Dirty (A Damaged Romance Duet Book 1)

by Michelle Horst

  Dirty

  By

  Michelle Horst

  Copyright © 2017 by Author Michelle Horst.

  All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, distributed or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law. For permission requests, email to: michelle.horst7@gmail.com

  Publisher’s Note: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters and incidents are a product of the author’s imagination. Locales and public names are sometimes used for atmospheric purposes. Any resemblance to actual people, living or dead, or to businesses, companies, events, institutions, or locales is completely coincidental.

  Cover Design: RBA Designs

  Formatter: Allusion Graphics

  PR: Be My Book Boyfriend

  Acknowledgements

  I thank my God for miracles, dragonflies and butterflies.

  Ronald and Sheldon, thank you for your support.

  To my #EvilTribe, Morgan, Kelly and Kristine. Thank you for being the Godparents of my paper baby.

  To my beta readers, Morgan, Kelly, Kristine, Becca, Laure and Sheena, thank you for you time.

  My PR guru, Tracy, you’re amazing.

  A special thank you to every blogger and reader that took the time to take part in the cover reveal and release day.

  Most importantly, I just want to say how grateful I am to Willow Winters. Thank you for every piece of advice. For working with me on the covers. For being so patient with me and sharing your knowledge. You’re a Saint. You’ve made a huge difference in my life.

  Love ya all tons ;)

  Please note that Dirty was previously published as Saved By Her. It has been rebranded with a HOT new cover and SIZZLING new scenes.

  Prologue

  Jack

  (Eight years old…)

  Angrily, I wipe at the tears blurring my sight. I want to see Momma’s smile. Desperation and fear squeeze my heart until it hurts.

  “Jack,” Momma says, sounding very sick. I can see it’s hard for her to breathe. She manages to open one of her swollen eyes a little. It looks like it hurts.

  I quickly rinse the cloth and try to wipe some of the blood dribbling from the corner of her mouth.

  “I’m here, Momma,” I say, my voice thick with tears. I gently pat her hair, the same way she always pats mine when I’ve scraped my knee. I wish I could hug her, but I’m scared I’ll hurt her.

  “Promise … me, Jack,” she whispers.

  “Anything, Momma.” I nod eagerly. I’ll do anything to see her smile. My momma has the prettiest smile. It always makes me feel safe.

  “Promise … you’ll … look after … David.” Her breaths wheeze in and out, making whistling sounds.

  “I promise, Momma.” Her mouth twitches as she smiles at me. “I’ll look after David.”

  She keeps smiling for a long time. I sit by her, wiping the blood from her face and arms. As long as Momma smiles, everything will be okay.

  I crawl onto the tiny bed and lay down beside Momma. I take her hand in mine and when I feel how cold her fingers are, I try to rub some warmth into them. I close my eyes for a bit, feeling tired from worrying over Momma.

  The door slams open, waking me with a fright. Quickly, I sit up as Father walks toward us. He always looks angry, especially when he sees me. He stops next to the bed and he gives Momma a harsh look. He leans over her and takes hold of her jaw, making her smile disappear. He turns her face towards him, his fingers digging into her pale skin.

  He lets her go with a shove and then shouts out, “Sven!”

  Sven and Eduardo follow Father everywhere. They’re always mean and I’ve learned to stay out of their way.

  “Yes, Sir?” Sven stands by the door, his hands clasped in front of him.

  “Go burn the body,” Father says with an angry voice.

  I blink a few times as Sven walks toward us, picks up Momma, and throws her over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. My eyes widen as I realize what’s happening. I jump from the bed and race after Sven.

  “Leave her alone!” I start to pound my tiny fists into his back. I don’t care that I’ll get in trouble. I just have to make him stop. “Put Momma back on the bed. She’s sleeping.”

  A hand clasps cruelly at the back of my neck and yanks me backwards.

  “It’s time for you to become a man,” Father growls.

  He shoves me forward and I have to jog to keep up with his big steps.

  We walk out the back door and past the pretty flowers Momma loves so much. She always stops to smell them. We keep going, further than I’ve ever been with Momma when we come outside for walks. We near a building, the brown one I’ve been told not to go close to.

  Sven opens the heavy looking door and steps inside. Father shoves me again, making me stumble inside. Sven throws Momma on the floor, her body falling in an awkward position. My eyes are huge and burning. I have to bite back the tears as I start to tremble from being scared.

  I watch as Sven opens a steel door, picks Momma up, and puts her inside the tiny space. It looks like a huge oven.

  I can’t see what Sven does because his big body blocks my view. Suddenly, flames jump out of nowhere, quickly swallowing Momma.

  I yank away from Father with a loud scream bursting from my dry lips. “No!” I grab hold of Momma’s foot, and start to pull at her, trying my best to save her.

  The flames lick at my hand, hot and painful. I don’t let go of her until fingers wrap around my neck, and I’m flung backwards. My body slams into the wall, and the impact makes a sharp pain rattle through my body. I fall to the floor and bite on my bottom lip, to keep the tears from falling.

  Father’s huge body towers over me, making fear explode inside my racing heart.

  He glares at Sven and says, “It’s time for the boy to start earning his keep. Put him with the other slaves.”

  I don’t understand what that means. My eyes fall on Momma as the flames eat her. I can’t tear my eyes away from her. My eyes burn from the fire. My hand burns from the fire. My heart burns because I know that I won’t see Momma’s smile again.

  Everything burns.

  Chapter 1

  Jack

  (Twenty-Seven years old…)

  I wipe the corner of my mouth and throw the napkin on the plate, before I go back to staring out the window. Winter is almost over and soon the roses will bloom again. I need to go trim the bushes and trees.

  It’s one of the few pleasures I’m allowed.

  If I cooperate, I’m allowed outside to tend to the gardens and my greenhouse. If I have to stay locked in this house every single day, I’ll lose my fucking mind. I’d rather spend my days outside being a gardener, than being this pathetic excuse of a man that allows others to use him.

  But as long as I obey, David remains safe and cared for. In the end that’s all that matters. I don’t put up a fight and let those rich fuckers have their way with me, and David is spared.

  I’m one of the few slaves that are allowed to move freely around the estate. But if I don’t cooperate, the few privileges I have, will be taken away.

  I know they want me to fight back. They are just waiting for me to step out of line so they can beat the shit out of me. These fuckers get off on inflicting pain.

  The only reason I have not killed anyone yet, is because I’m constantly warned that David will be sold into a life of slavery, should I not obey every command given.

  I submit to them because
of the promise I made to my dying mother before they burned her like she was nothing but trash. It’s my responsibility to keep David safe, and as long as it’s in my power to keep that promise, I will.

  The last time I felt any resemblance of safety was when Momma was alive. Not a day has gone by that I don’t miss her. Years later, and I still have nightmares of that horrible day. I can still smell her burning flesh.

  Slowly, I stand up. My body feels like it weighs a ton. It feels like I’m constantly surrounded by a cloud of ash. Thoughts of escaping this house of horrors are all that keep me sane. Soon, David will be finished with his studies. I’ll escape this hell hole and go find my brother.

  Leaving my room, I keep my eyes down until I’m outside. I walk straight to my greenhouse. It was given to me when Cameron realized he could make a lot of money with me. He won’t admit it to me, but I’ve heard him brag that I’m his greatest asset.

  Watering plants always calms me. I remove any dead leaves with a gentle hand. I love being surrounded by nature, as it reminds me that somewhere there is life, even though I feel dead inside. In a way I get to live through nature, drawing off its energy and vibrant colors. For a moment, I can lose myself in the beauty around me, almost forgetting where I am and what my life entails. Sometimes I wish I could be a flower, only blooming once before dying and nourishing the ground with its remains. It’s better than what I am – nothing more than an empty soul that’s stuck in a ravaged shell.

  There was a time I thought Cameron was my father. Fuck, was I wrong. After Momma died he told me that I’m nothing of his. Only David is his son. He said Momma had me before she married him. I don’t know who my real father is and I don’t fucking care. All I care about is David’s safety and keeping my promise to Momma.

  When I’m done watering all the plants, and my small collection of bonsai trees, I walk over to the rose garden so I can trim the bushes. Because of all the gardening I do, I’m built well. Unfortunately, it makes me a huge favorite with Cameron’s clients, men and women alike.

  Mistress Claire is the only regular I can stomach. Master and Mistress Westbrook are the ones that make my skin fucking crawl. I’m normally good at switching off, but with them it’s impossible.

  In the beginning I was consumed with disgust and hate. Fuck, I wanted to go crazy with rage. I quickly learned that fighting back was a huge turn-on for these fuckers. The harder you fought, the worse the punishment.

  A few months ago, I stopped getting hard and none of the clients could get me to climax. That wasn’t good for Cameron’s business, and now I’m forced to take medication before every party to ensure my cock is hard. But no one can make me come and it feels like I’ve regained some fucking power over my body. They can fuck me all they want, but I get the satisfaction of not coming. It’s a small win for me.

  Getting lost in tending to the rose garden, I work until sweat drips into my eyes. I stand up and take off my shirt, wiping my face and neck.

  For a few precious minutes I forgot that I’m nothing but a sex slave. The weight of the perverted and demeaned life I’m forced to live makes my bones feel like lead. I have to get ready for tonight’s party. Another night of torture.

  This life is all I’ve ever known, but there has to be something better out there. This can’t be all there is to life.

  Voices sound up behind me and I turn to see Cameron heading in my direction. Just the sight of him makes my blood boil with rage. As always, Sven, Eduardo and Luca are following him. Luca joined his team of bodyguards four years back. Sven and Eduardo aren’t that young anymore, so Cameron is bringing in fresh blood. I’m surprised that he has kept Sven and Eduardo for so long as nothing ever lasts around here.

  Today, Cameron is accompanied by a woman and man that I haven’t seen at any of the parties. The man hovers to the woman’s left, his eyes taking in the grounds and mansion. He could be her husband, but my guess is that he’s her bodyguard. He gives off the same vibe they all normally have. He has hooded eyes, a tense body, and an attitude that clearly warns everyone to not fuck with him. I’ve learned that the worst of the worst have guards to protect them, because they have so many enemies.

  “This is the slave I was telling you about,” Cameron says, stopping a few feet from me. He never comes too close. I can see the fear in his eyes when he looks at me. He knows it’s only a matter of time before I will get my chance to kill him. David is his only weapon and soon that will change.

  Resentment and hatred swirl in my stomach, as I drop to one knee. I lower my head until I’m staring at the ground. “Master,” I grind the word out, making it sound like a curse.

  The more compliant you are, the better things will be for you. But fuck, I can’t spit that word out and make it sound like a prayer. To hell with all of them. They can do what they want to my body, but I won’t let them have my soul.

  “As you can see, he is in excellent condition.” You can hear the arrogant tone in Cameron’s voice, as if I’m a possession.

  Soon, I’ll get to rip his rotten heart from his chest, and watch as his lifeless blood drips from my fingers.

  I hear the woman clearing her throat and then she asks, “Do you have many male slaves?”

  Cameron chuckles darkly. “No, he is my only male slave. The males can be quite troublesome, and to break them takes much more work than with the females. Most of the men die, but if you get it right to train one … it’s a beautiful thing. This one has been with me since before he could walk, so it was easy to train him.”

  “Stand, Slave!” Cameron barks.

  Aggression ripples over my body and I have to close my eyes to keep from attacking the bastard. I rise to my full length, but I keep my eyes lowered. They love seeing the fight burn inside of me. They thrive on knowing I’m a wild beast that they can fuck around with. I’m the perfect adrenaline rush for them.

  Cameron waves a hand over the length of me. “He is trained well, as you’ll see tonight at the party.”

  “What time does the party start again?” The woman asks, and for the first time I glance up. Our eyes meet and I feel a wave of satisfaction when fear makes her brown eyes widen.

  Dark brown hair falls in soft waves to her shoulders. I’m caught off guard by her beauty. She’s by far the youngest Mistress I’ve ever seen. It’s normally the older women who love to come here, because they won’t get fucked by a younger man elsewhere.

  “Eyes!” Cameron snaps. The command makes Sven take a step in my direction.

  My eyes shoot to Cameron, and I glare darkly at him before dropping them to the ground.

  I take a deep breath and dig deep to keep myself back.

  “It’s okay,” the woman whispers. She surprises me by closing the distance between us, until I catch the faint floral scent that hangs around her. “You have my permission to look at me,” she murmurs.

  I let my eyes travel up her body, until I reach her face. Her skin has a healthy glow to it, as if she spends a lot of time outside. Not at all pale and worn from old age, like I’m used to seeing.

  She looks up at me and I see something I haven’t seen before in a Mistress’ eyes. It’s the same look Olivia gives me when I’ve been beaten. Concern. Why the fuck would this woman be concerned about me? It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I let my eyes dart over her head, focusing on the apple trees in the distance. I can deal with lust or hate filled looks, those I’ve dealt with all my life.

  “I want him,” she says, her tone determined. It’s a pity that such beauty hides just another perverted soul.

  “How much for a night with this slave?” the man asks.

  “Mr. Ryland,” Cameron says. Every word drips with greed. He’s about to make a lot of money. “As I’ve told you before, this slave is one of my greatest assets. A night with him is quite costly, but well worth it.”

  “We’ve paid to attend your party,” the woman snaps. “We can afford any price you ask for him.” She sounds pissed and insulted that Cameron would think they
can’t afford me. I’m used to seeing that reaction from the women who come here. They all fucking think the sun rises and sets with them. Arrogant bitches.

  Cameron laughs, and I feel him step closer to us. “Mrs. Ryland, I’m sure you can afford him, but let’s talk business inside. The slave needs to go prepare for the party.”

  “You may leave, Slave,” he snaps at me.

  I walk away without another glance at any of them. My time will come. I just need to hold out and not lose my calm. Only a few more months and I’ll get my revenge.

  I shower, brush my teeth, and shave before I apply one of the many aftershaves I have.

  Cameron makes sure I have everything. I live in the mansion, and should I need anything, it’s given to me. I can have everything, but my freedom. But even if Cameron offered me my freedom, I wouldn’t leave without David, and the bastard knows that.

  Cameron gives David everything. I’ve been told that he’s currently studying. Sven updates me on what’s happening in David’s life. I get photos to show that everything is going well with him, but I’m not allowed contact with him. I’m just waiting for David to finish his studies. He deserves a chance at a good life.

  I take a pair of jeans from the closet, and drag them on. That’s all I get to wear at parties, a pair of worn jeans.

  I walk over to the table where the medication has been left. I pick up the glass of icy water and take a sip to wet my throat, before I swallow the pills. Placing the glass back on the tray, I stare out the window until my sight blurs. I don’t see anything as my mind begins its process of shutting down.

  There’s a knock at the door and I turn to see Sophia come in. She’s been here as long as I can remember. Sophia’s mother was also a slave that got pregnant from one of the Masters. Her mother died giving birth.

  Sophia is one of Cameron’s favorites and in charge of the other slaves. I’m always amazed by how happy she looks. I don’t understand it. How the hell can anyone be happy with being a slave to another person? To be fucked and tortured all your life? It’s no life at all.