Night Things (10) (The Underground Kingdom)

by Steve Elliott

  "Two hours," Rosewing argued stubbornly.

  "An hour and a half," I compromised. "And that's final," I added, as Rosewing opened her mouth for further negotiation.

  "Okay," she sulkily agreed. "An hour and a half it is." She glanced around at the circle of my companions, which now included rows of fascinated bystanders. "Do you see how my parents oppress me?" she asked. "All they ever do is think up schemes to make me miserable. I'm sure that no other daughter in the world has to go through what I do. Parents, hah! They're determined to stamp out every vestige of fun in my life. Just because they couldn't enjoy themselves when they were young, I have to suffer for it."

  "That just goes to show how much you know," Nix interrupted. "The stories I could tell you about your mother when she was young …… well, talk about enjoying herself! She became a legend, you know."

  "That's enough of that," Tracey coughed in embarrassment. "I'm sure nobody wants to hear your wild tales."

  "On the contrary, Mother," Rosewing purred. "I'd love to hear about what happened when you were my age."

  "The stories were exaggerated," Tracey hastily vowed, blushing furiously. "Don't believe everything you hear."

  "I haven't heard anything yet," Rosewing declared, craftily. "Could it be that my oppressive mother was a little, ah, less strict with herself in her younger days? Indulged in a little uninhibited behavior, perhaps? No wonder you never talk about your earlier life, Mother. This opens all sorts of areas for blackmail."

  "No, it doesn't, young lady," I insisted. "We want you to follow the rules, is that understood?"

  "I suppose," Rosewing conceded. "I know you want the best of me, no matter how tyrannical and totally unjustified your rules are. So, it's two hours, then?"

  "An hour and a half," I corrected. "Don't be cheeky!"

  "Okay, I surrender," she admitted, smiling. And with that smile, I forgave her everything. When she wasn't being a stubborn teenager, my daughter became a delight. Her smile was magical, reminding me of sunlight breaking through clouds – all glistening and sparkling vivacity. I'd always secretly believed it to be her best feature. She might have inherited her gorgeous physical appearance from her mother, but her smile belonged to her alone. It was friendly, generous, disarming, warm and all-embracing. It made anyone in close proximity feel good about themselves and I loved seeing it blossom on her face.

  Chapter 24

  We were shown into temporary quarters as the King and the remaining free Night Things hammered out the final details of their treaty. A few hours later, a Herald arrived and announced that the feast was prepared. He led us to the dining area and we were seated next to the King – quite an honor, I believe. Then the food arrived, astonishing us all by its amount and variety. Musicians played quietly in the background as the meal progressed and I have to say that the whole experience was extremely enjoyable. I guess that one of the perks of being a king is the ability to conscript the best cooks and the most exotic of foods. I experienced a little envy, but reminded myself of the downside of ruling a diverse population. Making life-and-death decisions every day wasn't my cup of tea.

  After eating, the dancing began. This surprised me somewhat, because I'd never really imagined the dwarf race as indulging in that particular pastime. But hey, when in Rome ….. I took Thorn’s hand in mine (by the same token, I also offered my hand to Tracey), and we made our way to where the others were dancing and joined in. It felt so fitting to have my fairy lovers in my arms like this and once again I marvelled at how it had all come about. I really was the luckiest person in existence. Glancing over Thorn’s shoulder, I noticed that Quina and Totil were gliding behind us, totally engrossed in each other’s presence. I gently nudged my dancing partner.

  "It looks as though your infallible instincts have proven to be correct once again," I told her, nodding towards the dancing couple. Thorn glanced at Quina and Totil, and smiled knowingly.

  "Told you," she said, smugly. "I knew they were right for each other. All they needed was a little push."

  "Don't be too cocky," I warned. "It isn't a done deed yet."

  "I know," she replied, "but it's a great beginning, don't you think?"

  "Assuredly," I confirmed, giving her a quick hug. "You've done good, light of my life, although I’m a little surprised it was so easy to achieve."

  "I'm not," she assured me, twirling around. "The seeds were already planted years ago and, once Quina realised that nothing was going to happen with you …. ", she fixed me with a steely glare at this point, "…. it was only natural she’d go back to her initial love."

  "You clever little wombat," I praised. "You understand people so well."

  "Well, I've learnt from the Master," she told me with a slight grin.

  "Really?" I questioned. "And exactly who is this alleged paragon of psychology?"

  "Oh, just some unfortunate ragamuffin I happened to come across in my travels," she confirmed, smiling lovingly at me. "I wouldn't normally have given him the time of day, but I just couldn't resist those puppy-dog eyes."

  "Zen’s been teaching you?" I kidded. "Why didn't you come to me?"

  "Don't be such a silly," she chided, gently slapping my arm.

  "I don't deserve you, you know," I said, kissing her tenderly on the forehead. "You're way too good for me."

  "That goes without saying," she said, stroking my cheek with her fingers. "But I can live with it if you can."

  "I'll try my best," I promised.

  We danced on, and my mind began to slip into a state of disconnection. It became almost a semi-hypnotised sense of existence where our repetitious movements calmed the body, leaving the thoughts free to wander around in a random fashion. Rosewing slid past us in the arms of some boy or other, performing an outrageous, hip-swinging, free-form young person’s dance and grinning mockingly at her parent’s old fashioned dancing style. I smiled back at her, but awarded her partner a distrustful and penetrating glare because I thought he appeared to have a somewhat liberal attitude as to where he put his hands. However, all this was disrupted by the disjointed arrival of Nix. He staggered up to us and put a clumsy hand on Thorn’s shoulder.

  "Whatcha’ doin’?" he slurred, swaying unsteadily on his feet.

  "Nix, what on earth are you doing?" Thorn demanded, facing him. "Stephen and I are dancing!"

  "I wanna dance too," he hiccupped.

  "You're drunk!" Thorn exclaimed in disgust.

  "No I'm not," he denied. "I'm not ….. thingy …. what you said. I'm as sober as a ….. as a non-drinking thing. You know, someone’s who doesn't drinks. That's me. Okay, I may have had’s one or two little sips, but that's all. It's free, you know."

  "Maybe you should go somewhere and lie down for a little," I tactfully suggested.

  "Why?" Nix demanded belligerently. "I feel fines! Better than fines, really." He hiccupped again and blinked his eyes a few times. "Why you’s so blurry?" he asked, staring hard at Thorn.

  "You are drunk!" Thorn scowled.

  "I'm is not!" Nix insisted, weaving backwards and forwards. "Anyways, that's beside the thingy …….. point. What I wanna tells you is ……." He stopped talking and stared off into the distance.

  "….. is?" Thorn suggested.

  "What?" Nix questioned, his eyes focusing on her with an obvious effort.

  "…… is?" Thorn repeated.

  "What?" Nix also repeated. "Why is you saying ‘is’ all the time?"

  "Because you were going to tell us something!" Thorn exclaimed in frustration.

  "I was?"

  "Yes!"

  "What was it?"

  "How the hell should I know? You were going to tell us!"

  "Was I? What’s was it ’bout?"

  "How the devil should I know?!"

  "Well, you musta not had been listenin’ too good, then."

  "Ooooh, you drive me crazy!"

  "Why?"

  By this stage, Thorn was practically jumping up and down with rage. She grabbed Nix by the sho
ulders and shook him, none too gently.

  "Tell me what you are going to say, you drunken, disgusting borgulessa!" she shouted at him.

  "I member now," Nix mumbled, jerking like a metronome under Thorn's forceful administrations. "I wanna say ……" Then he fell silent again.

  "What?!" Thorn practically screamed in his face. I noticed that the surrounding dancers were beginning to notice our unscheduled pantomime and were looking at our little group curiously.

  "What are you trying to say?" Thorn yelled in Nix’s face. "Tell me before I kill you!"

  "Oh yes," Nix mumbled. "I wanna say that you’s the most beautiful things I’s ever seen." He fell erratically to his knees and looked up at her in a cross-eyed fashion. "You’s beautiful. I wanna’s marry you." He pawed at her and manage to capture her hand after half a dozen abortive tries. "Marry’s me, you’s deli …. deligh …. great thing. I’s worships the grounds you’s ….. sits …… stands …… walks on."

  "What?!" Thorn exclaimed, vainly trying to pull her hand away. "Stop that! Marry you? Are you insane?"

  "We'd be pert …. perifact …. good together," Nix declared, his eyes rotating. "Think’s of our childrens."

  "Children?" Thorn shrilled. "Our children?" She stopped, stunned by the enormity of the concept. "That does it! You're going to bed to sleep it off! Children, hah!"

  "They's have you’s beautif …… bautif ….. nice face and my intelligen ….. intallagin …. smarts brains, " he promised. "Marry’s me. Be’s my wuf ...... wife.”

  Chapter 25

  By this time, Quina, Totil, Tracey and Trix had joined us. "What the blazes is going on?" Tracey want to know. "I could hear you right across the room!"

  "Nix wants to marry me!" Thorn spluttered.

  "Marry you?" Tracey questioned in astonishment. "He’s drunk, isn't he?"

  "Why would you assume that?" Thorn asked, a small frown wrinkling her forehead.

  "Why else would he say it?" Tracey shrugged.

  "In other words," Thorn said deliberately, "the only possible way he'd find me attractive would be when he was blind drunk. Is that what you're saying?"

  "I didn't say any such thing," Tracey protested. "Although, you have to admit, if he felt that way, why hasn’t he said something earlier? Why wait until now?"

  "Maybe he's just shy," Thorn replied, staring hard at her sister.

  "Yeah, right," Tracey snorted. "Nix, shy? Now there's a thought! Face it, Arugohumna, if he really was attracted, he would have said something before this."

  "So, I'm ugly then," Thorn stated, slowly. "It's nice to know what you truly think about me. Well, Traculimna, you're not so perfect yourself, you know."

  "What do you mean by that remark?" Tracey demanded, clenching her fists.

  "Nothing," Thorn replied sweetly, looking away.

  "You meant something," Tracey stated in a low voice. "Tell me!"

  "Or what?" Thorn enquired. "I'm surprised you can bring yourself to even talk to someone as hideous as I am."

  "Don't be so stupid!"

  "Oh, so now I'm stupid, am I?"

  "You said it. I didn't."

  "Yes, you did! Just then. I heard you."

  "You're imagining things."

  "And now I'm crazy into the bargain? Traculimna, you're really pushing your luck!"

  "What's the matter with you? Stop taking everything I say out of context."

  "You're the one insulting me!"

  "Am not!"

  "Are too!"

  "Would you two please stop screaming at each other?" Quina interrupted. "People are staring!"

  "It's all Arugohumna’s fault," Tracey sulked.

  "No, it's not!" Thorn grumbled. "She’s to blame!"

  "For heaven’s sake!" Quina snapped. "Stop it, the both of you! What started it all?"

  "Well," Thorn began," I suppose it was when Nix proposed to me."

  "Speaking of Nix," Trix murmured, "where is he?"

  We all looked around and found the alleged culprit at the food table, calmly eating a piece of cake. He appeared suspiciously in command of his faculties for someone so inebriated a scant few minutes ago, and a dawning suspicion about his behaviour began to surface in my mind. He strolled back to us, clutching a plate of various pastries.

  "What's going on?" he asked.

  "It's you!" Thorn exclaimed. "You did all this! You're drunk!"

  "Am I?" Nix said in astonishment. "Are you sure? What makes you say that? I think that might be a slanderous statement."

  "You proposed to me!" Thorn proclaimed, awash with righteous indignation and affronted dignity. "You were down on your knees and held my hand, begging me to marry you!"

  "That doesn’t sound like me at all," Nix stated mildly. "Arugohumna, sweetheart, please don't flatter yourself. I mean, you're quite passable for someone so ugly I suppose, but really ……"

  Suddenly, Thorn understood. "You utter ratbag!" she shrieked. "You were only pretending!"

  "And I was brilliant, wasn’t I?" Nix boasted. "Go on, admit it. Arugohumna. Gods, you’re so easy! There's no shame in realising that you’re second best," he smirked. "Never try to pit yourself against me, Sweet Cheeks, because you'll never win. You can't even begin to approach my level. If you bear that in mind, life will be so much easier for you."

  "Oooh, you ….. you …..!" Thorn stammered, totally incapable of anything coherent to say. Instead, she opted for direct physical action. Snatching some food from Nix's plate, she threw it at him. Unfortunately, her aim must have been compromised by her rage, because most of the food ended up splattered over Trix and Tracey.

  "Look what you’ve done!" Tracey yelled. "That was a new dress!"

  "Sorry," Thorn apologised. "I didn't mean it."

  "Yes, you did," Tracey contradicted, seething. "You did it deliberately!"

  "No, I didn’t!" Thorn denied. "I aimed at Nix."

  "Like I’d believe that!" Tracey snorted, endeavoring to brush food particles from her clothing.

  "Can I offer you something?" Trix announced, smiling evilly and brandishing a heaped plate of gooey cream cakes she had just liberated from a passing waiter.

  "Just the very thing!" Tracey squealed delightedly, taking a handful from the plate.

  "Now wait a minute!" Thorn protested, taking a step backwards. "What do you think you're doing?"

  "Simply delivering a justified justice," Tracey grandly announced. "Besides, you deserve it."

  "You can't do that!" Thorn exclaimed in horror, taking another step backwards.

  "Who says?" Tracey questioned, taking aim.

  Thorn looked around desperately. We were now the centre of fascinated attention by various onlookers who were awaiting the next part of the drama to unfold. They probably couldn't believe what they were seeing. However, someone should have told them to duck, because it's exactly what Thorn did to avoid the flung comestibles. As a result, the inner row of spectators bore the brunt of Tracey’s cupcake attack. Gasps of outrage split the air and it became one of those defining moments when history could have swung either way. The choice fell between a vigilante mob rule against us or the beginnings of a frenetic food fight. I guess a third option would have been an embarrassed choice to ignore the situation, but that wasn’t even considered.

  The overall food fight began in a relatively small way, with only the two or three of us involved but then, like the first few stones of an avalanche, the madness spread outwards in concentric ripples until the air was full of flying food. The place erupted into chaos, but everybody apparently enjoyed themselves, judging by the volume of laughter that ensued. At one stage I even beheld the unlikely scene of the King merrily throwing food at his Royal guards. In our little circle, we were divided on family lines. Rosewing, Thorn, Tracey, Trix and I were ranged against Quina, Totil, Nix and Balis. Zen remained neutral, barking indiscriminately at everyone and probably wondering what the hell was happening. Mind you, that didn’t prevent him from vacuuming the floor for interesting morsels.
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br />   Chapter 26

  But all good things, however sticky, must come to an end, and the food fight gradually wound down, mainly due to a lack of ammunition. Zen felt in seventh heaven and looked decidedly fatter than he had been at the start of the dance. A mass stampede for the showers by all concerned followed soon after the fight and giggling reminiscences could be heard throughout the night. In the morning, we headed for our respective homes, wearing our medals and with the best wishes of the King ringing in our ears. It had been quite an eventful event but I was pleased to return to domestic quietness. Contentedly, I looked around at my family, gathered in the living room. Tracey and Thorn, my life partners, were seated in the armchairs, along with my beautiful and feisty daughter, Rosewing. Trix, the family's adopted daughter, was reading a book, with Zen sleeping at her feet. Ah yes, what could match being surrounded by family? Quina sat at the table, writing a letter, and I had a premonition that it would be addressed to Totil, judging by the dreamy look on her face. Life didn't get any better than this. May it stay this way forever!

  END

  Sample Chapters from ‘Blood Stone (11)’

  Chapter 1

  I felt that things were working out well. Tracey and Thorn, my two beautiful fairy lovers, appeared to be content with our living arrangements – that is to say, they hadn't tried to poison me or to hit me over the head with a frying pan ( not yet, anyway) – and Rosewing, my spirited daughter, was fulfilling her incipient promise and blossoming into the stunning creature she had always promised to be. Of course, that bought other problems into our lives in the shape of would-be-boyfriends – myriads of them, in all shapes and sizes. All that attention from the opposite sex made me paranoid, but that was probably my father chromosomes talking. It really came down to a matter of trust in the end. Either I trusted my daughter to do the right thing or I didn't. If I didn't, then surely I could be blamed as a parent for not raising her properly. Faced with that decision, I decided to believe that my daughter could be trusted, but I still worried. After all, I remembered being a young male myself and I was fully aware of what occupied most of my mind while growing into adulthood. And that's exactly why I remained nervous. I could trust my daughter all I liked, but could I trust her companions?