Beyond the Orange Moon (Mathews Family Book 2)

by Adrienne Frances

  Alcohol and Ben never really mixed well. It was the tool he’d used to drown his demons. And, man, did Ben have some demons. He’d had to lose everything to figure that out, but hey, he made it.

  “Why did you want to come here?” Charlie asked him. “We could’ve gone anywhere.”

  Ben shot Charlie a look and smirked. “I just felt like coming to Ollie’s, I guess.”

  “Uh huh.” Charlie looked around the bar, wondering if Michael would come in. That would be the ultimate test. Ben always acted so nonchalant about the whole Dylan-Michael debacle, but it wasn’t in his face all the time now that they lived on the other side of the country, either.

  “So,” Ben began. “What’s new, brother?”

  Charlie leaned back in his stool and took a sip from his beer. “Get it out, brother. You think I don’t know my sister made you bring me out today? She practically wrestled Jack from my arms and pushed me out the door with one shoe on.”

  Ben shrugged and grinned. “What can I say? She asks, I jump.”

  “That’s because you’re whipped to all hell,” Charlie responded quickly. “Seriously, get your man card out and put your foot down.”

  Ben shook his head. “No, thank you. I’m perfectly happy with her holding my man card.”

  Charlie nearly spit out his beer. “You get worse every time I see you.”

  “Yeah, yeah,” Ben said with a laugh. “I know. Anyway, let’s talk cupcakes.”

  “Fuck, Ben,” Charlie groaned, and turned his attention to the hockey game on one of the screens above him.

  This was not a welcome conversation, but Ben would push because Dylan asked him to. For two people who hated meddling as much as they did, those two sure were up in his business.

  Ben ignored Charlie’s reaction, of course, and pushed forward. “I’m just saying that any woman who can turn a buffalo wing into a cupcake is worth keeping.”

  “Hugh and Jonah have big mouths,” Charlie said, and twirled his wedding ring absentmindedly.

  “Take that fucking thing off, Charlie,” Ben snapped. “I get it, man, but how the hell are you going to move on with that still wrapped around your finger?”

  Charlie’s temper flared as he met Ben’s look of exasperation. He chewed on the inside of his cheek and thought about how bad it would be if he knocked Ben off of his stool. Ben couldn’t have cared any less, though, because nothing but Dylan fazed him. As a matter of fact, he would more than likely have enjoyed a good bar brawl just for old times’ sake. It wasn’t worth it to Charlie, so he let him continue.

  “Look,” Ben rambled on, “I don’t know how you feel. I can imagine, though. I hate when people say, ‘I couldn’t imagine if that happened to me.’ It’s bullshit. Of course they can imagine; it’s their worst nightmare. I don’t think I could live in a world without your sister.” He shook his head as he choked on that thought. “My life wouldn’t make sense without her.”

  “Is this talk supposed to help me?” Charlie asked with one brow raised.

  “I have a point,” Ben said.

  “Get to it,” Charlie demanded.

  “On the other hand, though, I do know your sister. She wouldn’t want me to freeze in place the way you have.”

  Charlie thought about that for a minute. He was well aware that Meredith wouldn’t want him to be alone, but knowing that was only half the problem. “Would you, though? Would you go on?”

  “I don’t know.” Ben sighed at the thought. Frustrated, he ran his hand through his hair and tightened his jaw. “It’s a lot easier for me to tell you this because I’m not you, Charlie. I get it. I do. Just hear me out as an outsider, okay? Don’t think about what I’d do, here.”

  Charlie waved him ahead and took a swig of his beer.

  “This is about what Meredith would want for you. I’m not Meredith; I’m too self-centered to even try and think like her. The point is that Meredith wouldn’t want you to be alone, Charlie. She’d want Jack to have someone who loves him as much as she would and she’d want you to have someone, too. Look at her damn recipe box. She marked all of your favorite recipes. Who do you think she did that for? Certainly not you; you can’t even cook.”

  “It’s not like she knew she was going to die, Ben.”

  “Yeah, well, she was always one prepared woman, that Meredith. I can imagine her being ready for even the idea that she might not be around as long as she’d hoped.”

  “So, you’re telling me to get married again.” Charlie shook his head as he laughed.

  “Absolutely not.” Ben chuckled and took a sip from his water. “Don’t put words in my mouth. I wouldn’t tell anyone to get married.”

  “You’re getting married,” Charlie reminded.

  Ben’s mouth curved into a wide grin. “That’s what you do when you find your other half.”

  “What if I already found my other half?”

  Ben leaned back and crossed his arms. He contemplated that for a minute and then squinted one eye. “Do you think that? Do you think we all just get one other half and then that’s it?”

  Charlie shrugged and turned his attention back to the hockey game. The Coyotes were playing the Red Wings, which reminded him of the war he had going on with Meredith’s parents, who were in Michigan. They wanted custody of Jackson. They had wanted him from the minute they’d lost Meredith and they weren’t subtle about it, either. “I don’t know what I think about anything anymore, Ben,” he practically whispered.

  “Then don’t marry anyone else. But you can be somewhat happy.” Ben growled out in frustration. “Jesus, Charlie, I hate talking about this sappy shit. I’m only sappy with Dylan and she gets naked for me when it happens.”

  “No,” Charlie grumbled with a grimace.

  “Sorry.” Ben chuckled and shook his head. “You’re only going to get this from me once and then I’m done forever: you like this girl. And it’s okay to like her. It’s not okay to go the rest of your life wondering what could’ve been.”

  Charlie nodded and picked at the label of his beer bottle. “You basically think I’m being a pansy,” he said matter-of-factly. There was really no point in beating around the bush.

  “I do,” Ben confirmed, his eyes on the TV. “Move your fucking ass, Oliver! God almighty, these guys are killing me.”

  “What’s up,” Jonah said as he took a seat on the other side of Ben. “Who’s winning?”

  “Detroit,” Ben said, and yelled, “Call hooking, you piece of shit!”

  Jonah nodded and flashed a smile at the petite bartender with “Ollie’s” across her tight shirt. She blushed in return and set down his beer. That same bartender had been flirting with Charlie for some time, to no avail, then moved on to Ben, who paid no attention to it whatsoever. Clearly, Jonah was her newest target.

  Jonah sipped his beer and glanced at Charlie. He gave a little smirk before saying, “So, Hugh’s about to jump on your little Cupcake, if you don’t. He had a few things to say about her when he called me on his way back to Cali.”

  Ben blew out a noisy breath and turned to Charlie. “There’s a Mathews line forming. You snooze you lose, man.”

  “I might have to get in that line,” Jonah teased. “Damn, Charlie.”

  Trying his best to ignore them, Charlie took a swig of beer. Yes, Lucy was sexy as hell, with her plump lips and bright blue eyes. She was the epitome of beauty and he knew it from the first moment he had laid eyes on her at the park. It was why he’d kept his distance in the first place. He didn’t want a one-night stand with her; she deserved more than that. And that night in the café … the way she’d whimpered into his chest, wrapped her legs around him, and called out his name … holy shit. That was enough to send him straight into a pleasure-induced coma. He didn’t know what to do with that, but it was the first time that he had let go; it was the first time that the memory of Meredith hadn’t blasted through his entire thought process and held him back.

  It was the first time in a long time he had felt good. Never
mind that he had needed a freezing cold shower the minute he got home; it was worth it.

  “You stay the hell away from her,” he demanded, shaking his head.

  “Don’t worry, brother. She doesn’t want Hugh,” Jonah said with a wink. “But you might want to step in soon. Women like that don’t stay single for long. Jackson seems to like her, and Dylan and Mom. What’s the problem? She made a buffalo chicken wing cupcake, for Christ’s sake. Brilliant.”

  “That’s exactly what I said,” Ben chimed in. “Brilliant.”

  “You two are obnoxious,” Charlie retorted. “You’re both annoying when you’re alone, but together? I want to slap the shit out of you both.”

  Ben and Jonah exchanged looks that Charlie would never understand. They shared the same brain and the rest of the world was only permitted access occasionally. It had been that way since they were four, that secret communication, and it drove everyone just as crazy then as it did now. It was no wonder that Ben had ended up with Jonah’s twin.

  The three of them fell quiet as the rest of the bar erupted into excitement at a Coyotes’ goal. Even Ben seemed to have lost his words.

  “So, have you seen her?” Jonah finally asked, slicing through the silence.

  Charlie shook his head and began to work on his beer label again. “I helped her with the cupcakes, we had a good time, and then she showed up to Jack’s party all cute and happy. Within two hours, she was running down my street.”

  Ben and Jonah both perked up and stared at Charlie with inquisitive smiles. That would be the comment that made them both jump and shift interests. It was too late, but Charlie was well aware that he had divulged too much with one simple sentence.

  Jonah chuckled, his eyes narrowed curiously. “What do you mean ‘we had a good time’?”

  “Don’t ask me that shit,” Charlie grumbled.

  Ben’s grin widened. “So, I think it’s safe to say something happened that was definitely none of our business.”

  “Well, considering what an asshole he still is, I think it’s safe to stay he didn’t get laid,” Jonah said.

  “Can we please stay on topic?” Charlie snapped. He lifted his head and met both of their intrigued looks. “She took off running because of a little bit of Meredith talk. I can’t blame her for being uncomfortable, but that’s not going to go away, ya know?”

  Ben shook his head. “Dylan doesn’t think that’s why she took off from Jack’s party. She thinks it was something else.”

  Charlie widened his eyes, urging Ben to explain.

  “She doesn’t know,” Ben answered.

  “Go talk to her, Charlie,” Jonah urged, exasperation in his voice. “Look, man, Meredith’s gone. We hate it. We miss her. It’s not fair, but it is what it is. You have a whole life ahead of you; Jack has a whole life ahead of him. Are you really going to spend the rest of it alone? I know you like Lucy. Go find her and figure this shit out.” Jonah threw his hands in the air and glared from Ben to Charlie. “That’s twice now that I’ve had to give a sentimental speech. Damn.”

  “Who me?” Ben asked, amusement in his eyes.

  “Yeah, you,” Jonah shot. “And with you I was stuck out in the pouring rain.” He took a drink from his beer and shook his head. “Christ. Both of you bring out the sap in me.”

  Ignoring their banter, Charlie blew out a heavy breath. “I can’t drag Lucy down this road. I don’t even know where it ends.”

  “It ends, Charlie,” Ben began, his smile fading, “wherever you make it end. And, right now, you need to think about how it begins. Nobody can make that call but you, and right now you might be blowing your chance at being happy.”

  Jonah smiled and nodded. “That might’ve been the most touching thing you’ve ever said, brother. I’m impressed.”

  Ben smiled and gave Jonah’s back a little pat. “Well, thanks, brother. I think this whole marriage thing might be rubbing off on me.”

  Charlie responded by folding his arms on the bar and burying his face in them. He groaned, and said, “You two are exhausting.”

  Chapter Eleven

  Eleven years before, a sixteen-year-old Charlie had flown into the night. He had barely seen the desert roads as he pulled the throttle down and increased his speed, disregarding everything his father had ever taught him about safety. The wind had whipped at his face, stinging his eyes and forcing more tears into the air behind him.

  He had been crying for hours. Ever since his parents had gathered them all in the kitchen to say that his father was dying.

  Fucking dying.

  He hadn’t listened to much of what they had said because he had stormed out to the garage and taken off on his father’s Harley. He hadn’t cared what they thought or how mad they’d be. He hadn’t been able to hear another word of the death sentence that had come out of nowhere.

  He hadn’t been sure how far he’d gone or how long he’d been riding.

  He’d just wanted to get the hell away from the grim reality back home.

  He was losing his father.

  He’d shaken away that thought and taken a corner too fast when the engine had begun to sputter and he’d nearly crashed. When the bike refused to start again, he put his foot down, realizing that he had stranded himself.

  “Well,” his father, Carl, had said after he found Charlie a few hours later, “it’s just as I expected.”

  “Can you fix it?” Charlie asked, ashamed.

  Carl grinned down at Charlie. “Nothing a little gas won’t fix.”

  “Gas?” Charlie asked, frustrated. “I’ve been sitting here because I ran out of gas? I’m such an idiot.”

  “Eh,” Carl had teased with a smirk. “We all have those moments, son.”

  “Don’t give me a speech right now.” Charlie groaned and got to his feet. “What’s the sense, Dad? You’re dying. A speech won’t make that go away.”

  Carl had pursed his lips. He leaned against the back of his truck and looked up into the dark sky. “Look at that orange moon,” he’d said. “That always amazes me.”

  Charlie looked up and felt nothing. “It’s a moon. It’s there every night.”

  Carl leveled a stern look at Charlie. “No, son. It’s not there every night.”

  “It’s a stupid moon.” Charlie shrugged indifferently.

  “An orange moon is rare. That’s why you need to slow down and look at it.” Carl had sighed as he looked back up into the sky. It was a sad sound, and one Charlie had the feeling his father had been trying to keep in check while in his presence. “And you don’t know if you’re ever going to get to see it again, so you cherish it while it’s there and remember it when it’s gone.”

  “What’s your point, Dad?” Charlie kicked the tire of the Harley. “It’s a moon; it comes and it goes, because that’s what moons do. I’m losing my father—not a stupid fucking moon!”

  “Don’t you get it, Charlie? You keep thinking about what you’re losing,” Carl had said, his eyes squinting as he waited for his son to understand. “It’s not what you lose; it’s how you live after the loss.”

  “I don’t want to lose you, Dad,” Charlie had finally snapped. “I don’t want to talk about the moon anymore and I sure as shit don’t want to lose you.”

  “You don’t have a choice. That’s life. You live, you learn, you love, and, unfortunately, you lose, and sometimes it’s hard.” Carl had put his hand on Charlie’s shoulder. “None of that matters, though. What matters is how you get back up to live and do it all over again; it’s what you do beyond the loss.”

  “Well, then life is pretty fucking pointless!” Charlie had yelled, hands fisted at his sides.

  “What do you want to do, son? I’m the one leaving you. You want to hit me?” Carl had stood tall as he stepped nose to nose with Charlie. “I’m not dead yet. Hit me. Do it. Let all that anger out.”

  Charlie shoved him away. He had wanted to punch something, but not his father. He wanted to punch the do
ctors, the universe, nature … whatever it was that was taking his hero away from him.

  “Let it out,” Carl had demanded. “Kick, scream, punch … whatever you gotta do. Do it here, with me, right now, because I’m not letting you walk away until I know that you’re going to be a man when I’m gone. I’m not going to let you crumble, you hear me?”

  Charlie kicked a rock into the night. He pulled off his jacket and threw it to the ground. He raised his hands and lifted his chin to the sky. His chest expanded with every breath he had in him until he’d let it out, screaming until he’d felt every vein in his body pulse. When he’d had no air left, he collapsed to the ground, heaving and exhausted, the tears streaming from his eyes and falling to the ground beneath him.

  Suddenly, he’d felt a strong hand on his back. “Now, get up, Charlie.”

  Charlie got to his knees and continued to sob. “I need you,” he’d whispered. “Please don’t leave me, Dad.”

  Within seconds, Charlie had been yanked to his feet and pulled into his father’s arms. Normally, he’d tense up and pull away. He’d known in that moment that it was one of the last times he’d ever feel his father’s love, so he’d just melted into him.

  Carl had pounded him on the back and pulled away. He’d placed one hand on Charlie’s face while he gripped his shirt with the other. “I’m always going to be with you, Charlie.” A tear had slipped from his eye as he placed his hand over Charlie’s heart. “I’m always going to be right in there. Always. Nothing can separate a man from his son—not even death. Do you hear me? Nothing.”

  Charlie wiped his tears and nodded.

  “Say it,” Carl had demanded. “Say that you know death isn’t shit when it comes to a man and his son. Say it.”