The ache, which started the moment his lips left mine, is still burning inside of me. I feel like I am caught in the middle of a maelstrom, holding out for his touch, drowning in myself.
They say everything happens for a reason, and lately I’ve been thinking about where I would have been if I slept with Matt that night, if the call never came, and I was still the old me, I wouldn’t have any of this.
My life has taken a 180-degree turn since I met Josh, and it doesn’t matter that I am not perfect, he loves me just the way I am, flawed and broken, just like him. I look up at my own reflection staring back at me from a large mirror right above the bed. Josh’s voice pulls me out of my daydream as he stands in the door looking like a male model.
“Good morning, beautiful.” His voice penetrates all of my senses, and my inner goddess glows.
“Hi.” I gasp a little as my eyes trace over his chiseled body. He is wearing nothing but a white towel draped over his one shoulder, a naughty grin, and a very impressive erection.
His eyes catch mine, and a wicked grin brushes his lips. “What are you thinking about?”
My whole body starts to tingle as he walks over to the bed. He kneels over me and puts his hands in mine and pins me down. I try to keep my eyes from the jewels hanging between his legs. God, he is already hard.
“How unbelievable all of this is.” My body wriggles underneath the sheets, aching for him. My breath catches in my throat as he pulls back the covers with a naughty grin on his face.
“This is real baby, all of it.” His fingers brush along the length of my trembling body.
I gulp, trying to keep my thoughts together. “Where did you go?”
My hands grip the sheet as his lips graze against the swell of my breast. He opens his mouth and licks my nipple looking at me with those silver eyes that turn my whole world upside down. He hovers over me, resting on his elbows.
I can feel his erection growing, pushing against the inside of my thigh. His eyes pin me down. His one hand slides down to my hip then clenches my ass before moving between my legs.
“I had to work off some of my built-up frustrations in the gym downstairs.” I gasp as he traces his finger up my inner thigh.
He brings his hand back up to his mouth and licks his finger, then moves back to my aching spot. I am wet enough, but watching him lick his fingers before pushing them inside of me is one hell of a turn-on.
This man has it all, and now he has me. It isn’t just lust, or sex, well, that is mind-blowing, it is the depth at which we love, the invisible string connecting our souls. It is the pain and the scars.
“Uhm…why…do you feel frustrated?” Oh God, it’s nearly impossible to form a normal sentence as pushes in and out of me slowly.
“Because I can’t get enough of this,” he lets out a low groan as he slips his fingers out and opens me up. He reaches over to the bedside table and grabs a condom, roll it on then leans in between my legs, letting the tip of his hard, glistening head push against my wet opening. My mouth falls open as he slips inside, stretching me, sore and aching, until he fills me up with all of him. I try to keep my eyes open, but it is no use, I am being cocooned by that warm rush of possession radiating from him onto every part of me.
No words, only sounds, come from my mouth as I watch him fuck me in our reflection above. His body is like a muscle machine, hard and glistening, as he thrusts into me.
“Mine,” he says in that low husky whisper as he pulls out, not all the way, just enough to leave me hanging on the edge of an orgasm.
“Say you’re mine.” He push in deeper. His eyes are dark with a deep slit between them, as he pounds into me, owning me with every thrust.
“I’m…yours,” the words come out under a rush of breath as he pins my hands above my head.
“Mine,” he says it again, this time harder, pounding deeper. He pulls me up against him, our eyes locked on each other, arms laced around his neck, he makes love to me until the blurred lines fade and we become one, in body, mind, and soul.
After a sexless shower, he gets dressed quickly keeping an eye on his phone.
“I have a surprise for you.” He says hugging me from behind.
I hate surprises. “Oh.”
He stands behind me in front of the mirror. “Get dressed and come downstairs.”
I agree and clench the robe around my moist body.
He leaves the room and when the door closes behind him I rush over to the bedside table to grab my phone. Alice picks up on the first ring. “What are you doing?”
“What?” her voice is thick with sleep.
“Were you sleeping?
“Why, what’s wrong?” she says groggily.
I flip open the overnight bag and pull a pair of jeans and a sweater from it. “Nothing, I just wanted to talk.”
“Oh, okay, go ahead, how many orgasms did he suck from your body last night.”
“Oh my God, it was amazing, I mean, even better than any other time before. And guess what.”
“What?” she pretends to be excited.
“I told him I love him.” hearing the words come from my lips almost leaves me breathless.
“Whoopi!”
“Okay, you’re being a bitch. I’ll talk to you later. Have you heard from Ben?”
“No, I haven’t. I’ll call you when I’m up.”
I throw the phone on the bed and do a little silly dance. I feel as if I can open the sliding doors and yell from the balcony for everyone to hear. I love Josh Roxwell.
After I get dressed and put on a smidge of make up, I make my way downstairs. The smell of bacon drifts from the kitchen and my stomach reminds me I’ve been having more sex than food.
Annie is in the kitchen and looks up when I walk in. “Good morning Miss Sophie, did you sleep well?”
My face flushes, “Yes, thank you, Annie.”
I look up and see Josh watching me from the porch. He comes back inside and meets me halfway across the lounge, his lip curled in a wicked grin, and I melt a little bit. “You can be glad we’re not alone, baby doll, or I would have taken you right here on this couch.”
I tremble as he slides his hand up my back and presses a kiss to my forehead. God, he smells so good.
“Ready for your surprise?”
His hand slips into mine, and we walk out onto the patio.
“Ben!” before I know what I’m doing I am in his arms, and he swings me around once before putting me back down on my feet.
“Oh my God, when did you get here?” I am bubbling over with joy.
He looks up at Josh who stands behind me where I left him. “This morning. Josh picked me up from the airport.”
I looked back at Josh, “He did?”
He cocks his head, and I can almost see what’s going through his mind. I was so worn out that I could sleep through an earthquake.
“Does Alice know you’re here?”
“No, it’s a surprise.” I catch a glimpse of something in his eyes.
“Oh my God she’s going to freak out; she’s been missing you so much.”
He gives me a lazy smile, “I’ve missed her, too.”
I can feel my smile going all the way around my head, “Really?” I am jumping on the balls of my feet now.
I jump back into his arms, and he catches me. “You girls must think I’m stupid,” he says with a smile.
“I’m so happy for you.” I kiss him on the cheek when Josh clears his throat behind me.
“Okay that’s enough, come here woman, are you trying to make me jealous or something?” He grabs my arm and pulls me into his chest. I feel my face heat up as he places his finger on my lips looking at me as if he’s getting ready to eat me.
“Are you jealous?” I mumble as he nibbles on my lip.
“Fuck yeah.” He groans in my mouth.
“Okay you guys, not on an empty stomach, please.”
Ben stomps past us int
o the kitchen. “I’m starved, Annie.”
We look back into the house at Ben who towers over Annie as she dishes something up for him. They talk and laugh before he sits down and starts to eat. I catch Josh’s expression before he looks back at me. It’s a mix of sadness and joy, all wrapped up in one.
“I wish my mom could be here to see this.”
I feel my heart break just a little bit. I wish there was something I could do to make it a little better. He’ll never know how much he’s changed my life, and even if whatever we have doesn’t work out in the end, I’ll always have this, the memories of the time in my life when it was all a fairytale, when I fell hard and fast for the bad boy who swept me off my feet, and made me whole again.
“Coffee?” Josh leans over and inhales while nuzzling his nose into my hair.
“Yes please.” I look up and he pecks me on the nose.
Ben lifts his head as we walk hand in hand into the kitchen. “Soph, you should try the pancakes, they are my favorite.” He stuffs his mouth with another, and Annie puts some more on his plate.
While Ben has breakfast I slip out to the lounge and call Alice. She’s beyond hysterical and in tears by the time I hang up. Josh was on a call when I got back into the kitchen, and I took my chance to ask Ben how all of this happened. He said Josh called him and told him everything, about the photos in the file, my mom, and the headlines about Lilly. He said that Josh told him he’s never cared for anyone as much as he cares for me and that he wanted Ben to be a part of us.
“I’ve never been this happy, Ben,” I say under my breath as he walks up and stands next to me.
“I’m glad.” His hand brushes against mine.
I open my mouth to say yes, but something stops me. “What happened, with you and Josh?”
I can’t look at him; instead I just gaze out over the water, my hands clenched around the railing.
“We agreed to disagree and move on.”
“Is that the only reason?”
“No. Because we care about you, and we don’t want to make the same mistakes again.” His voice is low.
This is so weird, talking to Ben about Josh and me, but I’m relieved that I can.
“I’ve missed you.”
He pulls me closer, “I’ve missed you too.”
“Do you think he’ll be okay?”
Ben lets his arms drop to his sides, resting his hands on the railing. “He’s feeling what it feels like to care for someone for the first time in his life, and he’s afraid of losing that.”
I turn my head, and our eyes meet. “But, how do I…”
“You can’t fix it. It’ll take time.”
“Is that why he can’t say he loves me?”
Ben frowns, shifting his weight. He exhales loudly, “Have you?”
I nod slowly, “Yes.”
Ben huffs. “No wonder he’s freaking out.” He touches my arm. “Trust me, I’m the last person to blow smoke up his ass, we’ve been through too much, he can’t bullshit me. He really cares about you, but his emotions are like a ticking time bomb, and I think what he’s been avoiding for so long has now become unavoidable. Even if he’s not saying it, he’s in love.”
I keep wanting to pinch myself because all of this was just so surreal, like my wildest dream come true. Josh said I was his. He reached out to Ben, and they were able to move forward. This is my perfect day.
Chapter 32
Josh walks back with a cup of coffee, and we stop talking. My insides tug as I take it from him, and our fingers brush against each other. Wanting him near is becoming a bit like needing oxygen to breathe.
“I have to go into the city for some business, but after that I’m all yours.” He snakes his arms around me and holds me against him. I like how he’s always touching me, how he shows his affection and makes me feel wanted, all the time.
I feel a slight pang in my stomach, but I brush it off as nerves. He’s got stuff to take care of, and I’ll be here when he gets back. Everything’s okay.
“Yeah, sure, I’ll be fine.”
He looks up at Ben. “You ready?”
Ben nods, his eyes flitting between the two of us.
“Oh, you’re going along?” I didn’t expect him to go with Josh.
“Yeah, we have an appointment with the Lawyers.”
My jaw drops. “I’m really glad you’re doing this. It’s the right thing.”
Josh gives an approving nod then gets up and pulls me in for a kiss, deep and slow.
“We’ll be back as soon as we can, then I’m taking us all out for dinner. Call Alice and tell her to get ready, we’re picking her up at eight. Annie’s here, she will get you anything you want, okay. Call me if you need me.”
I hold onto his hand as he starts walking away. “I need you already.”
He turns around with a wicked gleam in his eyes. “Don’t tempt me, baby.”
I let go of his hand and watch the two men in my life walk out the front door. When the front door closes I take a moment to let it all sink in. How did this happen to me?
My eyes sweep over the large ornate mirror with the heavily engraved gold frame. My reflection stares back at me. Grace Roxwell was a woman of good taste. Every little detail was perfect, from the tassels on the heavy ivory curtains in the formal lounge, to the highly decorated trimmings against the ceiling.
A voice behind me pulls me out of my daydream. “Is there anything I can get you Miss Sophie?”
Annie stands behind me. The crinkles around her eyes tell me that she’s lived a happy life. She’s seen these two boys grow up; she’s been with this family through the good and the bad. I turn around and walk towards her.
“No, I’m fine, thank you.”
She nods and turns around, “Annie, can I ask you something?”
“Anything, Miss Sophie.”
“Can I see the gardens?”
She smiles, “Off course Miss Sophie, I’ll get Charles to take you.”
Three hours later Charles drops me off by the side entrance of the west wing with the golf cart. He is a sweet old man and reminds me so much of Pops. He tells me stories of Josh when he was little. How he would take the jet ski and go off on his own for hours. How he stole the mustang when he was fifteen and later told Charles he met a girl. That sounds like my Josh.
After a shower to cool down I change into a light blue dress with lace trim and call Alice to see if she’s ready. I sent her a few videos on Instagram when I was walking through the garden. Both of us practically breaking out of our skins with excitement. The men in our lives don’t want to kill each other, and we are both in love. It can’t get much better than this.
Annie pops into the room to see if I need anything, and I told her she could go home. I know Josh wants her to be here for me, but I don’t need anything. Charles puts the outside lights on before they leave and the whole garden lights up. The front door closes, and I am alone.
I grab a soda from the fridge then step into the glass elevator next to the stairs. The door closes and I stand there with wide eyes as I descend into the unknown. The doors open into a wide white corridor, with broad ivory tiles and thick woven carpets on the floor. At the end there is a large entertainment area, complete with a big screen and cinema chairs. I pull my phone from my pocket and take a few pics, and then send them to Alice.
My insides flip as Josh’s name appears on my phone and I answer it.
“Hey baby.”His voice on the phone is ever sexier.
“Hi, where are you?”
“We’ve just finished with the lawyers, so we’re on our way to get Alice. Is everything okay?”
I can’t help but smile. “Yeah, Charles took me for a drive through the gardens, and then I had a shower and changed for tonight, and now I’m sitting in the theatre room curled up on the chair.”
“I’m sorry I wasn’t there with you baby, but I promise I’ll make it up to you later.” I can hear the smile in
his voice.
“Is Annie still there?”
“No I told her to go, I’m fine, just chilling.”
“Okay baby, see you soon.” The line goes quiet, and I decide to fix my makeup and hair before they get back. The house is quiet as I step into the kitchen where a big glass container with homemade cookies is sitting on the middle of the counter. I grab a glass of water and head upstairs to Josh’s room. On the way up, something catches my eye as I pass Lilly’s room.
I push her door open, and there, on the bed is a guy, sitting quietly, looking out the window. I gulp, looking around in a panic.
“Hello, can I help you?” my voice sounds brittle as I push the door open all the way and switch on the light.
Shivers run down my back as he turns his head, slowly, and then looks back at me with a crooked smile. “Hello, my name is Colby.”
Chapter 33
The glass drops to the floor as every vein in my body turns to ice. “Colby?”
He gets up slowly and stands by the edge of the bed. He is small-built but athletic. The serpentine-like smile fades slightly as he turns his head away from me, looking at the dressing table.
“She had long blonde hair, just like you.”
Lilly had black hair. Who the fuck was he talking about?
“Who are you talking about? “
He looks back at me, his eyes glazed over. The brown sweater he wears has food or vomit on the front, and his pants are muddy on the knees.
“Do I need to call someone to come get you?”
His smile grows, and he lets out a sinister little laugh. He takes a step forward. “I’ve come to see Mary’s replacement.”
“Who’s Mary?” I reach backwards for the wall, but only air pushes through my open hand.
“My sister, she loved him, just like you. Couldn’t stop talking about how wonderful Joshua Roxwell was, as if he was a god.” He looks down and then takes another step forward.
“He fucked her, over and over and over until she was bleeding. I watched them…fuck, before she got sick…” his voice goes deeper, and when he looks up again, his bottom lip is trembling.
Hurricane Butterfly Page 11
