The Perfectly Proper Prince

by Suzanne Williams

  At first they seemed a very ordinary lot: beautiful and well-mannered, of course, but not terribly exciting. But as the ninth princess stepped forward to curtsy, Lysandra felt a strong rush of wind enter the Hall. Looking up, Lysandra saw a girl on a flying carpet. The carpet zoomed from the ceiling to the floor and came to an abrupt halt at Lysandra’s feet.

  The princess riding the carpet tumbled off. “Whoa there. Sorry!” she cried, jumping up. Then she swayed, as if she might faint.

  “Are you okay?” asked Lysandra.

  The girl grinned. “I’m fine. Just dizzy.” She curtsied clumsily. “Princess Fatima. Glad to meet you.”

  Lysandra studied Princess Fatima as Queen Rowena spoke with her. She had long black hair, dark skin, and almond-shaped eyes. She was wearing a pink silk blouse and purple pantaloons that resembled a skirt split into trousers. Her feet were bare.

  Gabriella rang a little bell and a chambermaid came into the Hall. “Please take Princess Fatima to her quarters. I’m sure she’d like to change into more proper attire.”

  Princess Fatima blushed. “But this is how I always dress. I don’t even own a skirt. It would just fly up when I travel.”

  Gabriella sniffed. “I’m sure we can find you a suitable gown among Lysandra’s things. You seem to be about her size.”

  “I think you look fine just as you are,” said Lysandra. Gabriella was so rude! “But if you want to borrow something of mine, you can.”

  “Thank you,” said Princess Fatima. “But I’d rather stay as I am.” She curtsied again, then went off to sit with the other princesses.

  Lysandra watched her walk away. Maybe if she apologized to Fatima later on for Gabriella’s remark, Fatima would offer to give her a ride on the flying carpet. With a flying carpet, one could go anywhere! Fatima seemed like just the kind of princess Lysandra had been wishing to meet. She hoped there’d be others like her at the auditions tomorrow.

  4

  The Auditions

  LYSANDRA CHECKED HER LIST OF NAMES. “Princess Penelope!” she called out. It was the seventh name on her list. The first six princesses to audition that morning had included two singers and four dancers. The first singer had been dreadful, but the second was pretty good, though she’d had to stretch her voice to reach the high notes. The dancers could waltz and twirl wonderfully, but that wasn’t the kind of talent Lysandra was after. What use would singing and dancing be during an adventure?

  A red velvet curtain had been installed in the Audience Room for the auditions. It parted now and Princess Penelope walked out, holding a golden ball.

  Gabriella leaned forward in her chair. “Please tell us your talent.”

  Princess Penelope, short and stout, smiled dreamily. “I’m a juggler.”

  “Where are your other balls?” asked Gabriella, frowning.

  “Other balls?” Penelope looked confused. “I only juggle one.” She threw her golden ball a foot in the air and caught it. Then she threw it a little higher and caught it again. After five or six times, Gabriella stopped her.

  “I think I might be able to throw a little higher still,” said Penelope. “Want me to try?”

  Gabriella pursed her lips. “No, thank you. That’s quite enough.”

  The next several princesses were also a pretty worthless lot. One princess held up a “magic” seashell. In a mysterious voice she said, “If you hold this to your ear, you’ll hear the ocean.”

  “What a nitwit,” Lysandra muttered under her breath. “Everyone knows that old trick.”

  Next Princess Minerva took off her shoes and showed the girls that her second toes were longer than her big toes. She was followed by a princess with webbed toes who released a jar of flies, then flicked an amazingly long tongue out of her mouth and zapped the flies up one by one. It seemed like a pretty good trick until another princess exposed her as a witch’s mistake—a frog turned into a princess.

  Hiding a smile, Lysandra consulted her list. “Princess Elena,” she called out.

  Princess Elena was slim and graceful, with soft, hazel eyes and frizzy brown hair. She recited a poem about a mermaid and a sea serpent. Elena had a lovely, soothing voice and recited well, but Lysandra didn’t think she seemed the adventurous type.

  “Very nice,” Gabriella said, nodding appreciatively when Elena had finished.

  Elena blinked as if unaware that anyone had been listening. “Thank you.” She curtsied shyly, then sat down to watch the rest of the auditions.

  “Princess Tansy!” Lysandra called out when there were only five princesses left to perform.

  The curtains parted and out stepped a boyish-looking girl with short, ginger-colored hair and freckles. She held up a wooden instrument. “This is a magic flute,” she said.

  Gabriella rolled her eyes. “And what’s magic about it?” she asked wearily.

  “It was carved by a wizard and sings what people are thinking.”

  “O-kay,” Gabriella said, plainly disbelieving.

  Tansy pressed her lips to the flute and began to play. A sprightly melody floated through the air and made Lysandra feel like dancing. Suddenly a swirl of voices rose above the melody. Lysandra was startled to hear the thought she’d had just a moment ago come drifting back to her: This music makes me feel like dancing.

  Then she heard one of Gabriella’s thoughts: That’s not a proper flute. A proper flute is shiny and silver with sweeter-sounding tones.

  She plays prettily enough, but what a horrible haircut, came a thought from a princess who had already auditioned. And that dress she’s wearing hangs on her like a flour sack.

  I wish I hadn’t muffed my last cartwheel, came another thought. What if I don’t make it into the talent show?

  Finally the song came to an end. Grinning mischievously, Tansy pulled her flute away from her lips. “Just so everyone knows,” she said, “this is a proper flute, I like my haircut, and this happens to be my favorite dress.” She gave a bow instead of a curtsy, then disappeared behind the curtain.

  Gabriella’s jaw dropped. “Well, I never!”

  Lysandra smiled. She was going to have to get to know Tansy better.

  Of the next three princesses, the first could wiggle her ears, the second could fold herself into a pretzel, and the third could cross her eyes, whistle, and tap-dance all at the same time. The very last princess to audition was Princess Fatima. She glided through the curtain on her flying carpet and performed a dizzying variety of loop the loops, figure eights, and sudden drops from the ceiling. It was during one of these drops that she lost her hold and tumbled head over heels onto the floor, badly skinning one knee.

  “Bats and bullfrogs!” she exclaimed loudly.

  Seeming more horrified at Princess Fatima’s outburst than her injury, most of the princesses covered their ears. But Princess Elena rushed to Fatima’s side. Swiftly Elena pulled a small blue bottle from the folds of her gown. She poured several drops of a white, creamy lotion into her hand, then gently applied the lotion to Fatima’s knee, which healed instantly.

  Now that was a useful talent, thought Lysandra. Maybe she’d misjudged the shy, poetry-reading princess after all.

  Fatima stood up. After testing her knee with a few practice kicks, she hugged Elena. “Thanks! You’re terrific.”

  Lysandra nodded. Fatima, Tansy, and Elena. Those would be her top choices for talent—and, she hoped, for future friends.

  5

  The Departures

  “I’VE COMPILED A LIST OF THE TOP TEN ACTS,” Gabriella said to Lysandra after the other princesses had left to prepare for dinner.

  Lysandra scanned Gabriella’s list. Of the three princesses whom Lysandra had chosen, Gabriella had only picked Elena. “Well, at least we agree on her,” Lysandra said, pointing to Elena’s name.

  Gabriella nodded. “She recites very well, doesn’t she? And did you know she asked to borrow my copy of Courtly Manners and Duties when she saw me reading it last night? Of course I gave it to her right away.”

>   “Hmm,” said Lysandra. In her mind, wanting to read Courtly Manners and Duties was a black mark against Elena. But she still approved of Elena’s healing abilities and her kindness to Fatima. “Why aren’t Princess Fatima and Princess Tansy on your list?” she asked. “I thought they had the best acts of all.”

  Gabriella sniffed. “I don’t think riding a flying carpet should be classified as a ‘talent,’ since the carpet does all the work. Besides, Princess Fatima fell off. As for Princess Tansy, her technique was good, but some of her notes were flat. And I am firmly of the opinion that one’s thoughts should remain private.”

  Lysandra frowned. “But Tansy and Fatima are my choices. Please add them to your list.”

  “But we said we’d only pick ten,” Gabriella protested. “It wouldn’t be proper to choose twelve.”

  Lysandra crossed her arms stubbornly. “Then take two off your list.”

  “I can’t do that,” Gabriella said, just as stubbornly as Lysandra.

  In the end, however, Gabriella reluctantly agreed to twelve acts. Lysandra announced the finalists in the Banquet Hall during dinner. There were applause for the winners and groans and a few tears from the losers. The next morning the twenty-one princesses who hadn’t been chosen departed the castle.

  Now that the auditions were over, Lysandra was eager to spend time with the three princesses she wanted to befriend. She couldn’t have cared less about the talent show. After sending for Fatima, Tansy, and Elena, Lysandra asked them to wait for her in her bedchamber. She wasn’t worried about Gabriella coming up to their room, as she and Queen Rowena had gone for a walk in the Royal Gardens. The three princesses looked at Lysandra questioningly but did as she asked.

  Meanwhile, Lysandra snuck into her mother’s room. She painted her face and neck with bright red spots and drew dark lines under her eyes. Then she gathered the remaining nine princesses together. In the most pathetic voice she could manage, Lysandra said, “I’m very sorry to have to tell you this, but last night I came down with the plague.” She coughed without covering her mouth. The nine princesses squealed and scooted as far away from her as they could get.

  Lysandra faked a sneeze. “I’m afraid the talent show will have to be cancelled,” she said in a croaky voice, “but I promised prizes, so…” Pulling her magic purse from around her neck, she poured a pile of coins onto a table. “You may each help yourself to fifty coins. Just think of all the new gowns and miles of embroidery thread you’ll be able to buy!”

  When the nine princesses hesitated to pick up the coins, Lysandra said, “Don’t worry. They’re plague-free. I haven’t even touched them.”

  Sighing with relief, the princesses scrambled to pick up the coins. “Please don’t mention my illness to anyone,” Lysandra said, “especially not to Gabriella. She doesn’t know I’m sick, and the doctor says she’s likely to get it too. I don’t want her to know until she must.” She paused and coughed again. “Even though Gabriella isn’t showing symptoms yet, she’s probably highly contagious. You might want to skip saying good-bye to her when you leave.”

  With coins clutched in their fists, the nine princesses edged around Lysandra, keeping as far away from her as possible. Once the princesses were out of the room, they raced down the corridors to their quarters, packed up their belongings, and fled. Lysandra couldn’t help grinning as the drawbridge was lowered and nine horse-drawn carriages thundered across and into the countryside.

  6

  Lysandra Explains

  LYSANDRA PULLED OUT A LACE HANDKERCHIEF and wiped off her makeup, then ran to her bedchamber. Fatima, Tansy, and Elena looked up as she burst into the room. A frown played at the corners of Fatima’s mouth. “We’ve been waiting here for over an hour—”

  “Sorry,” Lysandra said quickly. “It couldn’t be helped.”

  “What’s up?” asked Tansy, who was polishing her flute with a rag.

  Lysandra looked at the princesses. “I’m afraid there won’t be any talent show after all.”

  Elena’s soft, hazel eyes widened. “Why not?”

  Hoping they wouldn’t hate her for what she’d done, Lysandra took a deep breath. “Because I sent all the others away.”

  “What?” exclaimed Fatima. “Are you nuts?”

  Tansy just looked amused. Maybe she didn’t care all that much about the talent show, anyway.

  Laying a hand on Fatima’s arm, Elena said, “Let’s hear what Lysandra has to say.”

  Lysandra plopped down beside them. “I wanted to meet other princesses my age,” she explained. “The auditions were a way to do that. Now there’s no need for a talent show.”

  Fatima’s dark eyes flashed. “Why, of all the cheap tricks—”

  Lysandra held up a hand. “No, wait. You have to understand. I hate sewing, and dressing up, and doing all the other things a proper princess does. I want adventure.”

  “Well, what’s that got to do with us?” Fatima asked, sounding more puzzled than angry now.

  “I picked the three of you because…well, because you were different from the others,” Lysandra explained. “You seemed like fun. I thought maybe the four of us could have adventures together.”

  The three princesses looked at her in surprise. “What are you getting at?” asked Tansy. “You want the four of us to form some kind of a…club?”

  Lysandra nodded. “Only in our club we’d do exciting things—like rescuing towns-people from a fire-breathing dragon.”

  Fatima cocked her head. “That would be exciting all right.”

  “Maybe too exciting,” said Elena.

  Lysandra grinned. “Well, we could start with a smaller, easier adventure.”

  “Like what?” Elena asked.

  “I don’t know. But we could search for one.”

  Fatima nodded. “I’m beginning to like your idea.”

  “You can count me in,” said Tansy.

  “Me too,” said Elena.

  Footsteps sounded in the corridor. “Shh,” Lysandra said hurriedly. “It’s probably Gabriella. She doesn’t know I cancelled the talent show yet.”

  Sure enough, Gabriella strode into the room. “The oddest thing just happened—,” she said, then stopped when she noticed the three princesses with Lysandra. “Pardon me. I didn’t see you had company.”

  “It’s okay,” said Lysandra. “Go on.”

  Gabriella sank onto a cushion. “I was out in the courtyard overseeing the final work on the stage when Princess Lavinia, one of the dancers, came running by. I called to her and she shrieked as if I was some kind of monster! Then she covered her mouth with her handkerchief and raced away like the devil was after her.”

  Fatima looked at Lysandra and lifted an eyebrow.

  Lysandra pretended not to notice. “How very strange,” she said. “Listen, Gabriella, I’m sorry to have to tell you this, but nine of the twelve princesses who were supposed to perform in the talent show, including Princess Lavinia, have gone home.”

  “What?” Gabriella’s face went pale. “Why would they do that?”

  Tansy piped up. “Stage fright?”

  Gabriella shook her head. “What are we supposed to do now?”

  “You’ve still got the three of us,” Elena said with a smile.

  Gabriella looked at them suspiciously. “So why are the three of you the only ones who stayed?”

  “Because Lysandra asked us to,” said Fatima matter-of-factly. “Besides,” she said, looking around at the others, “we don’t suffer from stage fright.” She smiled at Gabriella. “Would you still like us to perform?”

  “Three acts wouldn’t be nearly enough,” said Gabriella.

  But Lysandra knew—and felt sure Fatima did, too—that Gabriella hadn’t cared much for the flying-carpet act. Nor had she liked having her thoughts revealed by Tansy’s magic flute.

  “Why don’t we call back some of the others?” Lysandra suggested slyly. “I bet we could get Princess Penelope and her one-ball juggling act.”

  “Or
the Magic Seashell Princess,” Elena added.

  Tansy grinned. “I liked Princess Minerva with the long second toes.”

  Gabriella groaned. “It’s no good. We’ll have to cancel the show.” She rose to her feet, mumbling “very improper business, indeed” and “things like this just aren’t done” as she went out the door.

  Fatima turned to Lysandra. “About those nine princesses…why did they really leave?”

  Lysandra blushed. “I told them I had the plague. It was the only thing I could think of that would get them to leave quickly.”

  Fatima and Tansy laughed so hard that tears rolled down their faces.

  Elena shook her head, but Lysandra could see she was smiling.

  7

  Up and Away

  THAT NIGHT GABRIELLA SLEPT IN ANOTHER room so that the princesses could share the bedchamber with Lysandra. The four girls talked and giggled late into the night. Lysandra had never had so much fun.

  Tansy, who at nine was the youngest of the princesses, had six brothers. “All of them are big practical jokers,” she said. “They’d make my life miserable if it wasn’t for my flute. It’s the only way I can find out ahead of time when they’re scheming to put snakes in my bed or worms in my porridge.”

  Elena, on the other hand, was eleven and an only child. She loved books and had an amazing ability to remember whatever she read. It was part of the reason she was so good at reciting poetry. To Lysandra’s relief, Elena didn’t think much of Courtly Manners and Duties. “‘The refined lady prefers polite conversation and sewing to reading,’” she recited. “‘Too much reading tires the brain.’ What rubbish. The only reading that tires my brain is this book!”

  “It’s perfect nonsense,” Fatima agreed. At twelve, she was the oldest of the four girls. Like Lysandra, she had one older sister. But her sister was married and had a baby, so Fatima was an aunt. She wrinkled her nose. “Speaking of nonsense, I don’t know why everyone says babies are so adorable. My nephew, Hassim, smells funny, and his bald head looks like a squashed pumpkin!”