Scarred - The Complete Series

by Kylie Walker

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Chloe stood against the wrought iron railing on the balcony and watched the sun rise. She’d come out while it was still dark. Derek had seemed afraid to fall asleep last night. It was like he was afraid to take his eyes off of her. He’d made such sweet, gentle love to her that for that time, she’d forgotten it all. She put the bad memories where they belonged and she let herself forget for a second that Jesse would be coming for her soon.

  She had reveled in the feeling of his strong arms and his warm skin and the feel of his heart pounding for her in his chest. She finally fell asleep in his arms with his pretty blue eyes still trained on her. When she woke up a few hours later, he had fallen asleep too. She slipped out and put on the robe and made her way out to the balcony. She’d been out there for about an hour and the brilliant orange had just begun to pour out of the sun and spread across the horizon. The sky was turning blood red as dawn was breaking over the horizon.

  “Red sky in the morning, shepherd’s warning. Red sky at night, shepherd’s delight.” She turned at the sound of Derek’s voice. “Good morning,” he said.

  “Good morning,” she turned back towards the sky and he wrapped his arms around her from behind. “What does that mean?” she asked him.

  “It’s an old sailor saying,” he told her. “It means don’t take out the boat, a storm is on the horizon.”

  “Is it true?” she asked.

  “Not always,” he said, kissing the side of her face. “Do you want me to order us some breakfast? You need to eat something.”

  She smiled and turned to face him. “I’m not sure how long I can handle all of this being taken care of.”

  He nodded and knew that it wasn’t something she was used to…or even really needed for that matter. He was going to have a hard time not doing it though.

  “I know. Give me one more day and then I’ll try and control it,” he said with a grin.

  “You got it,” she said, “One more day. I still have a lot to tell you anyways.”

  He nodded solemnly then. While he ordered their breakfast, Chloe took her shower. He took his after they ate and then they sat on the balcony again and she said, “As hard as it was to talk about my childhood, it’s harder for me to talk about Jesse. The difference is I’ve come to terms with the fact that the little girl wasn’t supposed to be strong enough to fight. Someone was supposed to save her. I still struggle with the fact that it took me so long to save myself from Jesse.”

  “I don’t know what he did, but…”

  She reached over and put her fingers on his lips. “This is going to be harder if you get me all choked up before I even begin. Let me get through it and then if you have questions, we’ll go from there.”

  He nodded and kissed her fingers.

  She smiled at him and said, “I hated my home life so badly that I poured myself into my studies. I excelled at everything academic. I got straight “As” from kindergarten to graduation from high school. I graduated as valedictorian and I got a scholarship to NYU. I enrolled in the program to obtain my teaching credentials. I was still living at home, but I was doing all I could to save enough money to move out. My scholarship covered all of my school expenses but it wasn’t enough to live on. I got a job at the campus coffee shop. Minimum wage was paltry and because of carrying over eighteen units a semester, I could only work part time. Anyways, my point is that I was saving, but it was going slowly. I was just starting my second semester when I met him….”

  Chloe’s eyes shifted again and she was suddenly back there, in that coffee shop on the NYU campus the day the monster walked into her life.

  “Hi.”

  Kelly Ward was on the tail end of her second shift of the day. She had an exam in her evening class that night. Her feet were killing her and if one more stupid frat boy tried to hit on her she just might throw hot coffee on him. She jerked her head up at the sound and she was staring into a pair of green eyes, the color of jade. They were in the face of one of the most beautiful men that she had ever seen. His hair was an inky black and he had that kind of perfect skin that you only see on magazines where you knew they’d been airbrushed.

  “Um…hi,” she managed at last. The man smiled at her then and revealed that his teeth were as white and perfect as the rest of him. He was dressed casually in a green polo shirt and jeans and his black hair was stylishly mussed. On closer inspection she could see that his pretty green eyes were slightly blood-shot and he had very faint dark circles underneath them.

  “Can I get a really big coffee? The biggest and the strongest one you have?” he asked.

  “Sure,” she said. She picked up the cup and realized that her eyes hadn’t left his face. His were still on her as well. She felt her face go hot and she inwardly cursed herself for blushing. He was going to think she was a big dork.

  “Um, can I get your name for the cup?” she asked him.

  “Jesse,” he said.

  She used the sharpie and wrote his name on it. She didn’t really need it, since he was her only order and she was just going to turn and fill the cup. She’d just wanted to know what his name was, that way when she fantasized about him later; she had a name to go with the face…and the body. Damn! He had a really, really nice body. She forced herself to focus and fixed his coffee. When she handed the cup to him his fingers brushed hers and she actually shivered. What the hell is wrong with me? To Kelly, men meant one thing…trouble. All they ever seemed to want from her was the one thing her father had wanted, and she wasn’t giving that to them. There was no way that she was going to let any man see her scars. Someday, when she was a teacher and she had saved enough money, she would have them fixed. Until then, the terror of someone seeing them lived deep in her heart.

  “Thank you,” Jesse said with another smile. He handed her a ten dollar bill and she gave him his change. He seemed to make a point of touching her hand again and Kelly felt her stomach flutter as he did. He took his coffee to a small table by the door and opened the thick book that he must have sat there when he came in. Kelly tried to stay focused on her tasks, making coffee, serving it and refilling things for the next shift. Her eyes kept being drawn over to the man by the door. He was pouring over his book but every so often he would look over at her and his green eyes would capture her brown ones and he would smile.

  Kelly had no idea why a man like him would give a woman like her a second glance…but it was thrilling to her nonetheless. When her relief came in, Jesse was still seated by the door and as exhausted as she was, she was reluctant to leave. What if he never came in again? That was her first worry and then the second was when she realized she’d have to walk by him to leave. What if he talked to her? What would she say?

  Not having any other choice, she finally cashed out and collected her tips and her things. She sucked in a lungful of coffee-aroma filled air and walked towards the door. Her hand was actually on the handle when she heard him say, “Are you finished for the day?”

  She turned back to face him and with insides that felt like Jell-O she said, “Yeah, all done.” Brilliant, Kelly.

  “Do you live in the dorms?”

  “No,” she said. “But I’m not finished with classes yet for the day. I was just going to the library until my next class starts in a couple of hours.”

  Jesse snapped his book shut and said, “I could use some fresh air. Do you mind if I walk with you?”

  Shit! Shit! Damn! Hell! Kelly had no idea what to say to this man. If he walked with her, he would expect her to talk. When she didn’t…or even if she did, he would think she was an idiot.

  “Um…yeah, sure.” She mentally kicked her own ass. What was she doing? Jesse stood up and that was when she realized how long his legs were. He picked up his heavy book and she saw the flex of his biceps. Trouble, trouble, trouble, she told herself.

  He followed her out the door of the coffee shop and they walked along for a while not speaking. Finally, Jesse said, “I think you have me at a disadvantage.�
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  “What’s that?” she said.

  “You know my name, but you haven’t told me yours.”

  “It’s Kelly,” she said, “Kelly Ward.”

  “Well, Kelly Ward, I’m Jesse Donovan. It’s really nice to meet you.” He grinned at her and her heart stopped for just a second.

  “You too,” she said, returning the smile. Trying hard to make conversation she had looked at the book he carried and said, “Are you a law student?”

  He nodded. “My last year,” he said. “Thankfully. I haven’t slept in three, I think.” That explained the blood shot eyes, she thought.

  She smiled and said, “I know the feeling.”

  “What are you studying pretty Kelly?” Kelly’s world tipped on its axis. Did he just call her pretty? Was he blind…or insane?

  “I’m studying to be a teacher,” she told him.

  “A teacher huh? Lucky kids,” he said.

  She felt herself blush again. They’d just approached the library and he reached over her and opened the door. He held it open for her and followed her in. Great! She was never going to be able to concentrate on studying with him in the room. He followed her over to a table where they both sat down and she took out her books. Her test was in Sociology tonight and luckily, it was a subject she had no trouble with at all. He picked up her book and looked at it. “Sociology happens to be one of my best subjects,” he said, “You’re in luck.”

  Kelly smiled, “Don’t you have your own work to do?”

  “I’d rather help you with yours,” he said.

  She didn’t need any help, but she didn’t tell him that. For the next hour, he quizzed her and she found out that he was right, he did know his sociology. He was gorgeous and smart and from the way he dressed and carried himself, very likely rich. She knew he was miles out of her league, even if she wanted a man in her life. She didn’t so there were two good reasons for her to just enjoy today and know it would go no further. After she’d answered all of the quiz questions correctly he said, “What time is your class?”

  “At seven.”

  “It’s only six,” he said, “Are you hungry?”

  “Um…no, not really…”

  “You can’t take a test on an empty stomach. Besides, I’m starving. You wouldn’t want me to have to eat alone, would you?”

  “I’m sure that it wouldn’t be a problem for you to find someone to eat with,” she said.

  He grinned and said, “But I’d rather eat with you.”

  Kelly Ward went to sleep that night with Jesse on her mind. They’d had dinner and he’d been funny and sweet and she was practically enraptured by him. Then he walked her to her class and she almost had a heart attack when he asked her for her phone number, “I’d really love to see you again,” he said. “Next time, maybe we can make it a real date.”

  Her hand was shaking as she took the phone he handed her and put her number into it. He seemed to never take his eyes from her face. It was unnerving and exciting at the same time. She pictured those eyes before she closed hers that night and a warm feeling spread throughout her body. She had a feeling that maybe she’d just met the man who was going to rescue her.

  CHAPTER SIX

  “You need a break?” Derek asked her.

  Chloe hadn’t realized she was shaking again. It had been a long time since she even allowed herself to think about the “good” Jesse she’d first met. She stopped that a long time ago. At first, when she was still with him, it was what always convinced her to stick it out. Remembering what he could be made her want to believe what he was…was only temporary. It was a way of deluding herself and there towards the end of their relationship, right before he tried to kill her, she’d stopped doing it. After that, she didn’t let herself do it because she despised him so badly that she felt by remembering all of that, she was giving him some kind of credit that he didn’t deserve. But in order to give Derek the full story, it was where she had to start.

  “No,” she told him. “I’m okay.” She let her mind drift back again and she started talking. “We started dating then. He took me out to nice restaurants for dinner and we went to shows and he took me ice skating in Rockefeller center. He was so polite and cultured and respectful…he was the epitome of a perfect gentleman. We’d been dating about two months and he’d never pressured me for sex. But that night, we were at his apartment and he’d made dinner for me and we were laying on the couch together watching a movie…and things just started happening.

  “Jesse,” Kelly said in a breathless voice after a long, sexy kiss. Jesse had his hands underneath her shirt and he was feeling her breasts as he pushed it up to take it off of her.

  “Yeah baby,” he said. His voice was deep and husky too.

  “I need to tell you something before you see me naked.” His hands stopped moving and he pulled back so he could look at her face.

  “You’re not a man are you?” he asked. She giggled.

  “No, I’m not a man.”

  “Good, then I can’t imagine anything else you could tell me that would be as ominous as it sounds.”

  “I have a lot of scars on my back.” She spit it out quickly and watched his face as she said it.

  “From what?” he asked.

  She took a breath then and for the first time in her life she said, “I was abused as a kid.”

  Jesse pushed himself up so he was sitting up right. Then he raised her up and lay her down across his lap. She cringed as she felt him pull her shirt up slowly. She heard him take in a sharp breath and then softly begin to run his fingers across her scars. He did that for a while and then he leaned down and ran his lips over them as well. Neither of them spoke again, they just let that moment act as fuel on the already smoldering flames between them. They made love all night. It was the first time that Kelly had been touched by a man other than her father. Jesse was gentle and attentive and he kept telling her over and over how beautiful she was. When they finished, they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

  When they woke up later he said, “You’re not going back there.”

  “What?”

  “To your father’s house. You’re not going back there.”

  “But…I don’t have much money Jesse and I don’t have anywhere to go…”

  “Then you can stay here. If you don’t want to live with me, I’ll rent you your own place. You’re not going back there, Kelly.”

  In hindsight, that was her first clue that Jesse was controlling. It was disguised as concern, but she would find out much later that his “concern” was about her father touching her the way that from that point on was only Jesse’s right as he saw it. She couldn’t let him pay for another place, so she’d stayed with him. He had taken her shopping and bought her all new things. He wouldn’t let her pay for anything. He told her that from then on, he would take care of her. And for the first six months or so, he did a fairly good job of that.

  Jesse graduated from law school and took a job with a firm that was owned by a good friend of his father’s. The firm was involved in a lot of Tort cases and Jesse started working long hours. When he came home at night, he was often so exhausted that he was irritable and would snap at Kelly about silly things. She would let it go. She didn’t want to argue with him. The past six months had been the best of her young life and she didn’t want to bite the hand that fed her. She kept the apartment spotless clean and she learned how to cook and made sure he had a hot meal waiting for him every night when he came home from work. Meanwhile, she continued to study hard and make straight “As” in all of her classes. She’d given up the job at the coffee shop because Jesse had asked her to, but she was okay with that, she didn’t like it anyways.

  She and Jesse lived off campus, so she generally took a cab to and from school when it was dark out. Jesse didn’t like her walking alone after dark, especially when he was at work and hard to reach. This one particular night, she’d taken a cab to class and afterwards as she was waiting to hail a cab, she realized s
he didn’t have her purse. She knew she’d had it earlier because she’d paid the cab driver. Her wallet and phone and most importantly, her money was in there.

  She went back to the classroom but the instructor had already left and locked up. It was almost ten at night. If she walked across campus, she could probably catch the custodian…but then it would be really late. She decided she should just go home and get it in the morning. In tears because she was frustrated with herself, she began the walk home. She was a little less than halfway there when a young man on a Vespa pulled up beside her.

  “Hey Kelly!” It was a guy named Rob from her Sociology class.

  “Hi Rob.”

  “Why are you out here walking so late alone?”

  Kelly told him what happened with her purse and that she wasn’t sure if Jesse would be home to pay the cab when she got there, so she’d decided to walk.

  “I have an extra helmet for my girlfriend. Do you want a ride?”

  Kelly looked at the Vespa. She’d never been on one, but it actually kind of looked like fun. More fun than walking in the city at night.

  “Sure, if you don’t mind,” she’d said.

  “Hop on.”

  Rob gave her the helmet and she slid on behind him. She loved the way the air felt against her face and by the time they got to her and Jesse’s apartment, she felt invigorated. That was until she slid off and saw Jesse standing next to his car looking at her. He must have just gotten home and he didn’t look happy. Not really understanding the look was directed at her then, Kelly had said, “I’m a dork and I left my purse in class. Rob was kind enough to give me a ride.”

  Jesse was glaring at her. He turned his glare on Rob then and Rob said, “I better get. See you, Kelly.”