely blocking my sight.

  “I thought it was inappropriate to be naked with a man I had only met once,” I calmly answered.

  “I will not cause you to come by any harm that is unwanted.” I heard the soft swish of his slacks as he moved around me.

  Any harm that is unwanted. That part kept repeating in my head. Swallowing hard, I wiped my dewy palms on my pan
ts again. “I don’t want any harm done to me.”

  “Have you already forgotten the first thing I told you to remember?” He said in a husky tone near my ear.

  “No, sir. I’m sorry. I’m just overwhelmed, sir.” Again I felt a soft pat on the head.

  “We will take it one step at a time, Precious. I will prepare you for each and everything that is going to be done to you before hand. There will be no unexpected surprises. You need to trust me. The more you trust me, the more enjoyable it will be.” His voice came from directly in front of me.

  “I don’t know you. Why should I trust you?” Again, I felt like I should have thought my actions through more, but curiosity made me want to see where things were going.

  “You shouldn’t.” The tone of his voice sent a chill down my back.

  Chapter 6

  John

  Alix asked all the right questions, although she’d put herself in danger’s path by meeting up with an unknown man, alone in a room with him. She was also feeling me out and testing me.

  Smiling, I lifted her chin with a knuckle. “I will earn your trust. If you will let me, that is.”

  It took her a moment before she licked her lips and nodded.

  “Good girl.” I stepped back from her and folded my arms over my chest. “Tell me. What is it that you desire? What are you absolutely not willing to do?”

  “I’m not sure, sir. I’ve never done anything like I saw people doing in the big room.” Her voice was soft, unsure.

  “I’m going to list things. You tell me yes or no or if you are curious to find out.” Clearing my throat, I started with the most simple things and what she may have had experience with. “Spanking?”

  “Yes.”

  “With paddles?”

  “Yes.”

  “Floggers?”

  “Yes.”

  “Spanking by hand?”

  “Yes.” She let out a lusty sigh.