Being Mary Ro

by Ida Linehan Young

  “What does it say? Mary, what does it say?” Bridie said.

  Mary put her hand to her lips. “I made it, Bridie. I’m going to be a doctor!”

  Bridie grabbed her and gave her a big hug. “Celebrations are in order. I’ll invite Nellie and Theresa and their families. Oh, Helen and James must come. And of course your Danol.”

  “He’s not my Danol,” she said. “You know that, Bridie. I’m committed to Peter Nolan. This letter puts me closer than I ever thought possible. And I’m going home in the spring.”

  “Spring is a long ways away, dear sister,” Bridie said under her breath as she turned and busied herself with plans for a party.

  By that evening the house was packed with people. Everyone congratulated her. Danol was the last to arrive, and Mary couldn’t stop herself from continuously glancing toward the foyer. When they heard a knock, Bridie asked, “Would you like to get that?”

  Mary’s stomach fluttered as she opened the door. A big bouquet of red roses filled the entrance. Danol peeped around them. “Hi, Dr. Mary Rourke. I heard you had some good news today.” Danol handed her the flowers. “Sorry I’m late. I had to pick these up.”

  “The roses are beautiful. Thank you, Danol.”

  “You deserve so much more. Congratulations, Mary.”

  Bridie spoke behind them. “Mary, invite Danol in. Danol, what beautiful flowers.” She took the flowers and looked behind him. “You didn’t bring your friend?”

  “No. Maude was engaged elsewhere.”

  Bridie replied with something insincere about that being too bad and ushered them to where the rest of the guests waited.

  The evening went by in a whirl. Mary told everyone that she had to take two chemistry courses along with the medical training during the first year. She had to be successful with these courses in order to continue in the program.

  “Mary, it’s still acceptable to train with a doctor instead of going through university,” Theresa said. “Are you sure you want to spend the next five or six years in school?”

  “Can’t your doctor friend back home teach you the things you need to know?” Nellie asked. “You plan to go back there anyway. Don’t you? Why waste your time in school?”

  “Yes. I do plan to go back and marry Peter Nolan. You all know this,” Mary said. “And I want to do this right. I’ll never feel like a real doctor unless I do it through the medical school. I want it to be real.”

  “Hear, hear!” said Helen.

  “Mary will do very well in university,” Danol said.

  Bridie nodded. “And she can stay here in Boston as long as she wants.”

  Robert Ayre was eager to change the subject to current politics and invited all the men out to the den for a nightcap and a cigar.

  Over the next few days, Mary and her sisters went shopping for school supplies and clothes. They took her sightseeing as well. Her life was on a fast track compared to John’s Pond. Everything was so new to her that there was wonder in every trip out of the house. She recorded as much as she could in her letters to Meg.

  When Danol came by on Friday evening, he promised to take her to her first day of university classes. She accepted his offer and told him that Robert’s office was near the university, so both she and Robert could travel together during the semester.

  Monday morning, Danol arrived bright and early so she could have lots of time to look around the school and find her class. Mary began to tremble in anticipation and fear. As they neared the school, Danol laid his hand over hers to help calm her nerves.

  “Mary, I know this must be so foreign to you. But trust yourself. You have great instincts, and you’re a very smart woman.” Danol looked into her eyes and stared for a moment. “I don’t know what this will mean, but I am very proud of you, Mary.”

  Mary blushed. “Thank you, Danol. I’m nervous, but this is what I want. I don’t care how hard it is, because I know I can do it.”

  She refused to be escorted inside and chose instead to make this step on her own. She opened the door to the unknown and plunged in with both apprehension and enthusiasm.

  She found the space that was to be her classroom and laboratory for the next several months. It was filled with a lot of dark wooden furniture, which was daunting at first blush. There were no windows, and the walls were covered in plain yellow paper. A huge podium stood at the front of the room between two large chalkboards. A long worn table ran perpendicular to the podium and stretched out almost to the back. On each side of the table were rounded benches that ran from one end of the table to the other. They were three tiers deep, with each tier built up so that whoever sat there would be head and shoulders above the people in front of them. The benches would fit five to six people each, which meant there could be up to thirty people in the class.

  Mary sat in the second row with her back to the door and placed her satchel of supplies on the seat next to her. She stared in awe and wonder until she heard the door open and students began to slowly file in. She introduced herself to the first couple of people and felt a warm reception. By the time class started, there were eighteen men and two women besides her in the room.

  After introductions from the doctor who would be teaching them, all the class members were given an opportunity to talk about themselves. Most of them spoke of picking a specialization for one reason or another and wanted work in hospitals in Boston and the surrounding cities. When it came to Mary’s turn, she expressed her plans to work on a medical boat in little communities in coastal Newfoundland. This idea captured the interest of the other students, who were already hearing of the exploits of Dr. Wilfred Grenfell.

  By the end of the day, the two female students, Elizabeth Quinn and Mary Barnes, sought her out and the three formed an alliance for the semester. In order to distinguish the two Marys, one was called Mary B, and she became, again, Mary Ro. Even here, the irony of how she couldn’t escape her past wasn’t lost on her.

  Mary found the university difficult but rewarding as she immersed herself into topics like basic science and germ therapy and techniques like homeopathic cures, a few with which Mary was already familiar. The three women became good friends, and they often studied together at the school late into the evening. Every Friday, like clockwork, Danol was waiting to pick her up, and he would have supper with the family.

  By the end of September, Danol finished with his police work, and Mary attended the dinner they held in his honour. She looked forward to his company and their monthly trips to see how the Angel Endeavours was progressing.

  In October, she got her first letter from Meg, who was quite amazed at all the things Mary had written. There wasn’t much happening in John’s Pond that was worthy of more than a few lines. However, Meg had lots to say about Richard and how close they had become. Meg had heard nothing about Peter and believed that Mary probably knew more about the fire in St. John’s than she did. Mary was disappointed but overall happy that Meg was doing well.

  “Bridie, I should’ve heard from Peter by now,” Mary said. “Do you think he’s gotten my letter?”

  “Yes. I’m sure he must be busy. I wouldn’t worry about it.”

  “I’m trying not to worry. I can’t help it. I hope nothing is wrong.”

  “Don’t get yourself in a tizzy,” Bridie said, absently scrubbing the table. “He’s probably helping out at the hospital and doesn’t have time to write you back. There could be any number of reasons.”

  “I hope you’re right. I’m terribly worried about the whole situation. I didn’t have time to talk to him. I wish I had to have more time.” Mary burst into tears. “I don’t know what’s the matter with me! The whole uncertainty is getting to me.”

  Bridie hugged her. “Don’t worry, Mary. Things will work out like they should. You have a lot going on right now with school. I don’t know how you do it.”

  “Thanks, Bridie. I’m sur
e you’re right. Useless worry, as Mom would say.” Mary dried her tears and straightened her dress. “I don’t know what came over me.”

  “That’s right, sister dear. Useless worry.”

  By mid-November, just two weeks after his last police shift, Danol had some news for her on her Friday night escort home.

  “Mary, I plan on signing on with a fishing vessel out to the Grand Banks. The captain of the Nellie Dixon is in Boston with a load of dried fish and plans to return to the fall fishery in Newfoundland. I’ll be back in Boston by Christmas. The boat is the same measurements as ours, and it will give me a chance to be at sea and learn navigation, winds, weather patterns, and such. The captain agreed to take me on for a price, and I promised not to be in the way.”

  “So you will be gone for several weeks, Danol? Is it safe to go this time of the year?”

  “I have assurances from the captain that it is. He’s on the water all year round.”

  “You know, the state established a home for widows and orphans of fishermen whose captains probably thought the same thing,” she countered. Mary chewed her bottom lip. “I know there are no guarantees for anyone, but I’ll worry about you when you go. When do you leave?”

  “On tomorrow’s evening tide. I’ll be safe, Mary. I’ll be back by Christmas,” he promised.

  He told Bridie and Robert of his plans that evening during supper. They, too, were worried because of the time of the year. However, as Robert noted, if he didn’t get his experience now, it would make it more difficult in the spring to hire a captain for their own boat.

  The next afternoon, Mary escorted him to the wharf.

  Danol gave her a hug and held her shoulders. “You don’t know how much you mean to me, Mary. I look forward to spending our Friday evenings together and will surely think of you until I return.”

  “Oh, Danol, I’ll miss you,” she said, choking back tears. “You be careful and make sure you come back to me. I don’t know what I would do if anything happened to you.”

  “Now, now, my Mary. No need for tears. I’ll be back before you know it,” he said, hugging her again.

  “You better be back, as I don’t know how to steer our boat,” she said. She tried to laugh to stop the flow of tears.

  “That’s right, Mary. You don’t. And only men can be captains,” he joked, knowing that Mary could certainly be anything she wanted. “Now stop making a spectacle of yourself and me and be on your way. If you’re good, I’ll bring you a present for Christmas.”

  “Danol, don’t tease. I want you to be safe.”

  “I know, Mary. I know. Now I’ve got to go. Keep your nose in your books, and I’ll see you in a few weeks.” He gave her another squeeze and caressed her hair. “Aw, hell,” he said, before he grabbed her by the arms, pulled her close, and kissed her soundly on the lips. Then he turned and ran up the gangway onto the ship, giving her a quick wave and brilliant smile when he reached the top. She had a sudden realization that he was where he wanted to be.

  She touched her lips and wondered if she was. Peter Nolan, Peter Nolan, Peter Nolan, she repeated over and over in her head. It was no use—Danol Cooper got tangled in the repetition before too long.

  She watched the boat from a distance, catching glimpses of Danol’s head every now and again. She barely held back her tears as she thought about her own life and how complicated it had become. Now familiar with the route, she made her way back to Bridie’s. How would she appease the strange feelings rising inside her?

  “I was just going to send Robert to look for you,” Bridie said.

  “I’m sorry, Bridie. I should’ve been more thoughtful. I waited until the ship left.”

  “You mean you stayed on the docks. I thought Danol had better sense. Mary, that could’ve been dangerous.”

  “Danol didn’t know. I watched him from behind some barrels.” Mary suddenly began to cry. “Oh, Bridie. What am I going to do without him? I’ve come to depend on him being here.”

  Bridie hugged Mary and patted her back. “It’s all right, honey. He’ll be fine.”

  “I hope so. But I don’t know that I’ll be,” Mary said, as the tears spilled from her eyes. “I don’t know why I feel this way.”

  She quashed the panicked feelings, wiped her eyes, squared her shoulders, and moved out of Bridie’s embrace. Maybe Danol’s leaving was for the best. She had come to rely on him too much, and she knew it. Why had he kissed her? What of Peter? She hadn’t heard from him since she sent her letter, and that was bothering her more than she showed.

  The first week of December, Mary took Bridie and Robert to visit the builder to see the progress on the boat. The sails were already ordered, and the boat would be in the water and have the rigging attached before the end of January. If all went well with the interior work, they would have possession in April as planned.

  Bridie took her shopping at Edgar’s and RH White, as well as other department stores around Boston. It was a much-needed relief from her studies. The Christmas decorations at the shops were lavish both inside and out. Mary was still amazed at the differences between what would now always be her old life and this new fantasy that she seemed to be living. It was quite unbelievable at times.

  Mid-December she had exams and then two weeks holiday before starting the next gruelling semester early in January. She didn’t have much time to think, but when she did, Peter was on her mind, and now, too, was Danol. Despite the distraction, she did very well on her assessments and was allowed to continue studies into the new year. Both her female classmates did equally well and, similar to her, were eager for the rest between terms.

  Now, with time to think, Mary began to worry about Danol. The fall had been stormy with a lot of snow and high winds. She wished she could be rid of the uneasy feeling so she could celebrate with her family in what should have been an exciting and joyous time.

  Robert asked around the docks and checked the newspapers for news of the Nellie Dixon. Several ships had been lost in a particularly fierce storm two weeks before, but there was nothing regarding Danol’s vessel.

  Bridie took her Christmas shopping. She offered her money, but Mary chose to use some of the money from the tin can she had brought from home. She bought some toys for her nieces and nephews and clothes for the rest of her family. For Mrs. Ange she purchased a delicate set of salt and pepper shakers. She overindulged on a gift for Meg, buying her a beautiful pink satin dress that would have no use in John’s Pond. She was sure that Meg would appreciate it anyway. They quickly packaged up the parcel and brought it to the post office. Mary asked Bridie to check and see if she had word from Peter, but there was nothing.

  19

  Christmas Eve came, and the family went to Midnight Mass at the Cathedral of the Holy Cross. Mary, distracted with worry for Peter and Danol, was robbed of the peace and beauty of the season. The children were excited as Santa Claus was coming, another tradition that Mary had almost forgotten. She tried her best to join the anticipation, but it was difficult. She went to bed that night with a heavy heart, wondering if Peter was spending Christmas without his son and if Danol was somewhere safe aboard a ship.

  She had sent several more letters to Peter, but she had not been able to reach him. Or she had reached him and he was ignoring her correspondence. She wasn’t sure which was worse.

  She tossed and turned most of the night and finally fell asleep before dawn. She awoke to the sounds of Christmas below her and smiled. Santa must have been good to the boys, she reckoned, despite Bridie’s loud “Shhh” for them to keep it down. She quickly dressed and joined her family.

  The smell of roast turkey invaded her senses and made her hungry. She’d had the meat only once before—on Thanksgiving—and realized she had a taste for it. She decided she wasn’t going to spoil anyone’s Christmas with her worries. That wouldn’t be fair.

  Theresa and Nellie and their families ar
rived with more brightly coloured packages and parcels. There was pandemonium in the house. The children quickly unwrapped the gifts from Mary. She was surprised to see all the presents with her name on them. She received lovely scarves, leather gloves, boots, and other clothing. Her family was generous, and Mary was deeply touched. In the past, her sisters had sent gifts to her in John’s Pond, but today, with family around, there was no greater gift.

  By noon, they all gathered at the huge table in the dining hall. The room had been lavishly decorated with garlands, ribbons, green boughs, and bows. An enormous Douglas fir stood adorned with candles and decorations in the corner, its scent mixing with the smells of the delicious feast being readied in the kitchen.

  Before the meal could be served, she heard a commotion in the foyer. She thought it sounded like Danol’s voice and bolted from her chair to find out.

  The man before her was Danol’s height, but he had a dark beard and his hair was much longer. When their eyes met, he smiled, and uninhibited, she launched herself into his arms.

  “Merry Christmas! I almost didn’t make it,” he whispered into her ear as he squeezed her tight and twirled her around.

  She started to cry with relief that he was here. “Where did you come from?”

  “I got in Boston a short time ago on a vessel out of Ferryland.” He went on to explain how severe weather had forced the Nellie Dixon into the safety of the harbour. The men on her were all Newfoundlanders and didn’t fancy spending Christmas away from home. “They are delayed until the New Year. I managed to get a berth with a crew heading back to Boston trying to make it home to their families for Christmas. The storm had stranded them in Ferryland as well.”

  “I’m just glad you’re here,” she said, leading him into the hall.

  Bridie and Robert welcomed him for dinner with the rest of the family. They talked about his adventures. Mary couldn’t keep her eyes off him. He looked so different, yet happy. After dinner, when the kids settled into playing with their toys, Danol and Mary sat in the privacy of the parlour. Mary had tea while Danol sipped on a whiskey.