Scarred - The Complete Series

by Kylie Walker

  She sat back down at the table and opened it to the first page. As she ate her breakfast, she began to read,

  December 24, 2008

  Dear Diary,

  I haven’t written in a while because I have been so busy living. It’s Christmas Eve! I love Christmas! My last journal wasn’t completely full, but I wanted to start a new one for this entry because it’s so special. First of all I want to say that I am the luckiest girl in the world. If I died tomorrow, it would be completely fulfilled. Don’t get me wrong, there is still much that I want and plan to do with my life…but I am truly happy and I know that I’ve been so blessed. (And I wouldn’t want to die on Christmas)

  With that being said, I will tell you what happened last night. Derek came to pick me up for dinner. I could tell as soon as he came to the door that something was up with him. He was kind of antsy and he and my dad kept making eye contact and secret things were being passed between them, I think. It was like they knew something that I didn’t know.

  Derek took me to a beautiful French restaurant in Manhattan. We just talked and laughed through dinner the same way that we always do and I’d begun to think that it was my imagination that Derek had anything planned. After dinner we went to Rockefeller Center and we ice skated and looked at the tree and we even did a little bit of last minute shopping. I found a beautiful charm for mom’s bracelet. It’s a twin’s symbol and Derek had the idea to have “Sarah” engraved on one side and “Sophia” on the other. I feel so bad that Sophia has missed so many Christmases with us. I hope that Christmas in Heaven is extra special for her and I hope she knows that every year, Mom buys her a present. There’s a plastic box in the basement full of them.

  Chloe had to stop there for a minute. She could hardly breathe and she had tears so thick in her eyes that she couldn’t see. She thought about Samantha, shopping every year for Christmas and buying a present for the baby she lost. Once she gathered herself, she read on.

  After we’d driven out of the city and into the country, Derek said, “There’s something I need to show you.” He drove a ways further and then pulled off on this long, country road. I was curious, but I waited as patiently as I could. Suddenly, I could see nothing but lights. I asked him what it was and he said, “Just wait, you’ll see.” When we got closer I could see that it was a little lake. There were trees all around it and hanging from all of the trees were tons of beautiful lighted stars. It was the most amazing thing I’ve ever seen. There was a path along behind the trees and Derek and I got out of the car and walked along it. When we got to the center, Derek stopped. He had me sit down on this big rock and then he knelt down next to me. At that second I knew what the surprise was and I was already shaking.

  “Sarah, I wished on a thousand stars that someday I would find the woman of my dreams. I found her and I’m hoping that she’ll consent to making me the happiest man in the world.” He opened a box he had in his hand and the prettiest ring I’d ever seen was in there. I had to blink back my tears to really see it. Derek went on and said, “Will you marry me, Sarah?”

  I’m sure you’ve figured it out diary…I said yes. I’ve never felt anything like the way he makes me feel. I’m so happy and I love him so much and my only regret is that my sister won’t be here to be my maid of honor. I’ll carry her with me where I always do though…in my heart.

  Chloe spent the rest of the morning after her shower, taking a walk around the grounds. It was such a beautiful place, and as much as she loved the beach, the more she thought about where she wanted to live, the more a place like this came to mind. She loved to walk along the dirt or gravel paths where the countryside stretched out in front of her like a quilt of green, brown and gold squares. The trees along the outside held it all together and it was dotted with the horses all through the center. The further she walked, the more the land rose and fell like giant waves and occasionally she would see a farmhouse or a barn. Out here, she couldn’t help but feel at peace with the world. If someone asked her what she wanted most for the child she was carrying, she would tell them peace. She wanted the baby to grow up with the peace in his or her heart that Chloe never felt until recently, because of all the feelings she’d ever had, a peaceful heart was the best.

  She was out walking for almost an hour when her phone rang. It was Jake. “Hi Jake!”

  “Hey Chloe. Where are you?”

  “I’m out for a walk, headed back to the house now. What’s up?”

  “I’m here at the house. I wanted to talk to you about something.”

  “Okay, I’ll be right there.” As she walked back, she let herself wonder what it was that Jake might want to tell her. It was hard to tell from his tone. It had been neutral, as usual. She assumed since he came all the way out here instead of just calling, that it had to do with her case. When she reached the back of the house, she saw Jake out on the patio waiting for her. “Hi.”

  “Hey. How are you feeling?”

  “I feel good,” she told him honestly. “Almost as good as new.”

  “My nephew is doing well?”

  Chloe laughed. “He…or she is doing fine according to my doctor. I saw her this week.”

  “That’s great. You’re going to name him after me, right?”

  She laughed again. “What if it turns out to be a she?”

  “I think Jake is such a strong name that it could go either way.”

  “We’ll see,” she said with a smile. “What’s up?”

  “Let’s sit down.”

  “Uh –oh!”

  “It’s not that bad. It’s something we can deal with a lot easier than you having criminal charges against you.”

  Chloe sat down and said, “Okay, give it to me.”

  “Vince Donavan is filing a wrongful death suit against you.”

  “Jesus, he can do that if the state didn’t even charge me with anything?”

  “Yeah, it’s a civil suit. The burden of proof in a civil suit weighs heavier on the defendant than it does in a criminal case. Basically in a civil suit, you have to prove your innocence.”

  “What is he looking to gain?”

  “I haven’t gotten served with any papers for you yet, so I’m not sure what he wants in damages, but the bottom line is…he wants you to suffer.”

  Chloe nodded. “Sounds a lot like his son.”

  “Yeah, unfortunately the apple rarely falls far. I’m telling you this because I don’t want you to be taken off guard when you get served with the paperwork, but I don’t want you to worry about it. What we have on our side is proof that he abused you. We have proof that he tried to kill you once…he was convicted of it. We had charges filed against him for what he did to Chantelle…we’ve got a lot of witnesses to his bizarre behavior, myself included. I don’t believe that Vince will win, so please don’t waste any time worrying.”

  Chloe nodded again and said, “I’ll do my best.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Saturday morning Derek woke up excited. He had big plans for Chloe’s birthday and it had been really hard for him to keep them a secret, the closer it got to September 28th. Chloe was still asleep when he woke up, so he lay there for a long time, just watching her sleep. He could see the difference in her face now as opposed to when he first met her. Back then, even asleep she’d looked guarded…or she’d had nightmares. It had been a long time since Derek woke up to her having a nightmare. He hoped that someday so many good thoughts and memories would drown those old ones out of her head completely.

  He saw her lips draw up into a smile and in a low voice she said, “Good morning.”

  He ran his hand down the side of her face. “Good morning, beautiful. Did I wake you?” She opened her pretty eyes and looked at him.

  “I felt those beautiful eyes on me. It’s the best part of waking up.”

  He leaned down and kissed her softly on the lips. Then pulling his head back up slightly he said, “Happy Birthday.”

  She smiled broader. “Thank you. It’s already the best
one I’ve ever had, just waking up next to you.”

  “I know how we could make it better…” He found her neck with his lips, nuzzling his face into her soft hair.

  “Mm…do you think Samantha and Trevor are up?”

  He kissed down her chest, just to the tops of her breasts before he stopped. “Probably. I’m sure they’re waiting out there to wish you a happy birthday. But…” He leaned back down and kissed one of her breasts through the thin material of her nightgown. “We could always share a shower…”

  Chloe moaned low in her throat and arched up off the bed when he kissed the other one. “We could do that. It would actually be environmentally conscious. We’d be conserving water.”

  Derek let his tongue trace the outline of the swell of the tops of her breasts. Chloe shivered. “I like that idea,” he said. “I’m an environmentally conscious kind of guy.” He flexed his hips into her side and she could feel how ready he was. She also felt one of his hands sliding along the inner part of her thigh. She moaned again and spread her legs open.

  “Shower,” she said, already out of breath. She felt him smile against her skin.

  “Stay here, don’t move. I’ll be right back.”

  “Hurry,” she said with a smile. Derek went into his adjoining room first and locked the door. He was what he considered fully recovered now…and Chloe was almost there. He loved Trevor and Samantha like they were his own parents, but he couldn’t wait until he and Chloe were back in their own space again. The first chance he got, he planned on making love to her in every room and every position possible. For today, he would settle for the shower…it was never really settling when it was with Chloe. Each time was more mind-blowing than the last.

  He went back into the bathroom and started the water, adjusting the temperature and the spray. When he got back to Chloe’s room, he saw that she hadn’t moved just as he’d asked. He locked her door and then went over to the bed and scooped her up. She wasn’t expecting it and she giggled into his bare chest. God she feels good in his arms. He carried her into the bathroom before setting her down on her feet. The mirror was already beginning to steam up…

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  After Derek and Chloe actually showered, they followed their noses out to the dining room where there was a huge spread of fruits, bagels, muffins and eggs. There was also a bouquet of roses and a cluster of balloons to wish her a happy birthday. Trevor got up from the table as soon as he saw her and came around to give her a big hug. He kissed her on the cheek then and holding her back so he could see her face he said,

  “You know that we never thought this day would come. For the last twenty-five years we wished for the chance to celebrate your birthday with you just once. This day and every day since Derek brought you to us has been an answer to our prayers. Happy birthday, darling Chloe.”

  Chloe smiled through her tears. “Thank you so much. Everything is so beautiful.”

  Samantha came over then and took her into her arms. She didn’t say anything, she just held the daughter that she thought she would never know. Chloe still marveled at how safe and warm she always felt in the petite little woman’s arms. Samantha kissed her cheek too and when she reluctantly let her go she said, “Happy birthday love.”

  “Thank you.” Chloe looked around at all of the food and said, “You’ve outdone yourself again. I’m going to gain fifty pounds by the time this baby is born.”

  Samantha waved a hand at her. “I don’t think you have to worry about it. Besides, it’s all healthy food. You’re not nauseated this morning, are you?”

  Chloe thought about making love to Derek in the shower. Right before they’d gotten in, she’d felt a quick wave of nausea. Once they were naked together in the shower, she forgot all about it. Maybe she’d found the cure for morning sickness…making love to a beautiful man.

  “No, not at all,” she told her mother. They all sat down to eat and for the most part conversation was light. Derek said, “Your parents and I would like to take you out for dinner if that’s okay with you?”

  “That sounds great,” she said. “But you don’t really have to do all of that. This breakfast and just being here with all of you is enough.”

  “Oh brace yourself honey,” Trevor said, “Your mother doesn’t know how to do “good enough.” Your day will be completely overwhelming, but she’ll make it so much fun that you’ll want to do it all over again as soon as it’s over.”

  Chloe laughed. “Okay, well since this is my first real birthday celebration…” she heard Samantha suck in a breath. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to bring up the past. I was just going to say that I will definitely let myself enjoy this.”

  “They didn’t celebrate your birthday?” Samantha asked with a sad face.

  “I don’t think she wants to talk about it, Sam,” Trevor told her. Derek reached over and put his hand on her leg and squeezed.

  Chloe smiled softly at her mother and said, “You do know that whatever they did or didn’t do, wasn’t any more your fault than it was mine, right?”

  Samantha nodded. “I know that rationally, but in my heart I still feel so guilty for not finding you.”

  “You didn’t know. Please don’t feel guilty. You’ve already done more for me than anyone else ever has…all of you. I’m so happy and I know that this is going to be the best birthday ever. That’s what I want to concentrate on today.”

  “Then that’s what we’ll do,” Trevor said.

  “Here, here!” Derek said, holding up his orange juice glass. “To Chloe, happy birthday and a hundred more.”

  Trevor and Samantha held theirs up to and said, “To Chloe.” After they toasted her the conversation returned to light, everyday things. Unfortunately, Chloe had let her mind go into the past and once she did that, she sometimes had a hard time pulling it back to the present. In this case, she was thinking of the last birthday she “celebrated” with Jesse. She couldn’t really say that her birthday wasn’t “celebrated” when she was him…but it never ended well. She shuddered and pushed the thoughts of Jesse back where they belonged in the far recesses of her brain. Today was going to be a good day.

  They all cleaned up together and Chloe and Derek took their morning walk. While they were out walking she told him, “I’m not sure how you feel about it, but I think if it’s not too inconvenient for you with work, that I’d like to live in a place like this.” Chloe hadn’t gotten used to asking for things yet. Her entire life it had been dangerous to ask for things because the person she asked usually wanted something from her in return.

  Derek smiled brightly and said, “I would love to live out here. I’d love it if we could find something close and then Sam and Trevor could see the baby as often as they wanted to. I want to buy him or her a pony too, so this would be perfect.”

  Chloe laughed. “A pony?”

  “Every kid needs a pony,” Derek said.

  “Every spoiled child,” she said with a grin. “This child is going to be a tad bit over-indulged, I think.”

  “Maybe,” he said. He looked at Chloe’s face and said, “Okay, probably…but what’s having money good for if you can’t use it to make the people you love happy and comfortable? They will have us and the Whitemore’s and Dad and Jake as examples so in spite of the spoiling, I’ve no doubt that our child will be a good person.”

  “I don’t doubt it either. I love to think about taking this same walk with our little one running ahead, picking flowers. It’s funny too, because I would have never even considered that before. I used to be afraid of bringing a child into the relationship between me and Jesse even though I didn’t think I could get pregnant. It’s one thing to be abused yourself and take it. It’s quite another to bring a child into it.”

  Derek put his arm around her as they headed back to the house. “This,” he said, putting his hand softly against her abdomen, “This is our miracle and I know without a doubt that you are going to be the best mother in the world.”

  She smiled
and said, “I’ll have to be to save face. After all, the kid will already have the best father in the world.”

  As they walked back to the house, Derek talked to her about some ideas he had for houses in the area. When they got back to the house he said, “I’m going to go into the kitchen and call my junior agent. I’ll have her put a list of houses together for us to look at on Monday.”

  Chloe sat with Samantha while she knit and Trevor pretended to be watching a news program but was actually napping in the recliner next to them.

  “Are you okay?” Chloe asked her mother. Sam’s mood was subdued…she’s was usually so positive and bubbly.

  “I’m fine,” she said with a smile. She put the knitting down and said, “For twenty-four years I celebrated this day without you and it was always filled with a mixture of joy…for Sarah and sadness for you. Today it is the opposite and I’m just trying to put my head around everything that’s happened.”

  Chloe put her hand on her mother’s arm. “I don’t know why someone as kind hearted and giving as you had to go through so much. You’re a perfect example of what a mother should be. You shouldn’t have had to endure so much pain.”

  Samantha smiled at her daughter. Her eyes were brimming with tears as she said, “Pain is an unfortunate side effect of living. Some people…like you for example, have had to endure more than their fair share. I wish that I knew the explanation for that. I don’t, but what I do know and you do to is that it doesn’t last forever. You might have the same kind of pain again…or a different kind that hurts more or less…but in between it goes away, as long as you endure it. Then sometimes you endure it for years, the way your father and I did when we thought you were dead, only to be rewarded with a miracle.” Samantha gently placed her hand on her daughter’s still flat belly and said, “You had more than your fair share, but now you have your miracle. No one alive can explain why…but somehow that pain led you to here because somewhere inside of you, you never stopped believing that it would get better.”